Chapter 61
Luna Omega
The Luna Omega Goddess
Thousands of years before The Night of Falling Stars
I smile as I look back, seeing him standing in a flurry of snow.
He’s there one minute, and then he’s gone.
I turn away regretfully, biting my lip as doubts grab hold of me and leave me hesitating where I have never faltered before.
Feeling this way is not something I expected; it’s not something I ever dreamed of happening.
I barely ever leave my home territory, rarely speak to the other gods, participate even less.
Who is he?
I’ve been calling him my Winter Wolf because he has this look that makes you feel hunted, but when he’s around, the snow is softer, more playful. The winter isn’t as fierce. Not that I noticed much other than him.
Waiting will be good for me. It will give me moments and days to anticipate our reunion. I fear once we are together again, I won’t ever be able to let him go.
I walk through the woods, listening to the sounds of the spring blooming across the world. The chatter of birds, the happy prayers of the people from Earth whispering across fields of flowers and, for the first time in so long, I am interested.
I want to touch the grass, to answer those prayers, pause and look upon the beauty of flowers blooming.
Sadly, I rarely, if ever, have any humans born into my care, so I have no prayers to answer, but maybe someone else will let me try. It could be fun.
My musings come to a halt abruptly. She wasn’t there. But she is now.
Her hair is silver and hangs to her waist. She’s got an ageless face with very pale or white eyes, but she’s not smiling at me.
“Luna Omega.”
She bows. To me. How strange.
“I am sorry; I do not know who you are.”
“I am the All-Seer, and I am afraid that I have need of you.”
“Me?” I laugh. “No one has needed me in…” I try to recall, “well, it has been a long time.”
She steps towards me, and I get this sudden sensation like I should run and get away from her as fast as I can. It’s so strong that I take a step back, but common sense returns, and I stop myself.
“Luna Omega, Goddess, the First Omega,” she whispers my names, and then drops to her knees before me. “Forgive me.”
“For what?”
“For everything that will happen next.”
I frown, shifting my silk dress so I can kneel in the grass beside her. “Let me help you. You seem like you need a hand.”
“You would help me? Just like that?”
She is almost speechless.
“I would,” I smile encouragingly at her, and, to my surprise, she reaches out and grabs hold of my hands.
That’s two people who have touched me, held my hand, been kind to me. I must have done something right. What a wonderful time to be alive!
“Walk with me, and let’s talk this through. I’m sure we can come to an understanding,” I say with a smile and help her up.
We walk, and she’s silent for so long that I wonder if she’s even going to speak.
“The human world is getting too far away. Their problems are becoming so big that we almost cannot touch them.”
I laugh. “How is that a problem? They are growing like children; we need to let them learn to fly.”
She’s shaking her head before I’ve even finished speaking.
“They are cruel to each other, they still need us. It’s not time for them to walk alone yet.
But further, our worlds exist intrinsically.
The further apart we are, the more we will both fall.
If their world should fail, Remmilow will as well. ”
I puzzle over that. “What would you do?”
“The Petition has been debating for some three hundred days, trying to find a god who would be able to achieve fixing this issue.”
I smile, still not sure what she means. “Did you find someone?”
“We did.”
She’s stopped walking, and she’s staring at my hands, her eyes lowered where I can’t read them.
“Oh.” I swallow hard. “You mean me?”
“I do mean you. You are the oldest, the wisest, the strongest. Only you would be able to save them.”
I shake my head. “I am a reclusive goddess who knows nothing about the world.”
“But you know what it’s like to be an omega. You know what is right and what is wrong.”
I shake my head, baffled and amused by her strange request.
“So, you want me to go there and speak to them?” I ask. “What shall I say?”
She shakes her head, sadness leaching into her aura. “No, I need you to fall. I need you to go to this world and live there, being reborn human, time and time again, over and over. When they are in trouble, you will be there to guide and help them return to the right path.”
I stare at her.
“You want me to give up being all that I am?”
She lowers her head. “Yes.”
“And I would go alone?”
“Maybe, maybe not, but you would have to make this decision knowing that you might not have company with you.”
I step back from her, lifting my shaking hand to my chest. “No, I mean, I can’t. This is my home, my life, my powers. You ask too much.”
“I know. But I have seen terrible things, evil that spreads across the worlds and destroys this one. Our home blighted and dry. Not a single leaf of green, gods lying dead in dusty fields.”
The title and name All-Seer suddenly blooms into my mind. The legendary and mysterious omega who is older even than I. No one knows where she and her ilk came from, just that they were, and they have gifts even we can’t fathom. People think I’m the oldest, but it’s not true, though few remember.
“Could I come home one day?” I whisper.
“No,” she says sadly. “This would no longer be your home. You would no longer be a goddess.”
I sniff, trying to fathom it. “But will it save all those lives? On both worlds?”
“It will save so many lives. You will be a bastion of hope, a light in the dark; people who do not know the Luna Omega will remember your name. You will be the moon, and you will illuminate the dark heart of the world and lead it back to balance.”
“It will hurt, won’t it?” I murmur.
She stares at me. “Your lives will be painful, but it will be worth it in the end. For what you save.”
I turn away, looking at the forest and feeling a deep grief that I will never see it again. It’s not a question of if. I am going. We both know it. The green leaves glow with health, the flowers bloom, and all around me, I hear the sounds of the world that I will soon depart from.
“If it helps, I have seen your scent matches, and I will send them with you. If I can.”
I whip around. “Really?”
It’s impossible not to think of my Winter Wolf. If he’s with me, I can do anything. I know I can.
“Yes,” I say. “I will fall to save the worlds.”
She smiles, but it’s a sad and bitter kind of smile.
“He’s not here,” I tell her again after the Alpha God of the Hunt steps through and gives up his god powers. “You said my scent mates, but he’s not here.”
The All-Seer looks speechless. “If you fell in love with another god, it is not a scent match; it is simply love of the heart.”
I shake my head. “You’re wrong. He is mine.”
“Impossible; my visions are never wrong. You have two scent matches, and they are waiting for you.”
“I have three!” I say to her, trying not to whine.
My eyes well with tears, and I turn frantically towards the forest. I don’t know his name; it was a coy game, just a way to play with him. How stupid can I be? I should have asked. I should have found out.
“He’s going to be waiting for me. When winter comes, he will be waiting, and I won’t be there.”
Her eyes sharpen. “I will find him and tell him.”
I turn away, gripping the fabric of my gown and clenching hard. I want to scream. How can this be happening?
“Do you know the difference between falling and not?” she asks.
“No.” I want to snap at her, shout that I don’t care.
My wolf.
My Winter Wolf.
“There are four different ways for gods to be on Earth with the humans. The first is to possess the body, but due to the power of the god, it burns through the human too fast, and they will find themselves dying, sometimes in hours. The stronger the god, the faster it happens. A god essentially puts their consciousness and spirit into the body of the human. It is one of the most cruel and evil acts as the human suffers inside while the gods presence burns it alive.”
“Okay,” I say, wondering why she’s telling me this.
“The second way is called temporary placement. It’s where the mind of the god is put into a human body that has been damaged or has lost its human soul.
It allows the god to take over a body and hide inside.
That body and mind is directly tethered to the gods sleeping consciousness.
When the god is killed in their human shell, they wake up here, back home, but it changes them.
Being human leaves them a little more fragile and unstable.
“There’s a third way called spiriting, and it’s where the consciousness of the god is born into a human body, but the gods body must be tended, it requires trust and is extremely dangerous, often resulting in a disconnection and a burnout of the tether holding the god’s mind to this human body.
“The fourth way is to fall. It is to strip the gods of all their powers and send them down there, to live as a human, forever.” She pauses, thinking.
“There is a final way, but if the god goes to Earth and stays there, he will destabilise the world, his power leaching out, destroying everything. It’s forbidden. ”
I take that in, but it’s the least of my concerns.
“Will I remember who I am?”
“No, not at first and not unless you speak a key phrase or do a behaviour that will unlock your memories.”
“What is it? What would be so strange that it would unlock my memories?”
“You need to pray.”
I stare at her.
“Gods don’t pray often, so for you, in order to remember everything, things need to be bad enough, hopeless enough that you open your mind and adopt their customs, sending hope and faith to a higher being.”
“And then I will remember? Everything?”
“Then you will remember everything. Your life here, your lives as a human, all of them. You will remember me and everything that came to lead you down there, and then, Luna Goddess, you will have to look to yourself, knowing that you can handle this, that the entirety of two worlds put its faith in you to save it.”
My mouth goes dry. I won’t remember him. It hurts even more than I thought it would.
“That is a lot of pressure.”
“I know.”
I bite my bottom lip. “Will I love them?”
“They are your scent matches; you will worship them, and they will worship you. I promise that, in every life, you will find each other. You will not be alone.”
I bite my lower lip and impulsively reach out and grab her hands. “Please take the message to the god who waits for me. Thank you for being so kind, for helping me to understand that there might be some purpose still in my existence, even if it means changing everything and becoming someone else.”
She smiles. “Do you have a name?”
I think for a long time, pondering over it. “Yes, I do. Kaida Keres.”
“No one will remember that you live multiple times, Kaida Keres. No one will recognise your mates. You will be invisible in the world, the warriors and guardians who silently protect it.”
“How are we supposed to fight?” I ask.
She smiles. “That is entirely up to you.”
I let go of her hands and step back. “I guess this is it, then.”
“Good luck.”
She bows to me again, low at the waist, her fingers making the traditional sign of the omega, a circle out of her index finger and thumb. I take one last look around, taking in the birds, the songs, the chill in the air. It’s so beautiful.
“You should go and look at the stars and the snow,” I say. I wipe away a tear that escapes. “I never saw anything so beautiful as the stars shining over a winter wonderland.”
“Goodbye, Luna Omega.”
I step into the dark and fall, screaming as my entire being is ripped apart, leaving me just a dried husk of who I used to be. I am less, so much less.
“The Omega Goddess of the Moon is no more,” the All-Seer’s voice intones, and it echoes across the worlds. Thrumming with grief and satisfaction. I try to hold the memory of my wolf to me, fighting to keep it, but the undoing steals everything, and he’s gone.
All that’s left is a quiet unease that something is missing.
I am dead, and now…I have to be reborn.