Chapter 28
Lila
I hurry into the party and follow behind Skye as she leads me into a small room. She gives me a quick hug.
"You look pretty."
"Thanks." I'm nervous as I look around the small room at all the different costumes. "How many women are there going to be here today?"
"It's just the three of us. It's just a bachelor party for some guy who's marrying a cousin of the Kennedys or something. I don't think it's going to be crazy."
"Oh, wow. Cool. So what exactly am I expected to do?"
I feel somewhat guilty about being here, especially as I haven't told Max. In actuality, I really wanted to call Skye and tell her that I changed my mind, but I knew she was depending on me, and I didn't want to let her down.
"So you'll be in the cake, and then you'll pop out and be like, 'Surprise, happy bachelor party!' and then we'll all do a couple of little dances around, and then we see where it goes from there. You'll be fine." She picks up a bikini top that has two half coconuts. "You're going to put this on."
"A coconut bra?" I stare at her in shock. "You're kidding, right?"
"I'm sorry, but this is the costume. I'm thinking the guy had something for Hawaiian girls or Tahitian girls or something."
"But I don't look Hawaiian or Tahitian."
"But you'll look close enough with the coconut bra," she says hopefully, and I just laugh.
"And please tell me I'm not wearing a thong."
"Well, you are wearing a thong, but…" She holds up a grass skirt. "This will be covering it, so it’s not like you’re just shaking your butt cheeks for the world to see."
"Why does this feel so wrong?" I ask as I stare at the attire I’m expected to wear.
I cannot believe I'm going through with this.
“There are fifteen hundred reasons why," she says and then makes a face.
“Does that make sense? Besides, it'll be good music.
I chose the playlist, and it'll be fun, and you don't have to do anything you don't want to do.
These men can't touch you, and they're not going to be expecting anything crazy. We're not like strippers, you know?"
"I guess not."
I think back to the previous evening and the phone sex I'd had with Max and how I'd stripped my top off. I blush slightly.
"Hey, you okay? You totally zoned out there."
"Yeah, I was just thinking about something else."
"Oh, no, not about Max and his pregnant ex-girlfriend, Marie."
"Oh, my gosh. I didn't tell you. That's not his girlfriend or his ex or anything."
"Do not tell me it's his wife. If it's his wife, you should sue."
"No, it's not his wife. It's his sister."
"His sister?" She looks at me for a couple of seconds. "So he doesn't have a pregnant anybody?"
"No. He's just helping his eighteen-year-old sister out."
"Oh, now I like him. Dang it. I didn't want to like him. I wanted to hate him as much as I hate Kingston."
"I know. Kingston does sound like a bit of a jerk."
"Girl, he's more than a bit of a jerk. Anyway, so you and him are back on?"
"I mean, I wouldn't say we're back on. It's not like we were anything, but we're at least talking again."
"Are you sure it's just talking? Did you fuck him again?"
"No, but we did have phone sex yesterday, and it was amazing."
"Phone sex?" she says. "How amazing can phone sex be?"
"When you're doing it with Max Spector, it's definitely better than real sex I've had with some guys." I laugh. "Though, I don't know if I would ever say that to their faces."
"Wow. If I had phone sex that was better than real sex, I would tell all of my jerk-off ex-boyfriends exactly how much better it was. Anyway, we should talk about it later. You want to hang out after the event?"
"Yeah, that sounds great. I'm so glad that I met you that day."
"Me, too. To think, before that audition, we didn't even know each other, and now we're the best of friends."
“We really are. How's Juniper, by the way? I haven't spoken to her in a while."
"I think she's busy writing her book, and her boss is a jackass, too. In fact, we should probably start a club like The Horrible Bosses Club or something."
"We started that already. Remember?"
"I know, but we never had an official meeting, and this was my way of reminding you of that."
"Oh, my bad. Sorry."
"It's okay. I suppose you don't think Max is so bad anymore."
"He's still a bit of a jerk. I like him, but he's not the best man I've ever worked for. Not that I've ever worked for anyone that I loved. I mean, not that I ever worked for anyone I was sleeping with, but anyway, let's chat later."
"Yeah." She hands me the clothes. "Change into these, and when you're done, let me know. I'm going to put you into that box over there."
"Oh, is that the cake?"
"Yeah. When you hear me tap on it four times, that is my signal to you to jump out and do a little dance. Okay? I'll point out the bachelor to you when you get out."
"Okay. That sounds easy enough. I hope I don't mess up."
"You'll be fine," she says. "You're a natural. You're an actress. Pretend you're on Broadway."
"I suppose," I say. "The Case of the Billionaire Bachelor.”
“Or you could pretend that you’re in a murder mystery a la Agatha Christie.”
I giggle. “I’ve been watching this British TV show called Death in Paradise, and I guess I’m just thinking about different cases from that show.”
“Oh, my gosh. I love Death in Paradise. Have you seen Beyond Paradise, as well?"
"No, not yet. Is it good?"
"It's so good. I just love Humphrey. It's more depressing than Death in Paradise, but it picks up. I'm so excited for more episodes."
"Oh, I can't wait to watch it." I smile at her. "Maybe we can have a murder mystery marathon one day."
"Oh, definitely. I love British murder mysteries. The cozy ones, though. Not the dark ones. Have you seen McDonald & Dodds?"
"Oh, yeah. McDonald & Dodds is cool. Sometimes, I just think to myself, what is she thinking? But then I'm like, I'm not British, and I'm not a detective solving murder mysteries, so maybe I just don't get it. She's a great actress, though," I say.
"Yeah, she is." Skye gives me another quick hug. "Okay, change. Get into the cake, and then the party will get started."
"Sounds good."
I quickly take off my clothes and put on the coconut bra, the black thong, and the straw skirt.
Nothing feels comfortable, but I suppose that's how life goes.
I get into the box, and I'm glad I'm not claustrophobic because it smells weird, it's dark, and it's very warm.
I hope I'm not going to be in here for too long.
After about five minutes, I feel the box being moved into another room, which is much louder.
I can hear music and conversations, but I can't quite decipher what anyone's saying.
I wait for the taps and think about what I'm going to do when I get out of the box.
What sort of dance will I do? Should I sing?
My mind drifts to Max. I feel happy. It's weird how happy.
I shouldn't feel this ecstatic, but knowing that Maria's his sister has just taken a burden off of my shoulders.
Not that he's my boyfriend or that we're going anywhere, but the fact that he's been texting and calling me has to mean something.
I hear the four bangs on the side of the box and take a deep breath before I push up and jump out.
The room is full of eligible, good-looking bachelors, and I just start dancing around.
I hear the Sabrina Carpenter song "Please, Please, Please" playing, and I move my hands to the beat of the rhythm.
My blonde hair bounces up and down, and I feel the coconuts shifting back and forth.
They're barely holding my breasts in. I hope to God they don't slip off.
I move to the right and dance around the room, singing along to the song. I spot Skye pointing at one guy, and I head over to him. He has a huge grin and red lipstick all over his face. I'm wondering who gave it to him. He certainly won't be getting any of my lipstick on his face.
"Are you the bachelor?" I ask as I stand in front of him. I speak in my best Marilyn Monroe tone, and he grins.
"The one and only. I'm Jeremiah Crestview."
Jeremiah Crestview. I try not to giggle. What a name. He definitely came from money with a name like that.
"Well, Jeremiah, why don't you have a seat and I'll give you a treat."
Skye looks at me with wide, happy eyes, and I shrug, happy at the little rhyme I've come up with.
"Oh, yeah, baby, take those coconuts off," he says as he sits down.
Another guy sits down next to him, and I'm guessing it's his best friend.
I start moving back and forth in front of them, shaking my ass and the coconuts without getting too close.
The song changes to an Adele hit that I don't really think is appropriate for a bachelor party, but I'm not going to tell Skye that as she chose the music.
"Baby, shake those coconuts like your mama wanted you to," the bachelor says, and I try not to raise an eyebrow at him. He's a bit of a jackass.
I decide to step away from him when he reaches out to pull and tug on my straw grass skirt. I see that there's a small little table and decide to get on top of it and dance. At least then, they'd be getting a good view, but I wouldn't have to worry about them trying to touch me.
I move over to the table and start dancing around, happy when the music changes yet again to an Usher song. I close my eyes as I swing my hips to the beat, dancing around. I can feel lots of eyes on me.
"Oh, hey, we have some new guests."
I turn toward the door to see who's come in. My jaw drops as I see a shocked-looking Max standing there in a suit. He looks devastatingly handsome as always. His eyes narrow as he walks toward me, and I can feel myself feeling faint.
"Lila?" He glares up at me.
"Hi," I say, offering him a small little wave.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" he demands, and before I know what's happening, he's grabbing my waist and lifting me up and carrying me in his arms.
"What are you doing?" I cry, slapping at his chest. "I'm dancing."