Prologue #2
“Do you even know how integral you were in my life? Did you care? For god’s sake, gardening tools and supplies. That boy at the store told me he offered to drive you home, but you said no. Why did you say no?”
“Why did you leave me? Hell, why did you hate me at the end when I worked so damn hard to be with you? You never met me even halfway to save us. I fought tooth and nail, and you left me for that damn garden.”
A throat cleared behind me and I sighed. It was probably one of Tucker’s Warriors. Then the scent of cherries hit me. I jumped, “Cassandra.” There she was standing a few feet from me. Herb purred in my head.
I cried, “Cassandra. How are you here? I…” I trailed off when she pulled me to her and whispered, “Shhh. I’m here now.” Her eyes were tender, in caring in a way they hadn’t been in decades. I cried into her neck, “God, I’ve missed you.”
I truly had missed this version of my mate that didn’t calculate or look at me like I’d ruined her life. I nibbled on her neck and to my surprise she moaned. It didn’t sound right, but I didn’t care. Cassandra was here and not pushing me away or looking at me with distain.
I lost myself in her and made love to her all night. I didn’t even care when the sun came up. I was afraid the moment my eyes closed it would all be a dream. I fought sleep until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.
I vaguely heard, “I told you what I want always happens. Thank you, Nathan Conners.” I snorted because Cassandra was a force of nature, but she didn’t always get her way.
In fact, lately she never did and she made sure all of us felt like shit about it.
Where had I heard that line before though? Had someone said that to me tonight?
I woke up to a gentle voice, “Nathan.” I sat up and looked around noting I was still in a forest. I asked, “Cassandra?” My daughter in law replied, “No, it’s Haley.” I looked up asking, “Where did she go? She was here.” Haley frowned, “Nathan, Cassandra passed away in the car accident.”
My eyes filled with tears, “Yes, I know that but she was here. I swear she was. These are not the clothes I was wearing.” Haley reasoned, “You must have shifted. You weren’t wearing clothes when I got here. I snapped you clean and into new clothes.”
I didn’t shift. Did I? I rubbed my temples saying, “It was so real. Cassandra was here; I know it.” Haley told me, “I didn’t see anyone else here when I got here, but that doesn’t mean someone else wasn’t here.
” I could tell my daughter in law just didn’t think it was Cassandra.
She couldn’t smell the faint scent of cherries like I could.
Haley asked, “Can I take you home, dad?” I sighed, “What for?” Haley squeezed my shoulder answering, “Because your sons and grandchildren fucking miss you. So do you daughters in law. All your things were moved back into your wing in the house. I can charm the place to smell like cherries if that will help you.”
I smiled at her, because Haley was truly the most considerate person alive. I agreed, “Maybe just Cassandra’s pillow. I can’t sleep without her scent.” Haley gave me a hug while saying, “I can do that for you. I’m so sorry.” She chanted under breath, granting me the peace of the earth.
My daughter in law grabbed me and popped me back to my wing. Eric was there, waiting. My son’s eyes were tight with worry. Haley squeezed my hand and conjured my pillow. She spoke in Fealish again then handed me my pillow.
The scent of cherries hit me again and the tears fell from my eyes. I whispered, “Thank you, Haley.” My daughter in law smiled at me, popped to Eric, gave him a kiss on the cheek then said, “Be nice. He’s hurting.” Eric nodded and she popped away.
Eric sighed, “Dad.” I cut off whatever he was going to say, “I promise I was with her, Eric.” Eric frowned asking, “What do you mean?” I explained, “I was going to come home then I swear to you that your mother was with me, son. We were together one last time.”
Eric shrugged, “Stranger things have happened in our lives. You were pretty drunk though.” I nodded.
My son somewhat begged, “Please don’t slip the Warriors watching you, dad.
I know you can, but we are worried. I can’t imagine your pain, and frankly I don’t want to. We still need to know where you are.”
I scoffed, “I’m a grown man.” Eric gritted his teeth, “A grown man who gets fall down drunk to the point several of my friends, and yours, have picked you up off the floor. You couldn’t fight off an attack if you wanted to. We can’t lose you too, dad.”
I felt bad for worrying him. I assured him, “You won’t lose me, Eric.” My son looked at me with pain in his eyes as he reiterated, “I can’t lose you too, dad. Just let the Warriors follow you.” I sighed, “Alright.” Eric sat down and whispered, “Thank you.”
I asked, “What’s wrong other than the obvious?” Eric admitted, “I didn’t like mom anymore. I miss the person she used to be, not the woman she turned into after Haley. I’m not sad that woman is gone, and I feel like shit about it.”
I hugged him admitting, “Your mother was a difficult woman. She didn’t make anyone’s life easier these last eight years. She hurt your pups. Hell, she hurt mine, and I struggle with that. I struggled with that while she was alive.”
I acknowledged, “I miss her and the way she used to be. That doesn’t mean her actions while she was here don’t still hurt or sting. Honestly, I don’t know how to forgive her for leaving me for that damn garden.”
Eric snorted, “That really is some kind of bullshit. It really hurt Haley’s feelings which my wife is trying to hide from me. She’s better at the bond than I am.” I told him, “You’ll get better at it. Haley’s taking care of you. I love her for it.”
Eric replied, “I love her too. My wife just gave birth and mom had to go and fucking die on the twins birthday, which makes me even more upset with a dead woman.” I could hardly blame him there. Herb huffed in my head, but I knew agreed.
Eric changed the subject, “Darrin wants to come sit with you.” I groaned, “I don’t need a babysitter.” Eric quickly informed me, “He’s not a babysitter. Darrin’s really struggling. I don’t know if you know, but Darrin gave mom the most chances.” I did know that.
Herb snorted, “Mate threw it in our face.” As if we didn’t have a lot of moments Cassandra couldn’t be bothered to come to our attempts to work on our relationship.
Eric continued, “He didn’t let her around his pups as much because she hurt their feelings; however, he always made sure to spend time with her.
They used to have lunch on Wednesdays. I think you should have that with him now.
He looks lost when lunch rolls around.” I nodded.
I needed to be their dad. No matter how old they were, they were still my pups. Herb agreed, “We do need to be there for our pups.” Eric yanked me into a hug then demanded, “Stop disappearing on us, old man.”
“Haley respects you so she pushes back on always popping to you; but we both know she’ll do it for me. Please don’t make me send my wife chasing after you every night, because I will do that to make sure you’re safe. Even if you hate me for it.”
I told him, “I could never hate you, Eric. Not ever. You are my son, and I love you.” Eric whispered, “I love you too dad.” I smiled softly as he left the room and waited for Darrin to come. I hugged the pillow tightly to me whispering, “I miss you, Cassandra.”
I looked at the ceiling saying, “I don’t know how you got us one last night together where you loved me like old times, but I miss that version of us.
Hell, I miss how you used to be. The one who didn’t write me a hateful letter from the grave and leave me for that damn garden.
” I missed my mate and I was positive she didn’t love me in the end, but I could admit I was lonely without her.