Chapter 68 Evan
EVAN
“How are you feeling today, Evan?”
“Okay, I guess.”
My therapist raises his brows. “You guess? Would you like to elaborate?”
I exhale a silent sigh. “I’m taking longer to adjust than I thought.”
“Which is completely normal.”
“Is it?”
“Yes. You’re in a new environment, with new surroundings, and new faces. It’s okay if you haven’t fully adjusted yet.”
I chew on the inside of my lip.
“Did you have any activities planned for this afternoon?”
Fridays are our arts-and-crafts day, and even though it felt silly at first, it only made me think of Caleb when I came face-to-face with a canvas.
“I’m going to try rage art today.”
“Oh, sounds interesting.”
My lips curl. “It’s something my boyfriend showed me. I enjoyed it.”
“Well, that sounds promising. I can’t wait to see what you make. Have you been making notes in your journal?”
I brush my fingers against the book in my hand. “Yeah.”
“Do you want to tell me how you felt about writing in it this week?”
My lips part, and I take a breath. “Yeah, I do.”
I’ve splattered my canvas with as many different colours as I possibly can. It’s a mess, but a perfect mess.
I can’t help but smile as I stare back at it, memories of being with Caleb flashing through my mind. It gives me a moment of serenity and peace because even with everything going on, I remember being happy in that moment.
“Looking good, Evan,” Danielle, our activities coordinator, says.
“Definitely could look better, but I like it.”
“Does it represent anything?”
I stare back at the array of colours and the emotions it draws from me.
After a few moments, I nod. “Yeah, it represents what I want my life to look like. Bright, fun, and a little messy.”
“Messy?”
I release a small laugh. “Not a bad messy. More of a carefree kind of messy. Life isn’t going to be perfect, but I want to enjoy the ride, even if some moments are slightly chaotic or unexpected.”
Danielle beams at me. “I like that. I like that a lot.”
“Thanks.”
When she walks away, I find myself staring at the canvas again. I take a step forward and analyse it closely. It’s better than the first one I made with Caleb, and it’s something I want to take home to show him.
“Wanna see mine?”
I glance over at Jack, another patient I’ve grown close to, as he leans into my area. “Sure.”
“Ta-da,” he says as he holds out his hands.
My eyes widen as I study his artwork. “Wow,” I exhale. “It looks like a galaxy.”
“That’s what I was going for,” he says as he folds his arms over his chest. “Doesn’t space interest you? Knowing there could be other life forms out there. We could be such minuscule beings, yet we’re so hard on ourselves.”
I find myself agreeing. “You’re right, we are.”
“We should enjoy what we have before it’s too late. What’s yours about?”
Jack glances at my canvas, and it’s nothing compared to his—but at the end of the day, comparison is the thief of joy, and I refuse to do it anymore.
“Life,” I murmur.
“Deep.”
We both laugh.
“It reminds me of Caleb.”
Jack grins. “Oh, the infamous Caleb.”
“Shut up,” I say, unable to hide my smile.
“Are you excited to see him?”
My heart thumps. In more ways than I can express.
“Yes, but I’m not ready yet.”
“Soon.”
I nod once. “Soon.”