16. Ethan
Ethan
Isat in the cosy waiting area room of the lodge and wondered how on earth I’d ended up here.
Most of all, I was wondering why I wasn’t more devastated. Dave and I had been together almost the entirety of my adult life so far. Now, I was alone.
A deep laugh from the counter had me smiling softly. Well, not completely alone, I supposed.
Rami thanked the receptionist then hustled to where I was sitting.
“Here,” Rami said, brimming with excitement as he handed me a brochure. “They have all these fun activities we can book. Take a look.”
I skimmed through it. Axe throwing. Spoon carving. Nature hikes. Paddleboarding. A fire feast. “Rami, we can’t do any of these.”
His grin shifted into a pout. “Why not?”
How did I explain that while he might be loaded, I wasn’t? The shoots this week were the first time I’d worked in months. I had some savings, but they’d been whittled away during my time on chemo. The little I had left needed to be put towards a new place to live.
Oh fuck.
I have to find a new place to live.
Nope, not thinking about that now. I’d blocked Dave in the car. Maybe one day I’d want closure, but I didn’t think that would happen for a while.
One step at a time. Reality would still be there in a few days.
Days that I was going to be spending alone with Rami, a model who flirted as easily as he breathed. Who I’d been denying my attraction to and insisting on being friends with.
Because of Dave.
Not really a problem now, is it…?
No, but there were other problems. For a start, I’d been single less than four hours. Hardly the time to be wondering what the sleeping situation in the cottage would be like.
Which brought me around to my most pressing concern. “I can’t afford it, Rami.”
He stared at me. “Is that the only reason you don’t want to?”
I huffed. “It’s a pretty good reason.”
“Yes, but if you could afford to do a couple of activities, which would you choose?”
“Why?”
He smirked. “Humour me.”
Sighing, I looked again at the brochure. “The axe throwing sounds fun, I guess.”
“I agree,” Rami said. “What else?”
“The nature hike. There’d be some great photo opportunities.” Not that I had my camera with me, but still.
Rami hummed in agreement. “I like the look of the Fire Feast too.”
My lips twitched. “There’s no description. It literally just says ‘Fire Feast.’”
“Fire and feasting are two of my favourite activities.”
The question left my lips before I could stop it. “What are the others?”
Heated eyes flicked over me before returning to the pamphlet. “Guess you’ll have to find out. Or not.”
I bit my lower lip. I shouldn’t want to find out. I was so freshly single I hadn’t even processed it yet.
I’m single.
It shouldn’t be this hard to keep Rami in the friendship box. I just wished Rami wasn’t so fucking…nice. And hot.
“Okay, so we have a plan,” he said with a firm nod. “Leave it with me.”
My brows shot up. “Wait, no. I just said —”
“I know what you said.” He put his hand over my mouth. Fuck, it was so big that it covered the entire lower half of my face. I shifted in my seat, begging my cock to stop stiffening. “I’m paying for this. If you really insist, you can pay me back. I’ll accept a pound a week.”
Despite the ridiculous situation, I found myself chuckling as he removed his hand. I had no idea what it was about Rami, he just brought it out in me. “I’ll be in debt to you for a thousand years. You’ll never be rid of me.”
He smirked. “Maybe that’s my plan.”
“Okay, I seriously underestimated how posh this place is,” I said to Rami.
We were back in his car, following a Land Rover through a country estate.
It was so big that apparently guests weren’t trusted to navigate themselves, so a ranger was leading the way.
Or maybe that was just how the other half lived—with everything spoon-fed to them. “I’m not going to fit in.”
“You’ll fit in just fine,” Rami said. “No one will make you uncomfortable with me around. I promise.”
I studied his giant frame from the corner of my eye. All those rippling muscles I’d spent the past few days photographing. He was probably right. It’d take a certain kind of idiot to pick a fight with someone his size.
Rami parked neatly next to the ranger, waving him off with a polite smile when he offered to help us with our bags.
Bags we didn’t have.
Really hope Rami was right about the toiletries and washing facilities.
“Here we are,” the man said brightly he led us up to a quaint, rustic-looking building. “This is Poacher’s Cottage, your home for the next three nights.”
I had to force my jaw not to drop again as he opened the door.
The inside was anything but quaint and rustic.
We stepped into a large room housing a kitchen, dining room table, and a living area.
The central focal point was a beautiful fireplace.
The red tiles were arranged in such a way that it looked as though it had been carved from the centre of a tree.
But it was the outside that drew my attention. Huge bi-fold doors stretched across the entire room, revealing a lake beyond.
The ranger was chattering away about various amenities. I hoped Rami was taking it in, because I was too in awe of the fact that we had a whole fucking lake outside to pay attention.
I stared out across the water, again questioning how my day had ended with me here.
Well, it probably had something to do with Dave fu—
I cut that thought off mid-sentence. I wasn’t ready to deal with…all of that. Not yet. There’d been so much upheaval in my life recently. Too much. My brain couldn’t cope with any more.
So, I just stared at the lake.
I only realised the ranger had left when Rami joined me. “There’s a rowboat.”
My head snapped around. “Seriously?”
“Yep.” He put his hands in his pockets as he smiled almost shyly. “I can take us both out in it later, if you like.”
“I hope it’s a big one. I’m not sure a small one will hold us both.”
“If it helps, Tom said it’s not deep.”
I frowned. “Tom?”
“The ranger. He’s been working here for a decade now. Started right out of university. He loves it because he can fit his hours around being a dad.”
I blinked at him. “When did you find all of that out?”
“Just now.” He reached across me to flick the lock on the doors open. “People have a tendency to open up to me. Think it’s my trustworthy face.”
I’d thought of many adjectives to describe Rami’s face, but trustworthy hadn’t been one of them. It should’ve been, I realised. Why else would I have got in his car and basically run away with him?
I followed him outside onto the decking. To my right, there was a table, chairs, and an outside kitchen. Reclining loungers sat beside a quietly bubbling hot tub.
“It’s so peaceful,” I said, lifting my face to the darkening sky. “I bet we’ll be able to see countless stars in a few hours.”
“Far more than in London, that’s for sure. Shame we don’t have any swimwear with us for the hot tub. There’s a sauna and steam room too.”
I was about to suggest just going in in our underwear, but I bit it back. “Yeah. It’s a shame.”
Rami cleared his throat. “There are two double bedrooms, one upstairs and one down here. Let me know which you’d prefer.
Tom said the bathrooms are stocked with brand-new toothbrushes and other toiletries.
They’ve provided charging cables for us too.
There’re even robes for us to throw on while we wash our clothes. ”
“I’m sorry,” I said suddenly, shaking my head. “Because of me, you’re in the middle of nowhere without even a change of clothes.”
“Or—” He took a step closer to me. “—I’m in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do but spend time with you. Sounds pretty great to me.”
“You barely know me.”
His smile shone on his beautiful face. “Good thing we’ve got three days to rectify that.”
After a quiet dinner that Rami had arranged to have delivered without me even realising, I’d retired to my bedroom. Given he was the one paying for it all, I’d insisted Rami choose which room he took. He’d opted for the one on the ground floor, leaving me to take the one upstairs.
I tossed and turned for hours. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the scene I’d stumbled in on.
A beautiful man, several years younger than myself, hopping desperately into a pair of jeans.
His hair tousled like Dave had been running his hands through it.
Pouty lips swollen from kisses. A faint blush that covered his chest and face.
He looked like me. A younger, healthier, more vibrant version of me. The boy I’d once been.
The boy Dave apparently wanted again.
I sat up with a sigh. It was no use. Sleep wasn’t coming anytime soon. Lying here waiting for it was going to drive me up the wall. My gaze snagged on the stars peeking through the curtains. We’d been right. There were so many more visible than in London.
I padded downstairs. Maybe a few hours thinking about the enormity of the universe would put my problems into perspective. At least I was here to experience this pain. It was better than the alternative I’d been expecting.
There was no sound from Rami’s room when I crept past. Disappointment twinged in my chest. It’d be nice to have company. I hadn’t felt like talking earlier, but I was starting to think I needed to.
Typical of me to only realise it when I was completely alone.
But I stepped outside to find I wasn’t alone. Rami wasn’t in his bedroom.
He was in the hot tub.
Steam rose from the surface, and the soft lights illuminated Rami’s thoughtful expression. He hadn’t heard me arrive, and he was sipping from a glass of wine as he stared at the sky.
Is he naked?
He certainly was from the waist up. Given I’d spent the best part of the previous three days staring at his chest through a lens, you’d think I’d be better prepared for the sight of him sprawled in the water. But I wasn’t.
I cleared my throat, not wanting to startle him. “Hi.”
His attention came to me immediately as he smiled. He did that so readily, like he was perpetually happy.
I used to be like that.
Maybe I could be again.