16. Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Sixteen
EMILY
Today is a big day. An important day. Not only is it my first day back in Crescent Lake after being away for six months, but it’s also Harrison’s birthday.
His twenty-first birthday.
Today, he’s old enough to find his mate. His future luna. Once he finds her, once they’re mated and marked, he can take over as the alpha.
As excited as I am for him to take his rightful place as our leader, I’m hoping he doesn’t find his mate today. Or any day between now and December twenty-seventh.
Is that terrible of me to say?
The odds are slim that he’ll find her today. It’s rare for a male shifter to find their mate immediately on their twenty-first birthday. Usually, their mates are younger, and since both partners must be twenty-one for the bond to snap into place, they don’t find their mates on their birthday.
But who knows? Fate is unpredictable. It’s out of our hands and in Selene’s.
I’m still crossing my fingers that in six months, it’s me.
I make my way around the packhouse, clutching a birthday gift in one hand and smoothing the subtle wrinkles from my pink silk slip dress with the other.
My steps are slow as I take it all in, as if I’m arriving here for the first time instead of after an extended absence.
As I reacquaint myself and my wolf with the lands, a pair of blue eyes meets mine from near the garden entrance.
“Emily!” Stephanie smiles, then races across the grounds and wraps me in a hug. “I had no idea you were coming back today!”
“I didn’t tell anyone.”
Her eyes widen. “Anyone?”
“Only Alpha Michael, so he could make sure my room was ready and I’d have a ride back to the pack from the airport. But no one else.”
She smiles like a Cheshire cat. “Well, let’s go surprise everyone with the good news then!”
We link our arms together, and she leads me around the packhouse. She says surprise everyone, but I know she means one person specifically.
Harrison.
My departure from Crescent Lake was hasty and, if I’m honest, dramatic.
The complete embarrassment I felt after kissing him overwhelmed me.
I couldn’t bring myself to face him, not even to say goodbye.
Before my first shift, I’d already been accepted to a prestigious culinary program overseas, and after throwing myself at Harrison like that, the fear of seeing him again pushed me to accept the offer.
Which is why, less than a week after my birthday, while Harrison was being a gentleman and giving me space, I boarded a plane to France.
I spent three months there and then three months in Italy learning everything I could.
I did a lot of soul-searching while overseas.
A lot of reflecting. And I realized that no matter what I do or how hard I try, I can’t stop thinking about Harrison and how much my wolf and I want him.
Distance didn’t staunch it. Time didn’t diminish it.
The yearning stayed with me, and I spent more moments than I care to admit replaying that damn kiss.
Did he miss me as much as I missed him? Did that kiss plague his thoughts as much as it plagued mine?
As we pass between the packhouse and the garden, a warm breeze twirls around us, blowing Stephanie’s blonde strands towards my face. I inhale, breathing in the comforting aromas of home and my friend’s familiar scent, then frown.
“Stephanie. Brad’s scent is all over you.”
Her cheeks turn pinker than the peonies she tends every year. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”
I arch a brow. She studiously avoids eye contact, and that’s all the confirmation I need.
She couldn’t stay away from Brad. Just like I can’t stay away from Harrison.
I smile. “I want to know everything.”
She dips her chin, and now her blush is as red as a stop sign. But she’s saved from answering by a looming shadow crossing our path.
“Emily?”
My wolf perks up in my mind, and my fingers curl tighter around the handle of the gift bag in my fist. Both Stephanie and I stop in our tracks.
She glances up at the shadow’s owner, then squeezes my arm before releasing it. “I’ll catch up with you later.”
I don’t protest as she walks away. The old Emily would have. She’d have called after Stephanie, begging her to stay so she wouldn’t have to face Harrison alone.
But I’m not that Emily anymore—she’s gone. I left her behind in Italy before I flew home.
Home. Crescent Lake.
No. Him. He is home.
“You never said goodbye.”
I finally meet his gaze. His expression is unreadable, but his words say everything. He noticed. He noticed I was gone, and that I left without a word.
“I’m sorry.”
His jaw ticks. We stare at each other in silence, assessing. Waiting. I don’t know what he’s waiting for—maybe for me to make the first move. But I’m observing.
He’s alone with no mark on his neck, which means he didn’t find his mate. If he had, he wouldn’t let her out of his sight. They’d be fully marked and mated by now.
My wolf notices too. She straightens in my mind, her focus latching onto his unmarked neck while I check him out.
He’s taller. Stronger. More muscular. I can see it in his broad shoulders and the way his black T-shirt stretches across his pecs.
And he’s handsome. Devastatingly so. He always has been. I didn’t think it was possible for him to become more attractive, but Goddess. Those warm, intense brown eyes? His jawline? His mouth that I can still imagine kissing mine?
Six months doesn’t seem like much time when you see someone every day, but when you’re apart? So much can change.
Does he notice the changes in me?
“This is for you.” I thrust the gift towards him, desperate to say something—anything—to stop staring at him. To keep him from noticing that I am.
Harrison glances down at the bright pink gift bag, one brow quirking.
“It was the only color they had at the airport. I knew I’d be coming straight here after my flight, and I didn’t want to waste time stopping at a store, so I just—”
He grabs the bag, intentionally avoiding my fingers. Or at least, it seems intentional.
I’m probably overthinking it.
“Happy birthday.” I clasp my hands together, gripping them tightly so I don’t yank the gift back. “It’s kind of silly,” I blurt, “but I saw it and immediately thought of you, and—”
“Em.”
I snap my mouth shut. Goddess, I haven’t rambled like this in months. My palms sweat and my stomach gurgles, but I stay put. I promised myself I wouldn’t run away from him again, and I’m keeping that promise.
Harrison removes the gift from the tissue paper and studies it with a blank expression. His gaze catches first on the doll’s neon blue hair, then the matching blue gem in its belly button before finally lifting to me.
“It’s a troll.”
His lips twitch almost imperceptibly. “I know what it is. Stephanie used to collect them.”
“She still does.”
I’m not supposed to tell anyone that. Why did I tell Harrison?
His smile widens, mischief glinting in his eyes. “I’ll save that piece of information for later.”
Stephanie is going to kill me.
He glances back down at the troll, his amusement fading again. Goddess, what I wouldn’t give to know what he’s thinking right now. Does he like it? Is he happy I’m back? I know he noticed I left, but how did he feel about it?
“I got it because of the troll—”
“Under the bridge. I figured.” Another hint of a smile as he slips the doll back into the bag. “Have you eaten?”
“On my flight, yes.”
He frowns, and I don’t know what to make of that. Why would he be upset that I’ve eaten?
“Do you need to unpack?”
“Eventually.” I shrug. “There’s no rush.”
“I could help you,” he offers.
“Thank you, but no. I’m sure you want to get back to your party.”
“I don’t. Not anymore.”
“I…” I don’t know what to say to that.
What if I’m reading too much into the way he’s staring at me—into what he’s implying? I promised myself I wouldn’t run from him, but that doesn’t mean I plan to make a move. He may not even want me. Maybe he’s just being nice, the way he’s always been.
“Actually, I was planning to take a walk around the lake.” I meet his eyes and hold his serious gaze.
I may be braver now, bolder, but I’m still not bold enough to ask outright.
Please, Goddess, don’t let him be dense.
“I’ll go with you?” He says it like a question, but I know it’s not up for debate. He’s inviting himself.
Thank Selene for that. Now I don’t have to.
“Okay.” I smile as I pass him, brushing my shoulder against his arm.
His entire body tenses at the contact. I try not to read too much into that either.
I’m not running. I’m just not getting my hopes up.
Pack members wave and greet me as we head towards the forest, Harrison never more than a few steps away. He detours briefly to set his gift down, and while he does, I grab a blanket from the stack near the dock in case we find a good spot for stargazing.
“Did you want any cake?” Harrison asks when he catches up to me. “I can grab you a slice.”
“No, thank you.” My stomach is too knotted for cake. I’m about to be completely alone with him for the first time since I kissed him.
I wanted him to come with me, but that doesn’t make me any less nervous.
He takes the blanket from me, avoiding my touch again, and as we traipse through the forest in silence, he keeps a foot of distance between us.
Beneath the cover of the trees, my nerves quadruple. I clamp my mouth shut so I don’t say anything stupid. Or puke. The riot of butterflies in my stomach has me regretting the hearty meal I ate on the plane.
We reach the clearing where I shifted much faster than I expected. Neither of us said that’s where we were headed, but somehow it’s where we end up.
It’s pretty in the summer, filled with wildflowers and soft green grass that reaches my knees in places. I skim my palms over the tickling blades while Harrison spreads the blanket beneath the stars.
The air is fraught with uncertainty, heavy and thick, like a fog floating above the lake on a chilly morning.
“Why’d you leave?” Harrison breaks the tension with his question.
“For culinary school. It was a once-in-a-lifetime chance. I—”
“No.” He grabs my arm, making me look at him. He’s closer than I realized. His chest brushes my shoulder with every ragged inhale. “Why’d you leave?”
Gone is the unreadable, guarded facade. In its place are worry, confusion, and hurt. Vulnerability. Feelings an alpha would never show anyone, yet he shows them to me without hesitation.
Feelings caused by me.
I hurt him. When I left the pack—when I left this clearing—I hurt him.
I hold his gaze, staying true to my promise not to run again. Not until I know where I stand with him. Not until I know whether he feels the same.
“Would you believe me if I said I wish I had stayed?”
Something akin to relief washes over him, relaxing his entire body. He exhales and rests his forehead against mine, his hand cupping my face with a tenderness he’s only ever given me.
“Yes,” he murmurs. “I’d believe you. Because I wish you’d stayed too.”