CHAPTER 21 - Deimos
After my little confrontation, I made a quick visit to Madeleine's own home, then I headed back to my apartment.
It is the only place in this rotting city where the chaos of other people’s lives cannot reach me. I strip off my suit and toss it onto the leather armchair, my movements quick. My skin feels too tight, a byproduct of the static electricity humming under my veins.
I walk to the only floor-to-ceiling window my apartment owns, staring out at the grey skyline. I can still taste the stale coffee and the scent of cheap perfume from that café.
The way she looked at me. That mixture of pure, unadulterated terror and the flickering spark of the woman who held the gun, it feeds me.
She thinks she can retreat into the mundane safety of her "normal" life, but I’ve already burned the bridges behind her. By eliminating Bryan, I didn't just remove a rival; I gave her a secret she can never share with anyone else.
Except for her.
Lucy. The defiant little brat who thinks she can shield Madeline from the inevitable. Sitting in that booth, watching the way they held hands, it felt like a structural flaw in my design.
Lucy is the noise in Madeline’s signal. She represents the "before," the version of Madeline that still believes in sunlight and mercy. As long as Lucy exists, Madeline has a reason to fight the shadows.
I pour myself a drink, the amber liquid swirling against the crystal glass. I’ve been isolating Madeline, peeling her away from the hospital, from the law, from her own sense of morality. I’ve made her a killer. I’ve made her mine in the dark. But Lucy is the tether I haven't managed to cut.
I should kill her.
The thought is clinical, a simple removal of a redundant variable. If Lucy were to "disappear"—an accident in her apartment, a stray mugger in an alley. Madeline would have nowhere left to run. She would fall right into my arms because I would be the only solid thing left in her world.
But I pause, the glass halfway to my lips.
Madeline isn't like the others. She has a fragile, beautiful resilience.
If I break the anchor too violently, the ship might not just drift to me; it might sink.
If she ever found out... if she even suspected I was the one who silenced her precious Lucy, the light in her eyes wouldn't just go out. It would turn into a cold, dead vacuum.
She would never choose me. I would have to break her limbs and lock her in a cellar just to keep her. And I don’t want a broken doll. I want the Doctor. I want the woman who chose mercy at the end of a blade.
I sit at my desk, opening the live feed on my monitors. There they are. Still in the café, huddled together like survivors of a shipwreck. They have no idea that the storm hasn't even reached its peak. They have no idea that the man they fear is currently deciding which of them gets to stay whole.
I trace Madeline’s face on the screen with a finger.
"You're almost there, Madeline," I whisper to the empty room.
"I just have to decide what to do with your friend."
The madness, the cruel resentment I’ve been carrying since she turned me away, flares up again. I don’t just want her back. I want her to need the darkness. And if Lucy is the only thing standing in the way of that realization, then she is a debt that needs to be settled.
I just have to be careful. A surgical strike, not a demolition. The isolation is working, but it’s a slow-burning poison. As I watch the flickering blue light of the monitors, the clinical detachment I usually wrap around myself like a shroud begins to fray.
It’s been too long.
I lean back in my chair, the leather creaking under my weight. My heart, usually a steady, mechanical thrum, starts to pick up an uneven rhythm.
I can still feel the ghost of her skin under my fingertips from the café, the way she flinched, the way her breath hitched. Most men would be repelled by that terror, but to me, it’s the most honest thing she’s ever given me.
A familiar, dark heat begins to coil in my gut. It’s a hunger that has nothing to do with blueprints or power plays. It’s a primal, aching need for the only person who has ever truly seen the monster behind the mask and didn't immediately die from the sight.
I close my eyes, and I’m back in the autopsy room. I can feel her hair between my fingers, the heat of her body pressed against mine, the frantic pulse in her neck. I want to feel her break again. Not out of malice, but because the moment she shatters is the only time she’s truly mine.
I’m becoming... impatient.
The rejection was a sting, a bruise on my ego that I’ve been nursing with threats.
But now, that bruise is pulsing with a different kind of energy.
I don't just want to control her anymore.
I want to taste her again. I want to remind her why she couldn't stop herself from touching me that night, despite the blood on my neck she caused.
I reach for the glass of amber liquid, but my hand pauses. My knuckles are white. The thought of Lucy standing between me and this hunger makes the anger flare up again. She is the lock on Madeline’s bedroom door, the moral compass that keeps her from wandering back into my arms.
The arousal is a sharp edge now, cutting through my logic. I don't want to wait for the slow decay of their friendship. I want Madeline here, where I can finally drown out the noise of the world with the sound of her surrender.
"Soon, Madeline," I rasp, my voice thick with a desire that tastes like iron.
"I’m going to make you forget there was ever anyone else."
I stand up, the need to move, to act, becoming unbearable. I can’t just watch her on a screen anymore.
Earlier this afternoon, after I let Madeline at the café clinging to Lucy like a drowning woman, I had walked through the front door of her own apartment. My movements were a choreographed dance of shadows. I didn’t need to break anything; I have the keys to every world she thinks is private.
I spent an hour in the silence of her home.
I ran my gloved hand over the spine of her medical texts, inhaled the scent of her expensive soap in the bathroom, and stood by her bed, imagining the curve of her shoulder under the duvet.
It wasn't enough to watch her from a distance anymore.
I needed to leave a part of myself behind.
I moved to the kitchen. The glass was crystal clear, a vessel for the truth I’ve been distilling for her.
I measured the sedative with a chemist’s precision.
Enough to pull her under, but not enough to drown her.
I placed the note exactly in the center of the table.
A lure. A test of her curiosity against her fear.
Now, I am already sitting in my car, parked a few blocks from her building. The engine hums quietly, and the cabin is filled with the cold, blue light of my monitors. I am watching the digital grain of the feed from the camera I hid in her living room.
Finally, on the display, I see the door open. Madeline walks in. She looks shattered, her shoulders slumped under the weight of everything she learned today. I watch her drop her keys and press her palms against her face. She is so close, yet she is separated from me by the glass of the screen.
Ever since the night when she rejected me, that hunger has only grown, festering into something unbearable. Watching her, so vulnerable and oblivious, puts me into a state of dark manic.
I watch her notice the glass. She stops in her tracks. Her posture stiffens. Then, she reaches for the note, her fingers trembling as she reads my words.
The truth is hiding at the bottom.
"Drink, Madeline. Surrender to me," I whisper into the silence of the car, as if she could hear me.
She is a scientist; she fights it. I watch her scan the darkened apartment as if she can feel my gaze on her neck. That paranoia excites me more than anything else. The fact that I am in her head, even when I am not there physically. She has nothing to lose anymore.
She picks up the glass and drinks. Every swallow is a small victory for me, an act of total submission that she chose herself. Note was successful. Only a few words to make her crave the truth.
I watch her legs begin to give way. She stumbles toward the sofa. When her body finally collapses limply into the cushions, I feel the adrenaline boiling in my veins.
"Good girl," I murmur, shutting down the monitor.
I don’t need to just watch anymore. The isolation I’ve built around her is complete now. Lucy is gone, the police are out of the game for now, and Madeline is in a deep, induced sleep, ready for me to claim her.
I step out of the car into the cold rain.
I know that when she wakes up, she will be afraid. She will hate me. But she will be mine. And this time, I won’t let anyone stand between us. Not her annoying friend, and definitely not the man who gave me life.
I don't use the front entrance; I move through the service stairs, a ghost in the machine of this building. My heart is a heavy, rhythmic drum behind my ribs as I reach her floor.
The lock clicks open. A final, satisfied sigh from the door, and I am inside.
The apartment is silent, save for the hum of the refrigerator and the soft, rhythmic sound of her breathing. I find her on the sofa, exactly where I watched her fall. In the pale moonlight, she looks like a fallen saint, her hair fanned out against the cushions, her skin translucent.
I want the first thing she experiences when her consciousness returns to be my world, not hers, so I lean down and slide one arm beneath her knees and the other behind her back. She is light, almost weightless, as I lift her.
Her head lolls against my shoulder, her breath warm and shallow against the column of my neck. The contact sends a jolt of arousal through me, a possessive heat that nearly makes me lose my focus.
"You're finally coming home, Madeline," I whisper, my voice a dark rasp in the empty room.