Chapter 15 Not a Hero
Not a hero
There’s something wrong. The tension in the Resistance has grown minute by minute, and anyone with half a brain can feel it.
Waking up after a couple of hours sleep only made it more apparent.
I follow Mordecai through the long and empty halls of the school, frustrated by his heavy silence.
Whatever carpet there was has long since rotten through, and the floors are full of dirt and dead leaves.
The windows are shattered, and all that’s left are some broken frames of chairs and tables and the shells of the rooms that used to hold so much life.
I imagine I hear the ghost of laughter, but then it’s gone like it was never here.
I catch up to him just as he reaches Legion, the two of them exchanging a meaningful glance that says more than words can say. My temper spikes as I wait for them to explain.
“Any word?” Mordecai says in a terse voice and follows Legion into an old classroom.
I watch the side of his face from the shadows. This is a side of him I haven’t seen yet. This is a distressed, upset alpha who is on the verge of panic.
“No, nothing.”
“Where was she supposed to be? Show me a map.” Mordecai barks to the room.
Three alphas rush off, trying to escape his wrath. She? Does he have an omega? Hot, sticky rage fills my chest and spreads out. I know it’s irrational; I know I don’t know this alpha, but I’ll kill any omega who tries to take him.
When I look up, Mordecai has his eyes on me. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but that look takes my breath away.
“She was supposed to be here on the first night. We haven’t heard anything from her since she left the checkpoint,” Legion says in a strained voice.
Mordecai swings and throws his fist straight into the wall. It cracks up and down, and when he pulls back, there’s a fist-size dent in the bricks.
I stare at the spot, unease slithering through me. Who is she?
“We need her. In order to survive, it’s imperative!” Mordecai shouts to the room.
An omega and an alpha peer in, spot him, and run past the door.
I fold my arms over my chest and glare at the alpha I thought I was coming to know. I am completely unimpressed with this behaviour. Even if his scent of steel and leather has intensified, making my mouth water.
“Who is she?” Jarek asks from beside me.
A small sound of protest slips out. I wasn’t aware of him getting so close to me. His scent is something so comforting that I didn’t even see a reason to alarm to it. I watch him watch me out of the corner of my eye.
Mordecai turns and sees us. His gaze lands on Jarek, but he turns to me when he explains.
“Taryn is an omega, a very skilled and talented omega who is here with a specific purpose.”
“And you didn’t bother with a backup plan?” I ask dryly.
Mordecai glares at me.
“What? You promised us a conversation,” I say pointedly. “I—”
“Well, it's going to have to wait. I need to go out into the city and check the safe houses and see if I can find her.”
Safe houses?
Find her?
I clench my hands into fists and grit my teeth, feeling my temper start to ignite again.
I look between Mordecai and Legion, who is carefully not looking at me.
Marshall slips into the room, clearing his throat.
Bear comes in behind him with Banks and Charlotte, but their arrival breaks the growing tension between Mordecai and me.
“If this is a Resistance meeting, I’ll be off,” I say.
Mordecai opens his mouth, frustration written all over him, but Marshall cuts him off.
“Actually, we’d love your input, Keres. You know how the enemy thinks.”
I don’t know whether to be depressed over that or proud. My claim to fame, understanding the assholes who want to kill me. How thrilling it is to be me.
“We’re going to need to go look for her, but we assumed she would be with you,” Bear says to Mordecai, ignoring Marshall.
Mordecai snarls. “Why would you assume that? I had Keres; you left us, remember.”
He had me? Like I’m in inconvenience?
My temper crashes into the room, and the scent of my forest pheromones, which is bitter with my rage, alerts every alpha in the vicinity.
Mordecai looks up and stares at me. There is no apology on his face, which turns the bitter air scorched as I struggle with my temper. This is why I don’t do people. This is why I stay far away from alphas.
“Who is Taryn, and why is she so important?” I speak softly but with deadly menace, never shifting my eyes from the alpha who feels like mine.
“Taryn is an omega who is very important to our mission, and I will tell you when I can tell you everything. It's no good telling you in parts and pieces,” he says with a closed expression. He’s the only one not reacting to my fury.
He’s not going to give me more, I withdraw into myself, closing off from him and everyone else. Fine. Just fine.
Bear sighs and scrubs a hand over his face. “They can stay here while you and Legion go out and look.”
“I will do no such thing!” I snap.
“It’s not safe—”
I glare at the leader of the Resistance. “Try locking me up. Just try it, and you’ll find out why my name is so nefarious.”
Jarek laughs. “What she said.”
“We’re going with him,” I say and jerk my chin at Mordecai. “Right until the moment I decide you’re not worth it, and then you're on your own, Alpha. You, your omega, and your Resistance.”
Mordecai stares at me. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but it’s probably a good thing. The room is getting almost uninhabitable from my temper.
Cadel slinks into the room and looks down at the roll of paper that Legion spreads over an ancient wooden table.
The two don’t seem to notice the tension in the room. It’s the first time an alpha, let alone two, has been able to ignore me so completely.
Mia comes in, looking red in the face. She holds out a short sword to me and a longer sword to Jarek. He shakes his head and points at his knives.
Cadel glances at the sword and takes it up, easily twirling it around like it weighs nothing.
I don’t need sword skills. It’s too late to wish I had them. I just need to stab whoever gets close to me and stay out of range of their sharp ends. Easy.
And so damn complicated.
“You should really stay here,” Mordecai says.
The betrayal flares up deeper, stronger, but I jut my chin and narrow my eyes. I shift the sword from one hand to the other and take three steps closer to the Resistance group.
“If you think for one second I’m staying here, you’re dead wrong.
I don’t know you. I don’t trust any of you.
You have the answers I want, and I’m giving you a chance to share them, but if you choose not to when we find this omega, I will leave you all to die, and I won’t feel a single slither of shame over it. ”
“So, so cold,” Legion whispers. “Who hurt you?”
I turn a look of pure loathing on him. “Everyone.”
Mordecai clears his throat, dragging my attention back to him. “Okay, come with us, then, but keep up.”
Cadel shoves Mordecai hard enough that he slams into the wall. The other members of the Resistance reach for their weapons, but Legion holds up his hand, stopping them.
“You will show respect to our omega or I’ll cut your useless cock from your corpse.”
“Get off me!” Mordecai snarls, struggling hard.
Cadel shoves him harder against the wall and growls. It takes three long seconds, and then Mordecai lifts his chin, exposing his throat, panting. Submitting.
Jarek laughs again, but I ignore him, waiting as Cadel stalks towards me, snatches up my wrist, and tows me out of the room.
We wait outside, none of us wanting to be around the Resistance.
Being away from the alphas is enough to have me pulling myself back under control.
The clouds are thicker today, darker, more menacing.
Rain might fall. I’m not sure if that would be in our favour or not.
It would suit my mood. If I wasn’t so angry, I might cry.
Mordecai and Legion come out, each wearing a small pack. Mordecai comes straight to me and puts a hand on my arm.
“I’m sorry. I want to tell you everything, but I just don’t want you to hear part of it. The story sounds insane.”
I stare up at him. “Are you sure this is the right thing to do? We could leave. With Jarek and Cadel, just the four of us. You don’t have to do this,” I whisper, almost pleading. “This is how we get killed.”
“What about everyone else?” Mordecai asks softly. “Could you leave everyone else to die? I think we can change things; no, I believe we can change the world. Try to imagine it, Kaida, where you can be free to be your beautiful self.”
I open my mouth to tell him that I could leave them, but I think we all know I’d struggle with it now. I imagine walking out and trying to live a happy life knowing all these people I’ve met died here.
“I’ll wait and listen. I can’t give you anything more than that because this is an unprecedented time, and I don’t know what everyone’s motives are.” My trust is a brittle, fragile creature. I cast a pointed look at Legion, who rocks back on his heels and looks up at the sky, whistling.
“No offense taken,” he says with a wink.
I ignore him, but Mordecai has got me facing an uncomfortable question I don’t want to think about.
Why do they have such a pull on me?
“Shall we?” Jarek says, “Or we can continue to psychoanalyze each other and then braid each other’s hair and create flower crowns for the people who are coming to murder us.
” His mask is gone, and the lethal alpha we met is back, his gaze sharp, taking in everything.
All of his movements are calculated and appear deadly.
Cadel glides past us, heading towards the hole in the fence.
I have so many questions, and I don’t like that he’s holding it back. If things are going to affect me, I want to know about them.
Jarek walks by my side, close enough that on every third or fourth swing of our arms, our skin touches.
“Do you want to stay with someone else?” I murmur to him suddenly.
Jarek looks up at me with a puzzled frown. “Huh?”
“The Resistance. If you’d like to leave, I’d like to hear what you think we should do.”
Jarek smiles, but it’s rueful. “I want nothing more than to say fuck them, but they are organised and have a safe place. At the moment, I think it’s the best place for us.”
He’s got freckles on his cheeks. They are faint and would only be noticeable up close, but they are there. It’s such an odd and normal thing, and yet, I find it unbearably beautiful.
We get to the fence, and I slip through, refusing to give myself a chance to chicken out.
The city is just as ominous as we left it. In fact, even more so. On the road in front of us, there is a trail of blood like someone was dragged up the street.
“Why are we not hearing much from the Path?” I ask quietly.
Legion looks up the street and back the other way, his expression grim. “Because they have a section that is their home away from home, and they’ve been setting up camp. They will come for us in the next couple of days. What we’ve seen so far has been scouting parties.”
I close my eyes, trying to get myself ready to face this.
“We’re going to be moving fast. Legion, you lead since you know the city,” Mordecai says, staring into shadows with a deadly aura cloaking him.
“How do you know the city?” I ask.
They both ignore me.
Cadel stays behind me as we start off at a jog.
We’re going in a direction that is not the one we came from.
The city turns from low buildings made out of old brick to two and three-story buildings that are almost on top of each other.
An entire section is still smoke and soot-scarred and burnt down to rubble.
A lizard explodes up into the air, its flat form changing from the brown-grey of the dirt to a vivid pink. It hisses and blinks twelve eyes before it lands and takes off, whipping its tail hard enough to break stone.
“Careful, they are toxic,” I murmur.
Mordecai gives me a side-eye. “How do you know that?”
“I got stung once. They have a barb in their tail. I was sick for about a month. It felt like my bones were on fire.”
He swallows hard. “Right. Thanks.”
Jarek elbows me. “Look at you being so helpful and saving lives.”
I smile despite myself.
And Jarek makes a cooing noise. “I would be a fool just to see that incredible smile.”
“Quiet!” Mordecai growls.
Legion slides into a small building a few hundred feet further on. It’s a dark little house with dark bricks that have crumbled on the left side, but I can still see the remnants of a footpath. It looks like nothing special.
“This was someone’s home. They lived here happily With their family, and then the Ravage happened, and the world became this. I wonder what they were thinking when it happened?” I murmur absently.
“They were probably just scared,” Jarek says.
“Their world was ending; I imagine they were a lot more than just scared,” I muse.
Legion comes out leading a small omega. She’s got dark hair that’s straight and falls to her shoulders and beautiful dark skin. She’s delicate and graceful, with big brown eyes, and when she sees Mordecai, she throws herself at him.
There are different ways to end worlds. Sometimes a single moment destroys the fantasy we’ve been creating and wrapping around ourselves.
“I am so happy to find you safe,” Mordecai says, and it’s softer and in a voice he’s never used around me.
She presses her lips against his. I turn away, trying to smother the irrational rage that is trying to prompt me to tear her throat out.
Jarek reaches for my hand, but I sidestep and turn my head, looking down the street. I have no reason to be jealous; he’s not mine. My attention dissolves and reforms as I peer into the shadows. What is that? Something there…something moves.
It’s big enough to dislodge a fountain of dust.
I take a step back, watching intently, scanning and looking for something that shouldn’t belong. My chest tightens as the tension in the air grows. They haven’t noticed yet, but I lived in the wild for years. I know how to read the environment, and I know how to trust my instincts.
“Kaida,” Mordecai says my name hesitantly. “It’s not what it looks like.”
I bare my teeth. “Keres. My name is Keres.” I pause, slowly making out the massive shape of a four-legged creature in the interior of the collapsed house.
“Keres,” Mordecai says, reaching out.
I slap his arm away, taking one more look at the terrified omega.
Fine. I spring forward, running at a sprint. Like I expected, as soon as I get close, it explodes out of the house, chasing me.
“KAIDA!” Jarek shouts, but I ignore him.
Running as fast as I can, I leave the others behind, where they are safe.
I’m not a damn hero; I just don’t want to see their faces anymore.