Chapter 44
EVAN
The last few weeks have been somewhat of a blur.
Adjusting to living at Caleb’s pack house wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I’m welcomed with warm arms, given how close I’ve grown to his pack over the last few months of helping out and showing my face, yet it still feels strange.
I have a new therapist now, and when Nathan asked about medication, I decided to do some research before agreeing to try them out.
I’ve been keeping up my training sessions with Caleb, and taking part in other fitness activities to keep my body active and my mind distracted. But when he's busy, I keep productive by journaling, reading, or helping Zara out around the house.
I stare down at my seven letters and chew on my lip, as I look where to put my word on the Scrabble board.
“Any time today, Evan,” Zara huffs playfully.
I glance up and capture her dark eyes. “You can’t rush perfection.”
“I’m slowly deteriorating over here.”
“Okay, okay,” I say hastily before picking up my tiles and placing them on the board. “There.”
Zara blinks. “That’s not how you spell hijack.”
The corner of my lip twitches. “You can spell it hijack or highjack,” I say with a smile. “Google it.”
The second she reaches for her phone and taps on the screen, she lowers it and stares at me. “Smarty pants.”
“There you guys are.” I hear Caleb’s voice from behind us. “Hiding away in the library, huh?”
When I glance over my shoulder at him, I nod. “It’s quiet in here.”
Caleb strolls towards me before cupping my cheeks from behind and leaning down to press a kiss to my forehead. “How’s your day been?”
“Good,” I say sincerely. “Saw Nathan this morning, did the task he set, and convinced Zara to play me at Scrabble.”
Zara tuts. “I never win. Honestly, this boy has some serious brains.”
“I don’t doubt it.” Caleb grins.
When Zara glances at her watch, she nearly jumps out of the chair. “Shit. I’ve got to check on the oven.”
“Finish the game tomorrow?” I suggest.
“Yeah, definitely.”
Zara leaves Caleb and me alone in the library. “You've been with Felix and your guards?”
“Yeah. Just finalising our plans.”
My stomach churns like cement. “Will it happen soon?”
“Yes.”
I gulp. I’m a born worrier, and nothing is ever going to change that.
Caleb pulls out the chair beside me. “So I’ve been looking up online types of therapeutic activities to help with mindfulness.”
My brows raise in surprise. “Yeah?”
“Mm.” He nods as his eyes roam my face. “Come with me.”
I slide my hand into his as he takes me outside, into their territory. I glance around apprehensively. “Where are you taking me?”
“Just a little further.”
“What if people see us?”
“No one will come out this far. We’re okay for now. I made sure. Carson will tell me if anyone comes near.”
The second we step into the clearing, I’m stunned when I find two canvases on easels with different bottles of paint on the ground. I blink and stare up at Caleb.
“Art therapy.” He smiles. “Or rage art. Whatever you want to call it. Sometimes, it feels good to make a mess on a canvas and hope for the best. Chaos can sometimes be beautiful.”
“Caleb…” I trail off. “I don’t have an artistic bone in my body.”
He pokes his tongue into the corner of his mouth. “One day, you will.”
My eyes widen, and I shove him playfully. “I can’t believe you just said that.”
He chuckles. “It doesn’t matter. Art is subjective. If you wanna draw, draw. If you wanna paint, paint. If you want to splat the paint on the canvas, then I’m all for it.”
I shift between my feet hesitantly. “How do I splat the paint on the canvas?”
Caleb reaches down for the blue paint, pops off the lid, and swings it through the air as the paint strikes the canvas in a perfectly straight line. “Like that.”
“I wanna try,” I say eagerly.
He hands me the paint. “Knock yourself out.”
I stand back and inhale a deep breath before swiping my hand, and the paint flies, but it doesn’t look as good as Caleb’s.
“You don’t need to squeeze it,” he says as he stands back. “Just swipe as hard as you can.”
I try again, and this time, the paint lands in a perfect line across the canvas. My face lights up as I do it again and again before changing colours, and allowing my canvas to be well and truly wrecked without looking like a disaster.
Caleb was right, chaos can be beautiful.
I rummage through the other supplies he brought along, including toothbrushes and spray bottles. I experiment with nearly everything as my heart rattles in my chest at the excitement of something new.
After a while, I stand back and admire my work. Sure, it’s a mess, but it feels like my emotions are in front of me.
“I think I went a little crazy,” I say as I cup a hand over the back of my neck.
Caleb stands beside me as he analyses my work. “Nah, I think it’s perfect.”
I turn to look at him to find a paintbrush in his hand. “What did you do?”
“I’ll show you.”
As I walk over towards Caleb’s canvas, my eyes are nearly blown out of my head at the painting he’s done in less than an hour. It’s a rough painting of my face beside my wolf's face.
My mouth falls open in shock, and I can’t take my eyes off it. “How did you do that in an hour?”
Caleb shrugs. “I dunno. Once I started, I couldn’t stop.”
“I can’t get over how talented you are.”
I step forward to look at the detail, and how spot-on the colour of my eyes is. It’s almost terrifying yet endearing.
“Yours makes mine look like a toddler's painting.”
He cracks a soft smile. “Not true.”
My eyes roll playfully at his biased opinion. “Thank you,” I breathe out. “I-I needed something like this.”
“We can do it whenever you want.”
I step forward and lean up onto my toes to press a kiss to his lips. He captures the back of my head with his large hand and kisses me back. It’s soft, and sweet, and reminds me I am very much alive.
This is the kind of living I want to experience.
We pull away after a moment, and I stare down at the tattoos on his arms. My eyes light up as I meet his face again.
“What?” he tilts his head.
“Let me paint you.”
“Huh?”
“Your tattoos. I wanna paint your tattoos.”
Caleb whips his T-shirt off within seconds. My eyes flick over his broad chest and the swirls of black ink that cover his body. I shudder at the way his chest heaves and how stunning he is.
Carved from marble.
“Sit down,” I order him.
He smirks at my words and perches himself against the tree. I grab the bottles of paint and some brushes. I dunk one of the brushes in the purple paint and bring it up to his chest, where I start to drag the curve of the brush over his skin.
I lean forward to focus, trying my hardest not to let it seep into the lines of his ink. Caleb chuckles, and I glance up at him.
“What?”
“It tickles.”
“Don’t tell me you’re ticklish.” I grin.
“Only a little.”
I switch colours and start working on his stomach, watching as his abdominals ripple beneath my brush.
“You enjoying yourself, pups?”
“Very much,” I admit.
He places his hand on the back of my head gently and brushes through my curls. I can feel his stare on my face as I chew on my lip, and try my hardest to work around the swirls.
Before I know it, his entire chest is covered in different colours of paint. I laugh and climb into his lap, my legs straddling his as I start getting to work on his neck. Caleb flinches, but cannot stop the smile that graces his lips.
“Now that’s incredibly ticklish,” he murmurs as he grips my hips.
“Keep still. I’m creating art here.”
Caleb huffs out a breath. “Bossy.”
I roll my eyes playfully as I carefully paint around the leaves that litter his neck. After a few moments, I lean back and study my artwork.
“Maybe painting between lines is my forte,” I say with a big smile.
Caleb hums as he stares up at me. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
His fingers curl further into my hips, and I blink when I rock forward, feeling his cock against mine. He’s hard, and it’s electrifying. My breathing hitches in my throat as Caleb’s eyes start to dilate.
I rock against him once more, and a moan falls from his mouth. The next second, I abandon the paintbrush and hold onto his bare shoulders before grinding a little harder.
“Fuck, Evan,” he chokes out.
My breathing increases as he guides my mouth to his. His lips capture mine in a hot, desperate kiss that leaves me panting.
His chest presses against mine as the paint on his skin stains my T-shirt. But I couldn’t give a single fuck when my entire body feels like fire as I continue to grind down on his cock.
Everything around us starts to quieten, and time slows to the point I know nothing but him. The man who has helped guide me back to life. A life I didn’t know was worth sticking around for.
My cock starts to swell at the friction between us until I’m whimpering into his mouth, and he swallows each one with a kiss.
I remove my lips from his and kiss over his bare chest, where his skin isn’t painted. The moment I reach his nipples, I study the metal bars before leaning down and wrapping my lips around one.
My tongue moves the piercing as I suck on his nipple, leaving it hard and pointy.
“Fuck,” Caleb groans as I continue to rock my hips over his.
I peek my eyes up at him to find his gaze nearly black. “D-does that feel good?”
He bites down on his bottom lip with a grunt. “Yes,” he rasps. “Your mouth. Oh, Goddess. Your mouth.”
My lips curl into a smile as I lean over to take his other nipple into my mouth, sliding the bar side to side as it hardens against my tongue.
“Holy shit,” he moans. “Evan, fuck.”
We grind together over and over until my head is swimming with pleasure, but every time I get close to the edge, it dissolves. I whine in protest and pull away.
“What’s wrong?”
“I-I’m so close, but—”
“Your medication.”
I close my eyes and huff. “Yeah, it’s a side effect, and I get too in my head about it, and everything’s just really overwhelming.”
“It’s okay.”
My head shakes. “I still want you to come. It feels good. Let’s carry on.”
Caleb pauses. “You want to?”
“Please.” I bite down on my lip.
I need to feel normal. I need to feel in control.
My hips rock against his harder this time, and he groans as his head hits the bark of the tree. I kiss down the column of his unpainted throat and nip at the skin as he slides his hands under my T-shirt.
I shudder at the goosebumps that rise on my skin, and the trail of heat he leaves behind.
“Oh, Goddess,” he hisses. “That feels good.”
“I want you to come for me,” I whisper in his ear as I wrap my arms around his shoulders and ride my hips over him like there’s no tomorrow.
He grits his teeth and releases a low growl. “Fuck, pups.”
“I want it,” I gasp out when he raises his hips into mine. “Please. Give it to me.”
Caleb groans as he latches onto me, hooking a hand over my shoulder and holding me down as I grind through his orgasm. I watch his face as his mouth parts and his eyes nearly roll back.
A smile graces my lips as I listen to his pleasure. Our bond tightens, and I could cry at the blissful sensation that rockets through me. It might not be an orgasm, but it feels just as good. It’s intimacy, safety, and purpose.
“Goddess,” Caleb grunts as he holds onto me tightly. “Only you could make me come in my pants.”
I laugh softly as I pull away and cup his jaw. “Me next…when I’m not so in my head.”
Caleb’s eyes glimmer with arousal. “Oh, it’s on.”