13. Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Thirteen
EMILY
“Are you sure this is going to help me?”
“Of course.” Stephanie unfurls her yoga mat and urges me to do the same. “Harrison is a great teacher. Don’t get me wrong. But he’s all brawn and alpha. There’s no…” Her nose wrinkles as she searches for a word that won’t insult our future alpha. “You know what I mean. It’s all physical.”
I huff out a small laugh. I do know what she means.
Harrison’s smart. He’s strong. He is a good teacher.
But there was no mental preparation in his lessons.
I thought nothing of it when working with him because I had nothing to compare it to.
But when Stephanie approached me after my most recent failed shift and asked me about my meditation and visualization practices, I realized Harrison maybe doesn’t know everything.
Or maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m the failure. An embarrassment of a werewolf.
But I won’t know unless I try, and at this point, I’m willing to try anything. Stephanie may not be the future alpha, but she’s the top-ranked female warrior in Crescent Lake and one of the top five warriors in our entire pack.
If she says this will help, then I suppose I need to trust her.
I settle myself onto my yoga mat, mimicking Stephanie’s posture with my legs crossed, my spine elongated, and my palms resting on my knees. I’ve just closed my eyes and taken in a deep breath when the gym door slams against the wall.
“Sorry we’re late.” Harrison rushes into the room with Brad and Felix right behind him.
“What are they doing here?” I hiss at Stephanie through the mindlink.
“They’re going to meditate with us.”
“But—”
“They’re the future leaders of this pack. If they’re going to train the next generation of Crescent Lake, then they need to learn these techniques too.”
“Steph…” I pinch my lips together to silence my exasperated groan. “I don’t want him here.”
“Get a mat and sit down. We’re just about to start,” Stephanie instructs them, ignoring me.
I keep my gaze pinned forward, staring at absolutely nothing, as the guys get mats for themselves.
They shuffle around behind me, shoving each other and throwing out murmured verbal jabs while they set out their mats and get into position.
I don’t hear anything specific they say.
I’m too focused on not glancing behind myself.
I’ve avoided Harrison completely since my birthday, too ashamed of my failure—and my reaction to my failure—and too confused by all the conflicting emotions I feel towards him to face him again. But now he’s here, taking a seat right behind me, making it impossible for me to avoid him.
How like an alpha of him to impose his presence on me in such an obvious way.
I feel his gaze on me, heavy and intense, and I clench my teeth. How am I supposed to focus when he’s right there, staring at me and watching me?
“Close your eyes.” Stephanie begins her instructions before I can wallow too deeply in my frustrations. “Picture your wolf. Or lycan,” she adds, as if anticipating a certain future alpha may correct her.
I close my eyes like she says, attempting to picture my wolf. But I’ve never seen her. Not all of her, at least. I don’t know what she looks like.
“Visualize your animal counterpart somewhere calming. Somewhere safe.” Stephanie continues in a soft tone, her voice pitched lower than normal. “Allow your animal to enjoy their surroundings in whatever way they choose.”
Somewhere calming. Somewhere safe, I repeat in my mind. If only there were a place—
Before I can finish that thought, the image of Harrison wrapping me in his arms flashes through my mind. Warmth surrounds me as he embraces me, and with the warmth comes security and peace. Protection and home. Safety and love.
I shove those thoughts and that image away, cheeks flushing and heart pounding. Thank the Goddess that Harrison can’t see inside my mind. I’d die of embarrassment if he could.
I don’t think Harrison is what Stephanie meant by a calming, safe place.
The lakeshore materializes in front of me, with a bonfire blazing away beneath an orange, pink, and deep purple sunset. The heat of the flames warms me from the outside in. I bask in it, soaking it into my aching soul, hoping it will soothe my werewolf and coax her out of her hiding place.
“Ouch!”
I want to be annoyed by Harrison’s sharp yell interrupting me, but I can’t help it. I peek behind me just in time to catch Brad tugging his hand away from Harrison’s arm, where Brad has left a small puncture wound from his claw.
“Asshole!” Harrison growls at Brad, body coiled and ready to launch onto his yoga mat.
“Shhh.” Brad keeps his eyes closed as he covers his mouth with his finger to silence Harrison. “I’m visualizing.”
“Why don’t we see how well you can visualize with my foot up your—”
“Either shut up or get out!” Stephanie points towards the door. “I don’t care if you’re my future alpha. Right now, I’m in charge, and you will not disrespect me or my time.”
Harrison glares at Brad for a long moment, like he’s debating whether he wants to make good on his threat.
Then his eyes flick to me and he immediately softens.
I whip my attention back to Stephanie to avoid any eye contact with him, but not before I see a smile form on his face and notice the presence of his lycan swirling in his eyes.