Chapter 19
Chapter
Nineteen
ASH
The floorboards hum beneath our feet. Light seeps through the cracks like veins of silver.
My heart drowns in my chest for want of her—resonance igniting me from the inside out.
Only ever spoken of in whispers and shame. Now it burns clean as truth. Pulsing through me. Terrifying. Purifying.
The thing I’ve spent an entire lifetime hiding from and searching for. The thing that could wreck me.
Our breaths sync, each exhale altering the sound of the storm outside. The wind answers like a bow drawn over wire.
Josephine palms my chest, her tiny hand fragile against the heat of my flesh, light slipping between her fingers. The flesh that hums for her.
A low chord shudders through us—warmth, vibration—and I don’t know where it starts or ends, only that it binds us until we feel like one thing.
The mountains sing through us. The words float inside my head. Our eyes lock. Her breath catches.
Not hearing the words—feeling them.
The world blurs at the edges.
Focus narrows to light, touch—to the beat of her heart against mine.
I pull her closer, a desperate growl escaping my chest. Like I’ve spent decades holding my breath, lungs straining only to exhale finally.
Her arms thread around my neck, fingers tangling in my hair. My mouth drops, hungry and fierce, lips seizing hers, unraveling in the heat of our need.
My hands cup her cheeks, stepping her back to the table’s edge. My tongue sweeps into her mouth, ravenous, desire climbing like the thunderheads outside.
The air swarms—alive. Whispers thread it, chanting our secret, tucking it into mist and shadow.
I angle her head. The kiss deepens until space itself thins. The cabin glows, its objects a riot of hum and light.
Her hand comes to my forearm, and the light of my tattoos liquefies, wrapping around her.
“You don’t know what this means.” But she grips me tighter, eyes finding mine. Her chin lifts, voice a silk-edged dare. “Then show me.”
Her arms tighten around my body, hands pressed to bare flesh. Chest to chest, breathing each other’s air.
The world goes silent, one held breath between heartbeats.
Then a single note floods everything, raw, pure, unheard for too long to remember—the Starborn pitch, the one that lives in bone.
Her fingers are electricity on my skin, burning and awakening. Shivers of need slide through me. My heart pumps, blood singing with her name, the bond quickening, yet to be spoken in flesh.
I sense the part of her that wants to run from the power of this. It echoes in the tremor of my hands.
But the rest—her truer self—leans in like I do.
“Whatever this is,” she whispers. “I want to feel it all.”
“You shouldn’t,” I murmur against her warm lips.
“You think I don’t feel it?” She inches back, eyes darting to mine. “You’re wrong. The same wildfire is in my bones. I want to burn anyway.”
My breath catches in my throat. “But your need for data. Explanations…”
“Field research. All fives senses.”
Our lips tangle again. When I pull back panting, I add, “More than five… technically.”
Her eyes round. “Not ready for that yet.”
I huff a laugh. Can’t remember the last time I felt this light. My hands skim her shoulders; the coat pools at our feet. My fingers tease the front of her mint blouse, tugging at the ties.
Each unknotting a binding.
“Need you.” My voice is raw, breathing ragged.
“Yes.”
Her answer trembles with the shaking of her body.
“But how can you be sure?”
“Ash,” she whispers, large mossy eyes looking at me. “How can I deny this? When I feel it in every part of me?”
“But distance is discipline.”
Her hands still, and she shifts back onto her heels. “Is that why you left?”
I nod, forehead furrowing. Failure too fresh to name. “Because I chose you. Your grandparents. The community. But still… it wouldn’t stop.”
She nods.
“For me, it muted. Like a chronic ache. Maybe something I could live with… if I had to.” Her eyes drop to my chest, fingers tangling with tattooed light. “But why?”
The question I can’t answer anymore.
“Can’t answer that.”
“Can’t stop.”
I memorize every smooth plane and curve—perfection. My head dips, mouth kissing along her jawline and neck, her shoulder, down to her full breasts buried beneath pink lace.
Her desire scents the air, sweet as a promise.
The clasp gives, the fabric falls, and I admire her for one painful moment.
Every need hangs between us, begging for release.
She trembles at my touch, exhale shuddering as I take her nipple into my mouth, circling with my tongue. She gasps, eyes searching mine when I raise my head. “Too much?”
“Not enough. Need more.” I suck and tease her, nip and lap, kneading her with my hands before switching sides.
Her moan melts into my skin, pleasure doubling back as I feel her feeling me. A slight hum of ecstasy I didn’t expect.
She gasps, pupils blown when she looks at me. “You felt that, too?”
I nod, chest too tight to breathe. But still, I can’t get enough of her.
“Almost too much. Too good to stop.”
“Yes,” she pants.
I’m a goner.
Lost.
Ready to die for this—for her.
Light bends around us. Frequencies melt and refract.
My flesh pours into hers and hers into mine as I lift her from the ground. Her legs circle my waist.
For a heartbeat, I’m afraid I’ll lose myself. Then I realize I’m finding pieces I never knew were missing.
Her hands are in my hair. Her mouth against mine.
I pull back slightly, fighting to say, “If we do this—”
“It’s too late,” she whispers, urgent lips feathering my face.
I need her to know that once she’s mine, we can never go back. She already does.
Every touch erases another line between our bodies and our minds. Fierce longing rushes through me—hers echoing my own.
Her fears, her questions, her hesitations, dissolve in the weight of our flesh.
“But what if I get pregnant?” she gasps. I can feel the tiny seed of panic.
“I can stop.”
“No,” she says too fast.
Then anticipation, throbbing and vibrant. “Can you make my body vibrate… the way the hum shivers through me?”
I gasp against her mouth. “If legend’s right. Yes.”
Her eyes round, bottom lip trembling, cheeks burning. “Will you be gentle… with my virginity?”
My breath snags. “If you’ll be gentle with mine.”
She blinks slowly three times. “A seventy-year-old virgin?”
I take that as a challenge.
Clothes fall. Breath stutters. The universe contracts to the sound of our hearts.
“Is it different?” Her eyes meet mine, curiosity swirling.
I chuckle, pushing a hair from her cheek. “Good different,” I promise.
Her heart throbs behind her breastbone as need roars through me. The need to make her feel better than she ever has before. To make her fly like the ancient starships over Earth.
Her fingers dig into the waistband, tugging down the fabric as she stares for one long moment.
She settles on the spot above my cock that I’ve always had to hide. Her face darkens.
My hands shake as I grab pillows and blankets, cover the hard ground. Then, I lay her down gently, finally letting the full force of my weight settle into her.
She gasps. “What is that?”
That’s when I realize the extra organ above my cock is vibrating and sliding across the soft flesh of her abs.
My cheeks heat, fearing she can’t accept this.
But then, I see curiosity—not fear or disgust—behind her eyes. Ever analytical.
“Even a scientist in the bedroom,” I chuckle.
I spit on my thumb, sliding it between us to circle her clit. “Goes here,” I say, my lips an inch from hers. “Lets me please you as you please me. Makes our bond… forever.”
“Wait, what?” Her eyes round, thick lips dropping open.
“Does it scare you?” I ask.
“Forever’s a long time, Ash,” she moans, eyes sliding shut, surrendering to the flex of exotic muscle over her stomach. “But it’s all I want. God, what’s happened to me?”
“The resonance,” I whisper stroking her cheek. “If you don’t—”
“Stop talking,” she scolds. “This is what I want.”
She moans, hips inching toward me. “If it feels good here—” Her heat entrances me, the perfume of her arousal almost too much to bear.
Her voice fractures, lazy sounds escaping her lips. Sounds I know she’ll only make with me. “We should try it”—she gasps—“lower.”
“Yes. But first, I need to taste you.”
My mouth covers hers. My hand slides between her thighs, savoring the feel of silky flesh. Her legs part. I slide a finger inside, wincing at heat and tightness.
I can feel the stretch, the mixture of bliss and pain as I find her pleasure spot, tug at it with a curious finger.
She shudders, head lolling back. I repeat the action, and she mewls beneath me. My mouth returns to her nipples, feathering her flesh with ardent kisses until the need draws me lower.
Her throb rushes through me, the pull of my finger a slow unwinding. Each stroke of my slick thumb swirls around her until her desire urges me between her legs.
The first swipe of my tongue brings her hips off the blankets. I follow it with a long draw.
Then a pulse.
She shudders, gasping.
I add a second finger. Discomfort collides with pleasure. My cock goes so hard my whole body will explode.
She tightens and tightens, muscles shaking.
Later, my Starlight and I must practice psychic boundaries. How to put space between our pleasures so we don’t dissolve around each other’s bliss.
But now, I revel in the overload. Everything turns to hum and frequency as I lap and tease her. Wet velvet on my tongue, drawing her closer and closer as my fingers ready her for more.
I strain to hold back. A hot gush of heat hits my thigh.
I come hard. My release rushes through her. Shared heat and need. Burgeoning. Overflowing.
“Yes!” Her cries fill the air.
She grips and sucks my fingers. My tongue pushes her over the edge.
When she breaks, she takes me with her.
Spasming. Flying. Free falling.
I grip her tight, working her through it. Not letting go until she lies jointless beneath me.
I pull out, lick my fingers clean, savoring her flavor. Better than any taste to ever hit my tongue.
Then, I’m hard again. Harder than before, if that’s possible.
“I want to spend hours with my face between your legs,” I sigh, mouth covering hers. Tasting her taste herself.
I run my tip through her drenched folds. Her legs tremble, hips urgent.
I inch inside. Pain sears with each thrust.
Her hands grip my back, fingernails gouging. Somehow, sharing the discomfort helps.
Her body rounds around me, breath escaping in hot pants as I go deeper. I suck the pain inward, try to take it from her. I don’t know if such a thing exists. But I try.
Her hands drop to my ass, gripping me. Pulling me inside. All the way.
God. I gasp. Holding on by a thread.
Then the extra part of me finds her. Latches on. Vibrating and sucking. Powerful muscles flooding her with pleasure from another world.
I lock her hard against me. She screams, hips bucking, breath explosive.
Tied together. Cock still working inside, throbbing and thrusting.
“I can’t take—” Her words break, entire body quivering and unraveling.
My vision goes white, bearing her pleasure and mine.
Doubling it back until I can’t breathe.
We break together. Tumbling through space, breaths intermingling. Kisses still seeking but softening.
Sealed.
I fill her as she fills me; we are the same pulse.
Locked together—mind, body, soul.
Afterward, we lie tangled, breathing the same air. Her hands trace the glow of my skin as I cover her face with kisses.
“Mine,” I say—not possession but promise.
Before I can wonder how deep she feels this bond, she answers. The hum lingers, but quieter now. Inside us, woven, certain.
“We can’t undo this,” I whisper, pushing a lock of raven hair off her cheek.
“Would you want to?” she murmurs.
“Never.”
She lifts my hand, kisses each callused finger.
I tuck a blanket around our bodies, skin to skin beneath its rough warmth.
The firelight dances across her glowing skin as I fall in love with her all over again.
Her laughter spills, light as wind in pine, caressing the shape of memories from my youth. Our emotions brush. She tastes the feeling before I can hide it.
Her eyes find mine, and the breath rushes from her lungs. “You went to school with my grandfather. You were young when he was.”
“Yes.”
“Does that mean you’ll live forever? Watch me grow old and—”
The silence settles heavy between us.
“No,” I say, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Until the age of puberty, we grow like other kids. Then things stop. Arrest. Time freezes. Moving in increments. Almost unnoticeable.”
“Like Mags?”
“Yes,” I say. “Until the bond changes everything. But it hasn’t happened in a very long time.”
“What do you mean?”
I run my thumb over her thick bottom lip, tugging it down and kissing her again.
When we break, gasping, I admit, “It ties my life to the length of yours.”
“What?”
“Meaning, I’ll die when you do.”
Her chin trembles. “Really? You’d sacrifice that for me?”
I raise a finger, tracing her jawline. “It’s only really living if it’s with you.” My lips ghost over hers, sparks flying.
“But…” Her voice tightens, emotions swirling.
Shock. Fear. Sadness.
And something else.
Awe.
“Josephine—”
“How could you make that decision for both of us?” Her voice catches.
“How could I not? You’re what I need.”
“But, Ash—”
“This is what I want. All I want. You.”
“That’s a lot to put on a person,” she huffs, tears spilling over her lower lashes.
“Maybe, but it’s my sacrifice to make,” I say, rubbing away her tears with my thumb. I pull her close, breathing in her sage and honey. Savoring my mate, even the melancholy vibrating through her.
“Smile,” I whisper.
“How can I under the circumstances?”
“Nothing has changed.”
“Everything has,” she counters, raising her face to meet my gaze.
“Only in the best way.”
“How can you say that?”
“You’re my fate. I’d never run from it. From you.”
She doesn’t speak, but her throat works once.
I snag her chin, lifting her eyes to mine. “I’ve waited a long time for this. Please be happy. Smile.”
She inhales slowly, the corners of her mouth barely tipping up.
“Smile,” I tease, brushing her lips. “Or I’ll have to make you come again.”
“Oh, will you?” she says, voice seductive. But not as seductive as the smile she finally gives me.
She relaxes in my arms, tears wetting my chest. I stroke her hair, bearing it with her. Soaking up her pain and chasing it with my contentment.
Until her mind relaxes, and I explore.
My throat tightens as I taste her emotions. She narrates their meaning. The moment she first saw me at the ranch. The curiosity when she noticed the silvery shimmer of my tattoos.
Her desire at the petroglyphs. My hand slides lower, savoring her curvy form beneath the blanket, letting her feel me worship her.
Peace settles.
A stillness so complete it feels like prayer.
Outside, the mountains vibrate the same harmony back, as if the world itself has joined the song.