Chapter 57
Over my dead body
The traps are empty.
Not just empty but destroyed. A niggling, uneasy thought is tapping at the back of my mind, but I haven’t voiced it yet, even if my unease is making it almost impossible to ignore.
Cadel is not quiet exactly, but he’s gone silent when no one is talking to him directly, withdrawing into himself, his gaze roving over the ground, looking at the leaves and dirt in a way that none of the rest of us understand.
Mia is red-faced and frustrated, grabbing and hauling the traps in one by one before throwing them out again. She’s muttering under her breath, but Legion is still, his eyes seeking the dark places, peering into them, searching for something or someone.
Everyone feels the something wrong.
“We should head back,” I say.
“No, we have mouths to feed,” Mia says almost desperately. She glances at Legion and back at the fish pot she’s about to drop back in the river.
I clamp my mouth shut and start moving around like I would if I were in Foreen, tense, ready to react. I didn’t realise how nice the last couple of days were, not living in such a volatile situation.
“How did you escape the citadel?” Legion asks.
I can almost feel all the heads turn towards me. I find it ironic that it was his story that triggered me to start questioning it myself.
“It’s not an interesting story.” I try to deflect.
“They never are, but I’d still be interested in hearing it, as a distraction.”
I look down and see that his knuckles are white on his knife. He needs to know more than he’s letting on.
I sigh and indicate the path. “Let’s walk and talk.”
Mia is ahead of us now, huffing and puffing
“I went to the citadel because I saw a baron watching my family. He turned and ran, and I knew I had to get to him before he reached the citadel. I chased him. Oh, it was so stupid, but I would do it again. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do, stop him, plead with him, kill him.
Of course, I couldn’t catch him. I thought I could make a deal.
No, I did make a deal; they just didn’t honour it. ”
“Heathens,” Legion hisses.
I snort a laugh. “I thought so, too, after. The Beta’s Voice is the one who heard me out and made the deal, but then she gave me to the Beta’s Fang.
That was when I saw that…” I trail off, remembering the look of horror on Walker’s face when I’d walked into the citadel.
My shock as I stared at him as he was led in.
“Anyway, the torture,” I stutter over the word and curse myself for it, “was intense and fairly constant. I thought he would kill me, but he kept me alive. The first couple of months were hell. I couldn’t talk because I just used to scream so much.
I grew weak; light hurt my eyes because they kept me in the dark.
The sound of people screaming never stopped.
I tried calling out a few times, but no one answered. ”
Legion is silent, but he looks like he might throw up.
“After a while, I got used to the pain, started detecting patterns, and I started thinking logically again.”
“They didn’t break you.”
“I guess not. They came close, but I didn’t want to die there.”
“So, what did you do?”
Mordecai, Jarek, and Cadel are listening intently, but I can’t look at them. The fact that my scent is blocked is the only reason no one can smell my fear and shame. If I look at them, they will see it.
“I knew they would make a mistake one day, get complacent and forget something important. So, I just waited, and one day, someone unlocked the door to come in but got called away. I ran, hobbled, dragged myself. At every corner, I expected to be captured, to hear a shout and have someone discover me, but they didn’t.
I made it up to the courtyard, and there was this cart full of bags.
I jumped in and hid in the back. When he got out of the city, I jumped out and went into the wilds to die. ”
“Except you didn’t.”
“No,” I say with a frown. “It was strange. I was sick, delirious for days. I couldn’t see properly; my body was bent and broken; I had several broken bones and so many bruises my body was black and purple.
My fingernails were missing, and I couldn’t talk, only make a rasping sound. My fear was so intense I smelled sour.”
“What happened?”
“I healed. I just slowly, over hours, weeks, months, healed until I could walk then run, whisper then talk, until my wounds healed and my bones mended. The fear I was able to push down, and the longer I stayed free, the more confident I got.”
Legion makes a sound.
I look at him and smile. “Don’t feel sorry for me, Legion. I’m alive. There are so many who went into that hellhole who didn’t.”
“I know,” he says gently, “but I have the capacity to feel sorrow for them and for you. I am sorry that happened to you. So sorry. But who opened the—”
“Legion! Get over here!” Mia shouts.
“She’s got to stop shouting my name,” Legion mutters but jogs away from me.
“Was that a hard story to tell?” Cadel asks, rubbing a hand up my spine.
I squint up at the canopy. “Yes, and no. It’s hard to talk about what happened there, but I survived, and I used to think that surviving was just because I was lucky and fate picked me.
There was nothing special about being a survivor.
Now, I can look at it and go, well, I fought to stay alive and sane.
In the dark, minute after minute, I clung to who I was, and I didn’t give up, and maybe I should be proud of that.
But to be proud of it, I have to admit it happened, and I’ve been avoiding it for so long. ”
“Be proud. You inspired an entire Resistance.”
We round a corner of the path we’re walking on and find Mia wrestling with a massive three-headed cat. I take in the situation in a second, and I can’t let her kill it.
“What are you going to do with that?” I ask her.
“Eat it.”
I wrinkle my nose and shake my head, protesting. “No, let it go.”
Mia turns, letting it go. It’s still got a rope wrapped around its paws, and all three heads hiss wildly. Flashes of me trying to get to Jarek bloom in my mind. I hear my screams and see the blood pooling.
“We’re all hungry; people need to eat,” Mia snaps.
I stare at the cat. They used to stay with me when I was wild. They are so filled with curiosity and are absolutely adorable when they aren’t terrified. It pulls, fighting and struggling.
I break out into a sweat.
“Let it go, Mia,” I say in a deep voice.
“The Resistance needs to eat.” She turns and makes for it again.
I pull a knife and throw it. My aim is deadly. I know because I spent five years practicing. It cuts the rope off the cat, and before Mia can say anything, it’s gone with a flash of a bushy tail.
She turns on me. “We need food.”
“We have plenty of food. You don’t need more right now; it's wasteful. That animal’s life is important to this world.”
Mia lets out a stifled shriek. Sophie stares after her.
“I think she’s struggling with everything.”
“She’s not the only one,” I mutter.
We spent the whole day checking traps, but every single one had been tampered with, except the one that held the cat. The unease within me has turned to apprehension.
I can almost feel them here. Behind every rock and tree.
We head back, but I linger, watching the shadows, watching for movement that doesn’t belong.
“Kaida?” Cadel whispers. “We’re not going to find them.”
“They are here somewhere.”
“I don’t doubt it, but not right now. We need to get back before we give away the Resistance to the Path.”
With reluctance, I allow him to lead me back to the cliffs, where we slip between them. Bear is waiting for us when we enter, and as soon as he sees Sophie, he wraps her up in a hug.
Legion, Mordecai, and Mia rush off to inform Bear of what happened.
I look around and then do it again. I turn and start rushing from tent to tent, looking inside.
“What’s the matter?”
“There are fewer people, like, a lot less,” I murmur. “Theo has finally left.”
My skin prickles, and I look again. It’s strange, but the people left behind are old and young. Why would he leave the children?
I rub my chin and glance at Bear, wondering exactly what his plan is. It’s ridiculous to think that he’s not informed of this, and yet, he’s so distracted, is it possible he missed it?
The unease sits heavy in my body, and it’s clear that it’s affecting Jarek, Mordecai, and Cadel. They are low-key growling and staying in almost a circle around me. I snatch off my suppressant patch, and they do the same.
If something’s going to happen, I need all my senses.
They are all staying close to me, glancing back frequently.
Bear shouts something, drawing a whole heap of eyes to him. “I don’t know. He drugged us and left. Everyone went with him.”
I glance at Jarek.
Without a word to anyone, I start walking around the camp, counting who is left. There are twenty-five children, thirty people who are injured or disabled, and forty who are over the age of sixty. But there are a whole lot of middle-aged women who look like they are the mothers of the children.
They sit quietly with their heads down, fear in their eyes and movements.
“Every fighter they have is gone,” Jarek says under his breath.
“If we leave, we’re leaving everyone defenseless.”
I nod absently, looking at the rock walls. I jolt, remembering the cave. “Come with me.”
They follow me up to where Bear brought me to talk, and I show them the cave. It’s deep and dark, but it could hold almost everyone.
“If we can move that rock and half cover the entrance, we could hide it completely.”
“Or we seal them in.”
I hesitate, thinking of all the what ifs. What if we never came back? What if we couldn’t move it once we put it there?
“Okay, we seal them in,” I say grudgingly. “People will come back; they will know to check,” I tell myself. “Someone will come for them.”
“When?” Jarek murmurs. “We have to time it right.”
“We need to get everything in there, supplies, water, food, blankets,” I mutter. “Fire. We can’t leave that many people alone in the cave without supplies. It could be weeks.”
I turn and find Bear behind me. His expression is grim and filled with despair. It’s like the fight has gone out of him.
“How did it get to this?” he whispers. “We were so full of hope and so determined to beat them. How is it that now we are desperately hiding our people and hoping for the best?”
“Bear, I’m sorry,” Cadel says gently. “You have been a brilliant leader, strong, firm, and you have sacrificed. No one could ask more of you. The alpha gods would be proud.”
I look at him sideways, all sorts of proud of him.
Bear swallows hard and nods. “I hope they are. I have tried my best to honour the old ways.”
“You have done an amazing job,” Cadel reaffirms.
“Do it. Let’s do it. Tonight. From what Mia said, they know our location, so they will come when we least suspect it.” He frowns. “There are two entrances to the valley: the one you came through, and the one Theo left through. I’ve sent Kendric to find Theo and warn him.”
Bear stops talking, looking at us. “If you want to get out of this, you should leave now. This isn’t your fight.”
“It is our fight,” I say firmly. “I’m an omega; that makes it my fight. We’re not leaving.”
He looks so relieved at that.
“Besides, if you can, just barter me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Mordecai snaps in a voice of thunder.
“If it will save lives, it would be better to hand me over to them.”
Mordecai grabs my top and yanks me up against him. “Over my dead body.”
I smile up at him. “You are so attractive when you are being bossy.”
“You just like it when I get snarly.”
“I do.”
“Don’t die on me, Kaida.”
“I’m not dying. We made promises and plans. We’re going to get out of this. I’m not worried.”
I’m very worried, but I’m not letting this alpha of mine see it. Not a chance.
We work fast, but even with us working that hard, it takes us well into the night to get everything down there.
Bear sets people to dismantling half the tents.
It’s a slow and arduous task.
At one point, I stop, looking at all the people rushing around, and realise I have a great big pit in my chest. I was happy.
For a moment there, I had a glimpse of a future, a life that I want desperately.
The angry part of me doesn’t feel as angry; the bitterness is not so bitter.
Being around people isn’t awful. I put a hand to my chest, feeling my heart beat.
They healed something in me, and I don’t feel as broken as I used to. Even my fear is tinged with hope.
We keep working, though, not stopping, not until a familiar face appears on the path into the valley. He clutches the rocks, smearing blood across them, his chest heaving.
“They’re coming!” Ellion screams and drops to his knees and dies, the arrows in his back stealing his life.