Chapter 16 - Dawson
The three raps on the door have me fuming, begrudgingly lifting my head from the newspaper.
It’s not like I’m remotely interested in the news, but skimming through the latest sports updates was keeping me distracted so I wouldn’t have to think about the latest discovery.
I am a father.
I guess it hasn’t fully sunk in yet, and that’s why I’ve been avoiding going anywhere near my son.
Even thinking it sends surges of anger through me.
I can’t believe she kept him away from me. Even if her disappearance in the past was prompted by my rejection, fate led us back together, only for her to deceive me and withhold the truth.
A truth that could have been revealed the moment she set foot back on Girdwood soil.
Groaning my irritation when the knocking becomes the electronic ringing of the doorbell, I fling my newspaper to the side and angrily drag my feet toward the front door.
“Who is it?!” I grunt, irritated that no one heeded my firm instructions not to disturb me. I’d made it abundantly clear that I needed a few days off from pack duties, putting my beta Tomas on a tight schedule to ensure that all my work is complete.
I grab the handle and purposely pull the door open with force, losing my breath and every last ounce of patience I might have had when my eyes land on the omega outside.
Yvonne Lang.
The omega who deceived me.
“What do you want?” I grouch, not sparing her a second to diddle-daddle and waste my time.
She’s already wasted five years that I could have had with my son, and a few weeks more when she blasted a second chance into smithereens by choosing to lie to me about Gio’s paternity.
Even looking at her now is unbearable, preposterous, my gut churning and forcing me to look away while waiting for her response.
“I’m here to apologize, Alpha Dawson. I know that what I did—”
Lifting a brow and scoffing, I interject, “Is this another one of your lies? What are you hoping to gain, huh?”
Yvonne lifts her eyes and stares at me, dumbfounded. I know my reaction to her is strange, indifferent, even cold. But I’d only been good to her all this time while she was deceiving me.
What does she expect from me?
“Dawson, I—”
“Save it!” I bellow, lifting a dismissive hand in front of her face so I don’t have to see it.
I can’t bear the torture of those silver eyes that had lied to my face and told me that Gio was someone else’s son.
“I don’t care to hear your apology. It means nothing to me.
What you did is unforgivable, and now there’s only one thing you can do. ”
“What—”
Before she can speak to ask her question, I take a purposeful step forward, crossing my arms over my chest. I’d spent the last couple of days mulling over what I needed to do next and how to go forward now that I know I’m a father.
Everything else can be pushed aside. I no longer care about the inextinguishable heat between Yvonne and me. It’s since been defused when I learned of her deception, and there isn’t a flicker of awareness left to pass through me as I stand towering above her, glaring coldly into her eyes.
“You stripped me of five years of that boy’s life, and I want it back.
That’s the only way to make up for what you did,” I grumble as a growl of my fury grows within my chest. “I want to spend as much time as possible with Gio—with my son,” I correct, growing angrier the longer I look at Yvonne. “You owe me that much.”
Yvonne gulps, her eyes softening and weakening with fear. “Are you—” she pauses to take a deep breath. “Are you gonna tell him?”
I scoff derisively, rolling my eyes as I unfold my arms and scowl at her. What does she take me for?
“I may not have been involved for the first five years of my son’s life, but that’s not on me.
I am, however, not a simpleton who doesn’t know what it means to be a father,” I grate out venomously, noticing the way she flinches as if every word is a physical lashing.
“If that’s your only concern, I’ll have you know that I will not spring this information on him or scare him in any way.
He deserves better than that.” So do I, I add mentally, but don’t voice the pain of this thought.
As Yvonne nods slowly and hesitates as if she’s conflicted about whether to thank me or attempt to apologize again, I take a step back and shut the door in her face.
It’s only once the wooden rectangle separates us that I’m able to breathe, as if I’d been holding my breath. It was probably a subconscious thing, holding my breath so I wouldn’t smell her scent that might be disarming. I can’t let the primal desire for the omega blur my moral compass.
I have every reason to be unforgivingly angry with her.
All I can focus on now is forging a relationship with my son, and burying my feelings for Yvonne is the only way I’ll stay sane enough to do what’s right by my little boy.
As I drag my feet back to the couch, betrayal hangs like a dark cloud over my head, but I have to look to the future now.
***
If I thought I could make a quick leap into the future, I was wrong. The past always has a way of haunting a poor, desolate soul who’s been the victim of the biggest betrayal on earth.
The apparition responsible for the haunting is none other than Yvonne, who’s being dragged through the snow toward the blistering bonfire crackling behind the pack den.
I’d forgotten all about the monthly full moon prayer circle around the bonfire, and of course, it’s come just in time to remind me of how my son was conceived.
It was one of these bonfires that I’d skipped five years ago to look for Yvonne. I’d found her in the library, hiding from the rest of the pack with her head in a book. Who knew she’d be reading a book I enjoyed myself?
Who knew that a private dance would lead to the throes of passion?
I shake my head to get rid of those sinful thoughts, tearing my gaze from Yvonne as she’s led by Rissa out into the open. If I weren’t angry with her, I would have been glad that she has friends who care about her now, enough to drag her to the pack festivities dressed like she’s ready for a ball.
Who cares that she’s dressed in a silver frock that matches her eyes? Or that the dress whispers over her subtle curves and hangs low on her chest to make her appear enticing?
I certainly don’t, I think disdainfully as I sip on my drink, turning my attention back to Elias.
“We should begin with the fire circle,” he says as he nods to the sky. “The moon’s pretty bright tonight. We can enjoy the festivities after.”
Luna Aurora giggles beside him as she slides her arm through his. “You’re not enjoying any festivities out here,” she teases playfully. “You just wanna go back home so you can spend some time with Emile.”
Elias chuckles as he leans toward his mate. “That’s not true, my love. Our son will be fast asleep by the time we’re done.”
“As if he won’t sense you the moment you step into the house…”
My gut churns with bile rising to the top of my throat, forcing me to look away, feeling like I’m about to throw up at how sweet the head alpha and his mate are with each other.
There’s a part of me that wishes things were different between Yvonne and me, but it’s too late for that now. Five years too late, actually. There’s no going back from that.
There’s so much I missed.
His birth.
His first birthday.
His first steps.
His curiosity when he learned that he’s a werewolf.
All these thoughts, these regrets, fester inside me as I hear Yvonne’s voice as she joins Aurora.
I can’t stand it anymore.
Crushing the disposable cup in my fist, I chuck it into the trash can and head toward the bonfire where the fire circle dance will begin.
Thank Goddess I’m an alpha, and the four who make up the Snehvolk Alpha Council are at the head of the circle, far from the rest of the pack who gather around.
I’m safely between Thane and Brooks, where I’m not susceptible to any ordinary pack member taking my hand to be led around the bonfire.
I go through the motions robotically, stalking around the fire without lifting my head from fear that I might spot Yvonne. I don’t want to see her now. I don’t want to see her at all.
Yet, somehow, when we stop and the chanting of praises to the Moon Goddess ends and everyone disperses to mingle before the sacred dance between males and females takes place, a shiver prompts me to glance over my shoulder.
The first person I spot is Yvonne, hanging awkwardly by the bonfire when Elias and Aurora meet up, and Rissa is called away by one of the betas.
If I weren’t angry with her, I’d have gone over there and made her feel comfortable, welcomed in a pack that once shunned her. But with the way I’m feeling now, I just watch her with self-satisfaction, as if her discomfort is the punishment she deserves.
A younger wolf comes by with a tray of freshly poured drinks, and without looking, I grab a cup and chug down the punch. By the time I’m done, straightening my gaze while I crush the cup in a fist, Yvonne is no longer standing alone.
A dark-headed, tall male figure stands just beside her with his back turned to me. From the little I gather through my hazy awareness of my surroundings, I know that the blue shirt belongs to Thane.
What is he doing over there?
As if to answer my miseries, Yvonne has the audacity of smiling, her cheeks taking on a tinge of pink as if he said something funny.
A surge of red, unwarranted jealousy courses through me, pulsing my hands into fists at my sides as I begin marching forward toward her.
I’m not angry that she’s having a good time.
I’m angry because she’s smiling, and it’s not because of me.
My unexplainable envy has me seeing red as I stomp my feet against the snow, arriving behind Thane and clearing my throat to let them both know that I’m here.
“Be careful with this one, Thane,” I chide as I pat the sub-alpha on the shoulder. “She might think you’re coming on to her.”
Thane chuckles nervously as he turns to me with a frown. “Is that what you think is going on here?”
“I don’t know,” I shrug, crossing my arms. “Is that what’s happening?”
Thane takes a deep breath that leads him closer, and then he whispers in my ear, “Be careful with your jealousy, Dawson. You need to control your inner wolf, lest it ruin the party tonight.”
Patting my shoulder, Thane walks away just as I turn my brooding rage on Yvonne.
Though he’d warned me to control my inner wolf, it seems to have taken over as I rake my blood-red vision from Yvonne’s head to her toes, drinking up the sight of her delicious curves in that dress.
Bordering between anger and lust, I can barely think straight when the drummers begin the sacred music that beckons to our inner wolves.
Only the males with mates dance with their partners around the fire, or at least those they intend to take as mates. Without thinking, I reach out and grab Yvonne’s wrist, tugging her forward until she hits my chest, one hand pressing on the small of her back to keep her tightly in my embrace.
“Dawson?! What are you doing?!”