Chapter 22 #4
Elizabeth turned and found Mr Darcy looking at her with unmistakable longing. He was, as always, impeccably dressed and perfectly groomed, yet something had changed. He looked worn and weary, and there was nothing of the proud, self-assured gentleman she remembered.
“Mr Darcy, what are you doing here?” Elizabeth asked, unable to prevent herself from blushing.
“My cousin, my sister, and Lady Claire invited me to accompany them. However, if my presence is unwelcome, pray do not concern yourself. I shall leave at once.”
It was clear to Elizabeth from his tone that Mr Darcy was eager not to give any offence.
He seemed so diminished that she could not sustain any anger at him and thus, she chose to give him another chance at friendship, although she feared she was being unwise.
He had insulted her and her family, even if his painful observations had been undeniably true.
She found it almost amusing that his love for her was ostensibly so ardent that he was willing to overlook her social unsuitability as if his love was some tragedy of epic Greek proportions in allowing himself to feel love for the daughter of the poor Bennet family.
Darcy, for his part, could not take his eyes off Elizabeth. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. Yet there was something in her eyes—a trace of fear—that awakened in him an overwhelming desire to protect her.
Elizabeth was taken aback by Mr Darcy's reply.
His voice was humble, and his eyes revealed such sadness that she found it easy to be kind to him.
The idea that he was so humbled simply because of his feelings for her was, she had to admit, flattering, even if he had been terribly rude and awkward in his suit to her.
“No, Mr Darcy, that is not necessary,” said Elizabeth somewhat neutrally.
Mr Darcy breathed a small inward sigh of relief.
“Then, may I join you and Mr Gardiner, Miss Elizabeth?” he asked with a tentative smile. The fact that she had not rejected him at once filled him with cautious hope.
“Do you know much about weapons, Mr Darcy?” John asked.
“A good deal, Mr Gardiner. Indeed, at Pemberley there is a collection of weapons dating back nearly three centuries. My family has gathered them over many generations.”
“Wow! Amazing! If I ever visit Pemberley, may I see them?”
“John, Mr Darcy is a very busy gentleman. Besides, one cannot invite oneself to another person's house,” Elizabeth said gently.
“I beg your pardon, Mr Darcy. My cousin Lizzy is quite right. Do not worry; I shall never appear at Pemberley without an invitation or catch you unawares,” John replied with a resigned sigh.
“Then I have no choice but to invite you, Mr Gardiner. If you ever visit Pemberley while I am at home, I promise to show you the entire collection myself. And if you behave well, I may even allow you to handle a few of the pieces.”
“Really? Now I need to find out where Pemberley is so that I can visit it,” John said eagerly.
“It is in Derbyshire,” Mr Darcy replied with a smile.
“My mother has family in that county,” John said excitedly.
“Do not get too excited, John. Remember that your father does not always have time to travel,” Elizabeth said.
“You are right, Cousin. Mr Darcy, my father owns an import business, and he is a very important and intelligent gentleman,” the boy said proudly.
Elizabeth glanced at Mr Darcy, half expecting another of his haughty remarks. John had just mentioned his father's profession, and she knew only too well the opinion Mr Darcy held of the mercantile class.
“If your father should ever bring you to Derbyshire, Mr Gardiner, I should be delighted to welcome you both to Pemberley—especially if your father is as intelligent a gentleman as you say. I am sure we should find many interesting subjects to discuss.”
As he spoke, Mr Darcy looked directly at Elizabeth. He wanted her to understand that her reproaches had not been in vain. He was making an effort.
“Thank you, Mr Darcy,” John replied happily.
Elizabeth smiled and thanked Mr Darcy for his kindness, pleasantly surprised at his agreeable tone of voice.
Mr Darcy offered Elizabeth his arm. Although she hesitated for a moment, she accepted it, and together they continued through the exhibition. Mr Darcy took great pains to explain every display to John, who listened with fascination and interrupted him only to ask more questions.
A short while later, they rejoined the rest of the party, yet Elizabeth remained on Mr Darcy's arm while John continued to question him eagerly about everything they saw.
Elizabeth was impressed by how knowledgeable Mr Darcy was, but even more by the patience he showed towards her young cousin.
There was something different about him now that made him appear far more attractive and interesting than before.
He was the same Mr Darcy who had taught her to fly a kite, who had spoken with her about farming, music, and books at Rosings.
He was patiently explaining historical weapons to John like a good father or an older brother would to a younger family member.
Mr Darcy was taking the boy’s interests seriously and educating him with his own adult knowledge.
Better yet, he seemed to be truly enjoying his newfound role as museum docent, and clearly he was not ignoring the boy’s presence and simply using this moment as an opportunity to speak with Elizabeth, something she would have found most disappointing.
As they walked and she watched Darcy talking, she felt he was demonstrating a distinctly paternal quality, that quiet firm authority, the desire to nurture which she found very comforting to discover in any man.
For his part, Mr Darcy found great happiness in walking through the museum with Elizabeth on his arm.
He was glad that John seemed eager to hear what he had to offer on the subject of ancient weapons, as it gave him a way to converse with them without the awkwardness of having to address Elizabeth directly.
Darcy was happy simply to be near her and to try to be his best self, to be the older brother and father figure, a role that came to him so naturally around Georgiana ever since the passing of their parents.
So, of course, attention was also drawn to Georgiana.
He watched her talking and laughing with the Bennet sisters and Lady Claire.
Never before had he seen his sister so open and at ease with people outside their family.
She had evidently found a circle of friends who cared for her sincerely and made her feel accepted.
He was relieved and happy for his sister.
He felt that she had been so isolated with only her occasionally stuffy older brother for company.
Not that he was ever that way with her, but now, after his rejection by Elizabeth, he wondered if Georgina ever perceived him that way as well.
He sincerely hoped not, for he loved his younger sister and her respect meant the world to him.
He could not help feeling ashamed of the poor opinion he had once held of Mary and Kitty Bennet.
It was plain that both young ladies had become genuinely fond of Georgiana and sought nothing more than her friendship.
He had noted that the manners of both had improved considerably under the guidance of Eleanor.
It made him wonder if a lack of manners was not a character flaw so much as it stemmed from a simple lack of a proper education.
At last, when the opportunity arose to speak to Elizabeth alone, Mr Darcy seized it.
“Miss Bennet, I most sincerely apologise for everything I said to you and for the manner in which I behaved in Kent. More than that, I apologise for exposing you to my aunt's anger. I know you possess a generous heart, and I hope that, in time, you may find it within yourself to forgive me.”
Elizabeth could not help being moved as Mr Darcy's voice faltered. It was impossible to doubt the sincerity of his apology.