Chapter 2
EVAN
I’m aching from head to toe when we return to the pack house.
I’m quick to take a much-needed shower. I don’t know how long I stand beneath the water, but it feels like a lifetime, especially when it starts to turn cold.
After getting dressed and heading downstairs, laughter echoes from the kitchen. I peek my head around the door to find Kayden and Kayleigh as he attempts to tickle her, and then retrieve something from her hand. Kayleigh scrunches up her nose, her freckles creasing against her porcelain skin.
Their laughter is nearly infectious, but it only adds to my loneliness.
Most people in this house have found their mate.
Even though I’m only twenty and some wolves don’t find their mates until a lot later in life, it’s hard to be around when everyone is loved up.
But the thought of actually being with someone is equally as terrifying.
How can I expect someone to love me when I don’t even love myself?
I sigh and turn away before running into Ava in the hallway. Aurora, their daughter, is on her hip, and now that she’s approaching two, she’s cuter than ever. Her dark brown hair is long enough to have two little pig tails at the back of her head, and she has the exact same blue eyes as Jaxon.
“Hey.” Ava offers me a quick smile. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I force a smile back.
Her dark brows pinch together as she studies my expression. “You sure?”
“Just sore after our training session,” I confess.
“Oh, you’ll get a good night's sleep tonight. And I know you’ll get the best out of being in Cyrus’s group.”
I hum quietly. “Hope so.”
Ava steps closer as my eyes lower. “Evan, I know something is wrong.”
I suck in a breath and meet her gaze. My fingers entwine as I tug at my knuckles, finding this conversation unnerving.
“Can you be honest with me about something?”
She tilts her head. “I’ll always be honest with you.”
“Will Jaxon kick me out of the pack if I don’t improve in training?”
“Evan—” she whispers. “No. Of course he won’t.”
My hand rolls over my forehead as a headache starts to brew. “Or is he only keeping me here because you’re asking him to?”
“You’re here because you saved my life and you’re my friend,” she states simply. “You’re everyone’s friend. I know Jaxon can be tough, but he’s not going to kick you out. We all see how hard you work.”
I scoff quietly. “Clearly not hard enough.”
“How are your sessions with Kayden going?”
My shoulders raise in a half shrug. “They’re going, but I’m nowhere near the level of the rest of the pack, and I don’t understand why. Do you think it’s got something to do with the fact I can’t heal?”
Ava blinks at me and sucks in a breath. “Maybe.”
I used to be able to heal, but ever since my brother nearly beat me to death, I haven’t been able to. A cut or a bruise would be gone within a few hours for most wolves, but mine stay for days, sometimes weeks.
It’s in our genetics to recover rapidly, but I’m too broken to fix.
“Hey,” she says softly. “We’ll work it out. And don’t worry about Jax. Leave him to me. Alright?”
I nod emotionlessly. “He’s not down here having words with me, so I guess that’s promising.”
“Oh, he’s in an important meeting right now.”
“What kind of meeting?”
Ava purses her lips, glancing over her shoulder. “You didn’t hear it from me, but an old friend of Jaxon’s is taking over Cole’s pack.”
I blink at her statement. Cole’s pack has become part of our family over the last few years, especially after we helped them settle in and secure a stable alliance.
“What?”
“Yeah. They’re upstairs right now. I wouldn’t disturb if I were you.”
I shake my head. “I wouldn't dream of it.”
“I need to go put Aurora down for her nap, but I’ll see you for dinner?”
“Sure.”
When I find the kitchen free of Kayleigh and Kayden, I grab a snack from the fridge and head upstairs. The second my feet touch the landing, there’s a dip in demeanour in my soul. It’s alien, unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.
The hairs on my arm stand, and my eyes widen as I take a large breath. My heart thrashes aggressively, almost like it’s not beating—just a violent hum.
The smell of thick gasoline and burning wood suffocates me. My lungs fill with the scent. A match could be lit, and I’m sure this whole place will go up in flames.
Then I’m hit with a wave of wild berries, the mixture sending my head sideways. My vision nearly goes, and I grab onto the banister to stabilise myself.
It feels like all I’ve ever known is that smell. My body begins to buzz, and my fingers tingle. I blink rapidly through my hazy sight, trying my hardest to see what’s going on. The sound of a door opens, and my eyes settle on the man in front of me.
The first thing I notice is how big he is.
Not just tall, but wide as hell. Made of pure muscle.
I tense as my eyes drag over his uncovered arms. Tattoos litter his beige skin right down to his fingers, and then I look up to find them dancing over the entirety of his neck.
His shoulders are broad and his biceps thick.
There is no doubt in my mind that he could squash me like a fly.
I’m trembling as I sheepishly glance higher.
His glowing green eyes land on mine as the air is knocked out of my lungs.
They’re vacant and uninviting—and in this moment, I can’t stop shaking.
He drags a hand over his dark hair that’s short at the sides but long and neatly swept back on the top, with a single piece hanging over his forehead.
Jaxon steps into the hallway next. He’s saying something, but I can’t hear him. All that’s accessible right now is my vision and my sense of smell.
The man peers over Jaxon’s shoulder and looks at me every few seconds.
His face is chiselled with sharp bone structure and a killer jawline, the kind most guys would die for.
Two titanium piercings sit on either side of his nose.
One is a stud, the other a small ring. He raises a hand to drag across his jaw, thick fingers showcasing an array of rings against his tattooed knuckles.
My eyes snag on the chain that hangs around his neck, and rests against his collarbones beneath his black shirt.
Everything about him is alluring, but in an incredibly dangerous way. The scent of gasoline is enough proof, but the look in his eyes…it’s dark and daunting, making me shudder.
My wolf claws at my insides, and I don’t want to believe what my body is telling me. But it’s right there in front of me.
Mate. Mate. Mate.
Jaxon glances over his shoulder, finding me standing at the other end of the hall. His brows furrow, and his spine straightens.
“You shouldn’t be here.” His voice booms across the space.
My legs try to move, but I’m stuck, unable to take my eyes off the huge man behind him.
“Go.”
“S-sorry,” I murmur before attempting to push back on my heels and hurry down the stairs on wobbly legs.
I rush through the kitchen, out the back door. The second I’m in contact with fresh air, I suck it down like there is no tomorrow. The taste of gasoline clogs my throat as images of his eyes flash in my mind. I blink over and over, but I cannot rid myself of that look.
My hands curl around the patio fence, and I bow my head, eyes closing as I try to regulate my breathing. I didn’t think I’d meet him like this, and I certainly didn’t think he would be twice my size.
There are waves of the bond, waves I don’t want to admit.
My wolf might be excited, but I am trembling in fear.