Chapter 13 Caleb
CALEB
Idon’t know what the hell came over me.
Evan’s words were soft and tender, something I haven’t experienced for a long fucking time, and for some foolish reason, I let the walls I’ve spent years building fall for a few seconds.
I had to push him away. It was only then that I realised how stupid and reckless I was being after my father had been literally at the house less than ten minutes before.
What was I thinking?
He could have come back.
He could have seen us together.
He could have—
I don’t latch onto the morbid thoughts for very long. I pushed him away because I had to, because I was being careless, and that’s not something an Alpha should do.
The second we stepped away from each other, it was like being thrown into the middle of the ocean. Evan’s face dropped, and I know I saw embarrassment clouding behind his eyes. The thought guts me, but I had to do it.
After a restless night's sleep, I head towards my office and get to work. There’s a knock at the door, and I glance up to find Carson standing in the doorway.
“Good morning, Alpha,” he says before bowing his head in my direction. “I wanted to check in on how you are after Ryker’s visit. What did he say?”
A sigh leaves my lips as I lean back in my chair. I’ve barely thought about the encounter when Evan continues to flash through my mind instead. “Nothing he doesn’t usually say. I’m expecting him to drop by whenever it suits him for the foreseeable future. It’s fine, Carson.”
“Anything I can help with today?”
I stare back at my head guard. “Make sure we send the perimeter reports to the district ambassador. I don’t want them sent late. We need to make a good impression.”
“Of course. I’ll get right on that.” He turns to leave and then pauses by the door. I study him as he glances over his shoulder at me. “Actually, Alpha, I had something to ask.”
“Go on.”
“It’s my son’s birthday today, and I was wondering if I could have the evening off to celebrate with my family,” he says hopefully. “I know it’s not convenient, but I can’t miss another birthday.”
I drag my tongue along my bottom lip. I could be an asshole and say no, considering our workload, but I know what it means for a parent to show up for their kid on their birthday. Best believe my father was absent for the majority—regardless of whether it was better that way.
“Take the afternoon, Carson,” I state. “We’ll start early tomorrow.”
His spine straightens in surprise. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”
When he leaves, I slump further into my chair and brace myself for a day of hard work, despite my mind wandering to things that are off-limits.
After grabbing my afternoon caffeine fix from the kitchen, I lean on the counter and take a moment for myself. The sound of footsteps pattering against the floor echoes in my ears as I glance towards the hall to find Carson, Esther, his wife, and Tyler, his son, all dressed up.
“Daddy, I’m so excited you’re coming.” Tyler claps his hands excitedly. “We have to get ice cream.”
Carson ruffles his son’s hair and grins. “You can get whatever you want, bud. It is your birthday, after all. It’s a special day.”
Tyler fist-pumps the air and hisses, “Yes!”
I push off the counter and stroll towards them as Esther’s eyes land on mine. She nods at me slowly. “Alpha, thank you for relieving Carson of his duties tonight.”
“Birthdays should be celebrated with family,” I say simply. “Happy birthday, Tyler. How old are you now? Five?”
“Five?” Tyler exclaims sassily. “I’m eight.”
I release a soft chuckle. “Oh, you’ve grown so quickly.”
“Dad said I’m going to be the tallest out of all of us.”
My mouth curls at his words as I glance at Carson. “I don’t doubt it with your parents' genes.”
“We’re going to be late,” Esther says as she checks her watch. “We'd better get going.”
Carson places his hand on his son’s shoulder, and I can see the gratitude in his eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Caleb.”
“Enjoy,” I say as I wave them off.
When I turn around, I hear laughter coming from the living room. I pause for a second, and allow my eyes to fall between the door and the wall. Felix and Zara are wrapped up together, both with the biggest grins on their faces.
A deep breath leaves me as Felix leans in to kiss his wife. I don’t know why I stand and watch, but I’m drawn to them and the love they have for one another.
Most wolves want what they have. It’s raw and real, and it’s never made me envious until now…because I know what I could have.
Flashbacks of Evan's body firmly between my bedroom wall and my chest appear in my mind without permission. The memory leaves my skin heating, his scent somehow coming back to me like a dream. Goddess, I’m barely hanging on by a thread.
My wolf claws at my insides to have him back in that close proximity again, and breathe him in until we’re both drowning in each other.
It’s stupid to have these thoughts when I’ve been so adamant to keep him at arm’s length. I cannot lose sight of what’s important, and in this case, it’s him.