Chapter 22 #2
“Aesira,” Vander gasped, eyes flashing wide. “Wait.”
Beast went for the exit and I followed. I didn’t know if I was going with him to tell the Commanders, or if I was going to try to stop him. Tears blurred my vision, slid down my face. A sob caught in my throat. Beast left all the doors open in his wake. I finally caught him, and he turned to me.
“Did you know?” he demanded.
“No,” I choked out.
“We have to tell the Commanders. He is a spy. Who knows what he’s told them? The League of Assassins is compromised.”
I nodded and put my knife back in its holster. He seemed satisfied with that and continued. I didn’t consider how strange it was that he’d gone from trying to kill me to running at my side. I guess a vampire was worse than an impure loth peasant.
The library’s double doors were in sight.
I didn’t hear Vander behind us, although he must be close.
I was surprised he hadn’t overtaken us. He had the ability to kill us with terrifying ease.
It would probably be over in the blink of an eye.
I doubted I’d even feel it. Would he hold me as I faded away, or would he drink from me?
His face haunted my mind. How could I have missed it?
I realized with acuteness that I hadn’t wanted to see.
The damn bird at his aunt’s shop kept saying vampire, not about me but him.
Vander had all but told me that bitter winter night.
His secret about the night his sister died.
Dishonor... He wished he could tell me.. .
I needed answers.
With a leg sweep, I knocked Beast’s feet out from under him.
He crashed onto his hands just before the library’s exit doors.
My kick to his face was swift. I picked up a metal vase from the desk and cracked him on the head.
He groaned and went limp, sprawled out face down on the floor.
I sobbed as I tied his hands and feet behind his back.
What was I doing? Why was I doing this? My chest felt like it was caving in on itself. I dragged Beast behind the desk and stood over him, shoving my hands into my hair, scraping my nails over my scalp. “What am I doing?” I whispered to myself over and over. He was going to wake up, eventually.
“Aesira.” I stilled at that deep honey voice and slowly turned my head to find Vander standing a few feet from me. He was devastated and beautiful, like a cut wilting flower.
“Stay away from me,” I cried, chin trembling. I took my sword, his sister’s sword from its scabbard and pointed it at him.
“Please listen to me, just for a moment.”
“You’re a vampire?” I gasped. A scream of agony waited at the back of my throat.
I saw it. I saw him drink the blood, but I still needed him to say it.
There could be another reason... But no, his teeth, his vampire teeth, were perfect for piercing flesh.
“Tell me it isn’t true. Tell me what I saw wasn’t real.
” I wanted to take back the last few minutes.
I wanted to be in my room under the blanket with a book, like I should be.
His hands trembled, and his throat bobbed. I’d never seen him afraid. “I would be lying if I said that. I don’t want to lie to you about what I am anymore.” His voice wavered.
I angrily swiped the tears from my cheeks. “Are you working with them? Is that where you’ve been sneaking off to?”
His face twisted into agony. “No, I hate them.” He smacked himself in the chest. “I hate myself. I never wanted to be this! I hate vampires even more than you do, and I am disgusted that I was turned into one of them.”
He took a careful step forward with his palms raised in surrender. I shoved my sword toward him in warning. “Don’t.”
If you knew the truth about what happened the night my sister died, you wouldn’t want me anymore... You don’t know what you’re asking for with me... Tears dripped from my jaw onto the desk. It explained why my body reacted so strongly to him.
Instinctually, I knew what he was. He was cold. He moved faster than any of us ducai. His agitation—the needing to escape. I knew deep down all along he was a bloodthirsty vampire. It was right in front of my face this entire time, and yet I’d never allowed the thought to rise.
I’m truly so tempting for you?
You have no idea.
It wasn’t me he craved, it was my blood. The way he was drawn to me, like he couldn’t help himself, it was the monster. The way I sensed his hunger. I’d been living in the same room as him. I slept next to a vampire.
My heart threatened to beat from my chest. I wanted to scream.
“What have you told the vampires about LOA?” I snarled.
His brows pinched, and he raked his hand through his hair. “Aesira, I am LOA. I am LOA until I die. That never changed.”
I turned away and stared at the floor near his boots. I couldn’t look at his face anymore. I couldn’t believe anything he said. Lies. Our entire relationship was a lie. Everything about him was a deception.
“Aesira, please.”
“You shouldn’t be here.” Was I going to let him walk away? Was he going to let me?
“Aesira, look at me. It’s me. I’m Viper—I’m Vander.” His boots hit loudly as he marched toward me. My eyes widened. My breath hitched, and I stumbled over Beast in my retreat until my back hit the wall. “Please don’t look at me like that. I’m not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you.”
He stopped as the point of my sword pressed against his chest. I felt like I was breathing through a thin reed.
He’d had a million chances to hurt me if that’s what he wanted; that’s not what I feared—I didn’t believe I could do what should be done.
A vampire was standing before me, inside LOA, hiding who he was, standing at the end of my sword, and yet I stood frozen.
What if he’d been a vampire before he even joined the League? Could he be here to bring down the ducai from the inside? I didn’t know what to think.
“Were you bitten the day you tried to save your sister?” My voice came out strangled.
He nodded and swallowed hard. “Oriana and a handful of other apprentices snuck out one night.” He let out a slow breath and lifted his eyes toward the ceiling for a moment.
“I was at the fucking bar with a few others. The rules on apprentices staying with their trainers were more lax then. When I got back and settled in my room, someone shouted that their apprentice was gone. I never thought Oriana would go outside the wall without me, but I checked her room to see if she knew anything about it, and she wasn’t there.
Someone at the wall said a group of six had gone out at dusk, claiming to have permission.
We eventually found them. Well, their bodies.
Except Oriana’s. I knew in my heart she’d been taken.
I snuck away on my own, and I made it all the way to the Black Castle.
And she was there.” He paused, blinking away the moisture in his eyes.
“She was tied down in the middle of the kings’ throne room, lying still in a pool of her own blood.
They danced around her like she wasn’t there in their fancy gowns and suits.
She was gone, I knew it, but I still couldn’t leave her alone.
I just—I lost my mind after that. I don’t even remember what happened other than I killed anything in my path.
Until I got to her and cut the bonds at her wrists.
And that’s when Belladonna approached. I rose up with my sword, but suddenly, I couldn’t move.
All I could do was stare at her. It was like she’d ensnared my mind and taken control of my body.
She smiled as she sunk her teeth into my neck. ”
My heart stuttered.
His face shifted, so did the air around us.
Anger at the memory seeped into me. “I didn’t even fight back.
I let her do it. The kings demanded my death.
But she stayed them with just a lift of her hand.
‘No, this one lives. He’s mine. He will come back to us.
They always do, and he will be useful,’ she said.
I didn’t want to leave Oriana, but I’d regained myself and dashed for the exit.
” He sighed. “As I passed Dravyn he said, ‘You know why I kept your sister? So I could have my way with her.’ I’d never felt more rage in all my life, but I kept running. I had to get out.”
My stomach dropped to my toes. I was going to be sick.
“Once I was free of that place, I hid in a cave. I planned to walk into the sunlight. I should have. But the longer I sat and waited for the sun to rise, the more revenge festered. I told myself I would live long enough to kill Dravyn, and then I’d end it.
But Dravyn disappeared for years, and I knew deep down I was just a coward who didn’t want to die.
I was a hypocrite who had ended the lives of friends who were bitten.
The morning of the last Sorting Rite, I’d made my decision to tell Locke that night.
I would get through the ceremony at his side like he’d asked me, and then I would tell him the truth, and he would end my misery. ”
A tear rolled down my cheek.
“Then I saw you.”
My breathing hitched.