Chapter 31
Gabriel
I’d missed the announcement breakfast/lunch.
It was more of a brunch as most of the pack, including myself and Sophia, had been awake for a good part of the evening and early morning. But unlike everyone else, I hadn’t bothered with sleep.
The shower with Valarie had taken it out of me in more ways than one.
She tired me out physically more than any of the other women I’d been with, even though the sex wasn’t that demanding.
It’s not like we had entire nights together to go at it more than once, to really put our all into it.
Actually, my trysts with her had been some of the more rushed ones I’d had.
And without a doubt, the most satisfying.
I should have been able to sleep after having her up against the wall like that. Balancing on a wet surface while holding up another person—a female who wasn’t petite and took advantage of her position to pull and tug at me—was exhausting.
But it was our fast and furious fight after that had kept me up throughout the rest of the morning.
Her words, spit so bitterly even as she’d been glistening fresh out of the shower, had buried themselves deep.
This whole time, I’d been coming to the realization that Valarie saw me. The person I felt I was on the inside, the wolf I felt I was, not this Alpha that everyone bowed to and wouldn’t look in the eye. But someone more curious and still playful. More open and clumsy.
At least, that’s what I’d thought until she said what she said.
But she couldn’t have meant it, could she?
There was no way we’d spent so many nights together in human and wolf form and she hadn’t noticed that there was something more there.
My internal argument was interrupted by a very well-placed rustle, and I looked up to see my mother stepping through the hydrangeas with their large, dry blooms.
She, uncharacteristically, wore comfortable looking trousers with her hair let down. I had expected her to look relieved after the final night of the Hunt, but somehow, she looked more tired than ever.
“Are you okay?” I asked, and she looked surprised for a moment before laughing.
She moved to sit beside me and placed a hand on my knee, sighing.
“That is exactly what I was coming here to ask you,” she said pointedly.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t at the brunch—I meant to come. Even got dressed for it, but I just—”
Mother shook her head, cutting me off, and patted my knee again. “I explained to everyone there that you had to take care of rumors of a rogue pack at the edge of the territory. Don’t worry. No one ever thinks to check the garden for you, do they?” she winked.
My mother was the one person it was impossible not to blush in front of. I sighed and tipped my head back, staring at the foggy morning sky.
“We should talk about your upcoming wedding.”
I nodded, having known this was coming. There would be a few weeks of planning. And then, although last night was informal, Sophia would be my mate for life. Until one of us or the other petered off.
“You’ll be reaching out to her mother, I assume?” I asked, voice stiff.
“Well not quite yet. I want to make sure we have the foundation planned at least. Although Sophia already seems to have a few ideas of her own.” She glanced at me with a raised brow, and I held my hands up.
“I’ve barely talked to the woman,” I insisted. “Any idea she’s gotten has not been from me. Trust me.”
We were on the edge of autumn now and the cool breeze made me shiver.
I’d have to ask Charles to have the staff get my cold weather clothing ready soon.
Probably have a somewhat warmer suit made if Sophia wanted to get married outdoors, which she almost definitely did, being from one of the more traditional packs.
My mother was eyeing me with a calculating gaze.
“So you haven’t sampled the milk before buying the cow?” she asked, and I almost choked in shock. Even her laughter was graceful, and her hand gripped my knee as she rocked back on the bench. “Oh, don’t look so shocked, Gabe. I was young once, you know.”
Face twisting in distaste, I held her small hand in my own.
“No. As you so delicately put it, I have not… sampled the milk.”
She hummed, fingering the hydrangea blossoms that were within reach. “That seems out of character for you, my son.”
“Well, I couldn’t keep it up for my entire life, could I?” I asked. And then the guilt, which I felt occasionally but had never spoken of, rose to the surface. “I’m sorry I’ve put you through so much, running around these last few years.”
The apology poured out of me before I could stop it.
Did this have something to do with how open I’d been with Valarie earlier? She’d pried me open and now I couldn’t seem to get myself back together.
Mother shook her head, frowning. “I’m not impressed that you didn’t sleep with her, Gabriel. I’m more impressed that you’re finally admitting that isn’t who you are.”
I stared at her.
As soon as she said it, I knew it to be true.
I’d been running circles around the females in the pack, but…
I didn’t know why. It had never been a conscious decision.
Only a sort of distraction from the things around me I couldn’t bear—losing my father, and then being confined to the Kingdom.
Knowing that my future was already set in stone to some extent.
Knowing I wouldn’t really have a choice in anything, not even in a mate, really, if I was given such a swallow pool to choose from.
Mother sighed and stood, taking my hand. We strolled slowly along the path toward the less used part of the gardens. The area I’d taken Valarie.
“You know, your father wasn’t too keen on mating either,” she said, eyes on the ground before us. She was wearing low heels, but the path was irregular enough that she needed to focus on balancing.
“When I met him on the first day of the Hunt, he looked scared out of his mind.” She looked up, a small smile on her face, and I kept as quiet as possible. She’d never really talked about that day before.
“To be honest, I’d been planning the Hunt for a long time.
My parents started preparing me when I was a child, and I knew I had a good shot at it as soon as I arrived here.
” She glanced at me, face serious. “But I wasn’t expecting the additional challenge of having to convince my potential mate to stay on. ”
“Wait… do you mean… father didn’t want to be an Alpha?” I said it quietly in case anyone else was nearby.
By now, we had reached the old oak tree, and my mother wandered around the trunk, rubbing her fingers against the rough bark.
She shook her head.
“I knew he didn’t the second I saw him. But your grandparents were natural born leaders, and after your uncle died, your father was the only choice for someone from the Alpha pack to take their place.
The last thing they wanted was months and months of the other packs fighting for an Alpha to take the family’s place. ”
“So, what happened?” I asked, perching against a small stone fountain. An annoyed bird splashed in the water before taking off.
“Well, I found a way to get him alone.” Mother grinned at the horror on my face. “Oh, no. Your father was nothing like that. You two have that in common, you know. You don’t think I figured out after all these years that it’s a show?”
I don’t know how she could have—I had just realized that I’d been putting on a show!
“I found him out in the forest one day and we had a long, long talk. He didn’t want to disappoint his parents.
And he knew that showing any weakness, or stepping down, would result in months of disagreement between the packs.
At that time, our economy wasn’t as secure as it is now.
The wrong words, a few insults, would have broken the territories apart entirely.
So, he agreed to stay and let me rule by his side. ”
I stared at her, feeling like I was seeing her—the real her—for the first time. The years peeled away and there she was, a cunning woman from the Blue Pack who had gained her place as an Alpha with charm and logic.
“So, you… you were the one in charge the whole time?”
She nodded.
“Your grandparents caught on quickly, but they knew better than to say anything. Being an Alpha has always come naturally to me, Gabriel. It’s in my blood.
” She frowned as she said it, gazing intently at me.
“Perhaps not in yours so much. But I came to find you to let you know that you find yourself, today, in a similar position to that of your father. I helped him then, and I need you to know that I can help you now. But you need to be honest with yourself and with me.”
“I will,” I promised automatically, the rush of the oak tree’s leaves almost drowning out my words.