9. Rami
Rami
Fuck, this was so much harder than I’d anticipated.
My soul was screaming at me to learn everything I could about Ethan. To make the most of each minute spent in his presence by figuring out how to win him over.
But my instincts? They were cautioning me. Warning me not to go in all guns blazing. To take a gentler path.
Even so, it was near fucking impossible to hold my tongue. My mate was in the same room as me. Breathing the same air. I could reach out and touch him. Not that I would. I’d almost combusted simply caressing his wrist under the guise of checking his scars. The scars he no longer had.
Because of me.
I thought he’d noticed. His face had paled while his heart had beaten a little faster. I’d tried to distract him by asking a question, but I didn’t think I’d succeeded.
I hated all of this. I felt like I was lying to Ethan. Hiding who he was to me. What I’d done.
But this was the best way. It was my best hope of keeping him safe.
Even bringing him here today had been tricky thanks to Gloria.
It was why Micah, Breann, Grace, and Noah were all in the skies right now.
Between them, they created an impenetrable barrier.
Nate was monitoring all other activity via technology, while Theo, Nox, and Jeremiah held a ground perimeter.
Benji was also on the ground, constantly checking the wards for any changes.
Only Ez and Sam remained in the house without a task. Sam, because it would be weird if he left given he was the one who’d hired Ethan, and Ez in case he could be useful.
The Seraphim and their mates had my back. None of us were willing to risk Ethan being exposed the same way Sam had been. We were taking precautions and then some.
No one outside of our group would ever know Ethan had been here.
Fucking Gloria. If the chance to take her out without repercussions ever arose, I’d be first in line for the honour. Right along with every other Seraphim.
I watched Ethan from the corner of my eye as he studied the tiny screen on his camera. He had this adorable little crease between his brows as he flicked through the shots he’d taken. Despite his initial nerves, he’d sunk into a place of concentration that was mesmerising to behold.
I still couldn’t believe he was here. That we’d pulled off this crazy plan that meant I got to spend an entire day with my mate.
Okay, so it wasn’t how I’d choose to spend it.
I wanted to spoil Ethan, especially after his comment about not being used to people feeding him.
Cooking was my love language. Ez and I were the chefs in the Seraphim.
We spent hours in the kitchen, preparing meals for those we cared about.
Sometimes, if you couldn’t say something with words, you could say it with food instead.
It had thrilled me to no end to feed Ethan.
I’d been horrified when I’d realised he was planning on just pushing through without taking time to eat or rest. But not as much as I had been by the realisation that this hadn’t occurred to me in the first place.
Thankfully, Ez had been in the kitchen when I’d burst in with the intention, no the need, to provide for my mate.
Between the two of us, we’d thrown together a quick charcuterie board.
It was ironic really, that sign of how we were meant to be, especially given how appreciative Ethan was about the simple meal.
The groan he’d let out…let’s just say, it was a good thing he hadn’t been paying much attention to me.
Wasn’t sure there was any way to hide the erection that sound had given me.
I loved to cook and Ethan loved to eat. Wasn’t much to build a foundation on, but I’d take it. Even if we couldn’t be together, maybe we could be friends. That would be enough.
I’d make sure of it.
“Ready?” Ethan asked.
“Yep.” I smiled. I kept doing that. Not just because being in his presence made me ridiculously happy, but because of how he blushed whenever I did. “Where do you want me?”
His teeth sank into his bottom lip, and I had to will my cock not to harden again as his gaze swept over me, lingering on my abs.
“How about against the wall?”
God, how I wanted to tell him he could have me against the wall. Anywhere he liked, really. From the flush on his cheeks, I suspected his brain had gone there too.
I leaned back against the wood panelling. “Like this? Is this how you want me?”
Okay, so maybe I let my voice dip a little lower than usual. Sue me. I’d always been a flirt. Wasn’t my fault Ethan wasn’t mine to flirt with.
Even if he should be.
Ethan’s eyes shot down to his camera as he fiddled with the lens. “Let’s start with your left foot against the wall. Right arm curled up over your head.”
My heart plummeted as he refused to look at me. Shit, I’d made him uncomfortable. That wasn’t what I wanted.
Dial it back, Rami.
I got into position, focusing on the task at hand. “This okay?”
“Yep.” He threw me the briefest of glances before training his eye on the lens again. “Great.”
Fuck. I’d scared him. I needed to bring us back on a more even keel, get him relaxed around me once more.
I waited until he stopped to switch out his lens before asking the question I’d settled on. “Have you always wanted to do photography?”
“Kind of. My mum got me a camera for my eleventh birthday. I went through a phase of capturing everything I could on film. Even built my own little dark room in my wardrobe.”
“That’s some dedication right there.”
“I guess.” He shrugged. “Didn’t last though.”
“Why not?”
He considered his answer carefully for a few seconds.
“Peer pressure, maybe? I was sixteen and already picked on for being a redhead. Add in that I’d recently realised I was gay, and I was basically a walking advertisement for bullies.
I wasn’t prepared to hide my sexuality or dye my hair…
but giving up the photography was an easy concession to make. ”
It took all my millennia of experience to keep my expression placid. To give no hint that I wanted to hunt down every person who’d ever made this wonderful man feel inferior and tear them to pieces. “Not easy if it’s something you loved.”
The wry smile he gave me had my heart racing faster. “That’s probably why I eventually came back to it. Life’s too short to waste it worrying about what others think.”
“Good,” I said. Ethan’s life was going to be anything but short now I was here, but that was no reason for him to start giving a shit about the opinions of those who didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as him. “Couldn’t agree more. Did you study it at uni?”
“Nah, I took accounting.”
My brows shot up. “Really?”
He smirked at me over his camera. “What? Can’t picture me behind a desk sorting debits from credits?”
“Not really. I don’t know you, obviously, but you just seem so…alive with a camera in your hand. Like you need it to see the world properly. It’s hard to imagine you being happy in something so…lacking in creativity.”
Ethan stared at me for so long that I dropped my arm.
“Fuck. Did I say something wrong?”
“No.” He shook himself before giving me a small smile. “That was an oddly insightful comment. You’re right. I wouldn’t have been happy in accounting.”
“Oddly? How so?”
“Just unexpected, that’s all.” I waited for him to continue, but he just raised his camera. “Pop your arm back up for me. That’s brilliant.”
We fell back into the rhythm of the shoot.
Ethan called out various expressions and I did my best to mimic them, grateful that I had years of experience in subterfuge to draw on.
Being a supe in a unit like the Seraphim meant we were all good at acting, to a certain extent.
You had to be when your very existence was hidden from those around you.
The whole time, I turned what Ethan had said over in my mind, focusing on his choice of words. Why was what I’d said unexpected? Why odd?
I was no closer to unpicking it when Ethan caught me off guard. “Can you do yearning?”
“Yearning?”
“Like you’re staring at something you want desperately but can’t have,” Ethan said, distracted by his camera. “Can you give me that?”
If it wouldn’t have freaked Ethan out, I would’ve laughed hysterically at the irony. “Yeah, Ethan. I can do that.”
It was a relief to not have to hide for a few moments. To let every feeling play out on my face as I stared, not at the camera, but at Ethan.
My chest ached. Maybe this was a bad idea. I might’ve been better off not reminding myself of the precise timbre of his voice. Of the sixteen freckles over the bridge of his nose. Of the shade of green in his eyes that seemed to glimmer when he chuckled.
His gaze went to the little screen as his fingers clicked on a button. “Beautiful. Just beautiful.”
The clouds outside cleared and sunlight streamed through the window. My heart stilled in my chest as it caught the red in Ethan’s hair.
Beautiful indeed.
How I wished he were mine.
This might have been a bad idea, but that didn’t change anything. I’d give everything I had just to relive this moment over and over again.
A knock on the door had both our heads snapping around. It cracked open a few inches before Sam’s face appeared. “Only me!”
“Come on in,” Ethan said, that polite smile reappearing. “Everyone’s decent.”
More’s the pity.
I narrowed my eyes as Ez appeared over Sam’s shoulder. I couldn’t blame him, I supposed. I remembered all too well how excited we’d been to meet Sam when Ez finally brought him home.
He nodded at me, leaning against the doorframe.
Some of the tension in me melted away. Ez might be nosy, but he too remembered what it was like bringing Sam here.
How overwhelming it’d been. Made sense that he didn’t want to subject Ethan to that.
Ez might like to think he was nothing more than a surly fucker with a mean temper, but I knew better.
He was one of the most caring and thoughtful beings I’d ever met.
Who was also surly with a mean temper.
“Just wanted to let you know that we’re all set up in the garden whenever you’re ready,” Sam said. “Zeke can help carry your equipment if you like.”
“Thank you.” Ethan hurried to one of the rigs. “It’s fine, honestly. I’m used to lugging it all around myself.”
Ez’s eyes widened comically as they met mine. I knew we were both thinking the same thing. Just because Ethan was used to doing everything alone didn’t mean he had to. Not now I was in his life.
“Let me,” I said firmly, stepping forwards and plucking the rig from his hands. “Ez, grab the other.”
Ethan gaped at us as we quickly gathered all of his equipment and marched for the door.
Ez waited until we were out of Ethan’s earshot before whispering, “Are you sure this is a good idea, just taking over like this?”
My instincts were telling me it was. That Ethan wasn’t used to being looked after.
But that he wanted to be.
“Yes,” I whispered back. “Trust me.”
“Always,” he murmured, his eyes darting briefly over his shoulder to Ethan and Sam behind us. The two were chatting away, Sam cooing over the shots Ethan showed him as they walked. “He’s cute.”
“I will cut you. Keep your eyes to yourself.”
Ez barked a laugh. “I’m literally mated to the man he’s talking to.”
“I don’t care,” I muttered. “I’ll still poke your eyes out if you look at him like that again.”
There was a quiet crashing sound following by Ethan cursing. I spun around, ready to take down whatever had hurt him, only to find him steadying a vase. “Sorry,” he was saying to Sam, cheeks flaming. “I’m ever so clumsy.”
“You’re fine,” Sam reassured him. “You should’ve knocked it harder. It’s a fucking ugly vase.”
Satisfied that Ethan wasn’t hurt, I reluctantly turned back around as we entered the kitchen, only to come to a halt again when I heard Ethan suddenly ask an unexpected question. “Hmm. Sam, do you have any oil?”
I suppressed a groan as Ez turned to me with a wicked grin. He didn’t need to say the words. Once again, we were on the same wavelength.
My mate was about to rub oil into my naked chest while I pretended he meant nothing. That him touching me meant nothing. That nothing was happening aside from Ethan doing the job he’d been hired to do.
Translation: I was completely and irrevocably fucked.