Chapter 10 Evan
EVAN
The second I find safety in my bathroom after reassuring the pack doctors I’m okay to be on my own for five minutes, I press my back against the door and lock it behind me.
It takes a few seconds to catch my breath before slipping beneath the water and washing my body thoroughly, trying to avoid the sore, tender parts of my skin that have been sizzled by the silver.
The memories of pain linger, but what dangles over my head is the sensation of Caleb’s touch, our bodies close to one another. My wolf craves it, knowing he took away my agony until I forgot I wasn’t healed.
I rest my forehead against the tiles and wish I didn’t feel this way.
For the first time since I can remember, I don’t reach for my metal box of rice in my drawer when I return from my shower. There is pride in my heart over what happened today, and my injuries are bad enough.
After throwing on an oversized hoodie and some tracksuit bottoms, I head downstairs to grab some food for my aching muscles and beaten body.
I’m startled to find Felix and Zara are still in the kitchen, meaning Caleb is most likely still upstairs. I slowly back away before bumping into Cyrus in the hallway.
“Evan,” he says as he takes in my injuries. “Well done for what you did today.”
I swallow back the lump in my throat. “Anyone would have done it.”
He shakes his head. “No, they wouldn’t. I’ve really seen a lot of improvement over the last few weeks, especially in our smaller group sessions. Well done. Rest up.”
“Uh, thanks,” I murmur as he places a hand on my shoulder before walking away.
I blink at the rush of satisfaction that filters through me. Ever since Cyrus said he had to report back to Jaxon about my progress, I was determined to come to training with a better mindset, and somehow it’s paying off.
After slipping into the living room, I find it empty. I glance out the window and watch as rain patters onto the glass.
I lower myself down on the ledge as my breath begins to create condensation on the window. I follow the little rain droplets with my eyes and listen to the calming sound.
“Are you not even going to thank me for saving you?”
My body jumps at the voice, and I hit my forehead against the glass. I raise my hand to rub the spot, but it’s nothing compared to everything else.
When I look up at Caleb, he quirks an eyebrow in my direction, crossing his arms over his broad chest, his expression as cold as ice.
“Thank you,” I say without any enthusiasm.
“You could say it like you mean it.”
I glare at him.
“It was a stupid choice to make. Why would you do something you knew you couldn’t get out of? You should have called for help.”
“Because she needed me in that second, and I wasn’t going to leave her.”
Caleb’s jaw crunches as I speak.
“The real question here is, why did you save me?” I ask as I stand and shove my hands into my hoodie pockets. “I could have been gone. Out of your life. So why didn’t you just leave me there?”
His eyes flare at me, but he doesn’t respond.
“Or was it because you wanted to do it yourself?” I bravely take one step forward until our chests almost touch.
He scans my face quickly as his tightened expression relaxes for a mere second. “I could never hurt you.” His fingers raise as if he’s about to touch my cheek, but retreats his hand quickly.
My heart pangs in my chest, a giddy sensation nearly knocking me sideways. It’s pathetic because a mate should never hurt you, and they should never have to tell you that.
“Why?” I scowl. “I’m sure you were ready to snap my neck a few weeks ago.”
Caleb lowers his eyes, as if looking at me offends him. “The bond,” he murmurs to the floor. “It would kill me.”
A laugh crawls up my throat, and I don’t stop it. “If I ever meet the Moon Goddess, I’ll remind her that she has no idea what she’s doing,” I hiss through my teeth. “I would rather die than be with someone like you.”
His eyes widen with emotion I don’t recognise. “That’s a little extreme.”
Another laugh bursts out of me despite the gaping hole burning in my chest. “I owe you nothing, Caleb. You made it abundantly clear that you want nothing to do with me. You tackled me to the ground. You treat me like crap. You pretend I barely exist.”
Caleb keeps his head down as a deep, strained sigh escapes him. One of his hands moves to rest on the window above my head, and my gaze flicks along his tattooed skin.
His scent is overbearing. Too close. In my bloodstream.
“You said you’d stay away from me, so why do you keep coming back? You’re making no sense,” I blubber in confusion.
He doesn’t raise his head. The question lingers in the air. And I want him to answer. I want to know why he can’t leave me be.
Reject him.
But my wolf cries in protest.
After what feels like an eternity, he glances up, and I’m met with his haunting eyes once more. My breath becomes caught in my throat, and I shudder at the way he looks at me.
“I told you, it’s the bond,” he rasps through gritted teeth.
I blink at his words. “Well, try harder. I-I’m doing just fine.”
He steps into me, forcing my back into the wall.
Caleb’s eyes are lit up, and I keep my head raised high. “I’d watch how you speak to me, pups.”
My nose wrinkles at him, and I ignore the close proximity. “As I said before, you’re not my Alpha. And never will be.”
His mouth opens to speak, but instead of hearing his voice, I hear Ava’s instead. “Everything okay in here?”
Caleb rips himself away from me within the blink of an eye as he turns around to face her. I’m catching up on my lost breaths. “Yeah,” he says gruffly. “Just making sure Evan is okay.”
Ava doesn’t look convinced as she flicks her eyes between us, and I pray she doesn’t figure it out. I want to keep it my secret. But I know how perceptive she is.
I watch as Caleb leaves the living room and Ava walks towards me. “Are you sure everything’s okay?”
“Yeah.” I force a fake smile.
“Was he bothering you?”
I shake my head.
Her brows crease. “You don’t need to lie to me, Evan. If he—”
“Nothing is happening, Ava,” I say bluntly. “I promise.”
“You seemed weirdly close,” she confesses. “Almost like…”
Oh, Goddess. Here we go.
My hands tremble as I clutch them tighter in my hoodie pockets.
After a few moments, she pulls back as she flicks her eyes over my face. “Wait…” she trails off. “Wait. Wait. Wait.”
“Ava,” I start to panic.
“Goddess,” she murmurs before pressing a hand to her lips.
No. No. No.
“Caleb,” she gasps, lowering her fingers. “He’s your mate. Isn’t he?”
I move so quickly that my wounds ache as I place a hand over her mouth. “Shh,” I hiss. “Don’t say it out loud.”
Ava pulls back an inch. “Fuck. I knew it.”
“You cannot say anything, Ava,” I plead. “Promise me you’re not going to say anything.”
She shakes her head. “I’m not going to tell anyone.”
“And that includes Jaxon,” I state.
“I promise I won’t tell him or anyone.” Her eyes glisten. “I can’t believe it. Has he been treating you right?”
I lower my head. “We’re not—”
“Not what?”
“It’s not going to work out.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s him, and I’m me.”
Ava scowls. “What does that mean?”
“We’re too different,” I land on.
“Well, he won’t be able to deny the matebond eventually.”
I sigh so deeply it hurts my lungs. “I want him to like me for me,” I whisper. “Not because of the matebond. I want it to be real, not forced. I promise you, Ava, it’s not going to work out. It’s not like he likes what he sees.”
“I wish you could see how we all see you. A young, handsome, brave man who has nothing but love and loyalty in his heart."
My throat turns dry.
“What you did today, what you did for me a few years ago, the way you’ve been able to carry on with your life regardless of what happened. You have come out the other side stronger than ever. You are wise and kind. You are an asset to us, and I wish you could see how incredible you truly are.”
Her words make my eyes burn, and I lower my head. They are words I’ve always wanted to hear and never experienced. Reminding me that maybe I’m not as weak as I think.
“You might not see it, but one day you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.”
A tear rolls down my cheek, and before I get the chance to wipe it away, Ava wraps me up in her arms. We share a long hug I’ve needed over the last few weeks.
She rubs my back soothingly before pulling away, but holding me at arm’s length. Her eyes meet mine again. “If he’s too stupid to realise you’d be the best thing in his life, then he’s losing out big time. You always have a family here with us, never forget that.”
“Glad someone believes in me,” I say half-heartedly, but it comes out broken.
“You’re like the little brother I never had.” She grins.
I breathe out a laugh. “Unconventionally, of course.”
She wraps an arm around my shoulder. “You hungry? I bet you’re hungry.”
Even though I’ve been hungry since earlier, I seem to have lost my appetite after my altercation with Caleb.