22. Ethan
Ethan
Iknew axe throwing was going to go disastrously. But the last thing I’d expected was to be terrible at it while rocking a major hard-on.
All my blood had rushed south as soon as Rami sent the first axe flying. It stayed there as he rained one weapon after the other on the target. Apparently I had a very specific kink involving sexy men throwing sharp objects.
Or maybe it was just Rami that it applied to.
I thought maybe it’d go down during my turn, but no such luck. The only thing that did surprise me was how much my stamina and fitness had improved. Just a few weeks ago, I wouldn’t have been able to manage the hike, let alone go straight into another physical activity.
That wasn’t the only surprise to be had.
Rami politely waved Owen off when it came to helping me position my arms correctly, instead standing behind me, my back pressed to his chest as he wrapped his long fingers around my wrist, showing me the correct action.
I tried to listen. Really, I tried.
But my axe fell limply to the ground, several feet from the target. Along with every one I threw after that.
Despite my incompetence, Rami had the patience of a saint. He quietly corrected my stance, whispered words of encouragement, and commiserated with me when they all fell short.
Between Rami’s close proximity and attention, I was hard as steel. Seriously, I was starting to worry about my blood pressure. If I fainted because of an erection, I might die from sheer humiliation.
This is what you survived for—new experiences.
I kept reminding myself of that, but really, all I cared about was Rami.
He was what I was enjoying about today. How he’d gone to the shop to buy groceries to feed me.
New clothes so I didn’t have to keep wearing the same outfit.
The speed with which he’d grabbed my shoulders during Harry’s erratic driving.
The genuine interest he’d shown in my photos on the hike.
All before we even got to the axe throwing.
The situation in my boxers didn’t improve after the activity. When we got back to the cottage, I half expected Rami to lead me straight to a bedroom. Instead, he suggested the hot tub.
We lounged in there for hours, talking about everything and nothing.
I told Rami about life in California, and he described the chaos that existed in his home.
We discovered a shared love of paranormal horror books, and swapped recommendations, then followed that with a long debate about whether or not ghosts existed.
I shouldn’t have been hard during our conversation, but I was. How long did an erection have to last before you should go to the hospital? I had to be nearing that limit.
It didn’t help that Rami took up so much of the tiny hot tub that it was near impossible to stop from touching him even if I tried.
And I wasn’t trying.
Neither of us drew attention to where my foot was looped around his ankle. Or where his little finger linked with mine. We just focused on the conversation, learning all we could about each other.
When I started to shiver, Rami suggested food. Evidently, he’d also picked up dinner while he was at the shop this morning. I tried to offer to help him cook, but he just grinned before telling me to take a shower.
I shouldn’t fall for Rami.
But fuck, he was making it hard not to.
In the shower, I finally had a moment to myself.
Time to try and organise my thoughts and feelings.
Deep down, I knew that what was growing between Rami and me wasn’t just friendship.
That line I’d tried to draw grew blurrier with every hour spent in his company.
It shouldn’t. I should have morals. Standards.
I shouldn’t be doing this so soon after Dave.
Or maybe you should. You almost died. You have a second chance at living, so why not grab it with both hands? Why are you wasting time when you don’t know how much you have left?
The realisation had me dropping the shampoo bottle.
It missed my foot, but squirted shampoo up the wall.
Sighing, I twisted the showerhead to rinse it off.
Maybe I’d been looking at this whole situation wrong.
I’d been too focused on not knowing what my future held to think about what was happening in the present.
I’d been given the gift of time, but who knew how long that would be?
For all I knew, the cancer had returned already, creeping silently through my cells and claiming them for its own.
Do you really want to miss out on this with Rami? Do you want to be on your deathbed, regretting that you didn’t make the most of whatever this is?
No. No, I didn’t.
A queasy sensation went through me as I considered the main reason I’d kept everyone at a distance while I’d been sick. Going through cancer treatment was hard enough—experiencing someone you loved doing so was equally tough.
Rami’s not going to fall in love with you. This is just fun. You deserve some fun.
I did. God knew I did.
I took several steadying breaths. From this moment on, I was going to ignore my conscience and forget about the judgemental words people would throw at me if they knew how quickly I’d moved from one man to another. I was going to follow my instincts, and I was going to enjoy the hell out of it.
After an extremely thorough shower in anticipation of what I hoped was going to follow, I went to help Rami in the kitchen.
“Oh, you’re finished already.”
Rami smiled as he finished serving the couscous and grilled salmon. “It’s far simpler to throw together than it looks.”
“Still, I appreciate it.” I stepped up beside him and nudged him out of the way with my hip. “Here, let me carry these to the table. It’s the least I can do.”
Rami laughed and held up his hands. “Fine. I’ll allow it. I thought we’d eat outside, if that’s okay?”
“Sure.” I followed him out of the open bi-fold doors before coming to an abrupt stop. “Rami…this is beautiful.”
The small table was covered in a delicate white cloth, a beautiful bouquet of roses in the centre. Flickering tealight candles in tall glass jars were dotted all around the outside kitchen. Low music was playing from a hidden speaker, completing the romantic mood.
A lump formed in my throat. “How’d you even pull this off?”
“I had a little help,” Rami confessed, rubbing the back of his neck while smiling tentatively. “Is it too much?”
God, seeing how nervous he was about my reaction did something to me. It had me wanting to hug him tight and reassure him that it wasn’t too much. That this was the sweetest, most romantic gesture anyone had ever shown me.
I realised I could do exactly that.
After carefully placing the plates on the table, I wound my arms around Rami’s neck and went up on my tiptoes. “Thank you. This isn’t too much; it’s perfect. I’m honestly blown away.”
Then I kissed him.
Rami was frozen for a split second, like he couldn’t believe I’d been the one to initiate the kiss, but then he came to life. His muscled arms encircled me, one hand diving into my hair as the other held me close. He deepened the kiss with a groan that had one of my own rising to join it.
God, why did kissing Rami feel so good?
Eventually, we parted. Rami leaned his forehead against mine and chuckled. “Sorry. One day, I might be able to kiss you like I’m not seconds away from mauling you, but today is not that day.”
I blushed shyly. “Is it bad if I hope that day never comes?”
His lips curled at the corners. “Not at all, baby.”
I should’ve protested the endearment. Or not suggested that we were going to be kissing lots more in future. Instead, I just sighed. “We’re not doing very well at the whole friends with benefits thing.”
Rami hummed. “Forget everything else for a second. Are we friends, Ethan?”
“Of course.”
“Then it seems to me that we’re nailing it.” He slid his hand under my waistband and palmed my arse cheek. The thin cotton barrier of my underwear did little to lessen the heat of his touch. “We’re friends. We’re enjoying the benefits. We don’t need to complicate it any further.”
I leaned back so I could see his face properly. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?”
“Yes.” There was nothing but utter sincerity on Rami’s face.
“I am, Ethan. Whatever you want us to be is good with me. I’m never going to judge you or hate you for going at your own pace.
We can go as fast or slow as you like. But if you’re wondering where the line is, there isn’t one.
You can kiss me whenever you like…or more. I’m definitely down for more.”
“Really?” My lips twitched. “Had no idea from how you’re currently fondling me.”
“My point is, it’s not going to magically make me think that you in my bed is an eternal commitment…although I’m hoping it might happen one day.” His fingers were teasing the seam of my cheeks through my boxers now. “Want me to stop?”
“Fuck no,” I breathed, focusing on that rather than the eternal commitment thing. If I thought too long about what it might be like to be in a long-term relationship with this man, there was a good chance my head would explode.
My gaze fell on the dinner Rami had lovingly prepared. “But maybe we should press pause until we’ve eaten. Your cooking is too good to waste.”
Rami stepped back immediately and pulled a chair out for me with a charming grin. “Your seat, sir.”
I shot him a mock glare as I sat down. “You’re trouble, Rami.”
He was.
He was so much fucking trouble. For my head. My heart. My life.
And you know what?
I couldn’t fucking wait to get into trouble with him.
We didn’t rush through our meal, even knowing what we were likely going to do after. The knowledge heightened our conversations, letting the heat build to almost unbearable levels.