Chapter 54
Over the next fortnight, Polly worked on researching her three clients, but mainly Ciaoissimo; the mills of God couldn’t have
ground finer detail. She poked into every nook and cranny of the business; she investigated every member of the board down
to what color socks they wore and what sort of pet their dental hygienist owned. She took her research to obsessive levels,
getting in after Chris some nights, which he wasn’t happy about. They still weren’t sleeping in the same bed, even though
he said that if they did maybe that would bring back a few memories. She refused to be hurried. She recognized that work had
become her respite again, as it must have been before, because there was nothing outside it, nothing to come home to other
than rattling around inside four walls with someone who did nothing to dispel her loneliness.
She’d just walked into the house, having had a very successful meeting with the Mandy’s Handbags people, when there was a
knock on the door, and straight afterward Will flew in. His eyebrows were lowered in a worried frown and she remembered a
younger version of him, convinced he was going to fail his exams, wearing the selfsame expression.
“Polly, I need to talk to you,” he said. “I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing, but I have to do it.”
“Then sit and talk to me.”
Polly pulled out a chair from under the table for him and he threw himself down on it.
“Are you okay?” she asked. He didn’t look okay. He looked stressed. He was stressed; in fact, Will couldn’t remember being
more stressed in his life. He had talked himself in and out of this more times than he could count. He felt as if he’d been
at war with himself for the past couple of weeks.
“Polly, what do you remember about the day you left?”
“Not a lot.”
“Do you remember the wedding?”
Polly jiggled her head, unsure. “I thought I remembered a wedding. I think I was a bridesmaid, but I’m not sure that’s right.”
“No, Polly, you were the bride. On the day you left, you were getting married. You didn’t know you were; you thought you were
my auntie Camay’s bridesmaid. It was all supposed to be a big surprise.”
He pulled out his phone. For once he was glad that his sister was a class-A bitch and had filmed it, probably for nefarious
reasons, but he’d warned her right off using any footage. He started the video and Polly heard violins playing, saw herself
walking in between chairs, people’s heads turning, the close-up of confusion on her face hardening to something akin to horror.
Images slammed into her brain like asteroids. She remembered it all in one God-awful agglomeration of facts. Shauna’s sneery
face, the long, baggy dress, Camay and her plum satin, the gripping hand of panic at her throat as she realized why she was
there. Kicking off her shoes and picking up her dress to run. Stan and the limo; angry, sweary texts on her phone. Her hands
shaking as she tried to put her key in the car ignition to go, leave, now. She had to get away, her foot on the accelerator.
Will watched her eyes flickering and could only imagine the brain activity going on behind them.
“Everyone thought you’d gone because you were leaving Dad for someone else. That’s why it took us so long to look for you. Oh Polly, I’m so sorry.”
“Me and Mrs. Jones.” A receipt for fillet steaks and porn star martinis. Chris had had an affair. No wonder she hadn’t remembered him with any emotional content, because there was none. He’d killed
her love for him with a thousand small cuts and one massive coup de grace, and he hadn’t valued her enough to try to put it
right. She had walked out because she didn’t want to be with him anymore. She had packed up all her possessions because she
was leaving him, not because she’d gone barmy after losing her job. But she’d driven off with only the bare essentials because
the wedding had derailed all her plans, and she’d fled to the coast to start again with no intentions of going back.
Will sniffled; embarrassed, he wiped away a tear that had dropped onto the tabletop. “You must have been so unhappy. I half
wish we hadn’t found you because Dad’s still not making any bloody effort to keep you. I know he’s my dad, Polly, but I had
to tell you the truth. I love you and I think you deserve so much better.”
Polly put her arms around him and held him. This dear boy whom her heart had remembered with smiles when it couldn’t remember
his father at all.