Chapter 74
A love letter to Legion
BONUS SCENE
WALKER
Two Years before Cadel is freed
The dreams have been relentless. There’s so much darkness in them, so much pain.
Horrible, awful things that I did and things done to me.
I press one hand to my chest as I kneel on the wooden floor, staring at my other hand, clawing the wood, hoping it can hold me here, ground me to this life, this reality.
“I’m not like that. That’s not me!” I whisper, but the screams and accusations say otherwise. “I don’t know who the Warden is,” I protest, but that, too, is a lie.
The weight of these dreams is poisoning me, night after night. Staying awake doesn’t help, and I can’t bear the thought of talking to anyone about this. I can’t remember how to smile. When I look at my family, I feel like I’m tainting them with my foul aura, seeping corruption into our family home.
I thought getting away would make it easier, but it hasn’t. This market we’re selling the produce at is far enough away that it could easily be called running. The hotel looks nothing like anywhere I’ve been, and yet; I feel like I know this place.
I hear my sister moving, drawn to my unease. She has her alphas, and she’s happy, but she’s always watching over me, and I hate it. We’re twins. She’s older, and sometimes I think I see something in her eyes, some darkness that I recognise, but she never speaks of it.
We’re a novelty, twin shifters with white hair. They like to joke that we are moon-touched. Kaida plays into it; I hate the attention. I just want to get on with my work and get away from all these people I don’t know who are staring at me like they know something.
It’s impossible; they can’t know who I was.
My father had sat me down when we were children and explained about reincarnation. He’d said one thing that stuck with me. It doesn’t matter how bad you were in a past life; you live in this life. Be good to the world, and the world will be good to you.
I have done my best, but the toxin that is the Warden is seeping through, and the whole time I feel like something, someone, is missing.
I slip out of the house and into the dawn before anyone can wake and ask me a million questions about why I’m awake and don’t look like I’ve slept.
The shadows stretch long in front of me, and the chill in the air only helps to lock me in my head.
When I look down, I see black armour and a massive sword that shimmers red with blood.
Screams and pleas explode into my mind.
“Not my memories,” I whisper angrily. “They aren’t mine.”
A massive black warhorse with a mane like a banner looms up in front of me, its neigh calling into the dawn, calling me.
It rears up and then smashes its front legs down, making the earth shake.
I approach it slowly, warily, but as I get closer, it vanishes into thin air. Another ghost of my imagination.
Another nightmare regret to my heart.
I wish we were home.
I rub a hand over my face and pull my jacket tighter around me.
There’s a trail made by game and some humans, and I follow the path, letting it lead me to places unknown. There’s a plain in front of me with long grasses and a massive rock that juts out into the sky.
When I look at that rock, something stabs at me. Recognition? Fear? I don’t know, and I don’t want to recall what it was. When I look up, I think I see a black wolf staring down at me, but when I blink, there’s nothing there. I shiver and back away, unwilling to disturb the past.
The old cities were abandoned after the war.
Most people needed to start again, needing places to live that weren’t soaked in blood, and this ruin is no exception.
The half-buried remains only vaguely show the world that was.
There is something about this place, something that has me wanting to run and get far away from here.
My skin pebbles, and I step backwards, only to stop dead, sure I’m having another waking dream.
He moves past me like a ghost. He’s wearing a loose white shirt and tight pants, but his black hair hangs down to his mid-back, it floats in the wind, I can’t decide if he’s real or not.
“So beautiful,” I whisper.
He makes the noise in my head go silent.
I turn, keeping him in sight. When I realise he’s going to disappear, I follow, unable to stay away, unwilling to lose him.
“Wait!” I cry out before I can stop myself.
He hears me and turns, his eyes deep, dark, and curious, but when he sees me, he stops, his mouth drops open, and I feel this sense of destiny. His eyes are green. I know those eyes.
“Wait, please,” I whisper and stop because something slams into my chest. This agony, this grief that encompasses all of me.
I don’t know anything, just the horrible feeling of loss and longing and that I know him yet I’ve never met him.
That I would die if I lost him.
He steps towards me, and I mirror him, getting closer and closer until we’re almost touching. It shouldn’t be so easy; this is a stranger, but I can’t convince my heart of it.
He inhales shakily. I take in his fine, almost beautiful features, the long lashes, the plumpness of his lower lip.
“Hi,” his voice is full of curiosity and relief.
Does he know me?
“Hi,” I say back because I can’t think of anything else to say.
“I’m Lucian.”
“Walker.”
He smiles, and it transforms my world. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him. But then I catch his wildflower and spices scent, and I’m lost. A heat crawls through my veins, and I lean towards him, trying to get more of that scent into me.
Lucian lets out a whimper, the smallest sound. I reach up slowly, giving him time to stop me if he wants, I cup his cheek.
I should say something, anything, but words fail me. I step into him, ducking down and pressing my lips to his. He opens his mouth, his arms sliding up around me, holding me to him. He kisses me like he’s been drowning, too.
“Thank the gods,” I whisper when I pull away.
A prayer sent up in sheer relief and gratitude. I have never uttered one before.
I stagger as the weight of my memories slam into me. I remember our life. Always on the wrong side, always at odds. We’re supposed to be enemies. Tears stream from down my cheeks as I lose him. The pain and constant search until I find him, only to have him die in my arms.
“Legion,” I breathe. “My stupid, stupid omega. What did you do? Why did you…” I slam our mouths together today, kissing him with all the relief and pain I have in me. “You died for me.”
He tilts his head just slightly and kisses me. “I love you, of course, I did. I am always on your side. My allegiance is to no other.”
I wrap my arms around him, pulling him up against me and bury my face in his shoulder.
He doesn’t complain about my tears or ask me to stop crying. He just holds me, murmuring softly.
“It’s okay. This time is different.”
“How do you know?” I ask with a body-freezing level of panic.
“I had a dream,” he smiles and wipes his tears away. “I had a dream, and a seer told me. This is our reward. A life, a happy one. We get to be together.”
I smash our mouths together again, unable to believe he’s here in my arms and I’m holding him again. “I’m not leaving you.”
“Good. I’m never leaving you. Come on, I need to introduce you to my family and pack because I’m coming home with you.”
He pulls away, but I spin him back, not ready to let go. I stroke his cheeks, staring into his eyes. I don’t have words, luckily, with this omega, I don’t need them.
The sun is high in the sky when we get dressed and make our way back. Our families greet each other like long-lost friends, and as long as he’s close, the darkness stays at bay.
Over the next few years, the memories of our past lives fade away.
We have a new life with our daughter, with Kaida and her pack.
We don’t need to remember the horrible things that happened.
It is a blessing from the gods. I live with Lucian peacefully.
We are good people. We protect and work hard, and life is good.
Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I wake from a nightmare, my palms sweaty, my heart racing, and this feeling that the darkness has a hold of my mind.
But Lucian is there, pulling me back to the light with a smile, compassionate eyes, and a scent that soothes all the feral agony that my soul carries.
When he dies, he dies old and in my arms, surrounded by our family.
I know I won’t survive him for long. Our souls are too entwined.
I feel that grief I once carried, even though I struggle to remember where I would have felt it.
He lived a full life, we both did. I see him in our daughter, grandchildren, and great grandchildren, and I’m happy. Content.
Terribly lonely.
Kaida sits with me. Her skin is wrinkled; her eyes are dull and filmy. Her alphas are gone, too, now. Jarek only passed two days ago, and he smiled right up until the end. Thinking about him has me thinking about my Lucian. I lift a shaky hand and swipe at the moisture in my eyes.
It’s just us; it’s lonely. I am ready. Even though I don’t say these words out loud, she hears them anyway.
“I miss them, but it was a good life,” she murmurs. Her white hair is no longer sleek and shiny, but frizzy and thin. She still commands the power of an omega, though her designation has waned.
“It was the best life. I would not change a single minute with him,” I say sadly.
She smiles. “Shall we go to meet them? Together?”
“Yes, let’s go find them,” I say, and for one beautiful moment, I can see us young and healthy. Walking in the sun. I see him smile at me, his eyes twinkling, the same way he did every time we meet, and for the first time, I am filled with anticipation.
The sun sets on a furious red sunset, as if the world knows tonight will be the last night and it is sending us off in style.
And when the moon rises, it’s fat and yellow, calling to the young wolves who run under the guiding light.
It calls to us, too; the moon-touched wolves, inviting us home.
The stars fill the sky, stretching as far as we can see.
Kaida and I hold hands, listening to what the stars whisper.
One last beautiful night to send us off, the howling wind carries the songs of our beloveds, the air brings back the teasing memories of their scents.
“Come to me, my alpha. Come home,” I hear him say.
“Yes, I’m coming.”
We go to bed, moving our aching bodies through the house to our separate bedrooms, sleeping in the same house again after decades apart. That night, Kaida and I take our last breaths in this life.
Waiting until the time is right and we can take our first breaths in the next.