Chapter 14 - Harper
Go to him , I told myself. Join them. A family. You can be the family you always dreamed of making .
But I held back, wanting him to do what he wished: to be there for the triplets. I didn’t like it, but he was right. They were ours . And a part of me still wanted to claim them as my own, but the other part knew he hadn’t walked away from them deliberately. He hadn’t known.
There had been times during these past years when life had been exhausting, and I’d wished for their father to be at my side, helping me raise them. And now, watching him, a peace sort of settled in me, even if overall, I felt on-edge.
He had them calmed down in minutes. They began to snuggle into his side. I needed to tell them who he was, and I would, but for now, I was content to watch them all be together without intervening. I could hear him telling them a story—the story of a man who turned into a beast who protected the city.
“Is there a princess?” Hallie asked.
“Of course,” Alex answered. “The princess was beautiful. She had long hair that fell from her window, fluttering in the wind, waiting for the day she could leave the castle. The man wanted to marry her and take her from the city that made her so upset, and he knew that if he fought off every bad guy out there, then he might finally be worthy of the beautiful princess.” He smiled, embracing the triplets with his arms around them all.
“I think it would be good to turn into a beast,” Joseph sighed. “I could bite Hallie.”
“Hey!” Hallie snapped. “Mommy!”
Alex laughed. “Maybe one day you will, but don’t bite your sister, okay? But first, to be a beast, you have to save up all your strength so you get to have a good breakfast. Big beasts have big stomachs to feed. So how about we get you all to bed, hm?”
Joseph leaped up, already running for his bedroom upstairs. Hallie, never one to lose a race, dashed after him. Marie fumbled afterward, ever the follower. I laughed as they all raced upstairs, Alex following. I stayed downstairs, letting him have his space with his children.
He came down moments later, a smile lingering on his face. His cheeks were flushed, happiness radiating in his face. This was the Alex who gazed at stars and talked about the future with me. A man who would do anything to protect his children.
And you , I thought quietly.
He came down and sat on the sofa next to me.
“We’re not a family,” I told him. “Before you get any ideas.”
“No ideas here,” he said but couldn’t wipe his smile off his face. “Hallie has character.”
“She does,” I said.
“Joseph wants to be like the heroes he watches on TV?” he guessed.
“Whenever he sees me doing laundry he picks up the first big thing he sees and tries to wrap it around his shoulders and runs up and down the stairs.”
He nodded, grinning. “Yeah, I did that too, as a kid.”
“I never knew much about your childhood,” I told him.
He shrugged. “I had a good one. I really did grow up in Pittsburgh with my mom and dad. My dad was a shifter, the alpha of a massive pack, and my mom was Puerto Rican. He married her here in the States and she settled. They both raised me with their respective lifestyles. As a shifter, I learned pack dynamics and what it meant to be an alpha when I grew up, but also never forgot my mom’s history. She was heavily religious, which meant I understood when you sort of drowned in Haystock’s way of things. They taught me that I can always protect those I love, no matter what.”
I couldn’t help my laugh at that. “I can tell.”
“Speaking of… Other places,” he murmured, “Don’t think I haven’t noticed that suitcase in the corner with the triplets’ backpacks.”
Ah. That. I squirmed, shifting away from the attention he brought to the suitcase.
“Are you going somewhere?”
“I’m going to visit my parents,” I answered, swallowing. “I need to get away.”
“For how long?”
“I don’t know.” I met his eyes. “Indefinitely.”
“Funny,” he growled quietly. “How long , Harper? And why did you lie to me?”
“When?”
“I’m assuming this is what you left your work to come do, while I was distracted and wouldn’t be able to talk you out of it.”
“That’s right,” I answered, and I felt sort of smug at him, not expecting me to answer honestly. “I can’t stay here, Alex. I mean, what happens? You stay, and I let myself grow closer to you again, I let the kids know you, only to watch you leave again after your vacation? You told me once you couldn’t subject me to a life of waiting, but what happens after you leave Azure Cove and return to duty?”
“I can’t tell you that,” he answered. “But you can’t take them away from me now that I know who they are, Harper. I can’t lose them or you. Not again.”
“It stings, doesn’t it?” I asked, tears in my eyes. “To think of what you might lose? Well, at least you get a warning. I got nothing .”
I stood up, knowing I had to leave. I couldn’t stay. I’d given myself a weak moment before, sliding onto his lap, but that was only because seeing the lengths he had gone to in order to see me and the babies safe had softened something in me. But now I needed my resolve. Because I knew—I knew that if I stayed here, I would fall back into his allure, no matter how much I fought against it.
Alex snagged my wrist, pulling me to face him. “You’re running away.”
“Maybe I learned it from you.”
He shook his head. “No, I mean, you ran away from Haystock to here, and now you’re going back. You can’t just keep outrunning your own life, Harper.”
“What other choice do I have?” I cried out. “Alex, you won’t leave. You’re insisting on staying close to us, but it's not fair! How can you put us all through this again? You’ll have to leave them.”
“You’ve always known what my job was,” he told me, his voice quiet.
“I know, but—”
“You told me once you’d wait for me,” he said. “Why not now? We can be a family. Yes, I’d have to go away for work but I would always, always come back. I—Harper, the reasons I left last time—”
“No, Alex,” I whispered. “I don’t want to hear it. I can’t hear it. Because I have spent so many nights filling in the blanks. I don’t know if I would believe you even if I knew the truth, so save it. Not right now. Let me go. Let me leave and clear my head. Have your vacation, and I’ll return here when you’re gone. It was hell to lose you, and I can’t put my children through that, too. And if you cared for them, you wouldn’t be able to do it to them.”
“Do you want me?” he asked me softly. His hand held my face, and I didn’t push him away. “If you want me, then I’ll stay. I couldn’t stay in Haystock, but I could work something out here.”
My heart ached. My eyes stung with tears. I deeply wanted to believe in the beautiful ideas for a future that could come true, but I couldn’t trust that it would ever happen.
“Do you want me, Harper?” he asked again.