Chapter 18 #2
Wondering where Torin and Jewel were and how long they’d be gone, she went to her bedroom.
Without most of her possessions cluttering the space, the room had lost some of the sense of familiarity.
After making the bed, she debated about packing her toiletries laid out neatly on the dresser but figured she might as well. She could always take them out again.
Gathering up the quilt Cora had gifted her, she clutched it to her chest like a child seeking some comfort. Jewel sometimes held her rag doll like this. But after a few moments, no comfort came, and she felt too silly to continue.
With a sigh, Ivy folded the quilt around her harp and laid the instrument on top of everything inside the trunk, not really caring if the weight would wrinkle the garments underneath. They’d have to be ironed, anyway.
She closed and latched the trunk, leaving the other’s lid open. Upon doing a thorough search of the room, she discovered one of the rose sachets had fallen under the bed and tossed the sweet-scented bag into the trunk. She left her coat and hat hanging on the wall pegs.
After glancing around and trying not to think of how empty the space appeared, Ivy walked through the rest of the house.
She retrieved her sewing basket and a book from the parlor and a notebook and pencil from the dining room.
In the kitchen, she lifted her apron off the hook.
In Jewel’s room, she decided to leave behind the green hair ribbon she’d lent the girl. Maybe, she’ll wear it and remember me.
With everything packed, Ivy retreated to the parlor with Torin’s book on Montana’s native flowers but had a hard time concentrating. Even the thought that living in town would mean she could meet the illustrator failed to lift her spirits.
The noon hour passed, and Torin and Jewel still hadn’t returned from their walk. She couldn’t help wondering if the man was purposefully avoiding her.
Finally, hearing the sound of voices, Ivy closed the book, left the parlor, and went outside. Leaning on the porch rail, she soaked in the sight of Torin and Jewel walking hand in hand. His head was bowed toward his daughter, obviously listening.
Jewel held a mixed handful of flowers. She chattered away and swung their joined hands. Sometimes, she tried to skip—a skill Ivy had been teaching her and she hadn’t yet mastered. I won’t see when she does.
Thank goodness, she’s back to her normal sunny self. Ivy tried to memorize this moment, knowing she’d only have a few more opportunities to witness father and daughter together.
“Pa-pa, I play with In-ga an Els-be an Kis-ta,” Jewel’s voice carried.
She smiled. Maybe Jewel will wear down Torin. For his own peace of mind, he’ll give in to friendships with the Swensens.
He looked up and saw her, his expression shuttering.
Ivy tipped her head in Jewel’s direction and couldn’t resist giving Torin a see-what-I-mean glance.
He ignored her, looking away.
She refused to allow the hurt to show on her face and dredged up a smile for Jewel.
Jewel pulled away from Torin and tottered over to Ivy, holding up the ragged bouquet. “Flou-wers, Iv-y.”
“For me? Those are so pretty. Thank you, my darling.” I’ll have to press these between a book to take with me. She leaned to drop a kiss on the top of Jewel’s head, inhaling her little girl scent.
Torin came up next to his daughter. “Time to eat.” Hand on Jewel’s shoulder, he guided her away from Ivy.
With a crinkle-eyed smile and her tongue out, Jewel shuffled sideways past Ivy. “Ro-see.”
“I can tell you’ve been practicing.”
“Play with gi-wrls.”
Oh, darling, I certainly hope so.
Torin didn’t meet her eyes. He just stalked past her, following his daughter.
At one point, Ivy wandered into the kitchen to check on them. But Torin’s energy toward her was so cold, worse than the wary remoteness he’d shown early on, that she soon left.
Chilled, she stepped outside onto the porch to warm up, leaving the wooden door open, but closing the screen door to keep out the flies. She hoped the sunshine could reach inside her. But, of course, the rays didn’t penetrate.
From behind her, she hear the faint sounds of Torin helping Jewel change for a nap, something they’d often done together.
I can’t live like this.
That’s when Ivy realized she’d made the right decision to leave. She settled into a rocking chair and stared blankly at the lake.
Down the road, she heard hoofbeats and rattling wheels and then a surrey came in sight—a battered old one pulled by a nondescript brown horse, probably rented from the livery. Brian reined in and set the brake.
Although disappointed not to see Cora, Ivy rose and hurried to him, without waiting until he’d tied off the reins. “I didn’t expect you so soon.”
Brian raised an eyebrow. “A hero would never delay rescuing a damsel in distress,” he drawled, glancing up at the house, obviously looking for the others, before climbing down.
“Jewel’s napping and Torin’s staying as far from me as possible.”
He gently touched her shoulder. “Are you all right?”
The quiet concern in the question made her bite her lip to keep from spilling out how not all right she was. I don’t know if I’ll ever be all right again. “I will be.” Ivy tried to sound more certain than she felt.
“Inga brought me your letter before school. Rushed into the newspaper office, handed the envelope over, and ran out again.”
“Oh, dear. I hope she wasn’t late for school.”
“Not with the way she was moving. I heard the bell ringing a few minutes after she left.”
“Is Cora…?”
“Just out for a few hours with Dr. Angus. A follow-up with a patient who’d severely cut himself.
I gather they were to assess how the wound was healing and perhaps take out the stitches.
Or maybe it was to tell his wife how to do so.
” With a confiding look, he leaned closer.
“Sometimes, when Cora talks medical details, I just listen on the surface, if you know what I mean.”
In spite of her sadness, Ivy chuckled, knowing exactly what he meant. “Cora has a much stronger stomach than I do. Sometimes, it’s best not to listen to her too closely.”
“I left a note and your letter for her at the doctor’s office. I think she’ll beat us back to the mansion and have time to ’fess up to the Bellaires and Nortons about your presence here.”
Ivy groaned. “I hope her aunt and Mr. Bellaire aren’t too upset with us. And the Nortons… Will they judge our secretiveness, do you think?”
“Naw, they adore Cora and will understand her reasoning.”
That doesn’t answer how they’ll feel about me. But Ivy didn’t ask, not really wanting to know.
“As Cora and I have talked about several times when we’ve felt guilty for keeping secrets from them, we aren’t lying. We’re just withholding information to protect Torin and Jewel.”
“Even if we don’t think they need protecting and will be fine,” she said sadly. “Torin doesn’t know I’m leaving. I thought you might not come for a day or two….”
He gave her a rueful smirk. “There’s no good way to go about this, Ives. Best to make it quick.”
Ivy liked the nickname he’d just bestowed on her, although not the advice to make it quick, even if she knew he was right.
Torin walked out of the house, saw Brian, and smiled, a mere turn up of his lips, but better than the frozen face he’d been wearing. He crossed the porch and walked down the steps. When he glanced at her, his expression darkened.
Her stomach knotting, Ivy nerved her trembling legs to move.
She stopped in front of him, drew herself up, and lifted her chin.
“After our discussion yesterday, I’ve decided I must leave.
I’m hereby tendering my resignation. As much as I love Jewel, I fundamentally disagree with isolating her, and I can no longer be part of a policy that I believe is wrong. ”
Ask me to stay, she silently pleaded.
Pain flashed in Torin’s eyes. His gaze touched hers, briefly revealing everything he couldn’t or wouldn’t say before his face turned chill.
She plowed on. “I sent a letter with Inga this morning. I didn’t realize Brian would be here so soon or I’d have said something earlier.”
Brian walked over, his mouth set in harsh lines.
He looked every bit the curmudgeon she’d heard he could be, and she hoped he wasn’t angry with her.
He nodded a greeting at Torin and waved in the direction of town.
“You realize Ivy’s presence will have to be explained to the Nortons and Bellaires.
I doubt Ivy’s willing to lie about having just arrived without any notice.
Cora certainly won’t be. Nor will I. It’s a minister’s household; they won’t gossip.
They’re used to keeping confidences. And their servants are entirely loyal to Andre Bellaire. ”
Torin’s jaw clenched. He stiffly nodded.
“I’m all packed,” she told Brian, and then turned to Torin. “Jewel should be awake soon. I don’t want to leave without saying goodbye.”
He half turned away. “I think it’s best you go right now.”
Ivy fought to keep her voice steady. “But she won’t understand me disappearing.” In spite of her efforts, her tone ended on a pleading note.
“Jewel won’t understand you leaving.” For the first time, the heat of anger showed in his cool facade. “I’ll tell her you’ve gone to town to be with Cora. She’ll assume you’ll return. But hopefully, she’ll eventually forget you.” This time, he directly met her eyes. “With any luck, so will I.”
She gasped at the blow.
Torin’s gaze dropped briefly to her lips. But he neither reacted nor reached out. He simply nodded and disappeared inside.
Brian let out a raspy breath. “I’ll load up your trunks.”
Almost blinded by tears she was determined not to let fall, Ivy led him into the house and to her room. From the sound of the axe chopping, Torin had gone out the back door and was releasing his feelings on the logs.
After Brian loaded the second trunk, she put on her hat and coat and picked up her satchel. Moving to the back door, she reached for the knob and then pulled her hand back, not sure if she could bear to face more of Torin’s cold rejection.
“I wouldn’t, Ives,” Brian said, coming up from behind her. “Best you leave Torin be. Right now, he’s like a wounded bear. If you corner him, he’ll claw you. No sense letting him hurt you more.”
She kept her back to him and tiptoed into Jewel’s bedroom. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
The girl slept sprawled on her back, one arm clutching her rag doll, the cat tucked against her side.
“Bye, Brave,” she whispered, briefly scratching the cat’s head.
“Take good care of our Jewel.” She bent and brushed the hair from Jewel’s forehead, leaning to kiss her.
“Good-bye, dearest girl. I wish you knew how much I will always love you.” Ivy forced back tears and left the room.
Brian awaited her in the hall. He gave her a sympathetic look.
Ivy was grateful he didn’t say anything, for she couldn’t speak. Once outside, she mustered all her strength to move forward and not turn around for a farewell glance. Torin wouldn’t be there waving good-bye like she was on a jaunt to town.
Brian helped her into the seat, and she stared at the lake, placid and blue from the sky’s reflection. She wished the water looked stormy and gray to portray her mood.
The swans glided by, the cygnets bigger now, a mottled gray-brown and white as their feathers began to show. I won’t see them grow into adults.
They drove in silence along the lake and then turned onto the mountain road. Brian let the horse mosey around the curves of the twisty dirt track. “All of us at Three Bend Lake, needed to escape our families in some way.”
His conversation starter surprised her. She’d expected Brian to ask what happened. Ivy turned toward him. “You formed your own family here.”
“Torin and Hank are like brothers to me. Jewel’s my niece.”
I’ve come between them. Guilt rose, followed by sadness that she wouldn’t be part of the Three Bend Lake family.
Brian slanted her a smile. “My sugar princess is pretty easy to love, isn’t she?”
Like she’s my own daughter. Too choked up to speak, Ivy could only nod.
“Cora loves you like a sister.”
“As I do her.” She spared a guilty thought for Katie. “We were always closer than I am with my own sister.”
“Well,” he drawled. “Since I’ll be marrying Cora, that makes you my sister, too. Regardless of the squabbles in our family, I have your back.”
She huffed. Squabbles. Squabbles? My heart is torn into tiny pieces, and he calls this a squabble? She wished she knew Brian well enough to really treat him like a brother and elbow him in the ribs.
Seeming not to notice her reaction, he rambled on. “Normally, Torin is the most amiable of men. I’ve never seen him act like he did today. Except in this one issue with Jewel, where he’s implacable.”
Implacable is a good description.
“We’ve seen what a difference you’ve made, and we’ve all hoped the outcome would be positive—that his heart would win the battle over his head. Or, perhaps I should say, the fears in his head.”
“I had to leave. He blames me, and I couldn’t bear it.” She went on to tell him the story of the girls playing.
Brian paid attention to his driving but nodded and made an occasional noise to show he listened.
When she finished, Ivy slumped against the seat, as if unable to hold herself firmly erect.
He remained silent for a few moments, obviously thinking. “You’ve got him running scared, that’s for sure. If it makes a difference to you, I think you’re doing the right thing.”
Hearing him affirm her choice relaxed some of the tightness in her chest. She let out a long breath.
“It’ll take an explosion to bring down those walls of his,” Brian said in a wry tone, “and to move him out from the rubble. And you’ve certainly caused that.”
His words gave her heart a little lift.
But what if instead of emerging, Torin chooses to hunker in the rubble?