20. Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty
HARRISON
It’s five minutes to midnight. Not that I’m counting.
Okay, I’m totally counting.
We’ve kept ourselves occupied for most of the evening.
After fucking on the couch, we ordered room service, complete with chocolate-covered strawberries for dessert, which we fed each other between kisses.
Afterwards, I carried her into the bedroom, stripped her down, and made her come three times before finally thrusting inside her and taking my pleasure.
Now, Emily stands in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, staring out at the cityscape as snow drifts from the sky.
She’s dressed in my shirt, with only one button fastened right in the middle.
Her hair is tangled from me gripping and tugging it while she took me in her mouth and from how roughly I fucked her after dessert.
I recline against the pillows, naked under the bedsheet, so I’m ready when midnight hits.
I admire how she looks in my clothing, enjoying the view of her silhouette through the thin fabric.
In a few months, her belly will pop with my baby.
Her petite frame will look so adorable with a round pregnant stomach.
I can’t fucking wait.
Four minutes to midnight.
“Em.” I pat the top of my thigh. “ Come back. I want you in my arms when it’s your birthday,” I add, hoping it will be enough to get her to move from her spot by the window.
She takes a deep, steadying breath as she glances at me, studiously avoiding the clock on the nightstand.
Her steps are slow—precise—as she makes her way to the bed. My gaze lazily travels the length of her legs. I imagine them draped over my shoulders, my hands gliding up and down them as I pound into her before I sink my teeth into her neck.
Only three more minutes.
Emily crawls onto the bed and settles into my lap. Her heart races, and she clings to me with trembling limbs. She doesn’t voice her worry, but I don’t need words to know her fear.
What if we’re not mates?
I shove that thought away. There’s no way we’re not mates. She feels too good in my arms and against my body. Her scent is too intoxicating, drawing in both my lycan and me. My lycan is too fond of her, too protective of her.
We’re mates. I’m sure of it. We have to be.
Two minutes to midnight.
“Tell me when it’s time,” Emily whispers against my chest.
I tighten my arms around her. “You’ll know when it’s time. You’ll feel it. We both will.”
She squeezes her eyes shut and nods. “Right.”
One minute to midnight.
I rub her back in long, uninterrupted strokes. One hand after the other, following the same path down her spine. My heart rate mimics hers, and my stomach is a whirlpool of nerves and anxiety, even with my certainty. Her fear must be leaking into me.
I stare at the clock, watching the seconds tick down.
Five. Four. Three. Two. One…
Nothing happens. The clock flips over to midnight, and nothing changes. There’s no magical, overwhelming, magnetic scent flooding my senses. There are no earth-shattering, mind-blowing sparks emanating from all the places our skin meets.
Emily still smells exquisite. Her body still feels perfect in my arms. I still love her more than I could ever imagine loving someone. But none of it becomes bigger. Better. Brighter.
It’s all just the same.
My throat tightens with my disappointment. How could I be wrong? How could there be someone else out there more perfect for me than Emily?
There can’t be. It’s impossible. She is mine. I know she’s mine.
But what if she doesn’t want me? What if, when she realizes I’m not her mate, she decides I’m not enough?
“Is it time?” Emily’s hesitant voice pierces through my heart, adding to my sorrow and fear.
“No.”
My response is anything but convincing. My voice is tight. Wavering. Emotional. And she notices.
She lifts herself from my chest, and time moves in slow motion as she turns towards the clock.
“Oh.” The word leaves her lips on an exhale.
“Maybe the clock is wrong,” I suggest, even though I don’t believe the lie I try to tell us.
“I wanted it to be you. I was so sure. I—”
“Emily.” I put one finger over her lips.
“Before you say anything else… Just…” I search for the right words, lost in the foggy gray sadness of her eyes, a sadness I know is mirrored in mine.
“I don’t care that there’s no bond between us.
No—” I laugh, shaking my head, because that’s not true.
It’s not true at all. “See, that’s what’s wrong, right?
There is a bond between us. Something that’s more than the mate bond.
Something we built through literal blood, sweat, and tears.
We may not be fated mates, but so what? Fuck the mate bond.
Fuck Selene. Selene is wrong. She got it wrong.
Because there is no way there is anyone else out there who is more perfect for me than you. ”
Emily’s eyes fill with tears as I speak.
Not once does she try to interrupt me. She listens and waits.
And somehow that makes me more nervous. What is she thinking?
How is she feeling? What do those tears mean?
Are they tears of sadness because she knows this is goodbye?
Or tears of relief because she knows it doesn’t matter to me?
I hate that I can’t read her thoughts or sense her emotions.
“I choose you, Em. I choose this. Us. You and me, and our little one on the way. I want all of it, and I want it with you and only you. I want love, and a life where it’s us against the world.
I will give all of that to you and more.
But if you don’t…if you don’t want that, then I will walk away.
I will do what’s needed—what’s right—as the father of your baby, but I will not pressure you into any decision.
Ever.” A tear streams down my cheek, and while the alpha in me hates that I’m so vulnerable right now, the rest of me doesn’t care that she’s seeing this side of me.
The side I’ll only ever show to her. “I’m yours, Em. If you want me.”
I bare my throat to her. I offer myself to her, to choose or reject. I submit to her. Only her. Always her.
Time seems to slow again as I wait with my eyes shut.
I can’t bear to look at her or at the clock that betrayed us or at the stars twinkling in the night sky or the cursed moon that denied us our fate.
More tears join the first, and just when I think I can’t take the wait any longer, just when I think she’s choosing to leave me, Emily leans forward, her palms flat against my chest.
“I choose you too, Harrison.”
Before I can respond, she wraps her mouth around my throat and sinks her teeth into my neck.
The brief bite of pain is nothing compared to the overwhelming pleasure I feel as she marks me.
My dick hardens instantly. I grunt, leaning forward into her bite, and my hips thrust up against her.
She buries her canines deeper, and I grit my teeth as she lifts onto her knees, moves the sheet, positions her pussy over my dick, and sinks down onto it.
“Fuck, Emily.” My entire body is tense with pure euphoria, tense with the effort it takes to withhold my orgasm.
“Mine.” She growls the word into my mind as she slides up my dick and then slams her hips back down. “My mate. My alpha.”
“Yes.” I sigh the word. It’s no more than a hiss between my teeth. “I’m all yours, Em. Yours and only yours.”
My lycan roars his pleasure at her overt claiming of us. There’s no hesitation from her. None. She wants this—me—as much as I want her.
I take her hips in my hands as she pumps more of her venom into me to solidify her claim.
I help Emily move, lifting her high and then lowering her, thrusting my hips up into her pussy so my dick goes as deep as it can.
Harder and harder, faster and faster, until the momentum and force make her release me from her bite.
She arches, head thrown back and tits thrust forward as she removes my shirt from her body.
I dive for her breasts, kissing one, then the other, and back again.
I scrape my teeth along her sensitive nipples as I pull away, flicking the tips with my tongue.
Her hips roll enthusiastically, making her breasts bounce, and I lean back just enough to watch and enjoy how beautiful she is when she’s like this.
Free. Strong. Uninhibited. And all fucking mine.
“Look at you.” I palm one breast, squeezing it in time with her rolling hips, and my eyes drift down to where we’re joined.
“Look at us,” I groan. “So fucking perfect together. Made for each other.” My hand drifts down her abdomen to her clit as I lean forward to kiss her neck.
“You’re so beautiful,” I whisper against her skin.
“I love you, Emily. I love you so much.”
She clings to my shoulders as I suck on her neck, readying it for my bite.
My gums itch and my fangs descend, but I wait.
I wait as I trace little circles on her clit.
I wait as her nipples tease my chest, giving me as much pleasure as I’m giving them.
She rocks harder against me, hips moving faster, every movement growing more frantic as she climbs closer to ecstasy.
And when she’s right there, when she’s about to crest, I sink my teeth into her soft skin.
Light flashes behind my eyes. Emily shouts out her climax, sliding her body against mine in smooth strokes to lengthen her orgasm.
She moves through each wave, lost in an ocean of euphoria.
When she finally slows, she leans forward and sinks her teeth into my neck once more, deepening my mark.
I roar in ecstasy, releasing her neck. Before I fully yield to my orgasm, I flip our position so she’s beneath me, and I bite her again.
Harder this time. My tongue swirls over her mark as I pump my venom into her, and she pumps hers into me, both of us ensuring our marks last forever.
I slam into her repeatedly until my dick pulses and I finally succumb to the most intense, delicious, soul-shattering orgasm I’ve ever experienced.
Our movements slow until we’re both completely still. With each second that passes, I sense our bond forming, settling into place, and completing.
Tiny flares of pleasure spark along my skin.
Nothing as intense as I’ve heard about from those with fated mates, but there nonetheless.
I cling to each one, willing them to ignite into the explosive fireworks I’ve heard so much about.
But even though they don’t, love flows out of me and through me.
Pure, intense, undiluted love. I sense no other emotion from Emily, like I would if we were fated mates, but I don’t care.
If this bond—this minuscule but powerful bond—is all we ever have, it is more than enough for me.
Because we chose this. We created this on our own.
And I won’t let anyone take it away from me.
Ever.