Chapter 25
If I Forget You, O Jerusalem…
Sunlight streamed through the slats of the shutters in the bedroom and woke me.
It was nine in the morning; at the base, we were up by five, in total darkness.
Lily was still asleep. I didn’t want to wake her.
I walked into the living room and quietly opened the shutters.
The light that flooded the room blinded me.
The winter sun hung low in the southeast, the sky was blue from horizon to horizon, not a single cloud above.
I smiled to myself because I knew what was going to happen today. Lily had no idea.
Even though David had delivered the “message” from our friends – their opinion about what I was about to do – he was still the first one I called that morning to tell him: today is the day.
“You’re the first to know that this isn’t new.”
“I just want to say you’ve lost your mind. Does she know?” he asked, though he already knew the answer.
“You know the answer.”
“So maybe she doesn’t…”
“No chance,” I cut him off.
“There’s always a chance.”
“I know her. She’ll say yes! I even think she’s expecting at least a proposal. So today I’ll propose, and we’ll do it, today. We’ll see how it unfolds. I’m not a fortune teller.”
“And what about the parents?”
“Whose?”
“Yours, hers. Do they know?”
“Nobody knows except you. And soon Max and Serge.”
“And Lily?”
“Shhh … keep your voice down. Sorry, I need to talk quietly – she’ll find out soon.”
“When?”
We arranged that he, Max, and Serge would be the witnesses and that they’d pick us up around eleven.
He didn’t argue – he knew too well the rock standing before him.
When he asked where the wedding would be, I said: wherever we can buy a ring.
When he pointed out that people don’t get married on the Sabbath, I reminded him of the rabbinical ruling for emergencies.
“Good morning.” Just as I hung up the phone, Lily walked into the living room and sat on my lap.
“Who were you talking to?”
“David.”
“Plans?”
“He, Max, and Serge will be here at eleven. We’ll go out – maybe to Jerusalem.
” I racked my brain trying to think where I could find a ring on a Saturday.
Suddenly I remembered: in the Old City, shops were open.
I was sure I could buy one there. And the legendary restaurant Philadelphia was there too – a perfect backdrop for the day I had in mind.
“Jerusalem?” she asked. “Aren’t you tired? Why not just stay here?”
“Because I love that city. And we’ll eat at ‘Philadelphia.’ Do you know it?”
“I know it, I know it. It’s an amazing restaurant, but there’s no way we’ll get a table.”
“Be optimistic. You know Max. Trust me, he’ll make it happen.”
An hour later, we stood in front of Jaffa Gate, surrounded by crowds of every faith, sect, and color.
“You guys go on ahead. We’ll catch up, or meet here in half an hour,” I told David.
“Does she know?” he whispered. Lily stood with her back to us, gazing toward the new city.
“Don’t worry. She soon will.”
“Good luck.” He gave me a mischievous smile I’ll never forget. I knew he’d play along, and I gave him a thumbs-up.
“Come on, let’s look for a ring.”
“A ring? What ring?” She was startled.
“A wedding ring.” I could have said diamond, silver, or any number of things, but I chose to be direct.
“This is how you’re proposing to me?”
“Yes. This is my way. I’m proposing to you.” It wasn’t planned, and the words weren’t perfect, but once spoken, they were out in the world.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“Absolutely sure?”
I nodded. Before I could say more, she threw her arms around me in a hug I’ll never forget.
“So when’s the wedding?” I hadn’t prepared to answer that one on the spot.
“Today, Lily. If you agree.” She didn’t ask another question. Her eyes welled with tears.
“It works for me – better yet, it works for us.”
“I didn’t plan anything beyond coming to Jerusalem,” I admitted sheepishly.
“Now we’ll find a place to get married. I know it’s possible.”
She was well aware of my complicated relationship with my parents and also that hers would have liked advance notice.
“What about our parents?” she asked.
“They’ll have no choice but to accept it.” I had no idea where that confidence came from, but I was convinced that in the end, both sets of parents would have to accept the marriage as a fait accompli.
She was quiet. Maybe she doubted what I was saying, but she decided to cooperate, still digesting the surprise.
“So, shall we buy a ring?” I asked rhetorically. I knew that an affirmative answer meant that “Operation Wedding” would proceed.
“Yes,” she replied firmly. “Let’s buy it and get married. By the way, you’re insane.”
“That’s not news now, is it?” I smiled.
“Do they know?” she pointed in the direction the other three had taken.
“Yes, they know.”
“They didn’t say a word! Not even David!”
“Max actually did say something, but you either didn’t hear or didn’t understand.”
Buying the ring turned out to be the easiest part. We walked into the first shop by Jaffa Gate, and within minutes walked out with the ring she had chosen. I think she just wanted the ordeal over with. Back at Jaffa Gate, Max demanded to see it.
“Before you sanctify her, let me check if it fits. Come on…” he was always impatient. “Show us.”
“In the restaurant,” I told him firmly.
Luckily, we didn’t need his tricks to find a table at Philadelphia. The place was packed with Israelis, none of whom had any idea they were about to witness a wedding.
Before coffee and dessert, I handed the ring to Max to check. I knew that was something you were supposed to do.
“It looks all right. I approve,” he said solemnly and passed it to David, who passed it to Serge. Each one said, “Approved.”
I was moved. So was Lily.
“Good luck,” they said together. David added, “And good health…”
“Thanks,” I said, and in the same breath slipped the ring onto Lily’s finger. “Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring, according to the law of Moses and Israel.”
“Do I need to say anything else?” I asked, as the three of them stood stunned and uncharacteristically quiet.
“Say something about Jerusalem,” David suggested.
“Uh … If I forget you… That’s what they say at weddings, right?”
“At the breaking of the glass, I think,” Max said.
“Yes, at the breaking of the glass,” David confirmed.
“If I forget you, O Jerusalem, may my right hand forget its skill. May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth if I do not remember you,” I recited with ceremonial pathos.
“Break a glass,” Max urged, handing me a thick one.
“Are you crazy? The religious guys in the course told me: it’s enough to sanctify with a ring and witnesses. No need to break a glass – or a leg…”
On the ride back to Tel-Aviv, Lily rested her head on my shoulder, her hand nestled in mine, and fell asleep. I couldn’t even doze off.
I held her hand and felt the ring – our wedding ring. Only weeks earlier, I had told David, “She’s mine.” Now she truly was. I felt the weight of responsibility settle on me.
My heart overflowed with emotion. It had all happened so fast. But I knew – I would never regret it.
The knowledge that we had to tell our parents, though – that she was now mine, and I hers – cast a shadow over my joy.
I couldn’t imagine how they’d react. That’s why I wanted to face them alone.
Later, I realized that was the right decision.