Chapter 39
Remington
"It's going to be okay," I mutter under my breath, as I tap my fingers against my wooden desk.
"You're fine. You can handle anything. She's just a little kid, not a federal judge.
" The self-help talk is not really helping me, but it's the only way I know to stop my blood pressure from rising.
I'd been quite calm all morning. Likely due to the fact that Juniper had been with me, distracting me from what lay ahead later in the day.
But now, later in the day is here, and Juniper is nowhere to be seen.
I didn't mean to offend her when I asked her to babysit, but obviously, she didn’t take the innocent question well because she'd left thirty minutes later after telling me in no uncertain words that she wouldn't be coming back to the office with me.
I thought we'd been having a great time, getting to know each other and packing up my room. So much so that I even thought maybe we were having a moment, but I was wrong. After my comment, she became extremely cold, and all the friendly banter and sexual chemistry evaporated. Though, I’m still not sure if there had been sexual chemistry or not.
Juniper isn’t a bombshell in the traditional sense of the word, yet something about her still intrigued me.
"I will never understand women," I mumble to myself as I sit here waiting in my normally comfortable chair. I shift to try and compose myself, but the anxiety in my chest reminds me of the stasis I experience at the beginning of a roller coaster ride.
I stare at my computer screen and attempt to do some work.
There are several briefs I need to reread before sending them off, but the words on the screen are blurry.
I can't focus. I can't mark up legal files in this state.
I suddenly realize that it was a stupid move to tell Karen to bring Canyon here.
I don't know why I suggested the office.
Maybe because it is normally my safe space, but today, with everyone gone and it just being me, it feels like some sort of prison cell that I am waiting to escape.
I hear the elevator ding as it stops on my floor, and I take a deep breath.
I don't know whether or not to stand up, go and greet them, or wait for them to come to my office.
I hear footsteps and talking in the corridor, but the words are too low for me to understand what's being said.
Curiosity gets the better of me, so I stand up and head toward the hallway.
"It's going to be fine," I mumble to myself one more time, as I step out my door and take a deep breath.
I look down the hallway and see Karen, unmistakable with her platinum blonde hair and short skirt. She notices me as I see her and gives me a little wave. I can't tell if she's being flirtatious or not, but her face and smile are familiar.
I frown as I look around and don't see Canyon, but then I notice that Karen is holding a small hand in hers and that there's someone behind her. I wonder if my daughter's going to look exactly like Karen. I wonder if I'm even going to recognize myself in her.
"Hey, Remington," Karen says, smiling widely, her eyes traveling up and down my body like she wants to feast on me a second time. "I see you're looking as handsome as ever."
"Thank you. You're looking as beautiful as ever," I say with a wide smile as I step towards her. She straightens her shoulders, pushes her boobs forward, and gives me a little wink. She still wants me. The realization shakes the nerves out of me, and I grin.
"Canyon," Karen says softly.
"Yes?" I hear a little squeak of a voice. I'm surprised because she'd been so confident on the phone.
"Don't you want to meet your dad?"
"Yes," she says, and I stand there, patiently waiting for her to step out from behind her mother.
Karen gives me a small shrug as we both wait.
"It's okay, Canyon. I'm not going to bite you. I'm not a big bad wolf," I say, chuckling, and then I see a small little face pop out from behind Karen.
The dark eyes that gaze at me are like a reflection in the mirror.
I gasp as she steps forward. She's got long, dark hair and dark eyes, and she looks like a mini-me.
The female version of me. If I'd even thought about getting another DNA test, that would be out of my mind now. She is definitely my daughter.
"Hi," I say, crouching down on my knees, holding my hand out. "I am Remington."
"You look like me," she says, pointing at me and stepping forward.
She's tall for her age, or so I think, and I just nod.
"And I guess you look like me," I say, with a smile that doesn't quite meet my eyes.
I'm freaking out. I have a daughter. It's real, real. I have a daughter.
And there's no way on God's green earth that this has been a mistake of massive proportions. The DNA labs did not mess up.
This is my child.
“I’m Canyon,” she says.
“I know, and I am Remington. My friends call me Remi."
"I guess I was never your friend," Karen says with a laugh. "I've only ever called you Remington."
"Well, that's because we didn't know each other that long," I say, winking at her.
She shakes her head and tilts her face to the side as she looks me up and down. "Sure was a pity. I kind of had fun that night."
"So did I," I say, looking up at her, staring at her cleavage that is practically busting out of her tight, white top. I wonder if she wants to have some more fun with me and immediately dismiss the thought.
"Hey," I say, looking over at Canyon. "Do you want to call me Remi?"
She shakes her head wordlessly.
"Would you rather call me Remington?"
She shakes her head again.
"Or Mr. Parker?"
"No," she says softly.
"Okay, then, what would you like to call me?"
"Daddy," she says, looking down.
My heart races slightly. "Okay. I mean, if you are ready to call me daddy, why not?"
"My best friend, Annabella, calls her daddy Papa, but my other friend, Frito, says that Papa is what she calls her Granddad. I don't have a granddad." She makes a face. "I don't have a granddad and I don't have a daddy. Oh, wait." She grins. "I do have a daddy now."
She steps forward and touches the side of my face. Her fingers are sticky, and I try not to shudder.
"You're my daddy." She looks into my eyes and then gives me a big beautiful smile. "Hi."
"Hi," I say back and touch the tip of her nose. "It's good to meet you."
"I know," she says. "I've been waiting a really long time to meet you. I asked the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny, and I asked Santa Claus. I told him I'd be a good girl for the whole year if I could meet my daddy."
"Well, here I am." I stand up and lift her into my arms. "Is this okay?" I ask her softly.
She nods as she wraps her arms around my neck. "I love you, Daddy."
I'm surprised that she's expressing such sentiment for me already. I look over at Karen with wide eyes. I hope that I don’t look as flabbergasted as I feel.
She grins. "She is a people person. She loves people. What can I say? She doesn't get it from me, and I don’t think she gets it from you either.”
“What are you trying to say?” I say, laughing.
“I’m trying to say that I don’t think you tell people you love them very quickly.”
“I mean, I tell my mom I love her.”
I grin, and Karen just laughs. "So, we left her bag in the lobby. I hope that's okay."
"You could have brought it up."
"I know, but I didn't want to bring it up and then take it down, and you have a security guard down there, and he said it was okay."
"Yeah, it's fine. So, when exactly are you leaving?"
"Tonight," she says. "You understand Mommy's going out of town, right, Canyon?”
Canyon nods. “Yeah, but we’re going to speak every morning and every night, right?”
“Yes, we are. And you’re going to be with your daddy.” She makes a face, and her expression crumbles as she takes in Canyon's small face. "Am I being irresponsible? Shit. Should I not do this?"
I stare at her for a couple of moments. The truth of the matter is I think she's being extremely irresponsible. She doesn't really know me. Sure, we had sex, and sure, I’m a ten in that, but if the roles were reversed, there’s no way in hell I would’ve left my kid with a virtual stranger.
However, now that I’m here with Canyon, and she's in my arms, holding me tight and telling me she loves me, I realize how much I do want to get to know her. I want to be her dad. She's a part of me. She has my blood, my DNA. Last week, I didn’t even know she existed. Now? Now, I can’t imagine her not being in my life. I have no clue what is going on.
"I think that this is a big career step for you, and you've been a single mom, facing everything on your own for a really long time.
I know that Canyon and I have never met before, and you and I don't exactly know each other super well. But what I can tell you is that she's my daughter, and I will do my very best to ensure that she’s happy for however long you’re away, and we'll even fly out to see you a couple of times. Does that sound good, Canyon?"
Canyon nods. "Yeah. I want to go on a plane. Mommy said that you might fly me first class."
"She did, did she?"
I look over at Karen, and she grins. "Hey, I googled you. You're rich. You can afford first class for yourself and a little kid."
"True. Also, we should speak about child support," I say in a lower voice. "And any back support I owe."
"I know you're good for it." She grins and nods. "I will have my attorney get in contact with you or someone else?"
"With me. I'm my own attorney. I mean, I do work at a law firm."
"True." She laughs. "I mean, I don't even have an attorney yet, so if you want to write something up, I will tell you if I think it's agreeable."
"I can do that," I say. "In fact, I can ask one of my partners to act as your attorney to ensure that you're getting a good deal."
"Okay. I mean for free, or…?"
"For free," I say. "I just don't want you to think that I am writing out something that you don't understand or you're not agreeable with."