Chapter 17 - Rissa
The Snehvolk Pack’s monthly bonfire party to celebrate the full moon isn’t something I usually attend.
I recognize my hesitance to be here in the way my fingers tremble as I reach for a disposable cup. Hiding my trepidation by plastering a smile on my face, I turn to my friend, who has her starstruck eyes fixed on her mate as he stands with the group of alphas and betas across the bonfire.
“How are things going with you and Dawson?” I ask Yvonne with a playful nudge on her arm. “Is baby number two on the way?”
Yvonne giggles when she’s able to tear her gaze away and sees me wiggling my brows. She shakes her head. “Dawson and I have decided not to have another child for now. Gio just turned six, and he’s a handful. But…” Yvonne slurps her drink through her straw. “You know how insatiable wolf men are.”
When Yvonne wiggles her brows this time, it’s me who becomes shy, turning my face away bashfully.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say nonchalantly, which earns me a prod to my shoulder.
“Oh, come on, Riss!” Yvonne chimes. “You’re living in the alpha’s house. You must be getting no sleep at all.”
“It isn’t like that,” I grimace. “Brooks and I are just friends. We’re only doing this for the sake of the council.”
“So you’re saying you two haven’t had sex yet?” Yvonne asks bluntly, and I gasp in horror.
“Yvonne!” I exclaim, and she chuckles.
“So, you did have sex,” she says as she nods thoughtfully. “But neither of you is ready to admit your feelings for each other. I get it.”
I sigh as I follow Yvonne’s gaze to the Alphas, watching Brooks sip on his drink and laugh at something Dawson said. I guess I’m still finding my footing with being a witch in the pack, and I haven’t really considered if I feel anything for Brooks now that the resentment has slowly subsided.
I mean, there’s still a part of me that hates him for what he did in the past, and it’s not like he’s acknowledged it or apologized for what he did. Now that the Elders have forced us to be together, what choice do we have?
Brooks did say that he wouldn’t go against what the Elders have instructed, so there’s no point in fighting the mate bond. We’ll just continue as we are, and at least we’re amicable about it now.
“I don’t have feelings for Brooks,” I tell Yvonne, who turns to roll her eyes at me.
“Who are you kidding, Rissa?” she scoffs. “The Moon Goddess gives us a fated mate because we’re bound to develop feelings for them, whether we like it or not.”
I open my mouth to dismiss the claim that Brooks and I are fated mates, but snap it shut when Yvonne is called away by her mate, Alpha Dawson.
Wallowing in my irritation, I try not to give her claim much thought.
Fated mates?
Is that why we knotted when we had sex?
Is that why it’s impossible to stay away from him even when I couldn’t stand him?
And is that the reason why I’d been able to unlock my magical powers?
I shiver as I turn back to the table to get a refill of punch, wondering why, if Brooks is my fated mate, I haven’t felt it yet.
Because most of the rituals for tonight’s gathering have already been completed—like paying tribute to the Moon Goddess with a prayer circle around the fire, along with the main alpha’s speech to thank the Snehvolk Pack members for attending—all that’s left is the ceremonial dance of the unmated wolves around the bonfire.
It’s a customary practice for Snehvolk as a way for the single wolves to find their mates within the pack. It’s also the reason why I always avoided this scene, sticking to my cottage on the other side of the village.
Because of Brooks’s insistence, I’m here tonight, but I still feel highly out of place when the single wolves disperse from their groups, knowing that soon, Alpha Elias will announce that it’s time for the dance.
I might be meant to be Brooks’s mate, but I have never felt more alone, especially when a particular she-wolf comes sauntering toward me.
Groaning, I muster up the courage and wit it takes to deal with Laura. Brooks and I already figured out that she and Emily set out to break me that day at the clinic, so I know she’s up to no good when she comes around.
“Laura.” I acknowledge her arrival with a curt nod even before she greets me.
“Ah, Rissa,” she chimes in a sickly-sweet tone. “Nice to see you around for a change.”
The blonde she-wolf’s presence brings about memories of the past—memories I’d buried deeply, when I figured that she was never truly a friend.
I know that she doesn’t mean what she just said, and I decide to take everything else she says with a grain of salt, so it doesn’t disturb my peace.
“I have to be,” I say boldly, holding my chin up high. “I am Alpha Brooks’s mate now.”
“Really?!” Laura chuckles sardonically as cocks her head to one side. “I don’t remember him announcing it to the pack.” She shrugs coolly. “I’m guessing that’s why I’ll be dancing with him tonight.”
I stifle the urge to roll my eyes at Laura, instead plastering a smile on my face. If there’s one thing I’m certain of, it’s that Alpha Brooks won’t be dancing with Laura tonight.
The Elders are present for the gathering, and he can’t do anything that will jeopardize our mate bond in their eyes.
“You must be mistaken, Laura, but—”
Just as I’m about to tell Laura that Brooks has already assured me that nothing is going on between them, Brooks appears, slipping his arm across my back.
“Hey,” he greets with a warm smile. “I hope I wasn’t keeping you too long.”
He keeps his eyes pinned to mine as if deliberately ignoring Laura. But of course, the she-wolf can’t handle anyone ignoring her existence, and clears her throat to get his attention.
The smile is instantly wiped off his face, his silver-gray eyes turning razor-sharp, and he glares at Laura.
“I thought I told you not to come anywhere near me,” he reminds her with a measuredly raised brow.
“I was having a chat with Rissa,” she defends, and I can feel Brooks getting tense beside me.
“Rissa is my mate, and that means she’s an extension of me.
I don’t want you anywhere near her. In fact…
” Brooks removes his arm from around my shoulders and takes my hand instead, then steps past Laura.
Just as Alpha Elias is about to take the mic to announce the start of the dance, Brooks whistles out and calls his attention, simultaneously spreading silence over the meadow with the sound as everyone turns to him.
My heart pounds in my chest as Brooks nods to encourage me to follow him hand in hand toward Alpha Elias. I can feel everyone’s eyes on me, and I keep my frown on Brooks to keep my legs steady.
What is he doing?
My frown deepens as Brooks takes the mic from Elias’s hand smoothly, as if this were rehearsed. He turns to me, still holding my hand for everyone to see, his eyes finding mine and holding them with a sincerity I’ve never seen before.
“To everyone gathered here tonight, I would like to make an announcement,” he says, squeezing my hand with reassurance while he stares into my eyes and addresses the pack. “Rissa Rudolph is my mate.”
He pauses for a deliberate moment as if to let it sink in, not removing his eyes from mine. Between the silver-gray pools, I see a flash of earnestness soften his eyes as he continues.
“Rissa is the purest soul I’ve met, and it’s an honor to be her mate.
She has a heart of gold that perhaps I don’t even deserve, but I will do everything in my power to ensure that I earn the right to be called this fiercely strong, kind-hearted she-wolf’s mate.
” He turns to the gathering then, the bonfire’s crackling flames burning in his eyes when he says, “And that means that I will protect her against anyone who tries to do her harm, even if it’s with words.
I know I was guilty of this in the past when I bullied her, but I am a changed man.
I expect that change to echo through the rest of the pack.
Rissa Rudolph is my mate,” he repeats, “and nothing will change that.”
Shocked by his admission and boldness in owning up to his past mistakes, the round of applause that fills the meadow is faint in my ears, drowned out by the torrent of emotions that suddenly overwhelm me as memories of the past come crashing in.
I snatch my hand out of his grasp and spin on my heel.
My heart is pounding as quickly as my steps, taking me as far away from everyone as possible. I bolt for the closest building, which is the wooden, thatched-roof structure of the pack den, only covered in the moon’s light tonight.
I hurry over the front path and skip to the side, rounding the corner where I duck behind the wall and stick to the shadows. It’s only when I’m hidden from everyone’s prying eyes that I can breathe again, but my heart continues pounding.
It’s not like Brooks’s bullying was an isolated occurrence, and it happened so many times before graduation that I’d lost count. All those memories come crashing forward when he verbally ousted me because of my low standing in the pack’s hierarchy.
Why has he decided to change now?
I hug my arms across my chest, feeling the overwhelming past hanging on my shoulders. It’s too confusing, too mind-boggling to make sense of.
And now he’s gone on to announce our mate bond to the pack.
“Rissa…?” Brooks calls out from behind me, instantly lifting my defenses as I stand up ramrod straight and turn to face him.
“Why did you follow me?!” I yell out coldly. “I wanted to be left alone!”
“No,” Brooks declares firmly as he marches over with conviction. He doesn’t stop until he’s close enough to grip my shoulders and pin my back to the wall, staring into my eyes so fiercely that I have no choice but to stare back.
“Wh-what do you want?!” I bellow, my voice cracking over the lump forming in my throat.
“I want to apologize to you personally, Rissa. Will you just hear me out?”
“You expect me to just forget about how you treated me in the past, huh?!” I belt out, shocked that I’ve said the one thing that I’ve been holding back all this time. But I’m on a roll now, and it doesn’t matter if he knows how much he hurt me in the past, or that it affected me at all.
“You can’t erase the past, Brooks! I hated you for what you did back then! I hated you!”
Brooks’s eyes widen as his face pales with horror, appearing dejected and defeated as he releases my shoulders. He steps back, his shoulders slumped as he hangs his head.
“I know I can’t erase the past, Rissa,” he sighs apologetically.
“But…” He lifts his sullen eyes to mine.
“But I will do whatever it takes to make it up. I was wrong,” he admits as he tentatively reaches for my hands.
“I was an asshole for the way I treated you back then. I know it’s no excuse, but I only had my sights set on becoming the sub-alpha to please my parents. I—”
“Brooks—” I try stopping him, but he shakes his head.
“No, Rissa. You have to hear this.” He pauses with a deep breath.
“I wanted to come clean after the festival, when I had a chance to speak to you about all of this. But seeing Laura come at you again tonight made me realize that there was no point in waiting any longer.” Brooks takes a bold step forward, still staring down at my face when he continues, “Back when I was mean to you, I only did it because I felt a pull in my heart whenever I saw you.” Holding my hand tightly, he presses it to his chest. “Perhaps you haven’t felt it yet, but you are my fated mate.
I felt it back then, and I was in denial because I was stupid and immature and I—”
I press a finger to his lips to cut him off, focused on the sincerity in his eyes that speaks volumes beyond any of his words. He’s right—I haven’t fully felt our fated mate bond, but it’s only because I was blocking it all this time.
“You’re sorry for how you acted in the past?” I ask, my heart skipping a beat, the moment his eyes soften as he nods.
“Yes,” he whispers earnestly when I remove my finger from his lips. “I am truly sorry, Rissa. It will never happen again, and I want to make it up to you. Will you give me a chance?”
As my heart skips another beat, I nod slowly, realizing how sincere and genuine he is. It’s like this is all I wanted to hear from him, to forgive him and let go of the past, and also open myself up to the possibility that our mate bond was fated.
“I forgive you,” I sigh, instantly getting folded into his arms for a hug. Perhaps there were signs all along that we were destined to be mated, but as forgiveness opens my heart center, I feel his warmth more intensely than just his body heat.
It’s as if his protective instincts wrap around me, making me feel safe, while a little flicker of electric awareness courses through me as he holds me in his arms.
“Thank you, Rissa. I promise not to let you down,” he declares, and for the second time in my life, I believe him. I trust him.