30. Chapter Thirty ~ Emma
Chapter Thirty ~ Emma
My eyes blink open and I find myself still in the room I fell asleep in last night. Chris’s room. The room I was never supposed to spend the night in. It was in our contract.
And here I’ve done it again.
Quickly I sit up and try to slide out of the bed but his arms snake out quickly, grabbing me and pulling me back in.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he mumbles, his voice still sleepy, and when I turn to look at him, the half-lidded eyes and drowsy look cause my chest to constrict.
“No sleepovers. It was a rule, remember?”
“Rules are made to be broken,” he murmurs back, kissing my cheek and my neck before settling back into the pillows.
His arms are still around me. And he seems to be dozing back off. Before long he’s fast asleep again. But my mind is racing and I’m sure that more sleep is impossible at this point.
Does it mean something, that he wanted me to stay? Is there more to it than just cuddling up together this morning?
Does he want more? Like I already know that I want more?
Sure, I’m going to have him in my life forever now. The baby makes sure of that. But I want more. I don’t want to just be cohabitating in this beautiful house. I don’t want to just be co-parenting our child. I want all of him.
I want his heart just as much as I want his body. Perhaps more. I’m still working through the emotions of it all. Still trying to figure out everything.
Because even I don’t fully understand the depth of the emotions that I’m feeling for him right now. Just that there’s nowhere I would rather be than right here, in his arms, lying in this bed.
Eventually I must drift back off to sleep because when I wake up the next time, he’s the one who’s gone. But there’s a flower from the garden sitting on the pillow and I can’t help but smile at the sweet gesture.
“Ah, you’re awake. I wondered when you would wake up.” His voice startles me and I glance toward the door where he’s holding a tray. “I brought breakfast.”
“You cooked?” I tease and he laughs at that, coming around to sit next to me on the bed.
“You should be very glad that I did not,” he replies. “If I had made this, it would be inedible. But as Susie made it, it should be absolutely wonderful.”
The array of French toast and sausage and fruit looks great and I dig in eagerly, which seems to please him to no end because he laughs and joins me.
“This is great.”
“I’m glad you enjoy it. And as for my bed,” he trails off and I glance down, worried. “Consider it yours whenever you want it, Baby Girl.”
I blush slightly at the endearment, but also at the thought of considering his bed my own. Does that mean what I think it does? That he wants me here? Frequently? Whenever I want? Because if that’s the case I would never leave. Not really. I would be here every night.
But that can’t be what he means, can it?
Or maybe it is.
My head is starting to hurt from thinking in circles so I focus instead on the breakfast in front of me, and enjoying every bite. And most likely more than my share, but I don’t care about that. I don’t care about anything but how amazing it feels to be sitting here, having breakfast in bed with the man I love. The father of my child.
“Oh!” I jump, startled as I feel a sudden pressure in my stomach.
“What’s wrong? Are you all right?” Chris’s eyes widen in surprise and concern, quickly setting the tray aside so he can focus all his attention on me.
“I-I’m good,” I reply and suddenly the feeling repeats itself.
My hand moves to my stomach and his gaze does too, concern coloring his features.
“Is something wrong with the baby? What is it?”
“I … I don’t know,” I reply and immediately he jumps up, reaching for his phone.
“I’m calling the doctor.”
“My mom,” I say instead and he looks at me like he doesn’t understand. “Get my mom. Get her first.”
For a moment he doesn’t move and then suddenly he’s scrambling to pull on clothes and rush out the door. Which means I have to struggle out of bed myself and snatch up my dress, tugging it over my head and sinking back onto the bed again to relax as I wait.
Or at least, to try to relax. Because I don’t know how I could ever relax without knowing what’s going on with my baby.
Maybe I should have let him call the doctor first. Maybe waiting for my mother is a bad idea, but when the two of them run into the room and she rushes over to me it feels like everything is okay. Mom is here, and she’ll take care of me. She’ll take care of everything.
“What happened? Chris just said to come quick. Something with the baby.”
“I can feel something. Here.” I touch my hand to the spot again. “It’s like … pressure. Hard. Sudden. And it comes and goes.”
I can see her face ease into relief. A soft smile spreads across her face as she reaches out to touch my stomach where I mentioned. And then there’s the pressure again.
“That’s what you mean?”
“Yes. I … I don’t understand. What is it?”
Chris is standing anxiously by my side and I can tell he’s waiting, confused, as well. But Mom just shakes her head and smiles at us both.
“That’s your baby moving around in there. It’s kicking from the inside. It’s perfectly normal. In fact, it’s a good sign. It means the baby is getting bigger and moving.”
“It’s … it’s kicking?”
“Have you been feeling some little flutters before? Maybe something that felt a little like someone tickling the inside of your stomach?”
I nod at that and she smiles and nods again.
“That’s the baby moving around. It’s all good, Emma, very good. That’s a good sign.”
My hands both move to my stomach now and I stare down at it in surprise and wonder.
“Though it means that you’re much further along than you led me to believe.” There’s a slight censure in her tone and her eyes narrow just slightly as she looks between me and Chris, but then her gaze moves back to my stomach and softens into a smile again. “But the baby is doing well. Now that it’s started kicking, chances are it’s going to keep doing it off and on. You think it’s good now. You might not think so when it happens again in the middle of the night.”
“I’m sorry I worried you,” Chris says, stepping forward with relief evident on his face now as well.
“I’m glad you came and got me. And I’m glad I was able to help you feel more at ease. I want to be here for you, Emma. For anything and everything that you might need.”
“And I appreciate it. It’s nice having you so close. And it saved us a trip to the doctor.” I manage a laugh and sit more upright. Now that I know everything is fine, there are other things I should be doing today.
Though Baby seems to have other ideas because the kicking continues. And what was cute and amazing for a while gradually turns into a bit of a pain. Because I can’t seem to move without feeling the baby move. Some of it is fine. Some of it tickles, like Mom mentioned. And some of it actually hurts.
“This little one has some strength in there,” I tell them all at dinner one night and Mom smiles.
“You and your sister used to kick me all the time. Anytime I even thought about lying down it was like you decided to dance around in there. Oh, it made me so frustrated.”
I feel relieved. Because I’m not always so thrilled about all the kicking. And hearing Mom mention how she would get frustrated just makes me feel that much better about it all. Maybe I’m not being a bad mother already for being annoyed.
Mom seems to know what I’m thinking because she gives me a little smile and reaches out to take my hand for a moment. But then she turns back to her food like there’s nothing at all to worry about.
Chris’s eyes narrow slightly for a moment in confusion, but he also seems to decide that it’s not a big deal and simply gives me a smile.
“I think it’s amazing that the baby is moving in there,” Leann pipes up. “It’s crazy to think about. I mean, I know there’s a baby in there, obviously, but I can’t imagine actually feeling it moving around. That’s a whole new level of awareness.”
“Definitely,” I agree, because I feel the same way. Up until now I knew the baby was there. But I didn’t really know it was there. Now, it’s impossible to ignore. And so is the looming due date that always seemed so far away.
When I glance over at Chris again he’s giving me that same soft smile he does nearly all the time now. The one that definitely feels like something more than just the look you give the woman carrying your baby.
But I don’t want to read too much into it. I don’t want to get myself too worked up or too excited or too … anything. Only to have it all dashed away. Still …
I can’t help the soft smile that spreads across my face in return, as I look at him.
Everything feels … perfect, at this moment. The four of us sitting down at the table together, talking and laughing, and just … enjoying being together. And I wonder if this can really be our life forever. With the addition of the baby, of course.