12. Clover
12
Clover
P eeking through one eye, I checked to see just how serious Lake was taking this meditation session. When I saw that his eyes were still closed, his legs were still crossed Indian style, and his hands were still perched in front of him praying style, I closed my eye back. Releasing a deep breath, I attempted to re-focus on finding my peaceful place. As the sounds of the gongs and bells played from the speaker, I practiced deep breathing to center myself.
Doing meditation was Lake’s idea, and I gladly took him up on the offer because it was a way for us to spend some time together. It had been almost two weeks since he and Vinny fought, and they had yet to say a word to each other. They were both stubborn as hell, refusing to speak to each other, and I was doing my best to mend that bridge. Brooke was right; they needed each other, no matter how much they tried to act like they didn’t. She had taken Vinny out to lunch with Blaise while I was getting my one-on-one time with Lake. We were the only two capable of possibly getting them back on track.
“Tashi delek,” Lake said the words that cued me in that it was the end of the session.
Opening my eyes, I smiled at him. “What does that mean again?”
“May good things come to you,” he told me, turning the speaker down.
“Tashi delek,” I repeated. “I’m gonna start saying that every day. Speaking of good things—”
“Sis, c’mon. We just had a great meditation session. I’m feeling relaxed and zenned out. I’m not trying to get into all of that,” he stood to his feet and stretched his hand in my direction to help me up.
Sticking my hand in his, I rotated myself up to my feet and sighed. “Lake. You don’t miss him?”
“Nope.”
Twisting my lips to the side, I rolled my eyes. “Your face is telling me a different story.”
“Yeah, aight,” he chuckled and made his way out of his meditation room.
“He misses you,” I trailed behind him.
He sucked his teeth and paused his stride. “That nigga said that?”
“Yep,” I lied, pressing my lips together tightly.
“You a lying ass lil’ girl,” he waved me off and continued walking.
Releasing a laugh, I followed him as quick as I could down the stairs in his big ass house. “Okay, it might not have been in those exact words, but in a roundabout way, I know that’s exactly what he meant.”
“And what were his exact words?” He investigated with his eyebrows suspiciously raised.
“He said, and I quote, ‘he know what it is.’ That sounds a lot like I miss the fuck out of him if you ask me,” I turned up my charm as we walked into his kitchen.
He stared at me with a stale expression and lifted his arm in the air. “You see what I’m doing?”
“Reaching for the stars?” I giggled, taking a seat at the island.
“Reaching is exactly right. And you would know because that’s exactly what you just did with that bullshit ass statement.”
I was fighting for my life trying to hold in my laughter, but it came rolling out anyway. Lake was the most unserious serious nigga I ever met in my life. My sides were hurting from laughing so hard.
“You laughing because you know it’s true,” he passed me a water bottle from the refrigerator. “I don’t want to talk about that lame ass nigga. He still gotta run me another fade so until that happens, there’s nothing else to discuss when it come to him. You gon’ set that up?”
“Set up a fight? For you to beat my husband’s ass?” I turned the charm up another level. “Never.”
Laughing, he shook his head while gulping down some of his water. “Clover, you can stop with your shit. Nothing you say is gon’ get me and that nigga in the same space unless we squaring up again. That’s the only thing that’ll make all this shit okay.”
“I hear you,” I conceded for the moment, but I was gon’ definitely attack again with a different game plan.
“Nigga left me to bury my fuckin’ momma, by myself . I know what I said, that I was okay with that shit, and parts of me are, but fuck him, Clo! I needed him then . Now? I don’t need him. He killed her and left me with the bag of planning her funeral. How fucked up is that?” He vented, finally getting to the bottom of the real issue.
Nodding slowly, I remained quiet for a beat because I didn’t want him to shut back down. If he was open and willing to talk, then I wanted to leave the space for him to do so.
“That is a lot on you,” I sympathized in a calm tone. “And I’m not saying it’s right by any means, him leaving you hanging like that, but can you imagine how he might’ve felt? For most of his life, his mom hated him and then turned around and tried to kill him not once but twice . I just…I think that he didn’t even know how to process that shit, ya know? He wouldn’t have been a good support for you either way.”
He shrugged and fell silent for a while. “The things that happened to River, and the way our mom treated her and DaVinci because of it is fucked up, Clo. I understand that. Sometimes with them, I feel like an outsider, like they always had a closer bond and some secret shit going on. Now I understand why; they trauma bonded to each other. In a way, that does make me an outsider with them, and deep down somewhere, I’m glad as fuck to not have experienced that,” a single tear slid down his face. “But fuck man, deep down somewhere, I wished I was as close to them as they are to each other too.”
My fast-moving brain wanted to make a joke about the fact that Lake’s lil’ ass knew what trauma bonding was. This was absolutely not the time to be making any kind of jokes, so I silenced my inner voice.
“Lake, I know it may seem like they are closer, but from the outside looking in, I do think all three of you are relatively close. I think each of you has your own special bond with the other. They did go through something traumatic together, and that has bonded them in a way that’s different, but that doesn’t make you any less special or important to them. When Vinny and I first started getting serious, he talked about you a lot. How great of a father you are and how much you grew up when Blaise was born and how he hopes to be a great dad just like you.”
“You blowing smoke up my ass?” His suspicious eyebrows returned.
I chuckled and wiggled my head back and forth. “That’s a quotable, on my unborn. He loves the hell out of you. River too. I know things are tense right now, and I get that, but it doesn’t have to be that way forever. It’s like y’all’s grandfather died and everything fell apart.”
“Yeah, well when the patriarch dies, the glue that he uses to keep everything together seems to run out of stock,” he shrugged again.
“Until someone comes along with a new glue,” I pointed at myself while bouncing my eyebrows. “It might not be as strong as grandpa’s, but it still works.”
“Tell that to your ghetto ass husband,” he removed his phone from his pocket.
After looking at the screen, he held up his index finger and took the call. Using that time, I took my own phone out and shot Brooke a text to see if she was having any more luck than I was.
Brooke: Bitch, your husband is just as stubborn as his damn brother so that’s a fat ass no. You?
Me: Lmao, planting little seeds, hopefully they start growing so they can make up.
Brooke: ?? there’s your shooting star baby, wish on it.
I bust out laughing at her last message just as Lake ended his call.
“What’s funny?”
“Nothing,” I shoved my phone back in my pocket and finished drinking my water.
“I gotta go handle some business, so are you staying here or heading out?”
Sliding off the stool, a small smile formed on my face. “Awh, Lake, you trust me to leave me in your house and not go snooping around?”
“Fuck no,” he grinned, draping his arm around me. “But I at least know you wouldn’t steal shit or post anything crazy to social media.”
“That’s a fact,” I agreed as he walked me to the door. I picked up my car keys from the table by the door and faced him. “Thank you for the meditation session, and I truly do hope that the three of you can repair what’s broken between y’all.”
“You’re welcome. Anytime, sis,” he completely ignored the last part.
There were so many other words that wanted to escape my mouth, but I just hugged him and left. The seeds were planted. My part was done. Them two crazy ass niggas weren’t about to stress me or my daughter the hell out. Cranking the AC once I was inside my car, I drove off and decided to pull up on my dad. I knew he was at one of his auto shops today, and it wasn’t too far from Lake’s house.
“Hey, Charm!” I answered as I maneuvered through the streets.
“Biiiiiitchhhhhh!”
I could tell the tea was hot by how she dragged her word out.
“What’s the deal, baby?!”
“Little Miss River got Imani shooketh ! I know you said she said something to her at the nail shop, but what the fuck did she say?”
“Did you just run into her?”
“More like she ran away from me. Baby girl saw me and took off like her life depended on it!”
“Because it does,” I laughed, thinking about the last time I saw that ditzy bitch. “River told her that if she breathes the same air that I breathe again, she won’t be breathing at all. I guess she figured she’ll just steer clear of both of us, which is really her best fuckin’ bet.”
“That gahdamn DaVinci done turned my twin into a mini gangsta,” she teased with a giggle.
“That’s not even on some gangsta shit, but some real shit. Fuck Imani’s weird ass. She was out of pocket.”
“Wayyyy outta pocket. Anyway, how is the mission going? How’s my niece handling all this pressure?”
My hand went right to my belly, and I gave it a comforting rub. “The mission is still up in the air. Brooke isn’t getting far with Vinny, and I’m not sure I got so far with Lake. We’ll just have to let time do its thing with this one.”
“Yeah, there’s only so much y’all can do. At the very least, y’all can say y’all tried.”
“Yeah,” I sighed and hoped like hell that time was the key to this mess.
We wrapped up our conversation as I pulled into the parking lot of my father’s auto shop. Once I killed the engine, I took a minute to breathe and gather myself. Lucky was kicking hard as hell, so I ran my hand back and forth across my belly.
“Hey, baby girl. I know you’re in there, you don’t have to kick mommy so hard,” I talked to her, and she seemed to respond with another kick, making me laugh. “Okay, lil’ lady, do whatever you want.”
Pushing me and my belly out of the car after another couple of minutes, I set the alarm and then walked into the air-conditioned building. Some of the mechanics greeted me and let me know that my dad was in his office, so I headed down the hall.
“Clo!” A big smile donned his face the moment he saw me. He stood up, walked around his desk, and hugged me. “What are you doing here, baby girl?”
“I just wanted to come see you and see what you were up to.”
He motioned for me to take a seat, which I did, and he took a seat back at his desk. “Paperwork bullshit. My least favorite part about being a business owner.”
“Yeah, I know,” I chuckled, resting my hands on my belly. “I think I want to become one.”
“A business owner?”
I confirmed by nodding my head. “DaVinci owns art galleries and a nail shop. River owns a coffee shop. Lake owns a yoga studio. And I had no idea all this time that they were even business owners outside of the art and the street shit they’re into. I loved being an investment banker because I love the numbers game. I know DaVinci doesn’t really want me working, but I think he’ll be fine if I start my own venture capital company.”
“You think he’ll be fine with it? As in…you haven’t spoken with him about this yet?”
“No, I haven’t. I wanted to pick your brain to see if you think it’s a good idea.”
“Well, honey, I’ve never known you to have a bad idea, I’ll give you that. A venture capital company is doable, especially with your skill set and expertise. At the same time…” his sentence trailed off.
“At the same time what? ”
“This is a conversation you should be having with your husband first. Clover, I know you’re used to being an independent woman and doing things your way, but he is your husband now. If he doesn’t want you working, but you’re wanting to start a business then there’s a discussion that needs to be had. Between the two of you, not me and you. I know you value mine and your mother’s opinion, and I love that you do, but your husband has to come first now, not me and your mother. I think that is probably the toughest thing in the beginning stages of a marriage, learning how to run to one another instead of outside people,” he lovingly schooled me.
“I understand that, and I do plan to talk to him. I don’t see him agreeing to me doing that though. At least not right now.”
“And how will you handle it if he’s not okay with it? Because remember…he’s not one of the guys that you’re used to dealing with. I know that DaVinci is a great man with great principles. I get him not wanting you to work, and I trust one thousand percent that he’s going to make sure you’re well taken care of. You’re not used to sitting around and twiddling your thumbs, so how does the conflict get resolved? Where are you two willing to compromise to make sure both of you are happy and both of your needs are met?”
Staring at him, I digested everything he said before sighing. “You’re right. We need to talk, and I gotta figure out where a good middle ground may be for both of us. I’ll present it to him and we can go from there. I never even thought about it like that because had the nigga told me no, I would’ve thrown a fit until he said yes.”
“Because that’s what spoiled muthafuckas do,” he winked at me and we shared a laugh.
My dad was right. I planned to go home and put the nastiest and sloppiest head on DaVinci to get him to agree to my plan. And if he didn’t agree, then I’d just keep sucking his dick until he eventually gave in.