Chapter Four
Four
Grier listened to the rush of blood in her head as she counted her strokes through the rock pool she frequented most mornings before work.
She found an escape in the deafening quiet beneath the water, with the waves of Lake Aether crashing against the reinforced rock walls.
The chilled water invigorated her, heightened her senses, and dulled her racing thoughts.
But it wasn’t working this morning.
Thoughts of Captain Maes pushed in from every angle. She couldn’t distract herself. It had been three days since their flight, and despite the ample work and family time, her free thoughts roamed back to the tall brunette with the stunning tattoos and sensual green eyes.
Last night, her dreams had left her wet and aching, startled awake by the force of them, pleading for release.
Snippets of the visions danced behind her eyelids as she cut through the water: the captain’s green gaze holding hers, dropping to Grier’s full lips while she nibbled seductively on her own.
The captain leaning in, tasting her, fingers skimming along her shoulders and down her arm.
Grier tugging her close with the ends of her tie, their mouths colliding, hungry and insistent.
Buttons slipping free beneath her hands, shirt falling open to reveal warm skin—her fingers tracing higher, seeking out nipples she knew would be as hard and eager as her own.
Grier choked on the lake water, lost so thoroughly in the memory of the dream that she’d forgotten to breathe in reality.
She sputtered, coughing as she stood in the pool, ripping her goggles from her face.
She stood there, embarrassed despite her utter aloneness in the dark hours of the spring morning.
She gasped for air she hoped would cleanse her mind as much as clear her lungs.
This was getting out of control. She didn’t know anything about the captain.
Her fantasies were purely physical. She’d always been comfortable with her own desires, but she had never fallen for someone without at least a glimpse of her personality.
This was new, and although the dreams were exceptionally thrilling, she hesitated to let them to continue.
And—she felt a twinge of guilt fantasizing about a real person, sexualizing someone she honestly knew nothing about.
But damn, the dreams were intense. They rendered her fantastically aroused, and it was difficult to want to silence a libido that had been rather quiet recently. What could she do? She couldn’t consciously stop the dreams. Maybe if she didn’t resist, they’d run their course?
She exited the pool, tugging a towel around her shoulders to fight the cold wind off the lake. Her nipples were still hard after reliving her fantasy. She walked to the showers, hoping the heat would relieve the tension in her low back and shoulders, tight from arousal.
It might be the only relief I’ll get.
An hour later, she walked into the hospital break room carrying a box of doughnuts and a carton of black coffee. She often brought breakfast for her staff, happy to gain rapport as they updated her on cases and their lives.
“What’s this shit?” Alix accosted her, seated across from Maren at one of the tables.
“What do you mean?” Grier asked, depositing the breakfast on the counter and nearly collapsing into a chair between her friends.
“Your hair is still damp, and you look like someone ran over your cat.” Maren stared at her questioningly.
“I hate cats.”
“Irrelevant. What’s going on?” Alix pressed.
Grier fiddled with the pendant at her neck, weighing how much to tell them. She’d already replayed the entire encounter with Captain Maes to them. “I had a dream about the captain last night.”
She watched as Alix and Maren exchanged glances, both unsuccessfully hiding smug smiles as they both sat up and forward.
“A sex dream? Please tell me it was a sex dream!” Alix implored.
Grier looked at both of her friends. Begrudgingly, she crumpled forward, resting her head in her arms on the tabletop. “It was a sex dream,” she admitted, her voice pitched like a defeated child.
“Yes!” Alix squealed, ineffectively containing their excitement.
Maren tried a different tactic over their outburst. “Awe, honey. That good, huh?” She reached forward to sweep a stray piece of hair from Grier’s eyes. “She still hasn’t contacted you?”
“No. And I doubt she will.” Grier sighed, defeated. “I’ve got it bad. And I don’t even know her first name! She could be a deplorable human being, and I’m over here pining for her while she could be out there running over my cat. I’m pathetic.”
“A, you don’t have a cat,” Alix offered. “And B, she’s unlikely to be deplorable. She’s a bona fide SAR helicopter pilot. She literally dedicated her life to saving people.”
“Lie to me?” She pleaded, the question hanging in her voice. “Tell me she’s terrible so I can let this go.”
“That’s not how this works, honey. You have to let yourself do the things. Your soul obviously felt something kindred in her, or you wouldn’t be this twisted up about it.” Maren patted her hand sympathetically. “Can you reach out?”
Grier began shaking her head. “That’s not even all of it.
There’s the other problem…” Grier trailed off, remembering the view from the cockpit of the helicopter—the one that included the photo of the gorgeous, younger woman.
She still had no way of knowing who that was to the captain, or if the captain was even queer.
Her body vibrated with the innate knowledge that the captain definitely leaned lesbian; the reciprocal advances at least offered that much information.
“The photo of the woman in her cockpit.” She groaned and rolled her head further into her arms.
“I don’t think I’ve seen you this discombobulated before,” Alix noted, somewhat distracted by the doughnut they were devouring.
Grier refused to turn her head, keeping her voice muffled. “I’ve never been this discombobulated before.”
She felt a gentle squeeze on her hand as Maren persisted with positivity.
“Kindred spirits, Grier. Your soul felt something, and now you can’t rest until you allow your spirits to explore what might be.
” “And on that earthy-crunchy note, who’s on deck for today?
” Alix interjected, always eager to downplay the spiritual awareness that Maren used to explain all of life’s inexplicable challenges.
“I’m seeing Jonah around nine for therapy.
Are either of you working on him today? Where’s oncology at? ”
Grier sat up at the change in topic. “I spoke to Dr. Vanders two days ago. He wants to take the leg. Basically said it’s a lost cause, despite how much Jonah and Molly are hoping to delay it. He says we all know it’s going to happen, and we need to get on board.”
“Ultimately, it’s Jonah’s choice. Vanders can’t cut him if Jonah and Molly don’t consent,” Alix reminded her.
“Yes. But they’re scared, and he’s… insistent.” Grier tried to remain diplomatic while choosing coarser words in her mind.
“He’s a bully. And an asshat,” Alix retorted, operating under less decorum than Grier was. “He’s going to get the hospital sued one of these times. And I don’t want it to have anything to do with Jonah.”
Trying to remain practical, despite sharing her friends’ sentiment, Grier gently admonished them. “He’s also one of the hospital’s golden boys and up for Physician of the Year next weekend. We have to tread lightly.”
“I can’t wait to watch you wipe that arrogant grin off his face when they call your name. You know he thinks he has it in the bag. Smug bastard.” Alix ground their teeth as they finished their thought.
The Physician of the Year award was the most prestigious honor for the faculty at Aetheridge Children’s Hospital, presented each year at the annual fundraising gala.
For it to be awarded to a non- traditional physician from the Integrated Health department was unlikely—it simply wasn’t an honor chiropractors received.
It was far too common to see the award go to surgeons for their groundbreaking techniques and life-saving procedures.
Grier was honored to be included in this year’s nominations, particularly because she knew it was due entirely to patient and family nominations that the hospital’s Board of Directors polled as part of the selection process.
Grier had been with the department for seven years.
Her approachable demeanor and type-A organizational tendencies had fast-tracked her to department chair when the previous director left.
She accepted the position conditionally, negotiating the privilege of continuing patient care—refusing to trade her treatment skills for bureaucracy and paperwork.
Her relationship with her patients was uncommonly involved.
Being in the Integrative Health department and associated with long- term care, she spent hours with some patients each day, co-managing their symptoms with her team.
Often, just being present through pains she couldn’t address was all the support she could offer.
Her patient rapport and bedside manner were spirited and gentle, playful as much as educational, and, above all, supportive.
She was a fierce advocate for each of her patients, often going toe-to-toe with other physicians when warranted.
She had earned respect as a knowledgeable provider, even among traditional doctors and surgeons, and was routinely included in interdepartmental conferences regarding patient care.
Her fierce devotion to patients also extended to the other physicians, nurses and support staff.
She was loved, and her team eagerly anticipated her recognition for dedication.
“I appreciate the vote of confidence, and that response alone would be worth all of Vanders’s ire, but I still think it’s unlikely that I’ll win.”