Chapter 14 - Willow
Snow whispers on my cheeks as I run, my breath misting in front of me like the smoke from the fire still clinging to me. I'm running from the world behind me that burns; Thane’s home, the one place I thought I might finally feel safe.
All because of me, flames devoured it in seconds, and now I'm running to escape what I can't face.
The image of the burning house won’t leave me. How the fire burst from my palms, the golden light flickering like the pulse of my heartbeat, and the look in Thane’s eyes when he realized what I’d done.
Horror, and something else…
Pity.
I can’t bear it.
So I run.
I don't deserve his pity—not when I'd witnessed the destruction I'm capable of, like the destruction in my nightmares.
His destruction, his demise, at my hands.
Branches tear at my shawl as I push through the trees, my bare feet crunching over snow that glows like a silver lake beneath the moon. The forest is silent except for my ragged breathing and the echo of his voice in my head.
“You won’t hurt me…”
He was wrong.
I glance down mid-run, sleeve slipping away from my wrist to expose my bracelet as it catches the moonlight.
My heart hammers harder now, the thin bracelet adorned with beads and a single yarrow petal reigniting my regret.
I made the bracelet for him years ago, when I was young and foolish enough to believe in forever.
Symbolically, I threw it away the night he rejected me, but I couldn't get rid of it.
I'd been clinging to it all those years away from Girdwood, like a prized possession of where my heart once lay.
This morning, I retrieved it from the bottom of my satchel, having shoved it in there when he bought my freedom and instructed me to pack.
I’d tied it on my wrist without thinking after what happened in that hut in the woods last night. Signifying hope, perhaps; for a stolen moment, I believed that a world in which I forgave Thane for the past existed, and we could move forward.
But the bracelet became a shackle when I fell asleep and reentered that nightmare that only proved that there is no future for us.
I'm bound to my resentment, my mistrust.
And most of all, I don't trust myself around him.
Now, here I am, running from him again, the weight of that tiny piece of memory, of hope, biting against my wrist.
A low growl rumbles through the trees behind me, and my heart alights with desperation to get away, my chest tightening. I would recognize that sound anywhere.
“Thane…” I whisper even as I keep running, knowing full well that I can't outrun him. I should have known that he'd chase me, should have known that there's no escaping him, no matter what I do.
My wolfless body can’t outrun him. He's faster, stronger, and when I hear the heavy thud of paws hitting snow, I know it’s only a matter of seconds before he finds me.
“Leave me alone!” I scream into the wind, but the forest swallows my trembling voice.
A flash of black moves between the trees, a blur of furry muscle and fury.
His wolf form bursts into view, dark fur rippling under the moonlight, eyes glowing with that impossible emerald.
He doesn’t attack, doesn’t pounce. He stands firm, careful, like a predator that knows it caught its prey and is sure of it.
“Don’t,” I whisper as I slow down, stumbling backward.
My heel catches a root, and I nearly fall back, but Thane shifts before my eyes, fur retracting, bones snapping into place until he stands in human form, swiftly catching me with one arm.
His body radiates heat in the freezing air surrounding the forest, steam rising from his skin, eyes green embers of relief.
“Willow…” he rasps, voice rough and heavy. “You have to stop running.”
I shake my head violently, pushing at his firm chest with tentative palms. “Stay back. I don't wanna hurt you.”
Thane shakes his head firmly as he grips my shoulders and keeps me steady on my feet, his eyes penetrating mine. “You're not gonna hurt me, and I’m not here to hurt you, either.”
The sincerity in his voice is a stark contrast to the hurtful words of the past, and something inside me snaps.
“You already did!” The words rip from me before I can stop them.
“You broke me once, Thane. Do you even remember what you said when I told you how I felt?! You told me I was mistaken!” My voice cracks, tears stinging the corners of my eyes.
“I left Snehvolk because of you, and now you've dragged me back here only to cause destruction!”
Thane flinches as if I struck him, but I can’t stop. It all comes tumbling out—my anger, grief, my fear.
“And now you look at me like you care, like you want to protect me. I can’t do this again. I can’t trust you. I can’t even trust myself!”
The silence between us is deafening, only the soft whisper of snow falling around us, landing in his dark hair, and melting against my lashes. He moves in instead of reeling from my words, slow and deliberate.
“You think I don’t know what I did to you?” he says quietly, voice shaking with restraint. “I remember every damn word I said. I live with it every day. I live with that regret.”
“Don’t,” I whisper, shrugging put of his touch with enough force to finally set me free, pressing a trembling hand to my chest. “Don’t try to make it right.
Don't try to fix it. You can’t.” One hand flies up to point in the direction of the curling smoke in Girdwood, where I set his house on fire. “The damage is already done!”
Thane sighs heavily, dropping his gaze in surrender as his shoulders droop. “Then tell me what you need from me, Willow. You’re running from something you don’t understand—”
“I understand enough!” I shout, my voice cracking with dread. “I saw it! You die because of me! I burn everything I love to ash!”
The confession slips out without thinking, and I gasp in shock. Thane stills, lifting eyes that are darkening, a muscle twitching in his jaw.
Gulping hard, I spin on my heel to give him my back. I can't look him in the eye now, not when I admitted something I've hardly admitted to myself.
“I can't trust you, because I know where this leads,” I whisper, my chest heaving as I reel from the shock. “We both know where this leads, and I can't have that.”
A long moment of silence stretches around us like a rubber band, and I'm afraid of what comes when he catapults back.
“You saw that in your dream?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.
A wave of relief sets in because his question isn't directed at the other part of my admission. But still, I can't answer. The lump in my throat is too thick, my breathing shallow.
He moves again, closing the distance before I can react.
His hands catch my arms, rough palms burning against my cold skin as he turns me around to face him, his eyes glowing like emerald beads.
“Then listen to me, Willow. Whatever you saw, we'll make sure it doesn't come true.
Together. I will stand by your side through it all, but you're gonna have to let me in.”
“I can't, Thane,” I whisper, my vision hazy with tears. “You don’t understand—”
“I don’t need to understand. But from what I gathered, you're afraid of going all the way with me. I get it.”
I shake my head slowly, but Thane continues, “I just need you to stop running from me. I'm not pressuring you into anything. We can just be friends. And friends are there for each other. The way I want to be there for you. Do you understand?”
My brows knit as I stare into his eyes, finding sincerity in his words. My heart skips a beat, and I'm suddenly aware of his touch and how it brings me comfort, ease.
When my eyes flit to his lips, my airways fill with the warmth of his breath, the mint and tobacco intoxicating me and buzzing my mind.
“Thane…” I whisper, and his dark eyes meet mine when I look up again.
“Willow…” he responds, and the silkiness of his voice is my undoing as I push myself forward, throwing caution to the wind and ignoring everything I've been fighting for when I meet his lips.
Before I can breathe, his mouth is rough, desperate on mine, tasting like smoke and something wilder, more feral when he groans. My first instinct is to fight it, but the moment his lips move against mine, the storm inside me dies.
My heartbeat slows, the trembling in my hands easing as his warmth consumes me, allowing me to slide my arms around his neck as I surrender my inhibitions and let him take the lead.
I hate how easily my body remembers him, how being molded to his hard frame feels like my body was created to fit in his arms. His hand slides to the back of my neck, steadying me, grounding me when I’ve forgotten what solid ground feels like.
The kiss isn't gentle, but it’s a clash of pain and apology, heat and heartbreak as his tongue devours my essence. When he finally breaks the kiss, both of us are panting, our foreheads pressed together in the cold night.
When I finally reclaim my senses and logic takes over again, I breathe, “Friends….”
Thane gulps hard as he concedes, “Friends.”
The sound of soft footsteps crunching through snow has us breaking apart just as three figures emerge from the trees.
Aurora, Rissa, and Yvonne approach us, their warm, inviting smiles glowing under the moonlight.
“Thane,” Luna Aurora calls softly, holding up a hand. “We'll take it from here.”
For a heartbeat, I think he’ll refuse. But then he exhales, jaw loosening as he releases me. I meet his eyes again, still wary about what all of this means, but then I find the sincerity in the emerald depths that eases my worries.
Rissa approaches first, voice as calm as falling snow. “It’s alright, Willow. You’re safe now.”
Safe.
The word almost feels like a lie, but I let her take my trembling hands in hers. Warmth flows from her touch, steady and sure, and I can’t stop the tears that fall from my eyes now.
“Come on, sweetheart,” she whispers. “Let’s get you back. You need to rest.”
I glance back again, meeting Thane’s eyes, finding something fierce in his gaze; a silent promise that he'll always be right there, where I need him, wherever I need him.
And now more than ever, I can only open my heart to friendship with him.
He nods once, an encouraging motion for me to trust the witches where I might not be able to trust him, or myself, for that matter.
Somehow, I believe him, so I let the witches lead me through the forest, back to the main village.
Their warm presences and welcoming smiles as they lead me back make me feel secure—something I haven't felt for the longest time.
The further we go, the quieter the world becomes, until the only thing I hear is the wind and the thundering beat of my own heart, the remnants of Thane's touch, his kiss staying with me like a warm hug.
“You can stay at my place tonight,” Aurora tells me as we head in the direction of her house, a gentle, reassuring hand on my arm.
I gulp and nod timidly, unable to meet the burnt-down house with my gaze as we pass by.
“Tomorrow, we'll show you how our powers work, and you can train your own,” Yvonne chirps excitedly, grinning from ear to ear.
Rissa giggles beside me. “Yvie's been anticipating this moment for a long time.”
When I look up with a hesitant frown, Aurora stops in front of me.
“We've been waiting for you, Willow. Now that you're here, we're all excited. You're home now.”
In Luna Aurora's radiant hazel eyes, I see the kind of warmth and sincerity I've been craving my whole life, and it touches my heart.
It's the same familiarity I saw in Thane's eyes tonight, and the only thing that's holding me back from believing it all is my own insecurities and those haunting nightmares I've been having.
For the first time in a long while, I’m not sure what’s more terrifying.
My power…
Or feeling like I might belong somewhere, because in an instant, I could lose it all, just like the house I set on fire.