Chapter 2
Ahazu lays in bed staring at me as I reread the invite for the fourth time. I can feel his eyes judging me like he so often does when he thinks I”m being an idiot. I”ve always known this was a possibility, but I never thought it would actually happen. It was one of those dreams that little kids so often get. Like getting a Familiar or speaking to a goddess.
Okay, both of those are bad examples since they”ve happened to me and my brother, but still. The thought is the same. As much as I wanted it to happen, I never once thought about what I”d do if it actually did happen. Now I have a big decision to make, a massive one even. Being in the guild is not something you can just agree to on a whim. This is for life. If I consume this thin sheet of paper, then I”ll be tied to the guild forever. I”ll never be able to decide that I just don”t like killing anymore, never be able to retire to raise a family. I”ll always have to split my time between what I want to do and the assignments I accept.
”Astrate, go to bed. You won”t make a decision tonight and you shouldn”t. Commune with the Goddess in your sleep tonight, speak to Fowlynn tomorrow when he returns from his hunt and think about it. Make your decision when I”m gone and tell no one. I”ll love you either way, just know that I”m proud that you got the invite.”
I do as my brother says and close my eyes while still clutching the paper to my chest. While I drift off into the dreamscape, I think about the offer. I consider my options and I try to picture what my life will be like with both options.
If I think about denying the invitation, I see myself accepting odd jobs here and there. I”ll probably apply to the military and get in because my scores from the academy are so high that I graduated first in my class. I”ll rise through the ranks fast and retire early. Then I”d spend my days gardening and waiting for Ahazu to get back from whatever humanitarian mission he”s on. I might meet my mate and have the perfect life with 2.5 kids and a house with a white picket fence. Boo would come help me run my house like his father did for my mother before us. It would be mostly safe and wholly boring.
If I accept the invitation though, I wouldn’t live life normally. I”d get jobs daily, or weekly at least and I”d go out on missions, assassinating the wicked and bringing justice for the misaccused. I could still meet my mates, and eventually I”d tell them I”m a member of the guild. We may even have children, and I”d teach them my skills, help them rise to my level and maybe even get them an invitation to the guild as well. My magic would flourish and the Goddess would smile down on me.
Both alternatives have their pros and cons, but the more I think it over, the more I”m drawn to accepting. As I travel down the dark dirt path in my mind, shadows crowd either side of me and a cold breeze blows my hair around my face. My clothes shift from the sleeping shorts and t-shirt I wore to bed to the leather shorts and tight cropped tank top I often wear on missions. The scuttle of tiny feet ring in my ears and the scent of scales fill my nose. Wings beat in the air around me and pincers click in the dark.
Most people would be frightened by these things, the oppressive darkness and the sounds of animals in the night. I”m not. They are signs that my Goddess has called me. She sends the animals she created to guide me on my journey to her side, to protect me on my trip to see her. Fur brushes along my ankles and scaly skin slither over my feet. Spiders drop from giant willows, playing in my hair and crawling on my arms. I smile at them all.
”Hello dear friends. I”m glad to see you on this dark night. I assume She is requesting my presence?”
A massive solid black snake rises to the top of his body from the ground. His body is bigger around than my own and his mouth is big enough to swallow me whole, but I don”t fear him like so many others would. His eyes glisten in the night like jewels and his forked tongue flickers out of his pointed mouth. His triangled head is bigger than my own and it bobs up and down in answer to my question. He lays back on his belly slithering in front of me to take me to our Goddess. I know he is her lover, shifted into his snake form. She has three others, the Spider, the Rat, and the Bat. All of them the first of their kind to change from a God form to an Animal form. She created the animals in honor of their love for Her.
The Snake leads me down the path a little longer, turning right a few times before the light of her fire breaks up the darkness of the night. I know that this is a dream, that I”m not physically here, but being in her presence always leaves an impression. Her white hair floats around her body as if it”s caught in a breeze no one else can feel. Her simple black gown pulses with magic and the cauldron over the bonfire bubbles with something green that smells like apples. As I come into the light, she smiles at me. Her voice echoing in my mind without her lips having to move.
”Astrate. Child of my life. I”ve missed you so. I see you walk alone tonight. Did Ahazu not wish to see me?”
I know that one wrong word would upset the Goddess, so I smile and fall to my knees, keeping my head bowed as I think back to her. ”Goddess Astrate, I”m humbled that you wished to see me on this glorious night. Ahazu has an important day tomorrow. He is meeting with the last of his Quad, his healing troupe”s final member. I”m sure you know, this person should be the last of the mates you”ve sent for him. He sent his regards and asked me to beg you to forgive him. He will visit your brother on this night, and hope to finally find peace with the magic the two of you bestowed on him.”
The Goddess sighs, pain and understanding ringing in the tone of that one simple breath. ”Yes, I”ve seen him struggle with the gift of Death. But one day soon he will see that it is a two sided coin. That which he can take, he can also give. It is my fault that he had to discover that gift so tragically. I”ll speak to my brother and make sure yours finds his peace.”
She stirs the cauldron as her mate, the Rat, steps over to me. He helps me to my feet and takes my hand to lead me to the chair next to the Goddess. She is putting her potion into six different goblets, and she smiles at me as I take my seat.
”Drink this, my child. For it will give you the clarity you seek. When you wake up, all will be well and your path will be clear.”
I tip the goblet back, downing the apple-smelling liquid. It”s thick, like a gel, but it tastes like bubblegum. I”m a bit put off by it, but one glance at the Goddess and I know I have to finish it all. Closing my eyes, I swallow again and again until the goblet runs dry. There is a split second of time where I gag, thinking I”m going to throw up everything I just drank.
”Good child. Now sleep. In the morning, your new journey will begin. Your happiness will depend on how much you fight the gifts I send you. Make no mistake, you will fight them just like your brother did, but if you accept that life is what I make it, then you will live a happy life.”
I close my eyes at her request and fade into the blackness of night, sleeping peacefully as I think about what the Goddess just said. She is sending me a gift, or more than one it sounds like. She says I will fight it like Ahazu does, but I can”t imagine doing that. Ahazu fights his gifts because in his heart he is a healer and the power to take a life with a touch scares the hell out of him. It makes him question everything about himself.
I, on the other hand, readily agree that life is expendable and easily taken. I believe that Karma takes entirely too long to enact her justice and seek to assist her with my magic and my blade. Wrong deeds have consequences and that is the reason I named my dagger Consequence.
Laughing at my own joke pulls me from my slumber. Ahazu is climbing out of bed and he smiles at me as he rushes around the room, opening curtains so the light can flow in through the window. I”m not a fan of the sun or light, I prefer the dark. But Ahazu is more Light Elf than Dark and he loves to bathe in the sunlight.
”Brother mine, you are truly annoying in the morning.”
”Dear sister. This is the start of a new day. I spent the night working with our God, Ahazu, and I have a better grasp of my magic. Today is the day I will leave my gloves with you and see where the day leads me.”
His smile widens and no matter how grumpy I am in the morning, I can”t help but smile back at him. He has spent the last ten years covered with those leather gloves to avoid draining another life force, and no matter how much me or my parents told him that it wouldn”t happen again, he still kept them on. Now, I see that he has finally relieved himself of the fear of his own magic and accepted that he controls that power just like the others.
”Aha, I”m so glad you”re finally accepting all parts of yourself just like I”ve always accepted all of you.”
I move to hug him and the paper in my hand crinkles some more, reminding me that I have it clutched to my chest still. Looking down, I read the words again and take a deep breath. Ahazu asks not to know my decision, so I sit the paper on my bedside table and move down to the foot of the bed to pull my twin into a hug. My heart is already aching with missing him and he isn”t even gone yet.
”I”ll miss you so much brother.”
”It”s only three months, sister. I”ll write to you and you”ll write to me. We will see each other in the dreamscape and time will speed by. Be good, stay safe, I love you. Goddess be with you.”
”I love you too. May your God shine his favor upon you.”
We tilt our heads together and close our eyes, soaking in one another”s presence and silently saying our final goodbyes. I can hear Boo and Dalphine in the hall and know that it is time for my brother to go. He doesn”t say a word as he pulls out of my arms and walks to the door. I almost think he is going to leave without even glancing back, but as he turns the handle, he does turn around. He puts three fingers to his mouth then sends a little spark of magic from his fingers across the room to my cheek. I return the gesture and he leaves the room with a smile on his face.
I lay back and stare at the canopy above my bed, listening to Ahazu greet his unofficial mates. They walk down the hall and I allow one tear to slide down my face. My brother is the only family I have left, and now he is leaving me for three months to complete his Quad and do his first humanitarian mission. My brother has always known what he wanted to do with his life, and I”m so happy to see him doing it. I”m thankful to our childhood friends for accompanying him and know they will keep him safe. I”m just sad that we are apart.
Sitting up, I glance at the invitation once more. I decide that I need to take a shower and get dressed before I deal with the invite. I wave a hand and yellow magic swirls around the room, closing my curtains and turning on my radio again. A fast beat plays through the whole room and I dance my way to the attached bathroom.
Turning on the water hot enough to fog up the mirror, I hop in and sigh in pleasure. I need to feel better so I make sure to scrub and shave every piece of my body. I spend a good thirty minutes drying my hair and separating the curtain of hair in two so I can put them up in two balls on top of my head. Humans call this ”space buns”. I saw the style on my Instagram and fell in love. I do my make up dark, like always. With heavy eyeliner and smokey lashes. Walking nude to my bedroom. I stare at the invitation for a moment longer then decide that there is no reason to dally any longer.
Where my brother has always been a Healer, I”ve always known I was a killer. No amount of thought will change the path the Goddess carved for me since birth. I crumple it up as small as I can then pop it into my mouth, chewing quickly and swallowing with a hard gulp. I smile softly to myself and get dressed in a pair of black leather shorts, a small black tank top that shows off my midriff, and knee high combat boots. Today will be a good day, even with my brother gone.