Chapter 34
She's just gone
The Anarchy Wolf, Alpha God of Winter
Three months before The Luna Goddess Disappears
I could feel her long before I saw her. She travelled through my blizzard as light as a moonbeam. The wind didn’t toss her around or aside; the snow didn’t drive her to the ground.
As I followed behind her, watching, I made it my mission to find out why these things weren’t affecting her because, even in these lands of gods, even the strongest omegas couldn’t withstand the ice of my wrath.
Yet, here she stands, lifting her chin and closing her eyes as if it were a ray of sun falling upon her beautiful face. She’s as pale as the snow with hair that whips around and rivals the beauty of the most intricate snowflakes.
I didn’t know I liked poetry until this moment, trying to find words to describe her incredible beauty becomes my new favourite hobby.
“I know that you’re there.”
In as many years that I’ve been aware, I can’t remember anyone catching me offside like this. I approach slowly and stand at her side, staring at her with unabashed curiosity.
She smiles and turns just enough to look up at me.
“Shall we be strangers?”
It’s such a curious statement that I smile. I don’t remember when I last smiled.
“Would that make it easier to explain why you are here in my winter?” I say in a tone that is what can only be flirty.
“I’m running away,” she whispers conspiratorially. “Would you care to join me?” Her smile teases me, and I really want to throw caution to the wind, and yes, join her.
“I see,” I say, but I don’t. “Yes, I want to.”
Her eyes widen slightly, and she turns more fully towards me. Her eyelashes are black tipped in white, and the dress she’s wearing leaves her delicate shoulders bare.
I have never desired anyone like I crave this omega.
I feel it in my bones, and my soul, every part of my being is hers already, kneeling.
I would give up everything for a smile, for the brush of a fingertip on my palm.
She’s the warmth I have longed for, the voice I listen for, the companion who could withstand the rage of winter and walk beside me. The one I dreamed of for so long.
This omega is mine.
And I am hers.
“So, we should stay strangers; it will make it more interesting.”
Her eyes shine, and she reaches out, capturing a snowflake and lifting the palm of her hand to her mouth and licking it off with a small pink tongue.
Delightful, intoxicating, erotic. I couldn’t walk away to save my life. I’ll agree to anything she wants.
I look away and clear my throat. “Okay, let’s be strangers.”
“Walk with me?”
I’m curious; that’s why I follow her, or at least, that’s what I tell myself. But the truth is I think I would follow her anywhere. I clasp my hands behind my back and follow her through my ice forests. She sees a joy in my world that no one ever has.
She doesn’t talk a lot, but when she does, I find it's something I want to hear.
Days and nights bleed together as I follow her.
I can’t make myself stop.
After a while, I forget to want to stop.
She’s standing on a hill looking up at the midnight sky with the millions and trillions of stars. She looks lonely.
I don’t think about it; I just walk up beside her. I’ve been following one step behind, unable to figure out how to close the distance between us. But now, she looks so forlorn, and I can’t stand it. I take her hand in mine.
Electricity zaps from my hand to hers and back, but I don’t pull away.
She stills, and her little fingers curl around mine. Her cheeks get a rose hue, and I think I feel her hand tremble. Do I affect her as well? Can she feel what’s between us?
“I want to give you something so that you remember me forever.”
“I would never forget you; it would be impossible,” I say, though the words come haltingly. I have never needed to express an emotion before, and never one this powerful.
“Would you accept my gift, Winter Wolf?”
“I do,” I whisper, absolutely transfixed by her liquid silver eyes. “I will.”
My hand burns, and when she pulls hers free, I lift my hand to find a swirl of stars and a moon tattooed in a perfect white design.
“It’s beautiful,” I murmur and look up at her. The world stills; my cold winter eases off. “You are beautiful,” I whisper, putting all my feelings into those three words.
Her cheeks turn the most delicate shade of pink.
“May I also give you a gift?”
She nods. I conjure an ice crystal and place it just below her neck. It disappears into her skin.
“What is it?”
“If you need me, if you ever need me, place your hand over the shard of ice and call for me. I will come.”
She steps closer, one hand over the ice shard and one on my chest. I look down at her and think that this is love.
“Do you promise?” she asks urgently. “No matter where I am? You will come?”
“Wherever you are, I will come. I swear it,” I vow.
She wraps her thin arms around me, so delicate and so strong. I hold her, too. It is the happiest moment of my life.
We watch the night turn into day, and then she keeps walking. She leads me to beaches, across mountains.
I know nothing about her, but I know I want to spend the rest of time following her around like this.
She turns and smiles at me.
“This has been fun.”
She’s leaving, and for the first time, I feel fear.
“No.”
“I have to go back.”
I step up into her. She doesn’t step back. She isn’t afraid.
“Winter must end, and we have to go back to our worlds,” she insists.
“No.”
She smiles, amused, and stands on her tiptoes, leaning up against me. I hold still, barely daring to breathe in case she stops doing what she’s doing, but then her lips touch mine, and I’m lost.
I pull her against me, holding her up, her arms wrap around my shoulders, the kiss so tender turns hungry. It is the most powerful, magical, transcendent moment. I am completely lost to her. She is mine, and I, from now until forever, am hers.
Her scent, one of wild woods, fills my nose and lungs; it dances on my tongue.
I know I will never forget that scent. Or this omega in my arms.
She pulls back.
“I’ll come back,” she promises. “Next winter, I’ll come back, and if you’re here, I’ll give you my name, and we will stay together forever, if you want that? It is us written in the fabric of eternity; I can feel it. I will come for you, my Alpha.”
I turn as she backs away, keeping her in sight.
When she disappears, I change and chase her, but she’s gone like she never existed.
I wait on the hill, staring up at the stars. The winter snow is soft, drifting down around in swirls that I think she will love. I wipe my hands on my long white robes and then quickly smooth them, adjusting them so I look perfect.
The stars fade, and the sun rises, and my nervous excitement fades to a deep sense of dread.
Why didn’t we exchange names? Where is she? Maybe this was a game to her? No, she liked me, that kiss was everything, those moments we shared, it was like we were one. She would be here if she could.
“I’ll wait.”
For three days and nights, I stand on the hill as the snow turns to jagged shards of ice, and my temper fades to despair, throwing me into a maelstrom of my devastating thoughts.
She hasn’t come.
Something has happened.
I don’t even know where to start looking.
I search the frozen forests, retracing our paths. The creatures that live there hide deep in their burrows, barely daring to breathe until I pass. I leave an icy world of devastation in my wake.
I go to the beach, and the waves freeze solid, like a picture snapped in time. But upon the shore, it is only I and the endless sand. The salt on my tongue, the cold in the air, the bitter howling of gale force winds, and the bleak emptiness of my chest.
For three long months, I re-walk our paths.
She never returns. There is no sign of my omega.
The howls of my longing and pain last well into spring, but no one dares approach me; no one dares tell me about where my love has gone.
And even though I scream and call to the worlds, I find no answers.
In desperation, I go to a place I’ve not been in decades, walking into the gold and cream elegance that is the Hall of Petitions. The gods see me and step back, nervous, fearful.
I slam into the hall, and the High Alpha, Beta, and Omega stop themselves mid-word. The Alpha is the God of Music, and he’s a slim and uniquely handsome male who I have never met before.
“I am looking for an omega with long white hair. She doesn’t talk much, but when she smiles, she lights up the world.”
The beta clears her throat, looking between her companions. She’s got curly red hair and is the Fire Goddess. Her name is Sorcha, and we have met before, a long time ago. She has a brother; I believe.
“That could be any number of omegas, Alpha Winter.”
“She smells like wild forests. She’s unlike any omega, and she’s old.”
Sorcha’s eyes shift, and she presses her lips together. “Perhaps we could talk after.”
I scowl and step into the room, leaving a trail of ice. Gods and goddesses of all three designations gasp and flee.
“Would you allow me to talk with Alpha Winter privately?” she asks the alpha and omega beside her.
They both stand and graciously walk out of the room with a dignity that I would admire were it any other situation. They also leave the stench of their fear behind.
She takes my arm and yanks it back as if she’s been burned. “Alpha of Winter, I must ask a favour of you. I do not know what happened to the omega you seek, nor do I know who she is, but you must, you absolutely must not draw attention to the missing gods and goddesses.”
I stare at her.
“What?”
Gods? Goddesses? Plural?
Her eyes shift, and she shakes her head, sending a whole array of auburn curls sparking.
“Beta, where is your counterpart? Why can’t I feel your connection? Where is the Alpha of Fire?” I ask in a low, aggressive tone.
She throws herself at me, slamming a hand on my mouth, looking around fearfully.
“I have one year left. You must not talk about it. No one can know.”
I pull back, frustrated. “Where is the Fire Alpha?”
She shakes her head. “I can’t tell you.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“Both, if you need answers,” she hesitates and then looks up at me like she’s measuring what kind of god I am. “If you need answers, search quietly. Do not draw attention to them, and when the one with the answers comes, listen to her, even if she speaks in dreams.”
“Who?”
She backs away, her body turning to smoke with her stress. “The All-Seer.”
I turn and storm from the hall. At least I have something to search for.
No one knows who she is.
No one knows anything.
She’s just gone.
And a part of me that she brought to life starts screaming inside me. She is mine.
And I am hers.
So, where is she?
But the world I live in doesn’t even have a record of her, so I change course, and I start actively hunting the All-Seer. She is going to tell me everything.
Or I will destroy her.
Cadel
The Alpha God of Winter
The Anarchy Wolf
Present Time
I look down at the alpha who is currently, for all intents and purposes, dead.
My instinct is to leave him. What do I care about him, but the auburn hair reminds me of the beta I knew so long ago.
This is the Alpha God of Fire who went with my omega without question, who has died and suffered alongside her.
A huge part of me despises him for having gotten to spend all this time with her, but as soon as I acknowledge that feeling, I realise it’s envy, not hate.
Mordecai presses down on his chest, over and over, while I consider my options. I’ve seen the way she looks at him.
I don’t want her to have them, but I don’t want her unhappy more.
I kneel on the other side of Jarek. There is something I can do, but it will change everything.
“Aren’t you a god? Why are you hesitating?” Mordecai snarls.
It occurs to me they don’t know who they are. Yet.
“I can’t control the spill of my powers here; they will react in ways I can’t understand and have no intention behind, and I’m not sure how many times I’ll be able to access it.”
“It doesn’t matter. He can’t die.”
“Okay.”
I put a hand on Jarek’s chest and let my power flow from me to him.
As soon as I open the channel, I realise my mistake, which is as I expected.
The power is too much for this frail body.
It rips out, pours into Jarek and Mordecai, who is still touching him, and then it spreads out further.
It reaches for all people; all I can do is direct it.
Not them.
But everyone else is touched.
My body is on fire. I’m drowning in ice.
Kaida!
The power snaps back to me, and I reel backwards, falling, tripping, stumbling into the abyss.
Except a hand grabs mine. A smack of power that holds me here.
Dark strength buried where it shouldn’t be. When I open my eyes, I look into the eyes of the Alpha God of the Hunt.
He drags me back, and then heat hits me, and Jarek sits up with flames in his hair and puts his hand over Mordecai’s.
A bond sears up, a mate bond, an alpha bond. We are pack, and now whatever happens, we always will be.