Chapter 20 - Harper
Memories flashed through Alex’s face, and the sight of them cleaved my heart in two. He had buried things so deeply inside himself, so intent on being the dutiful military man and an alpha, that he would protect me from them.
Even worse, when those memories were painful and involved me, I knew it would take him a while to tell me. But it was me . I deserved to know why he had done what he did. Why he had torn out my heart so painfully. Why I had never gotten a reason.
“Can I ask you something?” he asked.
I nodded.
“When I left… What happened with Diego?”
He spat the name. A name I was surprised he even mentioned. I had talked about him on and off during venting moments.
“Diego… As in my prom date in high school?”
Alex’s eyes were burning glares. “Yes.”
I bit my lip, uncomfortable. “Well… He really laid it on thick when you left. He tried to be everywhere, and when I kept turning him down, he infiltrated my mom’s good books, then. She always loved him and had him planned out as my perfect husband. The day after you left, he showed up to church with gashes down his face. My mom had taken him to the hospital to be patched up, and he’d really played it up.”
“I gave him those gashes,” Alex told me.
“What?”
“I shifted and sliced that bastard’s face open.”
Too late, we both realized that there were tiny ears listening. Hallie’s eyes lit up. “ Bastard ,” she echoed.
Instead of shouting at her, like my mom would have done—because I had always aimed to do the exact opposite of my mom’s parenting—I pulled Hallie onto my lap. “What do we do when we discover a word we shouldn’t really say?”
“We…” She looked around, thinking hard. “We go and tell it to Uncle Zeph!”
“Yes, exactly that,” Alex sniggered.
“No, no,” I said. “We wait until we’re older to decide how we want to express ourselves.”
“You certainly didn’t wait long to express yourself,” Alex muttered with a smirk, giving me a once-over. I tampered down the heated reaction.
“I was rebelling,” I told him. “I’m trying to raise our—my—ugh, our—children with good morals and choices so they don’t have to rebel.”
Hallie blinked at me.
“Our children,” Alex confirmed.
“Our children,” I echoed with a smile. Together, we both looked at them. Joseph was half asleep, snuggled into Alex’s side. After we had broken the news to them in a storybook fashion, they seemed to gravitate to Alex. Not instead of me but more asked about him. If he was checking in with the special ops team and missed breakfast, they didn’t want to start without him.
I kept finding Marie drawing wolves everywhere—she was pretty good for her age.
I was giving it a few years, guessing I would soon find notebooks all about shifter research.
That was another thing about my triplets… I had never told my parents who Alex was or about the DNA he had passed onto his children. One day, I’d have to, but for now, that was our family secret.
“What do you say we pack up and stretch our legs?” Alex asked. I nodded, following suit. Hallie immediately went to the blanket to start folding it up while Marie began collecting the trash. Joseph merely clung to his dad’s leg.
“I was thinking,” Alex said quietly to me, “I could shift for them. Show them my other form properly. What do you think?”
“I think it might be too soon for that,” I winced. “I want them to know both you and their own biology, but… Well, it might be best to wait until they understand better. I don’t want them going to kindergarten next year and announcing that their father becomes a wolf, especially if the kindergarten isn’t a shifter community.”
“Then let's enroll them in a place where there is a community.”
“Alex, do you know how many kindergartens there are surrounding the island? I don’t want to move, but we’re limited in choices.”
“Then we’ll home school them,” he said.
“With what time? I work, you’ll be away on missions…”
“We’ll hire someone.”
“It's not that simple,” I groaned. “And the future, Alex? Next year? You still haven’t given me any clear answers.”
He turned, cupping my face. “I know, but I will. Look, I'll always come back whenever I have to go on missions.”
“But what if you don’t? By choice or… Not .”
“It was never by choice,” he insisted. But what did that mean ? “I can ask for local missions. Shorter ones. Ones where I won’t be away for six months.”
“You can’t always control that,” I argued lightly as we walked away from the beach. Alex headed for the playground in town by the car rental place. I was reminded of the summer days of riding on his bike. “And what if you meet someone else?”
Alex snarled, and I cringed, gesturing at the babies in warning but they had already shot off, eyes on the slides and swings ahead.
“Harper,” he growled, “You know that there’s nobody else for me.”
“Do I?”
“Yes,” he snarled. “I’ve only ever not said that word out of respect for you. I’ve avoided it, but it's right there if you want to hear it.”
“Stop teasing me,” I mumbled.
“Harper, there’s nobody else for me. Especially with our children here. If you let me stay, I will always come back to you.”
The words were so beautiful, but all I could see were his actions. Why couldn’t I get past them? Why couldn’t I trust him when I yearned to?
He held my face in his hands. “I’ve given you no reason to trust me, I know. I can see it in your eyes. But please, just give me time; I can prove myself to you.”
***
When we returned to the cottage, I found Addie and the other shifters piled into my living room. I was immediately alarmed until I saw that they were all arguing over a climbing frame box.
“What’s going on here?”
Adalyn jerked around, her eyes wide. “Harper! You’re back early!”
“Is that… A climbing frame?”
“It's for the kids,” Frazer said. “We were hoping to have it assembled by the time you got back but…”
Hearing the climbing frame, the kids dashed forward but was quickly swooped up by Alex. “Not on the floor,” he said. “There are unsafe parts. Sofa only .” He deposited them on the sofa, where Hallie promptly began to climb on Frazer. Marie scrambled over to look at the instructions, cocking her head as if she would know how to start assembling the pieces. Still, getting to see men I had met years before, men who had repeatedly saved both my and the children’s lives, bonding with the triplets made me feel unexpectedly soft.
I thought I would have always had to do this alone, relying on Addie or Greta’s help, but otherwise being stubborn in my insistence that I wouldn’t get help otherwise.
But standing in the living room, watching this makeshift family that had found our way back together, I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed. Tears pricked my eyes, and I smiled, turning away. Knowing the triplets were taken care of, I headed upstairs to take a shower and clear my mind.
I showered quickly in the en suite connected to my bedroom, expecting to find Alex waiting for me when I came out, but my bedroom was empty. I could hear the voices from downstairs drifting up. Dressing quickly in shorts and a t-shirt, I lay back on my bed, spreading my arms as my hair began to air dry. Soon, the door opened.
“Knock,” I called as a warning.
“Why?” Alex grinned. “As if you wouldn’t let me in any way. I’m heading for a shower.”
“There’s a perfectly good other bathroom down the hall.”
He shrugged. “I don’t want to use that one,” he told me. His eyes tracked the length of my body. “Maybe I just wanted an excuse to see you again.” He shook his head slowly, appreciatively. “God, I’m like a man starved when it comes to you.”
I laughed, lifting one foot up onto the bed, and spreading my legs invitingly in the process. “Yeah?”
His eyes dropped to between my legs. “Yeah.”
He stalked over to me, falling down on top of me, braced on his hands. His hips pressed flush against mine.
“The guys are looking after the triplets,” he whispered, nipping my jawline. “I’d say Mom and Dad have some time to themselves.” I leaned up to kiss him but seconds before our mouths met, Alex pulled away with a dark laugh. “Not so easily, Harpie. Remember who’s in control here. You can wait for me.”
He undid the drawstring on his shorts, letting them fall to the floor.
Teasing prick , I thought, eyeing his body as he tugged his t-shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor. His length was still soft against his leg, and I ached to have my mouth on him, to join him in the shower, but Alex walked off, smirking at me.
“I’ll be back for you soon, querida . Take your panties off, keep the shorts on.”
As soon as he was gone, I did exactly as he asked. I slipped off my panties and shorts, tossing the panties to the floor and tugging only my shorts back on. I was already starting to get aroused with anticipation—likely his damn game—and by the time he emerged from his shower, water dripping down his chest and disappearing into the towel that hung low on his hips, I was aroused and ready.
His eyes fell to my parted legs. “There we go,” he whispered.
He stalked towards me. I was entirely his prey, and willingly so. His golden, tanned skin, the dark of trail hair that led towards his hidden length, was slowly hardening as he stalked towards me. All of it was on show for me—and I couldn’t look away. I ached for him already.
“I did as you asked,” I said in a sweet voice, batting my eyelashes prettily. I made sure my hair fell over my shoulder in a certain way he liked, while I kept myself on display for him. His eyes tracked over me as he knelt on the floor before the bed. We didn’t have a lot of time, and we were restricted with noise, but that didn’t stop Alex from kissing over where my clit was hidden beneath the material as his fingers rubbed into the wet spot. He smiled, kissing my thighs, licking down the length of each stretch mark. My stomach had them from my pregnancy—I’d gotten them everywhere and had always felt like they might make me less desirable, but Alex didn’t look once at me like that. He didn’t hesitate before he licked his way from mark to mark, decorating my skin with his bruises.
“I’ve wanted to taste you for so long,” he murmured. “My mate .”
“In name only,” I reminded him with a grin.
It was the wrong thing to say, even in jest. Alex’s body stilled, his shoulders going rigid. Then he was forcing my thighs wider apart, attaching his mouth to my pussy through the shorts with a snarl. With tongue and teeth, he devoured me.
“You’ll regret that,” he groaned into my heat. “I’ll claim you to no end, Harper.”
He flattened his tongue over my shorts, and the sensation of his hot tongue through the wet material, only made me more sensitive. I moaned quietly, sliding my fingers over Alex’s head, holding him there. His fingers dug into the inside of my thighs as he held me open. He licked and ate me thoroughly, as if he truly was a man starved. His eyes closed, and I admired his dark eyelashes, brushing his cheeks.
“Gorgeous,” he said, nipping at the inside of my thigh.
But how could he call me anything like when he was a god, his shoulders bare and glistening, powerful and muscled, hoisting my legs up. He looked up at me from between my legs, kissing up my thigh, to my knee, and back down, to do it to the other leg, before diving back to my heat. He moaned as he tugged me closer. I fought against the urge to close my eyes, wanting to watch him as he pleasured me. This could be my life, I thought. Alex, even if he was sent away for work. I would continue to live in Azure Cove and raise the triplets here, on the island. He could move here. We could be a family.
Family . What a dream.
Alex sucked my clit harshly, and I was pulled back under those desire-fueled waves with a muffled moan. He smirked at me, suckling there, until I began to gasp as my orgasm crested. My nails scraped his scalp, a warning, a plea.
“Don’t stop,” I whispered. “Oh God, Alex, never stop, never stop, never—”
I trailed off, babbling as he pushed his tongue back into my folds, feasting in desperation, as he pressed his face to between my legs as if he couldn’t get close enough. My climax crested with a heave of my chest, and Alex held my hips down as he ate me through it. He lapped at my soaking orgasm, licked my thighs clean, before pulling me back.
“Good girl,” he purred.
The smile he fixed me with was positively devilish. He dropped his towel, exposing the beautiful expanse of his hard body. His length curled against his stomach, and my mouth watered for it.
“Where do you want me, Harper?” he asked, grasping hold of his length and slowly jerking himself off. His eyes devoured me, lingering on my full breasts.
“In that pussy that I own, or that filthy mouth?” He crooked a smile. “It doesn’t matter, really. Either way, this day will end in my cock in your pussy. I’m claiming you tonight, Harper.”
“I didn’t say—”
“When will you stop being so stubborn?” His face was suddenly so close, his body draped over mine. His teeth scraped my jaw, moving down to my neck, where I would have a mating mark if I was a shifter. He snarled into that spot, as he had last night.
“In name only,” I gasped as his cock buried in me. I welcomed him, took him into my body, let him know he belonged there, nestled. Our hips slotted together, my legs coming up to wrap around his waist.
He stroked down the side of my thigh, cupping my ass.
“Stubborn girl,” he laughed, and bit that place on my neck as he began to fuck me. I gasped, somehow feeling like this time was different. Despite the other day being the first time we’d had sex in years, this time felt more feverish, more desperate. As if he couldn’t wait to claim my climax, and I couldn’t wait to have more of him.
Give me it all , I thought. Give me everything I’m too stubborn to ask for. Let me trust you again. Take me, claim me, and make sure that keeps you here this time.
I let him take my wrists again and pin my arms above my head. He smiled down at me, stroking his other hand down my face.
“I’ll recover from how beautiful you are,” he said, his eyes darkening as he mapped out every feature on my face. Glided fingertips across my brow bone, along the slope of my nose, dotted every freckle. He slowed down his thrusting, languidly now entering me in a steady rhythm that only brought me towards an orgasm slower, but I knew it would be more powerful. There was something charged between us. It was in my head, I knew. It was because of his words of mating and claiming. He had finally brought that topic to light after dancing around it for so long.
But now if Alex was a fire then I wanted to throw myself into it and burn everything sense of rationality down.
“I’m yours,” I found myself saying. “I’m yours, Alex.”
My eyes found his, and I could feel them widening, surprising us both.
And then the words came: words I had dreamed of saying for so many years.
“Claim me,” I whispered.
“Repeat it,” he demanded.
“Claim me, Alex,” I said in a louder voice.
Inside me, his cock jerked harshly. I tightened around him, pulling him closer into me, locking him in.
“Claim me,” I panted. “Make me yours. Claim me, and if you ever leave after that, then I will hunt—”
He shoved two fingers in my mouth. “Stop it with the threats, amorcita ,” he growled. “Don’t be foolish and make them. I’ll never be parted from you again, my mate .”
The word dripped indulgently from his lips, and he groaned, shuddering at the use of it. It triggered something in him, and Alex thrusted into me in short, rough thrusts. I was pushed further up the bed, utterly at his mercy, and I’d never have it any other way.
“Give me everything,” I mumbled when he pulled his fingers free, using them to toy with my clit. I gasped and jerked in oversensitivity. “Every dark thing you have ever thought of. Everything a mate gets, I want . Give me all of you, Alex.”
And he did. A low snarl escaped his throat, and he yanked my hips up as he braced his knees apart, allowing for harder thrusts. I clasped my hand over my hand over my mouth.
“Don’t hold back your moans,” he snarled. “I sent everyone to the villa. The cottage is empty.”
“You planned this,” I gasped, my breath hitching.
“Of course I did.”
Then he sealed his mouth over mine, and kissed my breath away. My eyes rolled in my head.
“ There, there, there ,” I breathed, losing myself to the fog clouding my mind. The fog that only thought about Alex—that could only focus on Alex and the thought of being rewarded with his orgasm and my own.
“Fuck, Harper,” he snarled. “You belong to me.”
“I belong to you,” I cried.
He smirked and pinched my clit. I screamed, and Alex swallowed every noise I made. His cock slid in and out of me without abandon.
“Alex,” I moaned, my second orgasm rising. I could tell his close. His groans got deeper. I pressed myself against him, holding him tightly.
“Fuck—Harper, I’m going—”
“I know,” I moaned.
“Come with me,” he demanded, looking at where our bodies met, where his length disappeared into me. He kept the pace up until I met his eyes, my own widened, as I felt my orgasm building inside me. Alex buried his face in my neck, sucking on the mark he had made earlier.
At the sting, I let out a scream as my orgasm crashed through me, triggering Alex’s climax as well. He came with a shout of my name, his hips stilling pressed up against mine. My orgasm shuddered, and I clung to Alex.
“My mate,” he snarled possessively, pressing me deeper into the sheets as he finished rolling his hips into me. It was a slow subsiding as we both came down. Alex stroked his thumb over the mark he’d made. His smile was softer than I expected, but I lay there, catching my breath.
Alex pulled me to his chest, holding.
I couldn’t bear to be parted from him for a second.
Mate .
The word spread through me in a warm glow. I wasn’t a shifter; it didn’t do to me what it did to Alex, but it was like I felt the weight all the same time.
But could I trust him? Could I trust that being his mate would be the very thing to keep him with me this time?
“Alex,” I whispered, “What did you think of by the park? What happened that night you left?”
Alex lifted his gaze to mine. Emotions flickered over his face: anguish, devastation, heartbreak.
“All you need to know is that I didn’t choose it.”
“But you keep telling me that,” I said. “I’m no closer to understanding. Alex, I’ll never stop questioning your trust if I don’t know why you left. What if I trigger whatever made you leave?”
“Because I didn’t leave due to anything you did.”
“But someone did?” I guessed.
His silence confirmed enough.
He sighed, and pulled me close.
And then he told me the whole story of Diego and his threats.