17. Austin
SEVENTEEN
Austin
T he kitchen smells like fresh coffee and a hint of cinnamon, and the morning light filters through the curtains, giving everything a warm golden glow. I’m sitting at the old wooden table that’s been in our family for as long as I can remember. It’s covered in nicks and scratches, each one a reminder of the years we’ve spent around it—eating, laughing, arguing. Levi leans against a counter while our mother sits across from me, her reading glasses perched on her nose as she flips through the local newspaper.
“So, Tampa wants you back,” Levi says, leaning forward with a skeptical look.
“It would appear that is the case,” I reply, placing my mug gently back on the table. The warm coffee still lingers in my throat, a small comfort in this swirling mess of emotions.
Mom peeks over the top of her newspaper, her eyebrows arching in mild disbelief. “I’d think you’d be happier than you seem to be.”
“I am happy,” I say with a chuckle, leaning back in my chair. “I’m also conflicted.”
Levi shakes his head, the incredulity clear on his face. “I’m home for a weekend, you ask me to come out to Mom’s so we can talk, and you’re going to tell me that after all the hard work you’ve put in to get back up to par—”
“And after putting us through so much at the same time,” Mom interjects, her voice sharp with the reminder of my melodramatic and immature actions over the past eighteen months.
Levi wags a finger, the kind that’s seen one too many family debates, at her. “Yes, to that, too. After all you’ve put us through, you’re going to sit here and tell me that not only can you go back to the team you loved, but now you’re conflicted about it?”
Does it sound crazy and absolutely absurd when he puts it like that? It does, and I’ll be the first to admit it. It sounds like I don’t appreciate what I have, like I’m somehow “better than” what’s on my plate. But it’s not about that.
I let my gaze sweep across the room, finally meeting Levi’s with a resigned sigh. “Yes.”
He looks at me as if I’ve just asked to borrow his last piece of pizza. “Yes?”
“To what you asked. Yes. I realize how insane it all sounds. My whole life has been off the rails since the day I signed with the Thunderbolts, really. It’s like I’ve been on a roller coaster that won’t slow down, and now, with this decision, it’s like I’m trying to decide whether to stay on the ride or jump off and hope for a softer landing.”
Mom sets the newspaper aside, her gaze softening. “Austin, sometimes life throws us curveballs and we have to figure out how to hit them. But just because something is difficult doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it.”
Levi leans back, shaking his head with a mix of frustration and understanding. “Well, whatever you decide, just make sure it’s what you really want. Because in the end, that’s what matters most. Let’s break it down. What’s holding you back?”
I take a deep breath, searching for the right words. “It’s not just about the football. It’s about everything that comes with it—the pressure, the expectations, the constant grind.”
As the words come out of my mouth, my mother grunts, shifting in her seat. I notice her pause, her brow furrowing slightly.
“Well, I think I know what the real reason could be,” she says as she leans forward and tosses the open newspaper onto the table for our viewing pleasure.
She smooths out the paper on the table, right between us, and I see it—a photo of me at the game last night. But it’s not just me. Bex is there, too, tucked against my side, her head resting on my shoulder. The way we’re leaning into each other, it’s obvious there’s more going on than just watching a game.
Mom looks up at me, and I catch the glimmer in her eyes. She’s got that look—part curiosity, part amusement, and a whole lot of knowing. “Well, would you look at that,” she says, tapping the picture with a finger as she exchanges a look with Levi. “You and Bex made quite the impression last night.”
I can feel my ears burn a little as I glance back at the photo. It’s just a moment captured in time, but it feels like it’s saying a lot more than I’d planned on. I lean back in my chair, trying to play it cool, but I can’t help the small smile tugging at my lips. “Yeah,” I say, my voice a little rough. “We did, didn’t we?”
Levi pumps a fist in the air. “I knew hiring her to work for us would be the best idea ever.”
“Shush,” Mom yells, grabbing a stray piece of the real estate section, balling it up and tossing it Levi’s way. “She’s not a mail-order bride.”
“True, but so you guys know, if it didn’t work out I’d totally blame it on Georgie.” He snickers.
“I’ll let her know you said that,” Mom grumbles as she looks my way. “Ignore him. This is all making more sense now. What do you need from us, Austin?”
Goosebumps ripple across my skin as my mother’s hand closes on top of mine. This family. Levi and I won the lottery when it came to moms; we got lucky. The fact she would ask how she can help me, yet again, after all the ick I’ve put them through is a testament to how amazing and strong this woman is.
Levi kicks a chair out and throws himself in it, sidling up to the table next to me. “I feel like I need a shot of whiskey for this conversation.”
“You and me both,” Mom mumbles as she grabs a diet soda out of the fridge, laughing. “Never thought Austin would be the one head over heels like this.”
“Hey!” I wave a hand. “Hi. Still here. We can talk about Austin or we can talk to Austin. I know I prefer the latter.”
Levi takes a can of diet soda from our mother and he turns so he is fully facing me. “So, go on, then. Tell us what you need.”
“I’ve thought about this long and hard, and I don’t want you guys to talk me out of it, okay? I need to do something that shakes things up for me.”
I watch as their eyes meet, then they smirk at the same time as if they’ve practiced for ages to coordinate that tiny effort. Family.
Levi leans in closer. “I’m listening. I’m also available to help as needed.”
“I’m liking the sound of this,” Mom agrees, scooting her chair closer as well. “If it’s about Bex, are we doing a grand gesture?”
“More along the lines of making a decision,” I respond.
Mom’s eyes soften with understanding. “Austin, you have to remember that life isn’t always about choosing between one thing and another. Sometimes, it’s about finding a balance that works for you. And sometimes, you can have both if you’re willing to work for it.”
Levi nods in agreement. “Mom’s right. You’ve always been someone who dives headfirst into everything. Maybe this is just another opportunity to figure out how to blend what you love with what you need.”
“And that is it.” I nod slowly, feeling the weight of their support. “I guess I’m just afraid of making the wrong choice. What if I go back to Tampa and it’s not what I hoped it would be? What if I’m not ready for that level of commitment again in football but I am ready to shift that energy in a different direction?”
Levi leans forward, his expression serious. “Listen, Austin. No decision comes with a guarantee. But you’ve worked hard to get to where you are, and you’ve got people who care about you and support you. Whatever you choose, just make sure it’s a decision you can live with. And if things don’t go as planned, remember that you’ve got the strength to adapt and overcome.”
Mom reaches over and places a hand on mine, her touch warm and reassuring. “Follow what feels right for you, and don’t be afraid to take a chance.”
I look between them, feeling a surge of gratitude for their wisdom and support. “Thank you. This does help. It tells me that I need more than a favor.”
Mom’s eyes light up again. “We’re back to the grand gesture?”
“Kind of,” I say, my line of sight flicking to my brother. “However, what I think I need, and want, will require more than a grand gesture. It’s going to need some serious magic.”
“Woo hoo! I love it.” Mom claps her hands as she reaches for her phone. “Where do we start?”