Chapter 3
Chapter
Three
“ I t’s not the greatest news I’ve ever had, but it’s not terrible .
” Mum tried to reach for my hand. “I’ve only gone and got myself a touch of the old cancer, haven’t I?
” she said, flicking her eyes up to the ceiling with a sarcastic tut, wobbling her head like that emoji with the squiggly mouth would do.
My silence prompted her next words.
“Okay, it’s a little bit terrible."
“Wha-?”
She grabbed my hand to silence me, cutting in with what I hoped would be calming words.
“I’m gonna be starting chemo next week and the doctors seem pretty confident I can get through this.”
“ Nex t week? How long have you known?”
“A naughty amount of time. Sorry, I just didn’t know how to tell you,” said Mum innocently, eyes peering left and right over her mug of green tea, like an Action Man doll with ‘eagle-eye’ function, but way prettier.
I felt the top half of my body’s blood supply sink to the pit of my stomach. This was my mother’s life being threatened by an absolute arse-crack of a disease that had no business poking around in my mother’s breast, rather like her Dutch flower delivery guy come to mention it (he was married).
I just didn't think that it was ever possible this could happen. It wasn't a thought that entered my mind. The sheer disbelief made sure that it didn't sink in properly.
“So, you… what do you… what do they…?” I clearly needed a re-boot in the brain department.
“I’m not going anywhere,” she said, gritting her teeth and almost punching the lump on her breast for having the absolute gall to attempt to separate her from her beloved sons.
“Finn?” I questioned.
“I told him earlier. Look, it's gonna be fine. I’ll hunt every one of those bastard cancer cells down and kill ‘em off one by one if I have to,” said Mum.
“Like Die Hard .”
“Yes, just like Die Hard , darling.”
We paused.
“You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?”
“No idea, Lovely. Anyway, you can’t get rid of your dear old mum that easily.”
“Oh no, you mean I’ve got to keep telling boys I live with my mum?” I joked.
“Aw, it’s comments like those that will always secure you as my second favourite son.”
She kissed the top of my head and puffed out a semi-laugh. She was back in the room. Sort of.
“I’m leaving the house to the cat, anyway.”
“Good, cos Lilla’s on her way out and I’m her favourite. She always hangs about in my room anyway, so I’ll definitely be next in line.”
“She only hangs out with you because she likes getting stoned.”
“What? How, did… I thought you couldn’t smell?”
“Just because I haven’t got a sense of smell, doesn't mean I’m an idiot. I know what a roach looks like. You forget that your mother was a lot cooler than you.”
“Burn.”
“Speaking of boys, what are you doing about getting yourself a bloody man? You’ve been on your own for far too long.”
“Ah well, funny you should mention that. This is an area of my life that I’m currently working on,” I said, proudly.
“Well, graft harder. I just want you to be happy. Anyway, don’t have nightmares. I’ll see you in the morning,” said Mum as she kissed my forehead and left the room.
“Ooh, looks like someone wants to get high,” she continued, as the cat zigzagged through her legs and into my room.
“Night!” I said, shooing her away and lighting up a big old bifta.