callum
TWENTY-THREE
THEN
If I were a better person, I’d have felt the smallest bit of guilt for sneaking around behind my brother’s back with his best friend.
But, in my opinion, Sam was a pretty shitty brother, and he wasn’t a very good friend to Damien either.
He treated Damien like a toy he could put on a shelf and forget about when something shinier and more fun came along.
Right now that shinier, more fun thing was Jessica Hammond.
All spring long, Sam had been canceling plans with Damien to go see Jessica.
Sometimes he offered to bring Damien along, and I got to witness such an invite one day.
Damien arched an eyebrow at Sam and said that yes, he supposed that’s what every girl wanted.
Time alone with her boyfriend and his best friend.
Sam’s girlfriend demanded a lot of his time, which suited me just fine because it meant more time with Damien.
Sam had no sooner left than Damien sneaked into my room.
We never hung around in Sam’s room, just in case he came home unannounced.
It would be easier to explain Damien coming out of my room than me coming out of Sam’s.
So far, we hadn’t been caught.
Damien shut the door behind him and walked over to my desk where I’d been sitting, pretending to do homework for the past hour. But in reality I was doodling, lost in daydreams of what it might be like if I could date Damien the way Sam got to take Jessica out.
In order to do that, however, I’d have to come out to everyone. And I’d have to find a way for Sam to not murder me in my sleep. Sam could be generous with other people, but when it came to me, he very much had an I licked it so it’s mine approach.
I turned away from the homework I wasn’t doing and looked up at Damien.
He bent over and stole a kiss. We’d done a lot of kissing.
Some grinding. We’d gotten off together a few times, both by jerking ourselves and by jerking each other.
Everything we’d done was mind-blowingly awesome.
I never realized how much fun coming could be until I wasn’t doing it alone in the shower every time or jerking late at night, hoping my bed didn’t squeak too much or I didn’t breathe too hard and give myself away somehow.
“Hey, you,” I said right before he kissed me again.
“Hey, you,” he answered back.
“I thought Sam promised that today was just the guys?” I slid my hands up the outsides of Damien’s legs, stopping at his waist.
“Jessica had some sort of emergency that required Sam’s immediate attention.”
Damien smiled at me, but I could tell he was torn. On one hand, he’d been looking forward to hanging out with his best friend. But on the other, every moment Sam was preoccupied was one we got to steal for ourselves.
Maybe I was a shitty brother, or a shitty person, but I didn’t feel bad for sneaking around.
If Sam wasn’t a jerk, I could come out to him.
But I didn’t trust Sam to have my back, and I certainly didn’t trust that he’d take the news that I was falling in love with his best friend very well.
Sam didn’t even like me existing in the same location as him.
He wasn’t about to share his best friend with me.
Damien’s fingertips brushed against my forehead, smoothing the furrow between my eyebrows.
“As cute as you are when you scowl, I’d rather see you smile.”
Gah. My heart couldn’t take it when he said stuff like that to me. And the worst part was that it worked. Like an idiot, I smiled on demand.
“That’s better,” Damien said, and then he was bending over again. This time his hands cradled my face, and he kissed me longer, deeper. His tongue swept into my mouth and I let it, dancing with it as it moved.
The thing about kissing Damien was that we never stopped for air and after a while it made me lightheaded, and I’d still cling to him, kissing him deeper as the world spun around me.
Today, though, he broke the kiss and his mouth traveled down to my neck.
I tilted my head to give him room and resisted the urge to palm my erection.
Mostly I was worried about jizzing in my pants if so much as a stiff breeze touched my cock.
“Callum,” he whispered, his voice dancing over my skin. “I want to taste you.”
Oh, holy shit. We still hadn’t done that yet.
We’d dry humped and jerked and done all manner of things over our clothes and with our pants around our knees, but we’d hadn’t explored oral yet.
Mostly I hadn’t initiated it because what if I was bad at it?
I’d never sucked a dick before. Not that Damien had, but there was no way he’d be bad at it.
And even if he was, I’d probably enjoy it anyway because it was Damien.
I could not, however, get that same logic to apply to myself. I’d tried, and I’d planned to ask him some time if that’s something he’d be okay with me doing, but I always chickened out.
Damien was braver than I was.
“Yeah,” I told him, after probably too much time had passed, because Damien paused.
“Are you sure? We don’t have to. You can say no.”
He was so sweet and earnest, so fucking sincere that I didn’t have to accept his offer to blow me, that I had a hard time not laughing.
“I promise it’s okay. I was just having a mini crisis about the fact that I’d wanted to ask you the same thing for a while but haven’t been able to get up the courage.”
Damien, however, had no qualms about laughing and it bubbled out of him as he sank to the floor between my knees. “I’m not sure if I’m brave or just really fucking horny.”
Damien’s hands slid down my sides, his fingers dipped into the waist of my lounge pants.
It was a Saturday afternoon, and I’d planned on staying home and doing nothing all day so I hadn’t bothered getting dressed.
Or putting underwear on. And the tent in my pants made that fact super fucking obvious.
Damien held my gaze and leaned forward, putting his mouth on me over the fabric of my pants. A sound tried to come out of me, and I tried to stop it and the result was the most unsexy choking noise coming from my throat as I tried desperately not to come.
Damien didn’t say anything about the noise I made, and instead he closed his eyes and continued to mouth me through my pants.
It was hot and damp, and it had no business being as arousing as it was, but my balls were about to burst and my stomach hurt from using everything in my power not to come all over the place before he even got my pants down.
He looked up at me and leaned back, holding my gaze. I was mesmerized or bewitched or something, unable to even blink. He pulled my pants down a little, and I lifted my ass to help him. And then suddenly I realized my dick was exposed and Damien was really going to—
Oh.
My.
God.
Ohmygod.
Nothing had ever felt so good, and I worried a little that nothing would feel as good again.
Damien’s mouth was soft and warm. His tongue caressed my cock, and I fit into his mouth like I was meant to be there.
It was a fucking trip to look down and see my cock in someone’s mouth. And not just anyone.
Damien.
Damien was sucking my dick like it was his life’s mission. He was eager and messy, and he ended up choking himself on my cock, which had no business being as hot as it was.
My hands sank into his hair, and I realized, when he choked a second time, that I’d been pushing on his head, so I made myself ease up. I carded my fingers through his hair once, then again, before holding on to him.
“I’m not going to last,” I warned him. “I’m close, oh, God.” I tried to pull away, but Damien stayed where he was and let me come in his mouth, and down his throat, and on his lips.
I’d never forget how he looked when he pulled away. Red, puffy lips slick with spit and come. Eyes that burned bright like stars, and a sassy, proud-as-fuck expression on his face.
“That was…” My breath panted out of me like I’d run a marathon. “Holy fuck. My bones melted.”
It only took me a second to work up the courage to make the offer. “Did you want me to return the favor?”
I thought Damien would jump on the chance, but he just smiled at me kind of softly and said, “Not yet.”
“Why not?” I asked, suddenly offended that he didn’t want my mouth on him. Did he think I’d be bad at it? I’d seen his dick before, touched it, held it and jerked it, so that couldn’t be his reason for rebuffing my advances.
Damien rose up on his knees and he was only a little shorter than I was when I was sitting down. He stared me in the eyes, not caring that my dick was still hanging out of my pants.
“It’s not a tit for tat thing, Cal.” His voice was soft. “I don’t want you to offer because you think you owe me something.”
“That wasn’t… I want to,” I told him, imploring him to believe me. “I’ve wanted to for a while.”
His face broke into a grin. “Really?” His voice tipped up and delight danced in his eyes.
My only choice was to roll my eyes at him. “Yes, really. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a little crazy about you.”
Scratch that. I was a lot crazy about him.
Totally gone for him. In love with him. Despite my better judgment.
Despite knowing I shouldn’t have even looked at him once, let alone twice, let alone kissed him.
And touched him. But the more time we spent together, the less he felt like Sam’s and the more he felt like mine.
I’d never want Damien to have to choose between us, and the sensible thing to do would’ve been to stop sneaking. To stop letting him into my room. To stop seeking him out when Sam wasn’t around. If I was smart, I’d lock myself away from him until I left for college.
But I wasn’t smart.
I was a teenage boy who’d just come and wanted to come again. Preferably this time with a dick in my mouth, but I’d take what I could get.
“How do you want me?” Damien asked, getting to his feet. Standing in front of me like this put his dick at eye level. While I’d been wearing pajama pants, Damien was in a pair of jeans so tight they left nothing to the imagination.
“Just like that,” I told him and my heart about stopped when he pulled his zipper down and fished his cock out of his pants.
It was a good thing I’d already come, because his dick was right there and watching him touch himself, up close and personal, was enough to make me combust.
I wrapped a hand around my own aching cock and gave it a squeeze, willing him to behave.
Somewhere in the distance, a door slammed. Damien jumped back and tucked his dick away. I did the same, and I watched him practically sprint for my door. Once he was safely on the other side, I got up and softly padded to my bedroom door. I pressed my ear against it and heard voices outside.
Sam was home, and Jessica was with him. I recognized her laugh. And then there was another laugh.
Another girl.
I pressed my ear to the door harder and the words came through muffled, but clear enough to be understood.
The other girl was here to meet Damien.
The voices got farther away and when the front door shut again, I realized what happened.
It was the thing that was going to happen all along. No matter what.
He left.
He chose Sam.
And I was stupid to have wished for anything different.