49. Sour Puss
Chapter forty-nine
Sour Puss
Paul
One October day, after I cussed out a sheep who wasn’t cooperating, Josh got fed up with me. He snatched the cap off his head and swung it at me.
“Get out of here, you damn, filthy dog!” he shouted. “I can’t take your sour puss for one more goddamn minute!”
As I defended myself from his strikes, I threw a couple of haymakers. “What’s your problem?”
After taking one on the jaw, he slammed the cap back on his head, and gave me a shove.
“You! You’re nothing but a grumpy, pouty, mopey bastard.
So, go do whatever it takes to fix it. Take a long bath, sit out at the pond, or go to goddamn Chicago with all this money you’re making now, but get away from me until you’re you again.
” He pointed up and down at me. “Cause this jerkoff isn’t one I can deal with anymore. ”
I tossed a hand at him and walked away, needing a break anyway.
Thinking back to my talk with Dad on the porch, I knew I could be free to go now. I had savings. I had money coming in from the blog and affiliates now steady and enough to start a life with her. So, why was I still here? Why hadn’t I jumped in my truck and headed for Chicago?
Because Maggie didn’t want me.
She’d never answered any of my texts or calls. Sighing, I hopped in my truck and took off for Mainview. I needed to get away. Maybe going there would help me figure out what to do. I headed for the park where Maggie and I had lunch that day, needing to marinate in good memories of her.
It was a cloudy day as fall settled into the Midwest. The air was crisp, the trees were turning vibrant shades of orange, red, and yellow.
A fierce cold wind whipped around, tearing leaves from their branches and scattering them all around.
It was a time of year I usually enjoyed, but this year I didn’t enjoy anything. Not even the red maple leaves.
There was no joy without Maggie.
When I reached town, I grabbed a sandwich at a local shop and went to the park. Thought it might help to be at one of the last places I had good memories of Maggie. It was chilly and windy, but it felt fitting.
As I reached the drained fountain, I came across a familiar figure.
“Mr. Roth?”
His eyes met mine. “Paul Stratton. You’re about the last person I expected to see here, other than my daughter.”
I sat on the fountain ledge. “We’re not together, sir. She left and that was it.”
“Not too surprising, is it? The two of you have been at odds since you were children.”
I felt my body tense. “At odds?”
He held onto his hat when a gust blew through the park. “Never on the same page. Never on the same planet. The push and pull between you two never ends.”
I huffed but knew he wasn’t wrong.
“Any idea why?”
Stuffing one of his hands in his pocket, he rose. “You’re both too nice. Too accommodating. Each of you trying to save the other. Neither of you speak up for yourself and say what you want. And now look at you. Haven’t slept in days, have you?”
I shook my head. “I miss her, sir. So damn much it makes my chest ache.”
He shuddered against the chilled wind. “That makes two of us.”
While I couldn’t tell whether he meant his wife or his daughter, I didn’t pry. “Don’t suppose you would give me your blessing to be with Maggie. If she’d have me, that is.”
Holding his hat, he took a few steps toward me. “If you get her to give you a chance, I won’t stand in your way. But I don’t think my blessing means much to her.”
I stood, facing him. “Sir, the blessing isn’t for her. It’s for me. I need to know that you believe in me as the right partner for her. The farm has been sold, I don’t have to stay in Buena Vista anymore, but if you think we’re wrong for each other, I want to know now.”
Mr. Roth pressed his lips together. “Tell me why you didn’t go with her to Chicago when she asked you.”
I blew out a sigh. “I didn’t want to trap her into being a farmer’s wife. I wanted her to go out and be a photographer or do whatever she wanted for a career. Knowing how she wanted to go, and knowing I had to stay to take care of the farm, I let her go.”
“So, now that the farm is sold, and yes, I knew it had been and didn’t tell her, why didn’t you go to Chicago with her? That other idiot wasn’t the right man for her. We both knew that,” he said shaking his head.
I paced a few steps away, then back. “Guess I’ve been too nice, like you said.
If she wanted him, I wasn’t going to get in her way.
Haven’t told her about the farm or my new business either because I wanted to figure out what I was doing.
That, and I didn’t want to influence her decisions.
She’s a free spirit and an amazing woman.
I don’t want to force her to choose. I want her to make the decision that’s right for her in her heart. ”
He stood, standing closer to set a hand on my shoulder.
“If you wait until everything is perfect, you won’t have any time left to enjoy it.
” He paused, turning away. “As a man who just lost his wife, my advice is to stop waiting. If you’re sure she’s the one for you, go.
Tell her. Don’t waste another minute. Time isn’t on your side.
The person you love could be taken in a heartbeat. ”
The ache in my heart at being away from Maggie doubled. I’d already wasted so much time, doubting and second-guessing everything. But Maggie had chosen me when she came home. In my heart, I knew just what to do. There was just one more thing I had to clear up before I left.
“Why didn’t you like me then?” I asked. “In high school and even when I was with her this summer?”
He’d been so sure we weren’t right for each other our whole lives. I remembered the way he glared at me when he came to school events and saw us together. Even the day of graduation, he’d been trying to call Maggie away from me when we were saying our goodbyes.
“I didn’t think you were right for my daughter when you were kids. You were so stoic, so void of emotion while Margaret was a beacon of light. I never thought you’d do anything but dim that light.” With another gust of wind, Mr. Roth grabbed his hat before it flew away.
His words hit hard, but I refused to show him that. He had the right to his opinion.
“With the way Margaret hung on you,” he continued, “I also wondered if your passions could be harnessed or if I would become a young grandfather. Separating the two of you was best, which was why I agreed for her to go to college in Chicago. This summer, I knew Margaret was only staying a short time. It didn’t make sense to start something.
But Kelly was so happy to see the two of you together.
She talked about you two getting married after she was gone so many times.
It brought her such peace to know that Margaret would have you. ”
“She was an amazing lady,” I stated, my voice no more than a rasp.
With a nod, Mr. Roth swallowed hard. “Kelly saw the connection between you two, so it’s there.
She was never wrong about those things. So, no, I won’t stand in your way.
Margaret deserves to be happy, whether she believes that or not.
So long as she’s content with you, then the two of us will be just fine. ”
A smile spread across my face for the first time since the Summer Festival.
Having her parents’ blessing meant everything to me.
They put their faith in me to be there for Maggie, to take care of her, to help her bloom and grow as an artist, and to be part of her happiness.
That felt like the last piece of the intricate puzzle for me to feel ready to track her down and make her mine.
“Thank you, sir. I won’t let you or her down ever again.”
Racing for the truck, I hopped in and ate my sandwich on the way to a store I’d been eyeing.
After I had made an important purchase, I went home to square everything away with Rob and prepare for remote work.
With this newfound lightness in my chest, I made enough content to take a few days off.
It wasn’t going to be easy to convince Maggie to give me another chance, but I couldn’t worry about that now.
I’d stand outside her door until she let me in so I could explain everything and beg her forgiveness.