Chapter 15 #4
Tobin felt the cool air brush her eyes as her pupils blew, hearing Grier’s words and recognizing the hunger in them. She watched Grier’s gaze track briefly to her own lips, and she licked them on instinct. Grier’s breath hitched, her lower lip caught between her teeth.
Against every single gods-damned instinct she had, Tobin abruptly stood. “Slow?”
Grier deflated mildly, shaking her head in frustrated agreement with Tobin’s reluctant reminder. “Yes. Slow.”
Tobin began pacing slightly, trying to expend her sexual energy. Then she paused. “Dessert!”
Grier turned, mildly confused. “Excuse me?”
“I prepared dessert. Hang on!” Tobin darted into the kitchen and procured a mason jar with light pink contents from the freezer.
She returned to the deck to find Grier standing at the railing, gazing out over the rough water. The waves crashed against the cliffs below, somehow in perfect rhythm with her pulse. She handed Grier a spoon and opened the jar, offering it to her.
Grier eyed her curiously, a slight squint as she evaluated the contents of the jar.
Tobin tapped her spoon gently against Grier’s. “To new beginnings, and slow foundations.” Grier’s smile widened, and Tobin’s body thrummed with the beginnings of what felt an awful lot like happiness.
“This is homemade Rainier cherry sorbet,” Tobin continued. “I thought we could use a… palate cleanser.” She winked, and tongued a spoonful of the rich, sweet dessert off the spoon, turning it upside down on the way to her mouth.
Grier slid her spoon into her mouth and moaned softly as the sorbet hit her tastebuds.
“Now it’s my turn to ask if you’re real!
This is divine. Seriously, I haven’t even had the chance to tell you that the way to my heart is through food, and—shit, Tobin…
bring that back!” Grier stabbed her spoon into the jar for another heaping scoop, lips and tongue darting in a way Tobin understood for the promise it was.
“You might like to know that I picked the cherries used in this,” Tobin cooed, leaning against the railing, knowing full well it drew the V of her white shirt snug against her breasts.
Tobin watched as Grier’s eyes darkened, the amber swirling around her coal-black pupils. Her grin turned smug when she caught Grier’s wandering gaze. She had laid a trap—and Grier willingly entered.
Tobin’s voice dropped low. “It’s a family recipe. My grandmother and I perfected it when I was little, spending my summers with her and my grandfather on their cherry farm.”
Grier stopped mid-bite, a sliver of sorbet melting on her tongue. “Okay, now I know you’re not real.”
The proclamation jolted her back to reality; the world faded into shadow once more as she remembered there was still one very important thing they needed to discuss before this—whatever this was—could really have the freedom to begin.
Everything inside her rebelled against the confession, but she knew if they didn’t have this conversation now, she’d be risking both their hearts when it inevitably surfaced later.
She had a timeline, and Grier deserved to know about it.
She turned abruptly to face Grier head-on. “There’s one more
thing…”
Grier’s brows lifted, wary but curious. The sudden shift in tone unsettled them both.
“Why do I get the impression I should sit for this revelation?” Grier asked, her voice still holding a teasing lilt.
“You—we—probably should.” Tobin tilted her neck toward the couch, and they both moved to sit side by side once more.
Tobin drew a steadying breath and formed the words she knew might take this woman from her before they’d even had a chance to begin.
“I hadn’t planned on meeting you.” She cleared her throat.
Fuck, this is hard, she thought. “I hadn’t planned on meeting anyone I might actually want to start a relationship with. ”
Grier just watched her, eyes darting over Tobin’s face, absorbing every flicker of emotion that crossed it.
“My goals in life have never wavered—I’ve always wanted a family. After my accident, I thought my chance at one had disappeared along with my ex. But then I realized I didn’t need a wife to have a family.” She hesitated, studying Grier’s remarkably calm, unreadable expression.
“I decided to have a baby on my own, without a wife.” The words came out softer than she intended. “My first appointment isn’t until the end of June, but it’s scheduled, and…”
Grier leaned forward slightly, her voice gentle but anxious.
Prompting. “… And?”
“And I’m not really sure where that all stands now. But I figured it’s important to be honest and upfront with each other. Even the hard things.” The last words tumbled out too fast, as though she could outrun the weight of them.
She searched Grier’s face greedily, bracing for her impending response.
But Grier was uncharacteristically quiet—unnervingly so.
Even her hands were quiet in her lap, her fingers no longer twisting the chain at her throat.
The silence stretched between them, heavy with the sound of Tobin’s heartbeat thundering in her ears.
It seemed like whole minutes passed before Grier finally cleared her throat. Tobin braced herself, steeling her expression—determined not to show emotion when Grier inevitably left. She suspected that moment was only seconds from now.
“That’s… quite literally a life changing statement.” Grier’s voice was quiet, thoughtful. She looked at Tobin, and Tobin could almost feel her trying to formulate an escape plan.
“You said you’re not sure where it stands. Does that mean you’re willing to… negotiate?” Grier asked, her tone still surprisingly calm.
“Negotiate what, exactly?” Tobin asked, hesitant.
“A timeline. Say, for example, this news doesn’t run me off like you clearly think it will.” Heat crept up Tobin’s neck at how easily Grier had read her.
“If I didn’t run, and we started this slow, intentional relationship we’ve been discussing—when the time came for your appointment, would you be willing to adjust your timeline?
To give us the time we might need to decide if it’s right for us?
Or are you set on getting pregnant at the earliest opportunity? ”
Tobin was speechless. It hadn’t occurred to her that Grier might stay—might actually be willing to meet her halfway. Wasn’t this a conversation couples had after months together? And yet, here they were, already cracking open their futures only hours into their adolescent romance.
“You’re actually considering still dating me?” Tobin’s mouth was agape; she couldn’t control it.
“Look—a family is on my radar, too. And I’ve also considered single parenthood by choice.
It’s never been my first choice, but I want children enough that I would consider doing it if I haven’t partnered by a reasonable age.
So, no—children don’t scare me. You having an appointment doesn’t scare me.
What scares me is not knowing if you’re willing to put your maternal clock on pause long enough to find out if we’re working toward the same future—or if we should cut our losses now. ”
Tobin stood and walked to the railing. The cool lake breeze revitalized her, but it couldn’t cool the flush that burned under her skin. Anxiety and fear from her confession had left her shirt damp with sweat.
She felt Grier’s warmth before she felt her hand—the tentative press of a warm palm to the small of her back sent chills unrelated to the temperature coursing over her skin. This woman took her by surprise every damn time.
“You were expecting me to bolt,” Grier said softly. “And now you don’t know what to do. Am I right?”
Tobin turned to look at Grier, and the concern in her face helped her steel her own confidence.
“No… yes, I was expecting you to bolt. But you’re wrong about me not knowing what to do.
” She met Grier’s eyes, and in them found the strength to break down yet another layer of her armor.
“If you’re truly and honestly standing in front of me, telling me you’re willing to see where this can go, then I’m one hundred percent certain I’m willing to sideline my timeline. ”
Their eyes remained locked, both of them frozen in place— tracing each other’s faces, searching for signs, for any tell that might make either of them change their minds.
“I can’t decide if this is going to result in the most stable and communicative relationship I’ve ever known, or crash and burn with both our hearts in the fire…
” Grier paused, and Tobin felt as though her entire world hung in the ellipses.
“But, I’m not one to cower to my fears. And, I really, really like you, Tobin. ”
Tobin continued to search Grier’s face for any sign of deception. She could feel her heart beating against her ribs, the sound of her pulse in her ears loud enough to drown out the waves below.
She watched as Grier’s pupils dilated, taking her in, recognizing their shared fear and longing.
And determination. Grier reached for both of Tobin’s hands and took a step closer, closing what little space remained between them.
With a confidence Tobin knew she herself couldn’t have mustered, Grier said, “I’m in.
Let’s see what happens when we play with fire. ”
Tobin wasn’t sure who moved first, only that suddenly they were wrapped in each other, the embrace settling over her like relief.
Grier seemed to fit just so against her body.
Tobin breathed her in, the scent of her grounding and intoxicating.
There was a peace to their embrace—unexpected and profound.
Tobin knew, instinctively, that she would do anything to protect and nurture whatever this was going to be.
Grier led them back to the couch, where she nestled into Tobin as if they’d been doing it for years—the back of her head against Tobin’s chest, pulling Tobin’s arms around her and lacing their fingers together over her sternum. An instant comfort.
“Are we done with the heavy talk for the day? I’m not sure this non-date can withstand much more.”
Tobin chuckled airily, the last of her tension and insecurity drifting away like smoke. “Yes, we’re done. At least I don’t have any more major revelations. Do you?” She asked tentatively.
“Nothing so big as having a fertility appointment scheduled at the start of a new romance, no.” Tobin could hear the playful smile on Grier’s lips as she teased her.
She squeezed Grier from behind, savoring how comfortably she fit against her body. The squeeze inadvertently brought Tobin’s lips near the sensitive skin just behind Grier’s ear, and when she grazed it, she felt Grier tense in her arms—a little gasp escaping her lips. Or was that a moan?
Neither of them moved. But the embers were stoking, and Tobin knew they both felt the air around them shift, charging.
Not a date. Not a date. Not. A. Date. We are taking this slow.
She pulled back, just slightly. Grier shuddered, whether from the accidental brush of Tobin’s mouth or from the sudden chill that hit them both as their bodies gapped, Tobin couldn’t tell.
But she knew she wanted to find out. Tentatively—but with a confidence she didn’t truly feel—Tobin traced her fingers over the spot her lips had just touched.
Grier’s body responded before the next soft gasp left her throat—and this time, it was followed by an unmistakable moan.
Tobin was certain this woman was going to give her a heart attack. She couldn’t recall the last time her pulse had felt steady.
She continued to stroke that small erogenous zone behind Grier’s ear, and Grier met her movements with wordless consent— tilting her head, not to pull away, but to expose more of her neck. An invitation. Tobin didn’t need further encouragement.
She slid her fingers forward, wrapping them gently around Grier’s throat, the charge of Grier’s skin like lighting beneath her fingertips.
Her fingers traced along the collar of Grier’s sweater in a slow, sultry crawl until they found what they were searching for: the pendant resting against the top of Grier’s sternum.
It was warm— Grier’s warmth—and it was like a spark to kindling.
Tobin’s mind flashed to every fantasy she’d had of darting her tongue through the pendant to taste Grier’s soft skin.
And now, that fantasy was literally in her grasp.
She felt Grier’s hand reach for her own over the pendant and knew she’d gone too far.
The necklace meant something to Grier, and Tobin wasn’t going to find out what that was today.
Tonight? Time had passed beyond her knowledge.
But the deepening twilight told her enough—the sun had settled below the horizon, blanketing the world in soft blues and purples.
Grier gently entwined her fingers with the ones Tobin had been using to explore her skin and the pendant. “This is a story I need to share with you—but that can wait for another time. It’s nothing that will change our trajectory. But it will give you some insight into… me.”
Tobin didn’t answer. She knew Grier already understood that whenever she chose to share it, Tobin would be a captive audience.
“In the interest of keeping things slow, I should go home,” Grier said quietly.
Tobin gave her a small squeeze in acknowledgement but still didn’t speak. Her throat was thick with longing, and she liked being able to convey her emotions without words—and knowing she was understood.
They rose together, and Tobin walked Grier to the front door.
Their goodbye stretched into a long, lingering hug before Grier finally stepped across the threshold and disappeared into the night.
When her car started, Tobin closed the door and leaned against it, smiling—big, stupid, and completely unable to stop herself.
She pressed a finger to her throat, feeling her pulse begin to slow after a marathon of a day.
Pushing off the door, she headed into the kitchen to clean up—and stopped short. A phone sat on the counter. Tobin frowned, patting her back pocket. Her own was exactly where she’d left it.
It had to be Grier’s.
Tobin grabbed the phone and hurried to the front door in a flurry of footsteps, hoping to catch Grier before she pulled away. She swung the door open—then froze.
Grier stood there, arm raised, poised to knock.