15 Kit
Iwasn’t sure what I was thinking, but it definitely shouldn’t have been that.
Anika walked the hallway, but I blew by her to hide my sordid details. I knew her eyes went wide because she understood what I did from the scent. I’d find her sitting on my bed when I left the bathroom, but I had to get there without being seen.
My feet sprinted and didn’t stop until I stood under the hot spray of my shower, scrubbing off their delicious stench as much as I could. This morning, I failed to hold up every construct of power I made everyone else believe I had. I let them in… I let my guard down.
Once I had the sin of my crimes scrubbed off, I exited and grabbed my towel.
It scraped against the dampness on my flesh before I twisted my hair into it.
I finally made my way out of my bathroom after slipping into my robe.
Sure enough, Anika sat where I expected, tapping the tips of her fingers together above her knees as she slouched over them.
“Eight days,” she stated how long their duration here had been. “You didn’t last eight days before doing something stupid with one of them. This was why I was hesitant to say yes to Leia.”
“I wasn’t prepared for Turner to come with us this morning,” I confessed. “Do you know how hard it was to fight him while being near him, scenting him. It was like I had no more control.”
“Then you need to stay the hell away from him because you know word will get out. We didn’t build this lifestyle up for it to come crumbling down the second you found them again.”
Her anger was palpable, and she had every right to place this suffocating tension between us. Ducking my head, my lower lip wobbled as I tried to choke back tears. “You’re absolutely right, and I’m so sorry for putting us at risk.”
“I know you hate to hear this, but I need you to remember why we started this life in the first place. I need you to remember why we found ourselves here because it had everything to do with that pack leaving. Ryatt’s pack put a target on your back!
They drew attention to you by wanting you, and then they just expected the rest of the crime world to forget you existed when they left without marking you?
” Standing from the bed, she came over to me and wrapped me in her muscular arms. Anika was my home, and I knew I’d never be able to be in a pack without her.
“I know you still love them, but I need you to try a little harder to pretend you’re not.
I don’t care how young and dumb they were.
They should’ve known you’d get taken. I’m so sorry that weight is on you. ”
“It wasn’t just me they left that day,” I reminded her.
The men had seen how Anika and I bonded when I met her.
It was our senior year when her and Raphael moved into our school.
Mandy had been with me through the earlier years of high school, and we were three inseparable friends after.
Anika had a short time with the guys, but I knew she saw them as family as well. It wasn’t just me they left that day.
“We’ll get by just fine, but I need you to tell me when you need me to interfere. We only survive this together.” She stepped back from holding me in her giant frame. Anika was beautiful in ways the typical man wouldn’t see, but I did.
“I told Jericho that I’d start training him in self-defense. As of this morning, Turner now plans to tagalong. I’m going to need you to wake up with me and help me with that because I know I’m too weak to not let it happen again.”
“I’ll start taking over that training session for no more hiccups. Why don’t you just put your focus in the farm today? We’re not doing anything with the Betas until tomorrow. You might as well find some peace and comfort. Get away from them for an afternoon.”
I wasn’t sure how she kept being as strong as she was, but I knew I needed it.
Anika had always been the voice of reason inside my head that held me up to be strong when I thought I wasn’t capable.
I remembered the days when I wasn’t as lucid as I am now, struggling to remember what version of reality found me each time.
If it weren’t for Anika, I would have been another junkie living on the side of the road. Death would’ve found me already.
“The farm will be a good change of pace for me.” Nodding my head, I moved to my wardrobe and pulled out a pair of jeans with an olive sweater.
Slipping into my boots, I knew there was a lot of loose dirt from our high-rise beds.
We built a chamber within the compound to host underground fields.
Getting my hands into some weeds and pulling them would feel therapeutic today.
My body hummed with a new vibration of energy, thanks to the orgasm the two men had given me, so I needed an outlet today.
Rushing to braid my hair, I did it for the French braid to fall down my back.
No one important would be seeing me today, so I didn’t feel the need to doll myself up like I would have to for dinner later on.
Anika walked over to me with our cinnamon and smoke perfume.
She spritzed the scent we created together that masked our unclaimed ones.
Not many understood what we were doing, but by picking potent smells, we were able to hide our secret.
She let her hand trail over the branding on my neck, so I copied her move by doing the same to her little bumps covered by her blue braids from her wide mohawk.
We knew what we had given up without having to say it, but that didn’t make this part any easier in the isolation we lived in.
Together, we had to fight the urge and desire to belong in order to survive.
After she spritzed me, she placed my bigger bottle on the shelf next to my bed because I had a smaller vial in my bra.
We reapplied the smell every few hours to make sure our own never came through.
Anika was the only true family I had because the one I thought would want me, abandoned me.
Now those same boys were here, but they weren’t here for me.
She’d been right about them painting a target on my back because they wore me on their arm to every function.
When they left, all the men in the city knew a rare Omega had been left for them.
“This world is cruel, and so are those boys,” Anika reminded me.
“It makes having the will to live hard to find, so thank you for being that reminder for me.” Bowing my head to her, I then wrapped my arms around her muscular waist. Being a lot taller than me, my forehead sat right where her lips were.
“You know you can always come sleep with me and Raphael when you start feeling lonely,” she offered.
“I know, but that sometimes makes it harder.” Closing my eyes, I hated our world and the unfair system we were herded into.
We should be able to be a pack without having an Alpha mark us.
Wiping a tear from my eye, I knew she understood.
She was the one person who devoted herself to sticking by me, and I did the same for her.
That meant I had to clear my thoughts of those boys before it ruined us both.
“Also, Mandy sent you a message, and she forwarded it to my phone because you haven’t responded.
She has some type of formal gala coming up at the mayor’s home, and she’s hoping we’ll join her as her guests.
” Anika moved to the door with me, gearing up to deal with our official problems outside our personal feelings.
She was good at flipping that switch, and I learned my skills through her.
“When is it?” I straightened my shoulders and cleaned my eyes one more time to make sure no one saw me being weak.
“It’ll be tomorrow night, so right after the recon mission. You’re going to have to get back and get changed.”
“And you’re coming too, right?” I wanted a confirmation that Anika would be by my side in public. While I could take Raphael, Anika was the one I wanted.
“I am your Beta, so I can go as your protection. Though, Mandy sent me an invitation as well.”
“Then go to have a good time,” I replied. Stopping our walk down the hall, I took hold of her arm. “You devote so much time to me, but I think you need time for yourself as well. Plus, we can make your brother come to be my protection.”
“But who would we leave in charge here?” She looked around the quiet hall where no one was because we didn’t place people in this wing.
“We have a few that can be trusted,” I reassured her. “I can also protect myself if necessary, and that’ll be a very public event. I don’t think anyone would be stupid enough to try something while there.”
She dipped her chin to me before bowing slightly and stepping back. “I’m going to go talk to our control and delegate orders for tomorrow then. I also plan to stay back when you do the recon tomorrow because there was enough Betas to fill the slots.”
That saddened me. I wouldn’t have her on my excursion, especially with Kashmir being with me, but I knew better then to go against her instincts. “I trust your judgment.”
“You should,” she humored with a smirk. “I also received word from Leia. She’s safe where she is. You are more than welcome to alleviate her brothers’ worries, but we can’t say anything more than her safety, per her request.”
A typical morning between Anika and me having to get straight to business.
After she found me broken in my room and fixed me up, we talked about what lied ahead of us for the day.
It helped break me out of the sorrow I felt when I drifted off to sleep and dreamed of love.
She steered the conversation to the point with everything on her mind instead of gradually moving the discussion to something else, and it was one of her best attributes in my eyes.
“I’ll be sure to pass it along,” I said before knowing we were going to part ways.
She was now heading to the control room stationed in the opposite direction, and I was going deeper into our tunnels of corridors where we hid the farm.
Feeling a little more like myself, I knew today just got a little easier now that a plan had been made.
I think Anika knew that, so it was why she showed up at my door every morning with a one.
Giving me something to focus on helped ease the betrayal I felt anytime I finally rested.