26 Meg
Meg
It’s not enough, my wolf howled.
I threw the dildo at the wall and used my fingers instead, finding my aching clit between my legs and slowly stroking it.
Roman coming into the cave, naked from the top down except for his uniform pants. His bare chest, smooth and…
Does he have a hairy chest?
Fur. He’s wearing a fur…
Where the heck is he getting the fur from?
Damn it. Something was wrong with me.
I shook out my wrist and tried again, making sure to focus. Roman’s stern face. The way he’d kissed me in the hall. The feel of his fingers threading into my hair. The way he tasted.
Heat flushed my body as my core clenched, and I pictured him coming into my cave and—
Ha. The metaphor.
I lost it again. Frustrated, I cried into my pillow as the orgasm I was chasing slipped through my literal fingers. Tears burned behind my eyes. Something was seriously broken inside of me.
I knew what it was, vaguely. Like an old wives’ tale passed down between females meant to scare you, but you didn’t believe could ever actually happen.
All female shifters went into heat once or twice a year, and it was tolerable for the most part. You could choose if you wanted to entertain company, or take care of yourself, like I preferred to do. Everything worked just as nature intended.
Unless, of course, you happened to meet your mate and your body wanted him to answer nature’s call.
I needed to talk to Trish, like immediately. She’d been able to handle her heat for years after meeting Jaxon, but it wasn’t until later that she found out he really was her mate like we’d always suspected.
My sister was stronger than she ever let any of us know. Thinking of her dampened my heat momentarily and I sat up straight.
Maybe that was the solution.
I could just ignore it. Then it’d go away.
That’s not going to work.
I need a distraction. I looked around the cave I’d claimed as my own.
We weren’t like some of the larger packs with communal huts for the unmated females. Out here, we still lived closer to the old ways, with enough caves that we each could have our own safe places.
This one used to be Alpha Kera’s before she mated Uncle Jareth.
I’d stumbled upon it when I was younger, just like my sisters found their own caves in these mountains.
We’d decorated them ourselves, dragging up bedding for nests and filling them with little trinkets that had gotten more advanced as we aged.
They were supposed to be our own little havens, but now it felt more like a tomb I was trapped in, wishing a certain man would come crashing into…
Focus. I groaned as another wave of heat washed over me. It would pass. It had to. I just couldn’t think of him or the way he kissed.
But it was so good.
My gaze snagged on my shelf of romance novels, which I would definitely not be reading if I had any chance of ignoring sexy thoughts. Though there was that one position in Mating Season I wanted to try. Roman could stand in for the MMC and I—
“I hate to interrupt, but is everything okay in here?” Alec’s voice was the cold splash of water I needed to stay in control.
I scrambled off the bed, feeling a little lightheaded as I stood.
“It’s been two days,” she said. “Do you need… something else?”
My bare feet slapped against the cold stone floor as I marched across the cave, feeling my heavy and aching boobs bounce with each step.
Females took care of each other when we were in heat, especially when we requested no males to be invited, but what I needed now was for everyone to leave me alone so I could get over this and get back to my goddess assigned role of selling my soul to save this pack.
“I’m fine,” I growled as I pushed back the fur flap on the cave entrance, wincing when the sun burned my retinas. “What time is it?”
“Time for you to eat something.” Alec placed a bowl in my hands.
The smell of charred beef had my mouth watering. I grunted as I blinked, looking up.
Alec wasn’t alone outside the cave. Aunt Coral was there. So was Alpha Kera and Mom. The four of them stared back at me, scarcely breathing.
I must’ve looked feral for them to be this concerned. I tried to smile, but it came off as more of a grimace. I’d missed them all so much, and should’ve been happy to see them, but my skin was crawling and my wolf was dangerously close to the surface.
I grunted again, hoping they would understand, and took my meat back into the cave.
*
You can end this. Go find Roman. My wolf panted.
I sat in the middle of the stone floor, holding the meat by the bone and gnawing on the charred flesh.
“I’ll go talk to her,” Mom said.
Or at least I thought it was Mom.
Sounds were getting harder to trust.
“Hey sweetie.” Mom pushed open the flap.
It was night now. When did that happen?
“Oh good, you’re eating,” she said.
I chewed faster, giving my mouth something to do so she could see it was busy.
Too busy to respond.
“You mind if I sit?” Mom took the chair by the bookshelf, scooting it closer.
My wolf growled and it was an effort to keep her reined in as I watched my mom nervously look around.
The last time she was here was years ago, back when we first started setting up our caves.
She’d worn that same tense smile she had now.
The not quite belonging, but still fiercely showing up, awkward grin.
“I missed you a lot,” Mom said.
Swallowing hard, I set down my bone.
Suddenly, I was five years old again and wanting nothing more than a soothing touch of Mom’s magic to ease the pain.
“I missed you too,” I choked out.
My voice was hoarse and raw.
Mom reached forward, then held herself back. “I don’t know much about heats, and I always hated that I didn’t know more, but even I know this isn’t normal. Especially not for you. It’s been almost three days.”
I blinked. Time was moving fast. Somewhere, out there, I knew that mattered. But I couldn’t quite bring myself to remember why.
Our mate’s out there, my wolf whined.
Oh, that’s right.
My mate that wouldn’t come. I had to stay strong. To ride this out alone.
I cringed when Mom’s knowing eyes met mine.
“Why haven’t you called on your mate?” she asked.
I blinked again, remembering that I hadn’t told them yet. “Shit. Does everyone know?”
“Language,” Mom scolded, but her heart wasn’t in it. “It’s obvious. Three days is too long unless your wolf needs your mate.”
Listen to her.
She doesn’t know everything.
“Who is it?” she asked, hope lighting up her face. “Is it… the man you’re going to marry?”
“Wouldn’t that have been too easy?” I laughed.
Mom looked at me like I’d officially lost it.
Maybe I had.
I shook my head. “It’s his best friend.”
“Oh… Shit,” Mom said, eyes widening.
I didn’t even have the energy to point out that she’d cussed. Alec would be so upset at the missed opportunity.
“Does he know? Do they know?” Mom had the appropriate response because it was exactly how I felt as she stood and started to pace.
“No, and you can’t tell him,” I said.
Why not? “Why not?” both my wolf and Mom asked at the same time.
“Because he won’t care,” I admitted.
“Is he the bodyguard?” Mom stopped pacing. “We should’ve known. He keeps coming up here.”
“Roman does?” I whispered, too afraid to ask that out loud.
“I thought the husband was sending him to check on you.” Mom sighed in relief. “Thank science, that one is so much hotter.”
“Mom!” I cried.
“What?” She shrugged. “I’m old and married, not blind.”
“But the wedding… The gods…” I sputtered.
“Do you think all of us haven’t been working to find another way?
Your sister has been in Amarock for weeks digging through the archives.
Your father even started trying to pray.
We’ve been in touch with the other Alphas and sending word to distant packs…
” Mom’s voice trailed off as she saw my face. “What?”
“It’s my job to save you,” I said. “I’m an alpha.”
Mom glanced at the entrance of the cave. “I know you and Kera have a special bond that I can’t understand where you’re still trying to prove that you’re good enough to lead a pack, but believe me when I say that even the best Alphas know when to accept help.”
“I won’t have a pack to lead if I don’t do this,” I tried to make her understand. “Morrigan swore that the gods would rain hell down on earth if they woke. And we’re running out of time.”
As if to prove my point, thunder cracked from somewhere in the distance.
Mom flinched. “Screw the gods. We’ll find another way. And I promise you, the world needs your skills. You will lead a pack one day if that’s what you’re meant to do.”
“Two cusswords in one night.” I smiled weakly. “It doesn’t matter, though. Roman doesn’t want me in the way I want him.”
“Humans are strange. We don’t get things as quickly as wolves do.” Mom’s eyes burned with intensity that could rival any beast. “But don’t doubt that we can figure it out.”
Her words seemed to echo in the cave long after she left, while I twisted and turned on my bed of furs, struggling to find any source of comfort to ease the blinding pain.
You can’t keep this up forever, I told her.
My beast just smiled. Nature always wins in the end.