Chapter 9
“Janessa, honey,” I said, frantic for Cam but aware that Janessa was going into shock. She wouldn’t let go of her weapon lodged deep in P’Lak’s head, and her eyes were glassy while her breaths were shallow. “Jetpack, you did it. You saved yourself and me. You’re a hero. Let’s go help Cam.”
“We can’t,” she whispered, staring at the eerily silent ship with its open hatch. The operatives had disappeared inside, and we didn’t know what was going on. Had they found Cam and captured her? Killed her? Who were they working for if not P’Lak?
“We can’t what, love?” I asked and stroked her smooth head, tears threatening to fall from my eyes.
“We can’t help her,” she said and turned her gaze to face me. “That virus is killing her. I didn’t know. But she knew. She knew she was going to die but she smuggled me out anyway. And now we can’t save her.”
“Janessa, there’s an antidote. We can save her. And we will.” I scooped her up and stood, and my motion forced her to let go of the slender spike that she’d lodged up into P’Lak’s brain. He fell to the tarmac with a silent thud, not even an afterthought now.
“Cam must be hiding from the soldiers,” I said, holding Janessa inside my jacket where she shivered. “I’ll put you down out here and go in after them, okay?”
She buried her face in my shirt and squeezed me with all her might, then she pulled back. “No. I’m going in with you. I’ll watch your six.”
Studying her expression, I could see her will her shock away before my eyes, and that familiar mettle returning that signaled Janessa was a little warrior and would fight to the death for the mother she loved. No child should ever be put in such a position, but she was there. We had no choice. Cam needed us. Could I do it alone? Absofuckinglutely. Would Janessa be content to wait outside? Never.
Putting Janessa down, she followed close behind as I walked up the hatch, entering the ship at the armory where I grabbed a weapon. Janessa already had one, and I realized she’d pinched it off the dead P’Lak. A good thing, because she wouldn’t have been able to use any of the HRC weapons.
Turning to the left, we could see the empty cockpit and pilot chairs, so we rounded the armory wall and walked toward the sleeping quarters on quiet feet.
We stopped short in the doorway when we spied Cam holding a calm operative around the neck with a slender spike of her own digging into his temple. His companion was lowering his weapon with one hand while holding a vial in the other.
If Cam saw us, she made no sign of it.
“Slide the antidote toward me,” she said, and the operative swung his hand back as if to toss it, but then dropped the vial with a clatter. They must have brought it as an incentive to lure her back to Lucretia on Dispatch 9.
Cam dug the spike a little farther and the hostage whimpered. When the other operative made to reach for the vial, she commanded, “Leave it!”
Both of the men stilled while blood ran down the side of her prisoner’s face.
“Janessa?” Cam said, and my little pickpocket darted to the vial, snatched it up, and ran to Cam while I rested the muzzle of my weapon at the nearest merc’s temple.
“Everyone just remain calm,” I said needlessly. Cam had everything under control.
She met my fierce gaze, and we stood like that for what seemed like forever, communicating our relief to see each other standing and in one piece.
Once the two operatives were taken away by Compliance Patrol ground forces, (Knife had called in reinforcements for us while he chased his own wild goose), the three of us tidied the drop ship and strapped in for our flight back to Vanzee City.
I was taking my girls back to their home.
A half hour into the flight, Cam returned to the copilot’s chair and sat with a sigh. “That girl will sleep like the dead tonight.”
“It was a long-ass day,” I said with a nod and inspected the console. All functioned as it should, but my nerves were shot; sweat poured down the back of my neck, and my hands trembled so badly I was forced to sit on them.
“You okay?” Cam asked, concern touching her voice with a caress I longed to feel on my skin.
“I should be asking you that,” I said, sliding the water bottles out from their slots and handing her one, a reflection of our earlier flight.
“I haven’t felt this good in a very long time,” she said with a genuine smile and lightly stroked the spot where she’d injected the antidote. “Lucretia’s Ladies have a much farther reach than I’d ever guessed, but their reach is their downfall.”
“What do you mean?” I said, noting Cam’s pallor had deepened to a rich hue. She seemed to glow from within, and her eyes had a sparkle that wasn’t there before. Her movements were fluid and graceful, just like before, but without some of the hesitance or reluctance due to pain. I couldn’t believe how rapidly the antidote was working, but I was grateful. And nervous as hell. Removing her illness was like removing a barrier. And I half-thought I needed it for my own safety.
“With their satellites of power, they’ve lost cohesion. Their mercenaries weren’t sure who to follow: P’Lak on Jeppsit 5, or Lucretia on Dispatch 9. Unsure who was going to pay them, they faltered when I started asking questions.”
“And then you used some jiu jitsu to capture the one and use him,” I said, my smile impish.
Her cheeks darkened and she averted her eyes for a second when she smiled.
“Something like that.”
“Even though you were sick,” I continued.
“Janessa might not be my flesh and blood,” she said, holding me with her stare, “but I would do anything for that girl. Stand and face off with a couple of burly soldiers, even though I wasn’t sure how long I could play the part.”
“You were amazing,” I said. “You didn’t need us; you had it all under control.”
Tears formed in her eyes, and she blinked them away while she nodded, looking back toward the sleeping quarters. “I was so scared. I was watching everything on the monitor where you patched in the security feeds. When P’Lak showed up with Janessa, I almost lost my mind with terror. He was the one who ….” She bit off her sentence and sat silent for a minute before swallowing and continuing. “But then you walked up to them with your bad boy swagger and your beard ruffling in the wind, and I knew she was going to be okay.”
Warmth heated my cheeks, and I took a long swig of my water, trying to dispel my nerves.
“What is wrong with you?” she asked and leaned forward. “You haven’t been yourself since we reached altitude.”
“I almost lost you both,” I said, the crack in my voice betraying the depth of emotions I’d been trying to disguise. “And I just barely found you. I know we’re strangers. I know we frequent different circles. But I’d like to skip all the formal steps and go straight to the lifelong commitment. I’ve been trying to work out how to ask you since we left Jeppur’s airspace.”
Cam sat back; her brows raised but otherwise concealing her own feelings. “I see,” she said with a nod. She studied me. “Thank you for telling me.”
Heat inflamed my face, and I turned to the console, fiddling with the temperature controls. I went too far. Said too much. Didn’t promise enough.
“Probably shouldn’t skip the “friends” part, at least,” I said, using air quotes and glancing at my copilot.
She laughed, a throaty and vibrant laugh that shot desire straight to my groin, and damn if I wouldn’t say it all again, but louder. I swiveled my chair to face her and rested my hands on my knees.
“I’m dead serious, Suva Cam,” I said. “I do want to be friends, don’t get me wrong. But I want more. I want you, body and soul. But I want to give you mine. I want to share our lives. I want to see Janessa grow up to take on Vanzee City’s criminal underbelly, and I want to see you follow your dreams, whatever they are. I want a house. A jat. A hov-shuttle. All the things I thought I didn’t deserve or even want. Turns out I just hadn’t met the right woman.”
Cam still didn’t say anything, and I gave her a quick nod. I’d said my piece, and I wasn’t going to apologize or take it back.
“Will you stop fussing with that goddamn computer and look at me?” she said, her voice quiet but firm.
Startled, I looked at her.
“We haven’t skipped the friends part,” she said, shaking her head. “You risked your life for us, multiple times. If that isn’t a friend, I don’t know what is.”
I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees. She had my full attention. She would always have all of me.
“I’m just at a loss for words because P’Lak was right,” she said and squeezed her eyes shut for a second. “The stigma. Especially among Shinterrans. Janessa and I will be fine. I’ll be able to get a different job. I can go through the proper channels and adopt her. But I thought we’d keep to ourselves. She and I have seen too much. Done too much. I don’t think we can ever pass for a normal family, and I don’t think I want to.” She leaned forward too, and we were that much closer to each other. “I wouldn’t dare ask anyone to try to be with us, live with us. I don’t know how we’ll fit in anywhere.” She looked up at the ceiling and dropped her shoulders, rubbing her eyes and sighing. “I don’t know how to be a family. What if we don’t live up to your expectations?”
Hope, the tiniest sliver of light, formed a crack in my heart. She wasn’t saying no. She was saying she didn’t know . Big difference.
“The way I see it, Cam, all three of us have witnessed how “not” to do it,” I said with a shrug. “I figure we all just try to do our best and make use of any resources, and keep on trying, over and over again. I guess what I’m saying is, I’d like to try to learn how to be a family with you and Janessa. And while I hate waiting, I will wait for you.”
Cam’s eyes shone, and she nodded, her bottom lip snatched between her teeth, and she looked toward the sleeping quarters again.
“Go check on her; you know you want to,” I said with a grin.
She let out a small laugh and stood up, her dress swishing around her legs. Then she reached for my hand. “Join me,” she said. “Aren’t babysitters supposed to check on the kids?”
“Hey now, we never discussed the payment options,” I said and tugged her toward me.
She stepped into my arms and rested hers on my shoulders. Our lips were only a couple of breaths apart.
“Are we talking an hourly wage or what?” she said, her voice husky.
“I don’t know,” I said. “What are the parameters? Am I washing the dishes and tidying up after she goes to bed? Just how long are you going to be gone? Can I take her to the gun range?”
Cam pressed her lips to mine, putting an end to my questions, and an inferno lit me up from my feet to my crown, and I seized her mouth with a groan. I kissed her like she was the only oxygen in the room, and I breathed her in like she was my life.
Her flavor exploded on my taste buds, and the quietest whimper escaped her lips when my arms pulled her tighter to me.
“I can’t get enough of you,” I whispered between kisses. “Ever since the first moment I saw you. Your strength. Your will. Your love for Janessa. You drew me to you like a moth to a flame. You’re a miracle to me. A priestess.”
Cam returned my fervor, kiss for kiss, until I was pressed against the bulkhead. I spread my legs so she could step between them, and we melted into each other, our kisses all-consuming until we pulled apart, panting.
“We’ll have to talk to Janessa,” she said, caressing my cheek before stroking my beard. “See what she wants. What she feels comfortable with.”
“Of course,” I said.
“And we’ve probably made permanent enemies with both the Jepps and Lucretia,” she continued.
“Without a doubt,” I said.
“We might hurt each other’s feelings and make mistakes. Say things we’ll regret and let our emotions run away with our good sense.”
“Then we’ll make repairs and try again,” I said.
“Dammit, I’m trying to be reasonable and sensible here,” she said, leaning her forehead against mine. Our breaths still hadn’t returned to normal, and I relished the sensation of her breasts pressed against me.
“Why? So, we’ll take our time? We can do that, too,” I said, waiting for her eyes to meet mine.
“I’m all mixed up,” she said with a smile. “I want to take our time. And I want to rush in head first. Maybe the antidote has side effects.”
I cradled her cheek in my hand, letting my thumb stroke her bottom lip.
“How are you feeling?” I asked, marveling that she was standing here when only hours ago, she could barely stay seated in the pilot’s chair.
“Better than I could imagine was possible,” she said, shaking her head. “But I can’t stop thinking about the others who are trapped.”
“I told Knife about an altercation I overheard on the street when I was tracking down Janessa,” I said. “I think it must have been a woman with the virus tag because the Jepp said he was shipping her off world. I think Knife is going to find her.”
“I know we can’t save them all, but I want to try,” she said, steel entering her voice. I knew that stubbornness. It had saved Janessa. And me.
“You’ll find a way. How can I help?” I said.
She gave me a mischievous grin. “I might need a babysitter.”
“Then I’m your man,” I said and leaned in for another kiss. Or dozen.