Chapter 40
James
Ifelt empty as I sat on Marc’s couch and stared out the windows.
Two days of reaching out to Marc, and nothing.
Not so much as a “Read” on any of the messages I’d sent, and I’d lost count of the voicemails.
Meanwhile, the HowlStone crew had already made an impressive dent restoring the interior of the shop, being careful to photograph everything for insurance.
I was glad they had experience with that, because I didn’t have the first clue.
The front remained boarded as the replacement windows would take a while to be delivered, plus it continued to rain off and on.
“Maybe I should just accept his silence for the answer it is,” I said aloud, running a hand over my face.
Then I looked around the small apartment.
I hadn’t been here long, and it already felt like more of a home than I’d had in years.
Everywhere I looked were memories of the time I’d spent with Marc.
There was so much joy here. Pain too, but the kind you grew and healed from, the kind that made you stronger.
I pushed up from the couch, my phone in my hand before I even registered what I was doing.
The rideshare app finished loading, and I’d just finished entering the address for my destination when the screen lit up with an incoming call.
My stomach swooped unpleasantly at the name in large letters on the screen.
I swiped to answer and cleared my throat as I brought the device to my ear.
“Hello, Captain.”
“Sergeant Gallagher. I hate to do this, but I’ve given you as much time as I can,” he replied, getting right to the point.
My stomach rolled unpleasantly. I just needed a little longer.
To talk to Marc and see if we had a future together.
I should have spoken with him about it weeks ago instead of letting my insecurities hold me back.
“I understand, sir. And thank you again for giving me as much time as you did. It wasn’t my intent to bring it down to the wire. ”
“But here we are. So what’s it going to be, Sergeant? I’m afraid I can’t let you go until I have an answer.”
My throat tightened. This was it. No more running. I opened my mouth, not at all sure what was going to come out.
The rideshare dropped me off in front of the Brennity Retirement Community, and I had to fight back the urge to be ill.
My CO had my answer. Now all that remained was to tell Marc.
I wished I had a better idea of what his reaction would be.
That uncertainty tempered my steps as I made my way to the sign-in desk.
It kept my steps measured as I followed the path winding through the heart of the community.
And it had my heart in my throat as I lifted my hand to knock on Great Aunt Petunia’s door.
The door swung open before my knuckles even grazed the surface, and two surprised faces stared back at me—Marc and a pretty young woman with brown hair and hazel eyes.
My doubts surged as all my insecurities that I was nothing more than an experiment—again—threatened to drown me.
Then I did a double-take. The woman looked like an eerie echo of Marc, right down to the green starburst around his pupils.
“James. I, uh, I was just on my way to see you.” Marc’s nervous statement grounded me back in the moment. Had he really been coming to me, or was he only saying that because I was standing right here?
“I was hoping we could talk,” I said, dropping my hand back to my side. He glanced at the woman who had to be his sister, Alex, and they seemed to have an entire conversation in that one look. “Please.”
His cheeks were that beautiful dusky pink I loved so much when he stepped back into the cottage. “Yeah. Um, how about we chat out back?”
I tried not to feel too relieved as I followed him through the cottage. We passed Aunt Petunia, who gave me an encouraging smile I was too afraid to read into. Marc’s sister gave him a meaningful look when we stepped outside, and he turned to shut the sliding door.
“I’m sorry to burst in here like this. I’m not trying to mess up time with your sister,” I said in a rush.
“What? No, no, don’t apologize. I should have reached out sooner.” He lowered his head as if embarrassed, but I wasn’t sure of the reason. I was the one who’d said such awful things.
“Look, I,” he began at the same time I said, “Marc, I–” We both stopped and gave an awkward laugh.
“Can I go first? Please. I need,” I took a bracing breath, “I need to tell you something.”
Fear flickered in his eyes and was gone so fast I’d have thought I’d imagined it if I hadn’t been looking right at him. “S-sure.”
“I’m not really sure where to start, so I’m going to dive right in. My CO called today. My leave is officially up.”
Color drained from Marc’s face. “Oh, uh. I guess this means you’ll be leaving then.
” He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, and they were noticeably redder when he reopened them.
“Before you go, I want to say how sorry I am for how I acted. It wasn’t very mature, and I know it’s too late to say I’m gonna work on it—“
“Marc,” I tried to cut in, but he pushed on.
“No, it’s okay. I get it. I should have said something sooner. It’s just being demisexual has burned me in the past and I knew if you knew then you’d know that I was already in way deeper than I let on and—“
“Oh my God, stop talking already.” To help him out, I cupped his face and silenced him with a sweet but firm kiss.
Learning he was demisexual certainly cleared up a few things and assuaged some of my concerns about being nothing more than an experiment to him.
He blinked owlishly at me when I pulled away enough to look him in the eyes—eyes that had always seen so much more of me than anyone else ever had.
“You really are too adorable for public consumption,” I said before brushing his lips with an even lighter kiss.
“I… I don’t understand. If you’re leaving...”
I ran my thumb along his cheek, somehow more in love with him than when I’d walked up to his aunt’s front door with my heart in my throat.
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. My CO called asking for my reenlistment paperwork, and I couldn’t do it.
Even not knowing how you felt, I couldn’t bring myself to re-up.
” My heart felt like it might give out as I searched his face for any hint that he might want me to stay.
But even if he wasn’t sure if I was worth keeping around, I planned to do whatever it took to convince him I was all in.
“So you told him… no?”
I nodded. “I’ve spent eight years fighting for my country. Now the only thing I want to fight for is you.” I let out a breath and rested my forehead against him. “I love you, Tulip.”
He sucked in a breath, and I leaned back to meet his shocked gaze. “What did you call me?”
“I called you Tulip, baby boy, and I’m completely in love with you.”
His hazel eyes took on a familiar, wet shine. “Who told you?” he whispered.
“No one,” I said with a small smile. “Figured it out a few days ago. Any chance you plan on saying something about that other thing I mentioned?”
He surged forward, wrapping his arms around my neck in a tight hold that threatened to cut off my air supply, and buried his face in the side of my neck. “Fuck, James, I love you so goddamn much.”
Relieved joy washed over me as I held him back just as fiercely. “I’m sorry for what I said. I never meant to hurt you.”
He leaned back, his hand cradling the side of my neck. “I know, Honeysuckle. I shouldn’t have snapped at the sheriff like I did, but I never could stand it when people talked shit about those I love.
“I get that. Pretty sure I’d be the one in jail if he’d laid so much as a finger on you.” Suddenly, what he’d called me finally registered. “Wait a second. Did you change my flower name?”
His cheeks turned that adorable pink. “Kind of. Though technically ‘buttercup’ was never actually your flower name.”
“So ‘honeysuckle’ wasn’t just a yellow flower?” I asked with a huff of laughter. His cheeks darkened even more as he shook his head. “Can I just say how funny it is that you gave me a flower name with ‘suck’ in it?”
His face was full-on red when he shoved me away. “Christ on a cracker, that’s not why.”
I snagged his wrist and tugged him back in close, pressing us chest to chest. “It’s still funny. Will you tell me what it means?”
His face softened, and he traced a finger along my jaw. “Honeysuckles represent devotion, true happiness, steadfast attraction, and the bonds of love. There are a few other meanings I could toss in, like good luck and intertwining lives, but that’s the gist of it.”
“Fuck, Marc.” I gripped him tightly and pressed my forehead against his once more, overcome with a flood of emotion. “And every time you called me honey…”
“I was failing spectacularly at not calling you Honeysuckle. I’ve known I’m in love with you for a while now,” he added when I pulled back to look at him.
“I was just too scared to say anything. When I’m in, I’m in.
Unfortunately, that rarely matches up with who I’m seeing.
It can take me a long time to feel connected enough with someone to actually want an intimate relationship.
“ He looked away, and I gently grabbed his chin and turned his face back to me.
“I get it, baby boy. For so much of my life, I’ve played a role.
Even when I got away from all the high-society bullshit, I was really just trading one constricting life for another.
I was still a tool, a pawn to be moved on the board.
But with you…” I stared into his beautiful eyes while he waited for me to finish.
“From the first moment you looked at me, it was as if you could see to the very heart of what made me who I am. And more than that, you accepted it—no caveats or anything. Just me. You made me feel like, for once, I was enough exactly as I am.”
“James?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m really going to need you to kiss me now.” He was already angling up to meet me halfway, and the kiss he gave me was sweeter than any confection. “Does this mean you’ll stay here in Fairhope with me?” he whispered against my lips.
God, I loved him so fucking much. “Depends on if anyone asks me to,” I teased him.
“You’re such an ass.” He pushed against my chest, then grabbed the front of my shirt and yanked me down to sear me with a kiss, his tongue sweeping past my lips to claim me. “It’s a good thing I love you.”
I felt fucking giddy as I smiled against his mouth. “I love you too, Tulip.”
His following groan went straight to my dick, and he captured me with another dominating kiss. “The things I want to do with you,” he said huskily.
“Right there with you, but maybe we should hold off until we don’t have an audience.” We looked toward the sliding glass door, where his sister and great-aunt weren’t even pretending not to be watching.
Marc’s full laugh pushed away any lingering insecurities, and he relinquished his death grip on my shirtfront.
“Fair point. Later then.” He gave me a heated look that wasn’t doing my semi any favors, then tugged me toward the door.
“Oh! I finally decided on a name for the shop.” His face was bright with enthusiasm as he glanced at me.
“Yeah? What did you decide to go with?” I brought his hand up and placed a kiss on the back, enamored with the way his face softened.
“Second Bloom.”
I blinked as I absorbed the myriad of meanings those two simple words held. “Wow. That’s… that’s kind of perfect. What led you to that?”
“Right? It feels obvious now, but I couldn’t have done it without Alex’s help.” He turned his beaming grin toward the young woman waiting not-so-patiently on the other side of the screen door, next to Aunt Petunia.
It really was eerie how similar they were, even with the obvious differences like hair length, breasts, and a narrower waist. They could easily be two sides of the same coin. “Hey, why didn’t you tell me your sister was also your twin?”
“Of course I told you we were twins,” he countered.
“You most definitely did not,” I argued right back.
We were still going back and forth about it when we reached the sliding door and I finally got to meet the most important person in Marc’s life.
“Hello Alex. I’m James. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.
” I held out my hand, and she batted it away with a scowl.
“To hell with that shit.” I had a split second to panic, then she flung open her arms and dragged me into a shockingly tight hug.
“You make him happier than I’ve ever seen,” she whispered in my ear, “but you break his heart and no one will find the body.” On that terrifying note, she released me with a beaming smile.
“I think this calls for celebratory cobbler.”
“Oh, hell yeah!” Marc agreed enthusiastically, his “hell” a perfect echo of his sister’s and loaded with twang. It was possibly the cutest thing I’d ever heard.
I laced my fingers with Marc’s and he flashed me a grin. “What are we standing around here for? Lead the way.”