18. Eudoxia
EUDOXIA
How did she get stuck with these dumbasses?
It’s something she asks herself on a daily basis.
“Zeno! This is the third wall you’ve led us into so far,” Alexander shouts, his body bending forward both from laughter and from the weight of Zeno on his back.
“I’m not doing it on purpose,” Zeno shrieks.
Today, they have decided that they need to know whether ‘Alexander would make a good horse’. Eudoxia’s not even sure how they came up with it. All she knows is that Zeno is currently clinging to Alexander’s back, trying to control him with his hair.
“Suuure. Just like you’re not ripping out my beautiful hair on purpose.”
“I’m not!”
“We all know you want my luscious locks for yourself, Mr. Crew Cut.”
Zeno gasps, and leans back in an attempt to tip them both over, which probably means it’s time for her to get involved.
She reaches out and stabilizes them. “You guys are the worst.”
“No, Alexander’s the worst. He’s a bad horse. I don’t know why we thought you’d be a good one.”
“Well, obviously because we assumed you’d be good at riding me,” Alexander says lewdly, thrusting his hips as best he can with a human-sized leech attached to him.
“Bold of you to assume you wouldn’t be riding me,” Zeno says, laughing.
“I go both ways, darlin’.”
Before Eudoxia can scoff, someone stalks over to them with too much speed to be a casual passerby. She’s a second too late to stop them grabbing the back of Zeno’s collar and yanking, sending Zeno and Alexander tumbling to the floor.
Before they can sputter at Eudoxia for toppling them, they notice Kleitos standing next to her.
“You guys are such screw-ups,” Kleitos snarks.
Alexander smiles up at him, way too big to be earnest.
“Yeah, we totally are,” he says sweetly. “Thanks for noticing.”
Kleitos opens his mouth to respond but then shakes his head violently and turns to Eudoxia and Zeno.
“You barely made it through the Trial, huh, Zeno?” he asks.
“You really think that’s going to get under my skin?”
“Not your skin. Your little fanboy’s over here,” Kleitos says, pointing to Eudoxia. Forms, she hates his stupid, too-long face and his beady eyes.
“We have plans,” Eudoxia says dismissively. She helps Zeno up, and the three of them continue to the sparring rooms.
“And what exactly would those be, huh?”
“None of your business,” she shoots back.
He tugs her away from the boys by the back of her shirt and shoves her up against the wall.
Zeno and Alexander jump to attention immediately, but they know not to fight her battles for her. As much as Kleitos loves to call Zeno her guard dog, he’s been beaten by her fists more times than Zeno has even spoken to him.
“I think I’ll make it my business.” Kleitos’ breath fans hot on her face and his overapplied cologne floods her nostrils.
“Will you, now?”
“Yes.”
“You really are obsessed with me, aren’t you?” she mocks, tilting her head to the side and leaning in close.
Kleitos huffs in frustration and throws her back up against the wall, slamming his hand by her head. “You are nothing.”
“Then why do I bother you so much?” she taunts, though she is actually curious.
Kleitos stares at her for a long moment, then backs off, scowling at her with all the intensity of a stray dog. “You don’t. I don’t care,” he finally says.
Then he storms off, and Alexander and Zeno replace him.
Alexander glares at Kleitos’ back, but his voice is light when he jokes, “Seems like someone has a little crush on you, huh?”
“I’m flattered, really,” she replies.
She and Alexander share a smile, but Zeno growls, “We need to find a way to shut him up or kick him out.”
Forms, does he sound mad.
And, Forms, does mad look good on him.
“So true,” Alexander responds. Then he looks down to check his ring, and when he sees the time, he smiles. “Um, I got to go, you guys.”
“I thought we were sparring?” Zeno asks.
“I guess I lost track of time. I’ve got somewhere to be.”
Somewhere to be, huh? He’s had a lot of ‘somewheres to be’ recently. She and Zeno are pretty sure he’s found someone. There’s no other place he could possibly need ‘to be’ at midnight. And he and Kallias have become strangely close. Could Alexander have actually charmed the boy made of stone?
She’s not sure she’s convinced, but, hey, all the power to him, right? And may the Forms watch over him because if he makes one wrong move, they’ll find him dead in a ditch come morning.
“Alright,” Eudoxia says, not even trying to keep the warning out of her voice.
“Have fun sparring,” he replies.
“Bye, Alexander.” Zeno waves as Alexander jogs off toward the stairs. Once he’s out of view, Zeno jokes, “Let’s hope he’s using protection.”
“Let’s hope he’s bringing protection. Perhaps some pepper spray?”
Zeno smiles at her. “Hey, give the guy some credit. It would be against bro-code to be anything but proud.”
“Good thing I’m not a bro.”
“Eudoxia, my darling, you are most definitely a bro.”
Everything in her brain goes silent.
My darling.
Oh, that’s infuriating.
He can’t just— That’s just—
That’s just not a big deal. At all.
“If you say so,” she responds, and it sounds suspiciously like a question.
She just can’t get it out of her head: My darling.
“So, are we sparring or what?” he asks.
“Of course,” she breathes, taking off toward the training rooms.
It’s not long until their bags are down and they’re sparring.
She’s lost almost every round, but he isn’t playing fair.
Because they’re friends. Just friends. So why does my darling make her knees weak? Why does it make her want to beg to hear it again? Why does it make her want to kiss him?
She initiates a left hook, but Zeno quickly dodges, giving her no time to abort. With that momentum, he pushes her to the ground and pins her hands above her head. She rolls her eyes at his victorious smirk and catches him in a hold of her own, wrapping her legs around his waist. A stalemate.
But instead of struggling for control, Zeno slows their fight to a stop. “Are you okay?” he asks, smirk fading fast and brows drawn together in concern.
“What do you mean ‘am I okay’? Of course I’m okay. Why would I not be okay?”
Well, that was a lot more defensive than it needed to be.
“You just seem a little… off,” he says, letting go of one of her hands and putting his own to her cheek.
Everything surrounding her is plunged into darkness and the only thing she can see is him. Zeno. She feels nothing else, hears nothing else, wants nothing else.
“I’m fine. Everything is fine.”
Zeno doesn’t seem convinced. He stays where he is, looking at her—really looking at her—and she feels her free hand find his waist under his shirt in a motion she definitely didn’t tell it to do.
His lovely eyes are engineers, taking her apart more and more the longer she lets herself stare at them.
It’s as overwhelming as it is addicting.
She darts her gaze quickly to the side before her blush can darken.
“Are you fine?” she asks as his hand moves down to hold her chin and turn her face back to his.
“I’m so fine,” he breathes. “The finest I’ve ever been.”
She can’t stop herself from smiling at that.
“You smell really good,” Zeno says, leaning his forehead on the crook of her neck. “Like honey.”
Her brain is malfunctioning. His breath is hot on her collarbone and she can feel his lips moving on her shoulder.
She grabs the back of his neck to pull him closer and puts her forehead to his temple.
What is she doing, what is she doing, what is she—
“Sun Priestess candy,” she confesses without thinking. She has completely lost control of her mouth and her body, clearly.
He huffs a laugh into her shoulder and all she wants now is to know what it feels like for him to kiss her neck. To muffle a groan in her hair. To lose himself in her arms.
These are not friendly thoughts.
These are thoughts of someone infatuated.
Of someone in lo—
No. No, she is not.
She yanks out of his embrace and can’t help a shiver at the cold of the air around her as she shoots up to standing.
“Xia,” Zeno says, still sitting and in a haze. He shivers too.
Then his brows come together in subdued horror. “Eudoxia,” he says again. Her name spills out of his mouth like he can’t help it. Like he’s savoring every syllable.
He opens his mouth again like he’s going to ask what this means but she takes another step back and interrupts. “Are we going again?” she asks. She’s ripped something away from them, she knows that. But she can’t do this.
Zeno’s face drops for a second before a smile forms that is so far from reaching his eyes it might as well be a grimace.
“Of course we are, silly,” he says.
“Of course we are,” she repeats, keeping her distance from him to ready herself for another round.
When Eudoxia gets back to her room, she’s still off-kilter.
She expects to come back to Ophelia and Arete giggling as usual, but when she opens the door she finds Arete alone, lying on the bed. She’s surrounded by candy wrappers, throwing a ball up and down.
“Where’s Ophelia?” Eudoxia asks, toeing off her high-tops and unbuttoning her linen shirt.
“She stopped by with some candy, but she said there were some nighttime rituals at the Temple so she couldn’t stay.” Arete’s voice is monotone, far from her usual buzz.
“Okay.”
Arete doesn’t speak as Eudoxia changes for bed and doesn’t move to help when Eudoxia gathers the wrappers strewn all about to throw them away. She just keeps tossing and catching her red ball, staring at the ceiling.
“We have a trash can for a reason, Arete,” Eudoxia sighs. She shouldn’t have said it—not when Arete is clearly in a state. But she can’t help it. Can’t ever stay silent. Can’t ever stop when enough is enough.
Arete sits up slowly. “There’s also kindness for a reason, Xia, but you don’t give it to me, do you?”
Her voice is scarily calm despite the words.
Eudoxia is the older one, the responsible one. She cannot drop to her sister’s level. She needs to stay mature, to handle this situation like an adult.
But when has she ever done that?
“I don’t give you kindness? Really?” she says, her voice not forgiving even though she knows it should be.
Arete laughs with far too much bitterness for a ten-year-old girl. “You don’t care about me. You don’t love me!”
“Of course I love you. Why do you think I do all of this?” she shouts, gesturing to the room, the protection she’s offered.
“If you loved me you wouldn’t make me stay inside like your pet and treat me like you don’t want me around and hide me from your friends and lock me away like you’re ashamed of me.”
“When have I ever implied that I’m ashamed of you?”
“All the time!”
“Everything I do, I do to keep you safe. What about that can you not understand?”
“Safety is all you care about anymore. You don’t care about me.”
“Arete, stop acting like a child. Do you know how much harder you make my life? Do you know how much work I put into having you here? How much you have ruined for me? I could have had a normal life here if not for you.”
“Well then why did you even bring me?” Arete screams.
“I don’t know!”
“I hate you!”
“I should have left you there,” Eudoxia yells, not thinking. “I should have left you with him and let him do what he wanted with you. Better that than having you be so impossible.”
Eudoxia regrets it the moment she says it.
She’s despicable, bringing him into this. What he could have done had Eudoxia left Arete there.
She and Arete fight constantly—Forms, do they fight—but this time her ten-year-old sister is looking up at her like she doesn’t recognize her and Eudoxia has no idea how to fix it.
“I’m going to the bathroom,” Eudoxia exhales. “Be in bed by the time I get back.”
Arete responds with a sniffle, and Eudoxia walks away anyway.
She has no idea why Zeno looks at her the way he does. She doesn’t deserve it—doesn’t deserve him.
When she comes back, Arete is curled up tight, facing the wall. Her quick breathing says she’s not really asleep, but Eudoxia doesn’t call her out on it. She slips into the bed and closes her eyes.
It takes hours for her to fall asleep.