Chapter 5
December 27th
It turned out the new day brought destruction to my life. I awoke to a tsunami of notifications on my design software that certain aspects had been “red-flagged” by another user, meaning they would need to be removed from the design. Once I saw just how many there were, I quickly realized that Patricia had personally rejected my design—the one she was happy with the night before. The sound of the fracturing proverbial ice around me was just too much to handle. I knew this was it for my job, and instead of waiting in a torturous state of limbo for Patricia to call, I called her.
“Claire,” her breathy tone sounded like she was half asleep, or upset. I suspected it wasn’t the latter but couldn’t imagine the former either. “It’s a no on the Après cigar bar. I can’t see how it would work… It’s just too cliché . Anyway, my tail was really on the line here. Claire, I’m going to have to let you go. You just don’t have the vision to pull this off.”
Her words stung, but another strange phenomenon happened similar to the emotions I was working through after Theo dumped me: I felt relief. Yes, I was scared out of my mind for my food, healthcare, and financial security. Yet, all I could think about was that I could now take part in the ski retreat that started the next day.
I thanked Patricia for the opportunities she lent to me, the experience I gained, and I stated all of those lovely platitudes that people say when they’ve just gotten fired, but I couldn’t get off the phone fast enough. She had some offers about Human Resources being in touch with my severance package, which was a little bonus I wasn’t expecting. It might have even helped float my property tax bill for another month. When I finally got off the call, I took a long, hot shower and robotically packed my suitcase for the retreat.
December 28t h
The next morning came, and I sent my parents a message telling them that I would be away at a church retreat for the rest of the week, purposely omitting the part about it being a ski retreat right there in Sage Mountain. Though there was cell phone service at the lodge, I wasn’t ready to face the music with my double whammy of getting dumped and fired in the same period. I cringed when I remembered that my father would have the airport dedication and ribbon cutting ceremony to hold when it opened in a few short months. He would know either way that I no longer worked for the firm, but I decided to cross that bridge when I got there. A moment later, my mother sent me a thumbs-up emoji and asked me to tell her everything when I got home.
After I dressed, I wasn’t sure I felt as good in the outfit as I did when I tried it on a few days before. Between the ice cream and my emotional snacking, it was apparent I’d packed on a few extra pounds overnight, making my waistline a little uncomfortable. After some scientific testing, though, I realized the button on my pants was secure and held no risk of popping. The back seam was strong and most likely wouldn’t split. The only thing I had to worry about was the loud swishing sound as my thighs boldly announced to the world I was in motion. Sighing, I checked the minor mascara I added to my otherwise invisible lashes. It was a little too cold and dry out to wear eye makeup, but flaking off was a risk I would take.
The drive to the new lodge was gorgeous. I had been all over Sage Mountain on the ground level, and while it was safe to say that I’d seen every nook and cranny of that place without skiing, I hadn’t explored the mountains very much. The new resort was built into a rolling hillside, and according to its brochure, was ski-in/ski-out with its own chair lift systems. Given the rapid growth there, it wasn’t surprising that I didn’t know this. It was easy to lose track of every new hotel. I was eager to see it.
I arrived at the Superstition Peak Lodge half an hour before the rest of the group, so I could get my bearings for the lodging situation. I assumed that I would bunk with half of the girls, but it turned out the resort had separate rooms set aside for the adults, and I would share a room with Joy, Katrina’s mom. At the very last minute while I was walking up to the concierge counter, Joy texted me that she bunked in the same room with her daughter, so I was completely off the hook for any chaperone duties. She had invited me to their room to watch movies, as they were bringing a pre-loaded HDMI stick with several chick flicks on it, but I wasn’t ready to commit to anything yet.
The concierge was an outgoing, thirty-something man. He had a brisk accent that sounded east coast. “I’m Zeek. Let’s give you a quick run-down of where everything is, shall we?”
I agreed and appreciated it since the layout was confusing to navigate, even as he took me on the tour. The lodge was much bigger than I realized with over 300 rooms, which blew me away. He eagerly chatted to me about the expectations they had for the upcoming season. Once I set my bags in my room, he showed me to the ski room.
“The lodge is three buildings, and they connect via a sky bridge. Here, we will take an elevator to the bridge level where we can enter Building 2 where our ski outfitter is.”
We finally made it to the ski gear area.
“Here we are. We have your group scheduled to meet the instructors each morning at 9:30, except for today where we have you down for a half day starting at noon. You’ll want to come in here and get fitted for boots as soon as everyone gets here, so we can get those assigned with gear. And from here, we will just go down this walkway.”
I followed him down a hallway to an outdoor area with a metal grate covering the ground to catch the wet snow. The icy chill caught my nose with a familiar surprise.
“And there’s the bunny hill. You’ll all meet here every morning.”
For the term bunny hill , I always expected much less incline, but this was the one place I had an experience with.
“Let me know if there’s anything we can help your group with during your stay. Enjoy.”
The concierge returned inside, holding the door for me behind him.
“I suppose you could walk me back to the other building so I can find it again,” I smiled sheepishly, and he laughed, waving me over, and we walked back.
“Any plans for New Year’s Eve?”
His question caught me off guard. Was he asking me out? My social skills hadn’t taken that much of a hit that I didn’t even know what was happening… right? Then again, I thought I was getting engaged when I got dumped instead. “I haven’t thought that far ahead. Is there anything fun going on ?” I gave him a once-over to really see the man I was speaking to. He was rather attractive; that was clear with his jet-black hair and blueish gray eyes. There was an evolving tone to his voice that I couldn’t place, but almost everyone living and working in Sage Mountain was from elsewhere, so that didn’t even phase me anymore.
“Depends on where you look.” He winked at me, making my cheeks betray me instantly.
I internally screamed at my blushing, which always betrayed me. First thing after New Year’s, I vowed to call a doctor about my cheeks reddening at every drop of a pin. I did not know what he meant by that, but I didn’t have to wonder long as we stepped back into the elevator. He looked around, as if someone could hear him, while we were alone.
“My buddies and I started a little bit of an underground thing. Do you like club music?” He was grinning ear to ear, eagerly anticipating my answer, but my facial expression must have said it all.
I wanted to say “yes,” but it wasn’t the truth. Still, it was hard. “I do… not.” There was nothing I disliked more than loud booming beats and flashing lights. “I’m afraid that so rt of thing triggers my migraines.” He looked away in defeat. “But I wish you much success.”
Every relationship had deal breakers, and partying was the biggest one for me. I just didn’t party. My idea of having a great time was getting up early and watching the sunrise. The elevator doors opened, and Zeek bolted out without another word. Oh well , I thought. Instead of going to my room, I loitered in the lobby while I waited for the youth group.
Exploring the area, I turned into a lounge that was so stunning, it took my breath away. The ceilings were impossibly tall, showing an intricate beam pattern that must have taken months to design and complete. Extending to the ceiling, the tan stone fireplace had sparkling glass pieces in the fire, glistening elegantly. The windows overlooked bright, red gondolas and the “V,” just like at my condo, but much closer. The space was enchanting.
There was a full-scale bar with several seating areas, but a small sign on the bar top said they weren’t open until the evening. It explained their offerings of self-serve hot drinks on a nearby adjacent table. The selection looked divine; they had three large vats of liquids: hot chocolate, coffee, and decaf. Next to them, they had shiny glass jars filled to the top with fluffy marshmallows, sprinkles, and cinnamon candies. A pastry bottle of fresh whipped cream sat in the center in a small bucket with ice.
Checking my watch, I went for it. I was officially on vacation and considering I was now unemployed, I thought I had better make this last hurrah count. I didn’t know when, if ever , I would go on another trip. Ten in the morning was the perfect time to make myself a tall drink with extra whipped cream and marshmallows. I was sprinkling on the cinnamon when Mickey tapped me on the shoulder.
“Morning, Claire. You want to do me a solid and make Tamara one of those while I check in? She’s got low blood sugar this morning and trust me when I say it would be for the good of the world to fix that.”
I looked at Tamara who was standing right next to Mickey.
“Ignore him, Claire. So nice to see you.” She leaned in and gave me a hug, her beautiful, golden-brown curls cascading over her shoulders .
“Tamara, you look cuter every moment. Would you like a hot chocolate? It’s frigid outside, and you have the best excuse in the world, as you’re drinking for two.”
Mickey snorted and patted her perfectly round baby bump, before walking over to the front desk.
“All jokes, you two! Yes, Claire, I would love one.”
I handed her my first creation while I made a second with even more marshmallows that time and joined her on the leather sectional in front of the grand fireplace.
“Mickey said you’re taking ski lessons, too. I think that’s wonderful. If I could, I would, but I’m fearful of falling or worse, falling asleep. I’ve been so tired these days, and I’m nowhere near the finish line.”
I looked at Mickey’s stunning wife whom he started dating in high school. It was never a question for either of them. They were destined to be together and didn’t have to wonder when or if they would marry.
“Yes. When in Rome… Any baby names picked out?” I quickly changed the subject; it was refreshing to talk about something else for a change other than myself, skiing, and how the two things did not mix well.
“We like Henry for a boy and— ”
“Elsie for a girl,” Mickey interjected, appearing behind Tamara with room keys in both hands. He kissed her on the top of her head before sorting out the keys. The teens started arriving, and Mickey went to greet them.
“I’m so happy for you, Tamara. Really, what a magical time this is— the beginning of your beautiful family.”
Tamara smiled and patted her baby bump. “It will happen for you, too, Claire. I feel it in my bones.”
She stood up, taking my hand in hers for a moment and then went to join Mickey and the teens. I sat there for a minute longer, taking in the unexpected words of encouragement. Saying a silent prayer, I felt the words she said and told the Lord I would love nothing more than for them to become my reality.
Once everyone got settled in, it was time for our first ski lesson of the week. Just as Mickey said, we divided the groups into beginner, moderate, and advanced skiers. Surprisingly, most of the kids were in the beginner category. Though they were half my age, there was a redeeming quality about that for my own mental health.
Once everyone was dressed in ski gear, helmets, boots, and poles, our instructors had our skis waiting for us outside the door. Before we went out, Mickey pulled out a list and named off who would ski with each instructor. My group was last, so I took the chance to apply sunscreen on my face before departing.
My group was made up of myself and seven teens. We got paired with Tara, a lovely twenty-something blonde with hot pink ski pants. The uniform jacket was a long parka in a brilliant red, similar to my jacket but longer, and it had a giant Sage Mountain logo on the back. She looked like a walking Valentine. It worked for her. She was friendly, quickly introducing herself to me with a handshake before greeting the teens.
“Alright, gang. This is going to be fun! First, we are going to start with an assessment to see ability. Raise your hand if you’ve skied before.”
Most of the group did, except for two.
“Great. Alright, you two, you stay with me. Everyone else, if you’re comfortable with it, I’d like you to go up the magic carpet and ski down, one by one, so I can see what you need to work on.”
The adrenaline shot through my veins as I somehow got roped into going first. “I can’t, I’m shy,” I joked with one teen, Gracie, who stood her ground and insisted I go first. “Okay, I’ll go.”
As I stepped onto the magic carpet, memories of the times I had been there flooded my mind. Over the years, I’d made several attempts to take up skiing but never took it seriously and gave up when I didn’t immediately become a pro. Good skiers made it look so easy, but in reality, it was a sport that required practice and skill. And for the first time in my life, I was taking lessons from an instructor. As I reached the top of the bunny hill, I looked down to Tara who was smiling and waiting for me to come down, so I tried my best to do that smoothly.
The wind picked up, swirling a fresh powder of snow around me and simulating the feeling of going faster than I was. I knew from my dad that the goal was to keep my skis parallel to each other, but I tried that too quickly and fell face down in the snow.
“It’s okay, Claire. Keep going!” Tara called out.
Keep going? I was covered in snow. My mission failed. I was remembering why I hated skiing so much while I pushed my upper body up. As I sat in the snow and unclipped my skis with a pole so I could walk out of that situation, someone else came up beside me.
“Take my hand.”
A black glove appeared in front of me, and I did. After he helped me up, I looked at his face, but between his black helmet, metallic goggles, and neck gaiter, I could not see who the man was or what he looked like. He set my skis down in front of him to clip back into.
“There, you’re all set.”
That was it, and he skied off before I could thank him. Although my ego was bruised, I felt fine otherwise, so I shrugged it off and, with Tara’s encouragement, I clipped back into the skis and tried my best to follow through. When I made it back to her, she gave me a pat on the back.
“Great job, Claire. Falling is inevitable, but getting back up and trying again is where the commitment lies within us. You got this, Claire.”
I did not feel the same sentiment… In fact, I felt the furthest from it.
When the last teen returned from their assessment, Tara told us we all had varying abilities, and she asked if everyone wanted to start from scratch. We were in overwhelming agreement with that idea.
“Fantastic. Now, let’s begin by starting our lesson in ski positions. Everybody watch me and do as I do, okay?”
She put her skis out parallel in front of her, and we all followed suit. Thankfully, I was already standing that way, if not just a little more pigeon-toed.
“This is called ‘French Fries.’ This is how we ski when we want to glide. Got it? Now for the next.”
She put her ski tips closer together, making a triangle.
“This is called ‘Pizza.’ This is what we do when we want to turn, to slow down, or to even stop before we learn how to properly do that. Claire, be careful with this as it’s brutal on the knees past age twenty-five.”
She giggled, and I thanked her for the warning.
“Now, let’s put these two positions into play. Everyone, let’s hop on the magic carpet to take us to the top of the bunny hill!”
Despite my second time on it in fifteen minutes, and it only moving at three mph, I wasn’t expecting the magic carpet to almost trip me when I stepped on. My body was working so hard to glide over like I had any sense on skis at all, but the carpet was moving slower than I was by the time I made it, causing me to lean forward and nearly take out all of my teens like a row of dominoes. Thankfully, my ski poles caught me.
The way down the hill that time was different as the focus wasn’t on me, but rather relaxed as I was casually trying the different stances. It brought back many memories of the last time I tried to ski, which was well over a decade ago. My dad, Mac, had been invited to Palisades Tahoe for a “Legends of the West” race, and he took me along. We had four days to roam around, and my mother and I decided we would go sledding. But when she twisted her ankle on ice the night before, I decided to rent some equipment for the day. I quickly felt frustrated, clumsy, and far too cold. It was a miserable time trying to make my body move like an expert, though I was starting from square one. I thought I gave it up for good after that.
I was seeing a pattern. Every time in my life that I’d faced a challenge, I’d given up. How would things be different if, instead of giving up, I’d faced the difficulties head on? Sighing, I realized I was once again having a pity party. No one had made me come. No one had forced me to take that lesson, and in fact, I had made that choice myself. It was something I’d always aspired to do, and yet, I’d never followed through on. When would I ever learn to take responsibility for my choices? I said a silent prayer.
Lord, please free me from my own mind. I accept the responsibility and consequences of my actions. Let me be patient as You are with me. I thank You for the blessing and answer to my prayers by bringing me here. Lord, let me live without fear and enjoy this experience as much as possible. I want Your will for my life, not my own. In your name, Amen.
The hour flew by and by the end of the lesson, all the teens were racing down the hill, and I was with them. That time, things felt different. Part of that was due to Tara cheering me on and giving me helpful tips with zero criticism. The other part was admitting I was starting at zero and learning the basics. When all was said and done, I had a good time. Before we went inside, my cheeks hurt. It took a few minutes for me to realize it was from smiling so hard. Thank you, Lord, for the unexpected.
“Claire, wait up!” Tara shouted before gracefully gliding over to me on her skis and unclipping them from her boots in a fluid motion. “Great job, today. You have some good movements. I want you to really prepare for when you do a turn; you lift one ski up, ever so slightly.”
“Thanks, Tara. I will think about that. Looking forward to our next lesson.”
She reached over and opened the door and we both walked inside, taking off our helmets. My teeth were chattering.
“You’re welcome. I know it’s hard; there’s going to be a lot we cram into the week, but I hope you walk away with confidence to practice.”
“I’m so glad I did this and that you are my instructor. You have such a gentle way of teaching with no negativity or criticism, and I really appreciate that.”
“Aww, you’re so welcome. I know what you’re saying… know the type all too well. Some people can be quite harsh, taking their frustrations out on others. But for me, my passion in life is skiing, and I want other people to find a way to enjoy it. That’s more important than always being perfect.”
I agreed with her sentiment as she spoke. “Do you want to get lunch?” I asked her, while skimming the room. All the teens were with family or friends. I was riding solo.
“Oh, I’d love to, but my boyfriend is coming to meet me. He should be here any second.”
I realized when she brought him up, that I’d gone one hour without thinking of Theo. Instantly, he was back at the top of my mind. “That’s okay. Maybe another day, I’ll be here until New Year’s.”
“Absolutely, Claire. I would love to get to know you more. Now that the ski resort is open, I feel like I see my boyfriend all the time. He likes to spend as much time as he can up here.”
“I know the type.” That’s just like Theo , I thought.
“Yeah. I feel the same, mostly, but since I also work here, I enjoy some time away. It’s a very new relationship, though. We only just started dating like two weeks ago. He is supposed to be leaving for the entire winter in just a few days. Now, he tells me he’s ready to get serious in our relationship. What girl doesn’t want to hear that? I mean, he’s so, so gorgeous. He’s the perfect guy: kind, tall, wants to settle down. I just don’t know if it all seems way too fast.”
Another employee walked by, and she stopped talking as he smiled and waved at her.
“Is that him?” I whispered, playfully elbowing her in the ribs. “He’s totally adorable.”
She bit her lip and shook her head. “No.”
I could sense some hesitancy in her voice.
“Oh, there’s my boyfriend. I better go. I’ll see you in a bit, Claire.”
She winked at me while pointing to a group of people, and I waved her goodbye. My eyes followed her as she went into the cluster of people in ski gear. I took off my gloves and felt my face. My sunscreen had crusted up in a few spots, so I started towards the restroom when I stopped dead in my tracks. Tara and her boyfriend were walking right towards me. Tara’s boyfriend was Theo —as in, Theo McCain, who had just dumped me less than three weeks ago on his way to Canada to be repped by SkySki. According to Tara’s timeline, they began dating immediately after, and suddenly he was ready to settle down .
Sweat broke out on my hairline. I needed to escape. I was confident that Theo hadn’t seen me yet, so I quickly spun around, but found myself awkwardly facing three people who were right in the middle of a conversation that halted the moment I joined them.
“Hey… Hi, umm, I’m sorry to interrupt. Please let me just stand here for a moment because that’s my ex-boyfriend with his new girlfriend and…”
I rambled off into silence while two of the men laughed and said it was okay. I looked at the third man in horror. It was the man from the piano bar, because of course it was —Blake, the hunk who I also saw Thursday night when he picked me up after I slipped. Apparently, he was making his rounds whenever I was in need. His smile was just as dazzling as I remembered. In his hands he held a blue neck gaiter and metallic goggles. Wait… He was the mystery man who’d helped me up on the bunny hill an hour ago? Was he an angel undercover who appeared every time I took a spill? My knees felt so weak with anxiety knowing that Theo was behind me, that I felt like I could topple over just to test the theory.
“Well, if it isn’t Claire Riley,” Blake announced .
He winked at me as my knees felt an aftershock of embarrassment. His voice had been a touch too loud, and I heard a familiar set of feet clunking up behind me. All of this was just so overwhelming. It was then that I remembered the sunscreen on my face as a piece flaked off and went past my eyes like paper thrown out of a window. I squeezed my eyes shut and regained composure. He had a girlfriend anyway. What was the harm in having a conversation?
“It’s Blake, right? From the piano bar and The Barn Door last night…”
“Don’t forget the bunny hill,” he winked at me.
I felt my knees turn to putty.
“Blake Walker, at your service.”
As we conversed, something caught his eye just past me. By the time I realized all three men were looking at someone who’d walked up, it was too late.
“Claire? Is that you?” Theo was speaking to me.
You don’t owe him anything , I told myself.
“Claire?”
Theo took me by the shoulder, coaxing me to spin around like a circus poodle, but I didn’t budge .
“Yep,” I mumbled under my breath, refusing to turn around. I was certain my face was as red as my coat. I couldn’t look at Blake or any of the men. For the first time since I’d known Theo, I just wanted him to disappear.
“You two know each other?” Tara asked politely.
I wanted to roll my turtleneck all the way up over my face and just hide. For one, I should have known better—of course I would see Theo there at his home ski mountain. I hadn’t considered it because I thought he would be well on his way to Canada or wherever by now. Besides, I never thought he’d move on so quickly, but I supposed I shouldn’t have been surprised. Tara was stunning, and she skied. Our time together hadn’t been a serious relationship for him. It was all in my head. I took a deep breath and finally turned around.
“Oh, hey, Theo! What a small world.” I immediately regretted stating the obvious—Sage Mountain was a town of 30,000 residents. Of course, it was a small world.
“Tara, this is Claire, uhh…”
Tara raised an eyebrow, putting two and two together that I was that Claire.
“Hey, that rhymes! ”
Blake’s friend released a little steam from the pressure cooker by cracking a dumb joke. It worked, and I chuckled at Theo’s fumbling for words, if only for a moment.
Realizing how bad it looked, like I was casing out my ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend, I took the chance to speak. “I had no clue that you and Theo were… dating. I mean, we only broke up a month ago and, umm, not that you shouldn’t be dating…” I felt so lame in my choice of words, so I just cut them off. At least Tara’s expression showed she believed me.
“Wow, yeah, what a coincidence. Claire just took a beginner’s ski lesson with me. I had no idea.”
Tara stood there, stoic as she spoke. Though her words felt like a jab, with a heavy emphasis on beginners, I didn’t feel that she intended them to be. I knew how many thoughts were going through my mind, so I could only imagine hers. Just then, I felt an arm go around me.
“Hi, I’m Blake.”
The handsome man was now next to me, and I watched as he held out his hand to Theo, and they shook. The sweat broke out on my upper lip as I realized he was now squeezing his arm tight around my shoulder. I couldn’t form a word, but I looked over at Blake and thanked him profusely with my eyes. I could only hope he was a mind reader.
“Well, it was lovely meeting you both. But I’ve promised Claire lunch after her lesson.” He turned to me. “Shall we get out of this dump and go somewhere nice?”
Caught off guard by his joke, I laughed a little too hard, considering if that place wasn’t a five-star hotel, it was a six, or maybe even a ten star. I nodded. “I can’t go too far, as we have another ski lesson after lunch, but I think you’ll like the chicken pasta here. It’s good. I promise.” I had heard this from an online review that I had read the night before, but it definitely gave me much-needed street credentials.
“Whatever you wish.”
He turned us, and we walked towards the Peaks Lounge, the swankiest restaurant in the place. Once we turned the corner and they were out of sight and earshot, I nearly cried in thanking him. “You have no idea how much that helped me! Thank you so much, Blake! I owe you big time.”
I gave him a hug, careful not to linger on his muscular frame for too long. From what I could tell, Blake had a great physique. He wasn’t as tall as Theo’s six-foot-two body. I guessed around five-eleven. For the first time, I realized I was staring into the dreamy green eyes of a man who was physically my “type,” if there was such a thing. In my daydreams, I had always pictured having red-haired children. Here was a man who held some of the recessive gene, like myself. This made him quite literally the man of my (day) dreams. But if Theo taught me anything, a relationship should never be based on looks.
“Well, I am hungry, and you said I would like the chicken pasta, so let’s start with that?”
I joyfully agreed, and as we entered the Peaks Lounge, I saw a big group from church. “Do you want to meet my people?” I asked Blake, to which he eagerly said “yes.” I pointed them out and Mickey waved us over as they welcomed us to their table.
“Hey guys, this is Blake. We met a few days ago when I slipped and fell if you can believe it.” Several of the kids burst out in laughter.
“Yeah, we can believe it, ‘clumsy Claire.’”
It was a silly nickname that they overheard Mickey using once, but I thought it was just as funny, thankfully. It didn’t bother me an ounce .
“We also met briefly before that, if you count the piano bar, Claire?”
I shot a glance at Tamara, who had instantly cocked her eyebrow in surprise, as if saying, “ The piano guy?”
“Yes, of course I do. I wasn’t sure if you remembered, is all.”
“How could I forget?”
My pulse quickened as he looked at me. Blake was a person who could maintain eye contact, and I wasn’t used to it in the least.
“I certainly can’t.” My voice lowered, and I looked away, not ready to explore outside of this conversation while I was standing in front of everyone I knew. Blake pulled out my chair, and I took a seat as he sat down next to me. The server came over to us the instant we sat down.
“Two chicken pastas, then?” I looked at Blake, and he nodded in reply.
Somehow, he and Mickey were already discussing spring baseball fantasy league picks. I excused myself to wash up. I couldn’t believe what had just transpired. A perfect stranger just made me look a lot less pathetic in front of my ex and his gorgeous new girlfriend—a stranger that I’d now met two times before.