Chapter 25 #6
Yet what affected him most was not the revelation itself but the appalling cruelty of the Bennet men. The story of Elizabeth's parents was so tragic that it filled him with profound sorrow.
“Now that you know everything,” Elizabeth asked softly, unable to restrain her tears, “are you quite certain you still wish to associate with someone like me? If the truth about my birth ever became public, it would ruin not only me but everyone connected with me.” She looked up with tears in her eyes because suddenly Elizabeth had realised and desperately feared that now she might truly lose his affection, just as she was learning to enjoy it.
"I have no wish to harm you, Mr Darcy, for I am terribly fond of you,” she said, her voice occasionally choked with sorrow.
But you really should avoid me from now on, for your own sake.
You would be courting scandal! I could not bear to be responsible for sullying your respected name and reputation, which I do understand is rightly and immensely important to you!
You should just forget about me," she added as fresh tears spilt down her cheeks.
"Besides my lack of connections, and my family, well, the family that raised me, I am just a lowly illegitimate daughter who has no right to seek the affections of someone as respectable as yourself. Your rejection was so much easier to bear earlier when I did not know you then so thoroughly as I do now.” She looked up at him pleadingly, her eyes welling with tears, and then she looked away, unable to hold his gaze.
It had not escaped Darcy's attention that Elizabeth had used the word "fond" in reference to him. The word was like an arrow through his heart that gave him both joy and even greater pain to see Elizabeth in such despair because he, in a way, was the cause of it.
Seeing the agony written upon her face, the look of abject and utter distress upon the face of his beloved Elizabeth, nearly crushed Darcy. The only thing that made it bearable was also knowing that he, himself, possessed the power to make everything acceptable and right once again.
He reached down and touched her chin to direct her beautiful but tear-streaked face up at himself so he could speak to her in no uncertain terms.
“Nonsense, because I love you, Elizabeth,” he replied without hesitation. “In fact, you are the one who has taught me to put other considerations above social standing. And that was all before you knew the truth of your... situation.”
He continued, “And as for forgetting about you, my dear Elizabeth, oh, believe me, that I have tried!
I have spent days, weeks, and months trying not to think about you only to fail miserably and do the exact opposite!
Instead, my mind betrays me and dotes upon your eyes, your laugh, your smile and your endless charm during my every waking moment.
It is maddening! So, please do not ask of me what I know, from long and painful experience, to be impossible, Miss Elizabeth Bennet!
" Darcy finished with just enough exasperation evident in his voice that Elizabeth could tell that he was admitting to a very real and agonising truth.
“I am prepared to face anyone and anything for your sake. I shall never allow Mr Bennet to harm you again. Trust me.” Mr Darcy gently took her hand.
“Pardon me, Mr Darcy… but did you just say, I love you?” asked Elizabeth.
“Yes, I believe I did just blurt that right out. But that is true. I told you once earlier, of course. That has not changed from my disastrous attempt of a declaration of my affections for you many weeks ago. So, yes, I do love you, Elizabeth, still more than ever. Indeed, I don’t seem to be able to do anything else but love you.
I just hope I have any chance at all of having that affection returned.
Compared to that, the facts and details of your exact paternity are of absolutely no concern to me.
What does concern me, what is only important to me, is that you exist and that you continue to be a part of my life.
I swear, that is the only thing in the world I care about at this moment. ”
As he spoke, Mr Darcy’s voice quickly changed from exasperation to tenderness, and then he raised her hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly.
Elizabeth could not help being deeply moved. She raised her eyes to his. The love shining in his eyes filled her with a sense of peace and security she had never known before.
“Thank you, Mr Darcy. I… thank you for making me feel… worthy again,” she said, her eyes still welling with tears of gratitude which poured down her cheeks.
She could say no more.
Their eyes met.
For several long moments, neither of them spoke.
Then Mr Darcy slowly brushed away the tears upon her cheeks and, unable to resist any longer, gently kissed her lips.
When they drew apart, he rested his forehead against hers before placing tender kisses upon her cheeks and forehead.
“I have longed to do that for… months,” said Mr Darcy.
Elizabeth just smiled back at him, happy once again.