Chapter 55
Your stars are still there
We laughed and smiled, almost forgetting who we were during the feast Bear threw us a day after our vows. I’ve never had so much choice, thick meaty stew, grilled fish, roasted veggies with herbs that made them taste divine. I haven’t eaten so well in years.
The fiddle player came out after we’d mostly finished eating, laughing with his friends as he tuned the instrument. I watched, like I watched families eating, those people at markets living. It’s a world I have never been able to experience.
When he starts to play, I forget food; I forget everything. All I can do is watch, mesmerized. The music is low and soft, poignant. I lean against Mordecai’s shoulder and sigh as the melody swirls around us.
“It’s so beautiful,” I whisper.
Music is rare; it’s been rare in my life because it draws attention; it brings people together, and groups of people bring the Beta’s Path. So, instead of singing, whistling, or playing music, silence became our lifestyle and music something that was a dream.
I don’t even know any songs, but I do know that it’s beautiful.
“What are you thinking?” Mordecai asks.
“I’m thinking that I will never forget this night. I’ve never had a night like it. Food, music, friends.”
Mordecai looks startled for a second, but then he closes his hand over mine and stands up, pulling me with him.
“What are we doing?” I ask with a nervous glance at Jarek.
“Dancing. It’s on the list.”
“You can dance?” I ask, glancing back at the others as he tugs me towards the fire.
“Yes, I can, and I’ll show you how.”
The last time I danced was with Walker, and it was more us jumping around. I don’t say that, though. Mordecai pulls me into his arms, and then the fiddle starts again, this time playing a fast, lively tune.
Mia sings, her voice deep and rich and so beautiful I want to cry. More people get up and join us, but I’m lost in the music, the spinning, and the alpha that has me in his arms.
When that song ends, another starts, and this time, more people sing.
“How do they all know the words?” I ask Mordecai, laughing.
“It’s what we do when we get together. We sing, we enjoy each other’s company, life. It’s important to remember to live, too.”
I stare up at him, wondering when my life turned from living to surviving. Maybe it was always about survival. Living in Beta City was like living as a bug, scurrying away whenever they turned over a rock and discovered us.
“I don’t know any songs,” I whisper.
Mordecai’s smile is soft and forgiving. He pulls me closer and wraps his arms around me. “I can teach you.”
The relief and lack of judgement loosens the metal bands wrapped around my chest. “Thank you.”
“You’re more than welcome, Kaida.”
“Why don’t you ever call me Keres? Everyone else does. But even from the start, you refused to do so.”
“When I looked at you for the first time, I felt like my entire world shifted, and when I realised who you were and the fact that the universe knew who you were, I didn’t want to be like the rest of the world, I wanted to stand out so you would look at me and see someone different.”
“Did you think I could look past you?” I reach up, brushing my fingers through his hair.
“I don’t know, but I was scared you would.
I’m just Mordecai Haspian, and you are the Kaida Keres who walked into the citadel to save her family and friends, who escaped six months later and managed to evade the entire force of the Beta’s Path for almost five years.
You are a legend. Why would you ever look at me? ”
We’ve stopped moving.
“You are so much more than you know, Kaida, and I am simply happy to be by your side.”
I open my mouth to reply, to say something, but the words, all the emotion, is locked in my chest, and I can’t get it out.
He pulls me into his chest and wipes my tears away gently.
“You were alone for so long, too long. But you don’t have to be anymore. I will stay by your side.”
“Are you sure? It’s no music, running, and fear?”
“Yes, I’m sure,” he laughs. “Kaida, you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried. Jarek and Cadel either. You are stuck with us, no matter what happens.”
“And when they come for me?” I whisper.
“We’ll be standing beside you,” he says grimly. “You won’t ever have to face the Path alone. Not again.”
“Mordecai,” I whisper, “you are going to have to kiss me now.”
He laughs as he ducks down and does just that.
When he pulls back, he pulls me into another energetic dance before Jarek takes over. Cadel sits in the dark, his eyes glowing, watching me like a hungry wolf.
I have never been so happy.
I throw my head back and laugh as I’m whirled around. The sound of my happiness is something new, something scary, but I’m willing to dive in head first. If I can only live for a day, let it be today.
They are, after all, by my side.
Gradually, everyone quiets and departs one by one, leaving us alone by the fire.
“Cadel, tell us a story,” I say.
“I don’t know any happy stories,” he says softly. “Only sad ones.”
I ponder it for a while, but there’s something I need to know, even though I know it’s going to upset him to tell me. “Can you tell me how you ended up on the rock?”
Cadel stills, and then he sits back, staring at me. “You really want this story?”
“Yes.”
He purses his lips and looks at the ground for a while before huffing.
“It started because I was looking for someone, and a person I trusted told me that if I wanted the power to find this person, then I needed to become the High Alpha.”
“You were the High Alpha? The god in charge of granting petitions?” I sit up, looking at him with awe. “Was it amazing?”
“It was boring. A lot of paperwork and lots of rules I had to follow. We were nearing the end of my fifty-year cycle, and I was bored and upset. I didn’t have the power to find this person. I had been deceived,” he says bitterly.
He bites his lower lip and, to my surprise, Mordecai moves beside him, taking his hand.
“So, what did you do?” I ask warily.
“I went to a party.”
“A party?” I sit back, wrinkling my nose.
“Yes, a party, and I had a glass of wine.”
The way he says that makes me think something awful happened.
“It was drugged. They offered to take me to Earth so I could stand on the God’s Rock and look around.
I had to come; the person I was looking for was here, and I just needed a chance to see them, even if it was for a few seconds.
” His words are stilted and tight, almost like it’s hard for him to speak.
“It had been so long, and I was dying without them.”
“Wait, wait, wait, what’s a god's rock?” I interrupt, trying to ignore the pang his words elicit.
“It’s the only place a god can stand without falling. It’s like a safe spot to visit without losing our powers.”
“How big is it?” Jarek asks.
“About six feet by twelve feet.” Cadel murmurs. “So, I landed, and as soon as I turned around, the High Beta threw cursed chains at me.”
I stare at him, trying to imagine that. I saw those chains and how heavy they were on him.
“By leaving, I allowed them to overpower the rest of the gods. If I hadn’t left, they would never have been able to challenge me.” He explains it simply, not trying to hide or excuse himself. I wish he would.
“Cadel,” I murmur, aching for him.
He shakes his head. “Listen to all of it before you start pitying me.”
“The gods didn’t abandon you. They didn’t disappear. The gods died.”
I go stock still, staring at him. “What?”
“The gods fell to Earth with their throats cut, dead and or dying. Nothing short of a miracle will be able to revive them. They didn’t leave voluntarily; they were murdered by the High Beta, or as murdered as they can get.
To truly destroy a god’s essence, you need an alpha and omega god to do it together.
But they are encased in stone, not breathing, not dreaming, not living. ”
“The end of the world didn’t start with our world but with yours?” I ask in disbelief.
He looks up at me as if he wants to say something but doesn’t. In the end, he turns away, looking into the fire.
“I was stuck on that rock while they fell, dying around me. Everyone I had known and all the gods I was responsible for.”
I reach out and take his hand, holding on. “It’s not your fault she was evil.” I open my mouth and freeze, a thought occurring to me. “Do we know why she is doing this? The possessing people is creepy, but knowing she’s killing people in two worlds…what even is that?”
“No idea,” Cadel barks out a laugh. “I didn’t even know how wrong things were going to go until I was holding those chains. It was a complete surprise. I was blind and foolish.” Cadel lowers his head, but when he tries to move away from me, I hold tighter to his hand and lean into him.
“So, she possesses bodies. How does that work?” Mordecai asks.
“Either she never came down or she’s found her own rock to perch on, but if she’s fallen, she would have lost her powers.”
“Would she?” I ask. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, when we fall, our bodies become…less. Our power becomes a torrent that blasts through our bodies much like floodwaters break the banks. It cannot be controlled or harnessed. You just kind of point and hope. That’s what happened to me. Or you lose all of it and become human.”
“Is that how we ended up as wolves?” Jarek murmurs.
Cadel flicks me an amused smile. “Yes, that was not intentional; I was just trying to save your life.”
“And I appreciate it,” Jarek says with a wink that makes Cadel grin wider.
Cadel rubs his face. “There’s something else.”
“Oh?”
“I think the Ravage Virus might have been a result of the gods falling and mixing with my power when I landed here. It would have been like a massive shock wave that expanded out in ripples from where I was.”
“The Ravage Virus? But that was a human virus, right? The one that ended our world?” I look between them, and, once again, I get the feeling that they are keeping things from me. “Are you going to tell me?”
Cadel shakes his head. “You need to remember on your own. No one can jog your memory.”
I grind my teeth, frustrated. “So, your power leaching out of you caused this virus?”
“I’m speculating based on what she told me.
I think the gods dying mutated it and turned it deadly, especially as most of the gods who died were alphas and omegas.
Instead of it becoming a power that changes, it became one that caused chaos and death.
I’ve thought about it a lot. I wish I could undo it. ”
“How did it stop being so deadly?” I ask.
Jarek, Mordecai, and Cadel exchange a look filled with knowledge.
“It’s—”
“Need to know?” I snap.
“Yes, sorry.”
“You didn’t intend to hurt us, did you?” I say, staring at his face and watching for the truth.
“To be honest, I didn’t even know that I was hurting you.”
He’s telling the truth; I can feel it.
“Well, there you go. You’re innocent.”
“That’s not how everyone else would see it,” Jarek says. “If they even think someone is on the other side, they want them dead.”
I stare at Cadel. “Then we tell no one. This stays between the four of us forever. We never speak of it again.”
Cadel turns to me and really studies me. “You would do that?” He seems baffled by it.
“Yes,” I breathe. “Whatever secrets we need to protect to keep us safe, I would gladly bear the weight of.”
He turns and pulls me into his arms. I let out a squeak but wrap my arms around him, holding on tight.
“There is no one more generous than you, Omega.”
I shiver as he leans in and inhales my barely-there scent straight off my bare skin. My cheeks heat, and I brush my fingers through his silky hair.
The story sits with me, niggling and prodding loose thoughts and fragments of memories.
I remember my mother sitting in our kitchen baking and telling me about the Night of Falling Stars. She’d made it sound so epic and romantic. She’d told me to remember the story, to never forget it.
If they are dead, what does that mean for us? How can we undo this, and why is Cadel alive?
I look up at the sky. “If the gods died, then the stars are still there, right?”
Cadel lifts his head, looking at me. “Yes, your stars are still there.”
“Why can't we see them then?”
Cadel looks up at the grey sky. “I don’t know.”