Chapter 14 #4
She could say no more.
Tears streamed silently down her face.
Instinctively, Marcus leaned towards her.
Before he could reach her, Eleanor rose from the bench.
"I saw her for only a few moments, and I was in a state of delirium, so I cannot tell whether what I remember is true or something I imagined. I was burning with fever and in unbearable pain."
"I lost consciousness and remained delirious for nearly two weeks. When I finally awoke, my father told me my daughter had been stillborn."
She struggled to continue.
"Three days later, though I could scarcely walk, I left Longbourn and never looked back."
"I came to London and entered Lady Margaret's service as her companion."
"I accompanied her to Canada to visit her son, Daniel Campbell."
She managed a faint, weary smile.
"The rest of the story... I believe you already know."
After a long silence, she whispered,
"I do not know where our daughter is buried."
"I never found the strength to ask my father."
"I am so very sorry, Marcus."
"I cannot answer the one question that has haunted you for twenty years."
Marcus was utterly devastated. Hearing everything Eleanor had endured was far worse than anything he had imagined.
"I am so sorry, Ella."
His voice trembled.
"It was all my fault. I should have married you the very day our lives changed. I should never have left you to face everything alone."
He looked at her with profound regret.
"I loved you then, Eleanor, and I have loved you every day since. It was the memory of your love that gave me the strength to survive everything that happened while we were apart."
He drew a deep breath before continuing.
"I spent six months fighting on the Continent.
When I returned, I immediately sent an express to Longbourn because I was worried about you.
Before I could receive your reply, I was captured and spent almost six months in a French prison.
My family was informed that I had been killed.
That is why my brother wrote to you that I was dead. "
He looked at her with tears in his eyes.
"But I am alive... and so are you."
For the first time since they had met in the park, hope flickered across his face.
"Eleanor... my beloved Ella... I have loved you all these years. If you could find it in your heart to give me another chance... perhaps this time we might..."
"No, Marcus."
Her answer was gentle but resolute.
"I only wish to continue with the life I have built."
She struggled to steady her voice.
"I am deeply sorry for everything that happened to you. Please believe me when I say that I do not blame you."
She paused before continuing.
"But I cannot return to the past. I have spent twenty years trying to heal wounds that very nearly destroyed me. I do not have the strength to open them again."
She lowered her eyes.
"I sincerely wish you every happiness."
Then, almost in a whisper, she added, "But I beg you... please leave me in peace."
Marcus stood motionless.
Every trace of hope vanished from his face.
After a long silence, he bowed.
"As you wish, Lady Campbell."
He had no choice but to offer her the one thing she requested of him because he would gladly meet any request she made simply because it made her happy, even if that request came at the price of his eternal misery.
"Thank you for granting me this conversation and for answering the questions that have haunted me for so many years."
"Good afternoon... madam."
Without another word, he turned and walked away.
Only after mounting his horse did he surrender to the grief he had fought so hard to conceal.
He rode away at full gallop, unable to hold back his tears any longer.
Eleanor scarcely remembered how she returned home.
She vaguely recalled Mary and Kitty rushing to her side when they saw how pale and exhausted she looked.
As she attempted to climb the stairs, she lost consciousness.
Mr Taylor immediately sent for the physician, who declared that Lady Campbell was suffering from complete exhaustion and ordered several days of absolute rest.
She spent the entire night burning with fever.
By the following morning, the fever had broken, though she remained weak and light-headed.
"Aunt Eleanor."
Elizabeth's voice was unusually cold.
"I have come to bid you farewell. Uncle Gardiner will be taking me back to Longbourn within the half-hour. Thank you for everything, and I hope you recover soon."
She curtsied.
"Goodbye."
"Elizabeth... do not go..."
Eleanor whispered before sleep overtook her once more.
When she awoke the following day and asked for her niece, Kitty and Mary, who had remained beside her throughout the night, quietly explained that Elizabeth had left the previous afternoon.
An overwhelming emptiness settled over Eleanor.
She was grateful that Kitty and Mary had chosen to remain with her.
She knew she would eventually have to confront her brother and ask the question that had haunted her ever since returning to England.
But not yet.
For now, she possessed neither the strength nor the courage.
She wanted only to sleep.